Page 34 of The Brutal Arrangement (The Ivanov Syndicate #2)

DAMON

A fter a late night of an intense ordeal in the basement—handling a young recruit who thought he could be a defector—I was glad to come home to my wife.

Lucy never failed to be sweet and patient with me, somehow just knowing when I had a little too much dark energy in me that I needed to get out.

She hadn’t flinched when I tied her up and spanked her. She hadn’t protested when I choked her.

Nope.

She reveled in it, coming hard and so satisfied afterward.

As I slowly woke up this morning, still feeling the aches in my muscles from beating that punk last night, I experienced an instant spike of fear that she could be gone.

That, like my dreams that disturbed me in the little sleep I’d gotten, that she was sick of how demented I was.

That she couldn’t tolerate being married to a monster as cruel as me.

I didn’t want my violent urges to ever reach her in a bad way, but she only gave me clues that she liked my being rough with her.

Opening my eyes fully, I saw that she was still here. Inches from me, she was curled in a slight fetal position, hugging herself in bed.

I exhaled a long breath of relief, overwhelmed with how much I’d taken her for granted in the beginning, so caught up in my convictions that she had to be a liar, that she couldn’t be trusted.

Seeing her with me gave me another reminder of how much I had to fight for now. I’d gone extra hard on that young asshole who thought he could let some Romanos into one of our warehouses. Fuckers like him threatened my family, and that included this sweet, innocent woman in my bed.

My wife.

Maybe someday, the mother of my children.

She pouted, not opening her eyes. “You know, it’s kinda creepy to watch someone sleep.”

I smiled, amused that she knew I was staring at her. Gently pulling her closer until she cooperated and unfurled herself to drape her naked body over mine, I relished the bliss of simply waking up with her.

“I will always watch you, Lucy.” I kissed the top of her head as she sighed and lay on me. “You’re too fucking gorgeous not to notice.”

Her cheek lifted in a smile. “Is that so?” She rubbed her fingertips over a tattoo of the grim reaper on my pec.

“It is so.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

I grunted a laugh.

“Don’t annoy me with how ‘scarred’ you are,” she quipped. “One gash above your eyebrow doesn’t make you hideous.” She leaned up to stare at me. “It makes you sexier.”

I raised both brows. “Oh?”

She frowned. “Yeah.”

“You don’t seem happy about that.”

“I don’t like the idea of other women finding you attractive.”

I chuckled, pulling her higher to kiss her deeply. “I’m yours, Lucy.”

She hummed her agreement. “And I’m yours.”

Rolling her until I hovered over her, I wasted no time in trailing my hand lower.

I sought her pussy, determined to get a quickie in before I had to leave to deal with business.

Father was having more good days than bad, and Maxim was concerned that he’d try to claim leadership again too soon.

Because just when he had us believing he was back to “normal”, he’d have a delusional spell and worry us all.

My brother wasn’t power hungry to hold on to his title as Pakhan , but he was logical and clear-headed where Father wasn’t fully there yet.

“Regardless,” I said as she peppered my face with little kisses as I rubbed her pussy, “I hope any children we have will have your good looks, not mine.”

“Have you thought about that much?” she asked, her voice breathy as she parted her legs wider and welcomed my touch.

“About you having my children? Yes.” I kissed her deeper and sucked on her tongue until she moaned and reached for my dick to stroke it.

“No, what it would be like. Did you…” She lost her thought as I fingered her and added my thumb to put pressure on her clit. “Did you…”

“Did I what?” I asked, kissing along the shell of her ear.

“Did you want to have children? Not because you need heirs but just to have a family.”

I smiled, watching her as the desire took over her. We both liked it hard and rough, but these more tender moments were just as good. “That heir stuff is just my grandmother nagging.”

“But…”

I nodded, kissing her again. “I have thought about having children. A family of my own. And my opinion remains the same. I hope they take after?—”

She pushed my chest, cringing as she covered her mouth and squirmed to get free. This wasn’t a little protest. The panic and dread in her eyes hinted at her sincere urge to get off the bed.

“Lucy?” I reared back, letting her get up. As I sat, alarmed, she slid off the mattress and ran to the bathroom.

The sounds of her gagging, then puking, had me rushing after her.

I found her at the toilet, breathing hard. More color returned to her face, but I worried, nonetheless. “Lucy…” I frowned and knelt to get closer, rubbing her back. “What’s wrong?”

She faced me, boring me with such a scared expression that it stilled my heart.

“I’m not sure that anything is wrong …” She swallowed, wincing at the motion.

“What do you mean?” I got up to get a cup of water from the vanity and returned to her.

She winced at the sight of the cup. “Uh, not yet,” she argued weakly, holding a hand over her stomach.

“Just sip it.”

“I’m not dehydrated from puking once, Damon.”

I set the cup down, not overly concerned about pushing this point. Nor was I bothered about her appearing to disobey me. “Lucy?” I resumed rubbing her back. “Could this mean…?”

Maybe it’s morning sickness.

She met my gaze with a slight smile. “What if it does?”

I hugged her, smiling widely at the mere thought of her being pregnant. Not because Grandmother wanted another heir. Not because I wanted to baby trap Lucy to stay in this marriage. But because this would be a new beginning, a new adventure for us to learn how to navigate together.

“I’ve never felt like this before. And I’ve been wondering all this time because I missed my period…”

Excitement thrummed through me. I could barely contain it, but I tried not to overwhelm her and instead comfort her and be supportive. I kissed her, cupping her face and scolding myself not to get ahead of ourselves yet.

“Let’s get a test and see.”

She nodded, leaning on me as I sat with her.

Using the voice command wired into the smart-home device in the bathroom, I asked for someone to bring me a pregnancy test. Since Sloane revealed that she was pregnant, and Maxim had a slight paranoia of her suddenly just not being pregnant, boxes of tests were available.

Within moments, someone confirmed via voice command with an announcement that the box was left in my kitchen.

“Wait one second,” I told Lucy as I went to get the test.

Together, we read the instructions over and over, making sure we’d do this right. Instead of being modest about using the bathroom in front of me, which proved to me how nervous Lucy was, I stayed in the bathroom and gave her my back while she did the test.

She set it on the vanity and sat on the closed toilet lid. “Now we wait for six minutes.”

“No. Two minutes. You had to take the test for at least six seconds,” I corrected as I faced her.

She nodded, tense and biting the inside of her cheek.

“Come here,” I said, gesturing for her to walk into my arms. The second I had her in a tight hug, I turned to sit with her nestled on my lap. “Relax.”

“That’s so not happening. My life is about to change, more than it’s already changed!”

I kept smooth, steady strokes of my hand on her back, hoping to comfort her.

“It will change, and we will adapt.”

She nodded again, yet she still frowned with worry.

“You will want for nothing, Lucy. This baby will have everything he or she could need or want.”

Her throat flexed with a swallow as she stared up at me. “What about safety?”

I furrowed my brow. “Safety?”

She nodded quicker than before, belying her nerves. “Nik is still missing. Someone poisoned your father. What if?—”

I kissed her, silencing this stream of anxiety.

It didn’t work completely, though. She opened her eyes, showing me that they shone with that nervousness.

“What if someone tries to take our baby?” Her eyes glossed over with tears, and I held her close, moved that she could be this protective of our child before we had any confirmation that he or she existed yet.

She would make a good mother. I knew it as a fact, and I smiled as I held her close.

“Lucy…”

“No. Don’t try to coddle me or tell me there’s nothing like that to worry about.”

I shook my head, staring into her baby blues. “I wouldn’t lie and ever say that. Being an Ivanov means there is always an inherent risk.”

She whined, pressing her hands to my chest. “That’s not helping.”

“I won’t ever lie that we face threats daily. That comes with being in this family. But we have one of the strongest forces, an army of loyal men who would protect us all.”

I didn’t let my mind wander to that asshole from last night. He was an example of how we had to face dangers from within from time to time too.

“Nik’s disappearance is a layered situation, too,” I explained, glad that she seemed slightly calmer the more I talked. “Yes, he was taken, but it’s more likely that he’s acting weak and letting himself stay captured on purpose. To deliberately be in the enemy’s hands to get intel for us.”

“I know. You’ve mentioned that before.” She stroked her fingers over my chest. “Sloane and I were talking about it too, and she seems to think that he’s all right. But…”

“But nothing.” I kissed her again. “We will take this one step at a time. That is all we can ever do.”

Without another word, I reached for the plastic test on the vanity.

Two lines.

She gasped as she saw it too.

My heart raced with pure elation and I clutched her close to my chest.

We were having a baby.

Lucy and I weren’t just forced together in marriage, starting as a couple.

We were a family , with our child on the way.

“Oh, Damon.” She sniffled, burrowing her face against my chest.

I laughed slightly, so overwhelmed with utter joy that I couldn’t stop smiling as I held her.

“We’re having a baby,” she said.

I nodded, rocking her as she hugged me back. “We’re having a baby,” I agreed.

She leaned back quickly, cupping my face. “I’m scared.”

I grinned before slanting close to kiss her. “I can tell.”

“Aren’t you?” she exclaimed as she smiled through her happy tears.

“Not at all. Because I promise you that I will always protect you. I will always keep you and our child safe.” I sealed it with a kiss.

No matter what.