Page 8 of The Condemned (Echoes from the Past #6)

FIVE

Quinn pretended to nibble on a piece of pizza, wishing all the while she could quietly slip away to the bedroom, where she could be alone with her turbulent thoughts.

Putting on an act for Emma’s sake was beyond her abilities at the moment.

She finally pushed away her plate. “I’m sorry. I need to lie down for a bit.”

“Are you sick, Mum?” Emma asked, looking worried.

“Just a headache. It’ll be all better soon.”

“We’ll save you some pizza,” she offered, eyeing the half-full box. “Maybe you can have it for breakfast.”

Emma was really suggesting that she, herself, could have it for breakfast, but Quinn was in no mood to give a lecture on healthy eating. “Yes, maybe,” she mumbled and fled the brightly lit kitchen.

The bedroom was mercifully quiet and dark.

Quinn kicked off her shoes and curled up on the bed without removing her clothes.

Her insides felt hollow, as if someone had scooped out all her organs and left behind a useless shell.

How could Jo have gone missing without anyone noticing or caring?

Surely there was someone here in London who loved her, who’d worry if they hadn’t heard from her.

She was a thirty-one-year-old woman, she had to have someone in her life—a husband or boyfriend, or close friends.

It didn’t seem as if anyone was looking for her.

And if they were, they wouldn’t find her from London.

Someone had to go to Afghanistan and look for Jo in earnest. They had to retrace her steps, talk to people she’d come in contact with, visit the British Embassy.

No one vanished without a trace; someone out there knew where Jo had gone, and with whom. Someone always knew something.

Quinn closed her eyes. She was so tired, so depleted.

The last year of her life had been a roller coaster, and she couldn’t handle any more unexpected drops, nor could she get off this ride.

Jo was her sister, her twin. Quinn couldn’t go on with her life as if nothing had changed.

She owed it to herself and to Jo to find out what had happened and help in any way she could.

As Quinn drifted off to sleep, her mind seemed to respond to her earlier question, her inner voice as clear as a bell. I must go to Kabul .

When she awoke, bright winter sunlight streamed through the net curtains.

Gabe had covered her with a fleece afghan when he came to bed so as not to wake her.

He was already up, and Alex’s cot was empty, his yellow blanket pushed off to the side.

For a moment, Quinn wished she could remain in bed and hide from the world, but she threw off the afghan and got up.

She could hear Emma’s voice coming from the kitchen and Gabe’s measured response. He was so patient.

Quinn went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, washed her face, combed her hair, and made her way to the kitchen, looking a little more presentable.

Emma was sitting at the breakfast table eating a bowl of cereal.

Gabe sat across from her, Alex in his arms. Alex was lazily sucking on a bottle, his gaze fixed on Emma, who made a face at him.

“Good morning,” Gabe said. “Feeling better?”

Quinn nodded, though she didn’t feel better.

In fact, she felt worse, but now wasn’t the time to say anything.

She poured herself a cup of tea and added a splash of milk.

Normally, she didn’t take sugar, but today she added two spoonfuls, suddenly desperate for something sweet.

“Would you like some tea?” she asked Gabe.

Gabe shook his head, watching her intently. “I’ll take Emma to school and come back,” he said.

“Don’t you have to go to work?”

“I’ll come back,” Gabe repeated. “We’ll talk then.”

“All right. ”

Quinn drank her tea, then poured herself another mug and moved into the lounge, where Alex was happily playing on his activity mat.

She couldn’t seem to find the energy to do anything useful.

On fine days she took Alex for a walk in the mornings and stopped at the shops to pick up a few things for dinner, but today she remained on the sofa, too listless to even change her clothes.

Gabe returned a short while later. He shrugged off his coat, unwound his scarf, then walked over to Quinn, who looked up to meet his gaze. His cheeks were ruddy with cold when he kissed her.

“All right?” he asked, his eyes searching her face.

She knew he was worried, and she wished she could put his mind at rest, but Gabe was the one person who always understood and stood by her.

He’d see things her way. Quinn waited until Gabe settled himself in a chair across from her and took the plunge.

“Gabe, I’m going to look for Jo.”

She’d expected an instant response, but he just stared at her, as if he hadn’t quite understood what she’d said.

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing. My sister is out there somewhere, and no one seems to care. I’m going to find her.”

“So, you want to go to Afghanistan to look for her?” Gabe asked, understanding finally dawning.

“I must.”

“Must you?” he asked sarcastically. His eyes narrowed, and an angry flush bloomed on his cheeks.

“Gabe, come on.”

“Come on what, Quinn? I can’t believe we are even having this conversation. We’re not talking about you going to Manchester or even Edinburgh. We are talking about Kabul. People die in Kabul. It’s a war zone, in case you forgot.”

“I have a responsibility to my sister. ”

“You have a responsibility to me,” Gabe snapped, his voice brittle with suppressed fury.

“You have a family, a three-month-old baby, whom you’re still nursing.

You have no right to put yourself in danger and go off on this wild goose chase.

You don’t even know if Jo is truly in danger or just taking a bit of time off.

Just because she’s off the grid doesn’t automatically mean she’s hurt. ”

“I won’t know that for sure unless I find her,” Quinn retorted.

“Quinn, I forbid it. I absolutely forbid you to go to Afghanistan.”

“Are you serious? You forbid me? Did you really just say that? I expect you of all people to understand and not go all medieval on me.”

“Is it medieval to care about the safety of your wife and the mother of your children? Does finding Jo mean more to you than your safety and the emotional well-being of your children? What would I tell them if you didn’t come back?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Quinn cried.

“Because Kabul is a dangerous place, and you’re obviously not thinking clearly if you even have to ask.

Call the embassy, speak to Jo’s agent, contact her attorney, do what you must, but you can’t go to Afghanistan.

I won’t let you.” Gabe was on his feet now, his voice rising in anger.

“Quinn, if you insist on going through with this, we are finished. There will be no coming back from this, not if you completely disregard my feelings and put this misguided quest above your family. The choice is yours.”

“Or what? You’ll divorce me?” Quinn challenged him.

Gabe didn’t immediately reply, but his cold stare was answer enough. Quinn grabbed her purse and keys and stormed out of the flat, slamming the door behind her. She was shaking with anger, her mind exploding with outrage .

“I forbid you,” Gabe had said. Where did he get off?

Who did he think he was to even speak to her that way?

This wasn’t a misguided quest; it was a rescue mission.

Jo was her sister, not some mate from college or a pleasant coworker.

Jo was family, she was blood, and she was in trouble.

How could Gabe expect Quinn to just stand by and hope everything turned out okay?

He would walk through fire to save someone he loved. Why did he expect anything less of her?

Quinn strode toward the lift and repeatedly slammed her finger into the button. She was so angry she could barely breathe. The lift finally came, and the doors opened, ready to take her down to street level, away from Gabe, and away from her children.

Quinn stared at the empty lift until the doors closed and she heard the cables shifting as the lift was called to another floor.

She pressed her head to the cool metal doors and took several deep breaths.

What did she think she was doing? Gabe was absolutely right.

She had no right to put herself in danger.

She had a family; a baby whose well-being came above anything she might feel at this moment.

Gabe wasn’t being medieval, he was being sensible, and very patient.

She’d unwittingly put herself in danger when she confronted Robert Chatham, then she’d nearly lost their baby when Brett had locked her in that tomb in New Orleans.

Given her history, her judgement wasn’t as clear-eyed as she liked to believe.

She was a wife and a mother, and by agreeing to take on those two roles, she’d given up the right to act on a whim and do what was best for her.

She wanted to find her sister more than anything in the world, but rushing off to a war-torn country wasn’t the way to do it.

Quinn slowly turned around and walked back to the flat. She let herself in and walked into the kitchen, where Gabe was warming up milk for Alex. He didn’t turn around but stood facing the microwave, his shoulders rigid and his stance aggressive.

“I’m sorry. You are right,” Quinn muttered. Gabe didn’t reply, but some of the defensiveness went out of his posture.

“Gabe, please talk to me. ”

“What do you want me to say?” Gabe asked without turning around. He took the bottle out of the microwave, tested the milk on his hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot, and left the kitchen, with Quinn trailing behind him.

“I want you to say you understand how I feel.”