Page 28 of The Brutal Arrangement (The Ivanov Syndicate #2)

LUCY

I soaked in that tub until my fingers were wrinkled. I sat there in the water so long that it went cold. Numbness had already seeped through me from the news of my mom being moved into a crappy facility, though, so it wasn’t as if I suffered from the cooling bath.

Eventually, I got out. It would serve me no purpose to linger and wallow in that tub or anywhere else.

There was no hope for me to have any control over my life in any way, but sinking—literally—into dread and gloom seemed like a waste.

Wishing things could be different also seemed like a futile joke, but I couldn’t help it.

After I dressed, I dropped into bed and stared at the ceiling, doing my best not to picture my mom being shuffled from her current nursing home to another location.

Moving wasn’t ideal for someone in her position.

Her memories were already locked away and out of reach, but the faint ability to form short-term connections to her surroundings would mess her up like this.

Routines mattered. Keeping things consistent and predictable were preferred. But once she got into that shitty state-run facility, she’d be just a number. Just a body to place somewhere without any adequately trained staff there to give a damn about her.

Tears began to fall again, but since I was alone in this bedroom, I didn’t care. My body hurt too much. My heart ached with such a severe, gaping intensity that I doubted it’d ever be pieced together again.

This was it.

This was my one purpose. My one mission in life.

And I’d failed it.

All I had tried to do since my dad died was comfort my mom. Then as I noticed signs of her mental decline, I tried to take charge and be responsible for keeping her as safe and happy and comfortable as I could.

But that, too, was so far out of my control that I shouldn’t have ever gotten my hopes up to think I could succeed there.

I’m sorry, Mom.

I tried.

Regret made my heart sink lower, and I doubted that I’d ever forgive myself for thinking I could have a shortcut to financial security, that I could’ve found a lucky fortune to have her moved into Dream Garden.

It really came down to one simple fact that I’d so dumbly ignored.

If something seems too good to be true…

I sighed, opening my eyes as I accepted that I’d failed that test twice.

My first mistake was in thinking Katerina would hold up her end of the bargain. That was the price I paid for being so eager for a friend that I believed her.

My second mistake was in starting to think that Damon could begin to care for me. That was the price I had to pay for being so desperate for affection and love that I thought he cared.

Clearly, Katerina had duped me.

But I bet Damon had no clue how he was playing with my heart now.

I was so hopeful that he meant it when he wanted to let me into his life and learn to like me.

I realized that he was a guarded man, and it had felt like such a reward to earn his approval, to win his attention.

He’d shown his true colors, though. He couldn’t care about me at all if he’d cling to the accusations that I was lying.

In a hazy fugue of stress and exhaustion mixed with despair, I dozed and eventually slept all through the night.

Alone.

Damon hadn’t come back.

As if that distance wasn’t telling enough, he stayed away from me the next day, too.

A maid delivered me food that I had no appetite for.

Just like that, it seemed I’d be thrust back into that isolation I’d started with here.

I got it. I wasn’t to be trusted. I was an outsider.

I was a person sent to them under false pretenses from someone they deemed to be their enemy.

I could connect those dots and see how they’d be skeptical of anything I said.

For all their skepticism of me, though, I wanted to argue that I wasn’t giving them any room to doubt me.

I hadn’t called anyone all this time, save for that call back to the director about my mom being moved out of their facility.

I hadn’t emailed. I hadn’t even powered my phone on, partly out of fear.

If Damon doubted all of this about my mom, it wasn’t like it’d be hard for him to check it out.

My mom had kept her maiden name even after marriage, too much of an old-school feminist to take my dad’s name even though I had his at birth.

Still, these Mafia men had resources. They couldn’t verify that I was telling the truth?

Before I could suffer through another day of nothing, locked up in Damon’s apartment, he returned.

I looked up from the chair I’d chosen to sit in near the window, staring at the rain falling out the window. It streaked down in rivulets, almost mesmerizing me in a zoned-out state of blankness.

He didn’t speak as he strode toward me. That serious, stern stare he gave me would’ve chilled me weeks ago, but I was too empty inside to care now.

Is this it?

He’s going to kill me now?

What’s next?

Standing in front of me, he lifted his chin and looked down at me. “Did you see it?”

I arched one brow. “See what?”

He looked around, seeming to search for something. “Where’s your phone?”

I shrugged. “On the table, where you left it.” I’d of course noticed that it had been picked up—not by me, though.

He’d left it on and set it on the table, where it remained.

I didn’t dare touch it. If this was a test to see if I’d contact someone, I’d pass it with flying colors.

I had no one to call or contact. Katerina wouldn’t come through for me.

My mom was being relocated. There was no one else.

Without a word, he walked over to the coffee table and retrieved it. When he came back to me, he held it up to be unlocked via facial recognition, then tapped on the screen.

“This was shared with your cloud yesterday.” He rotated his hand to show me the screen. “Last night.”

I furrowed my brow, watching the small screen with the cracked corner.

I’d never been able to afford a replacement, and it worked fine enough, anyway.

On the screen, I watched the video of my mother resting in a bed.

Pale-blue and gray walls showed behind her with a decorative trim.

It wasn’t the dingy, water-stained white that I was familiar with at her nursing home.

The cover over her was clean and smooth, looking so soft and warm.

This was a new linen set without holes and clear wear and tear on it.

Plush carpet spread beneath the bed, not the chipped and mismatched linoleum tiles.

This was the state-run place? It seemed too nice.

“What is this?” I asked, wary as I looked back again and watched my mother resting peacefully.

“Dream Garden. Your mother was found at her last place and moved here to their last VIP suite.”

My eyes bugged out. I dropped my jaw and glanced at him. Shock didn’t begin to cover what I was struck with. “She’s at the Dream Garden facility?”

He nodded once, not smiling, not budging.

“But Katerina didn’t—” I clamped my lips shut, puzzling it out quickly.

No, Katerina clearly hadn’t covered my mom’s bills. But he had.

“It seems that she tried to pay on the account, but her payment was redacted.”

I narrowed my eyes, nervous to just believe what he told me. “How do you know this?”

“I had my men look into this situation.”

“To see if I was lying?” I didn’t care if he thought I was being too sassy.

“Of course. If you expect me to worry about hurting your feelings, just know that I won’t. Not when it comes to my family’s security. Trust is earned. It’s curated and maintained. I will not apologize for being concerned about your lying to me when you came here as a lie.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, holding in any retort that might’ve blurted out. He wasn’t wrong. Katerina and I had lied like that, but it was old news now. I had explained the switch that first day.

“I had my men look into your mother’s situation, and we discovered a failed payment from a source that was likely Katerina. I’ve since cleared the debts and had her moved into Dream Garden, which is reputed to be the best of the best.”

“Why?” I wouldn’t hold on to these hurt feelings that he would so instantly assume I was a liar. I had to focus on what mattered. My mom was in a better place, thanks to him. But I didn’t see why he’d do that when he clearly didn’t care about me.

“Why what?”

“Why did you take over her care and have her moved to a better place?”

He stared at me for a long moment, making me impatient for his reply. Finally, he said, “Because you are my wife.”

I shook my head. “No. I’m your thing . I’m your woman to fuck and walk away from. You don’t care about me. So, why would you care about what matters to me?”

Again, he stuck with that silent treatment. His cool stares wouldn’t break me now.

I stood, needing an answer.

“Or is this more leverage to use over me?” That had to be it.

If he didn’t care about me, that was all that remained.

Power over me. Control over me. I didn’t know why he had such a mandate to control and overpower me like this when I posed no threat.

I didn’t know any secrets to spill. I wasn’t valuable in any other way.

But that had to be the only reason he was doing this.

To remind me that he was in charge and I’d always be at his mercy.

I was no one.

I was a nobody in this criminal organization.

I had nothing.

He’d taken over my mother’s care for the same reason Katerina had dangled it in front of me like a carrot.

It was just a reason to bow and surrender.

I shook my head, hating that I could be in such a pathetic situation.

“Let me guess. You took over my debt and my mother’s care so I would owe you now, instead of her?”

He scowled. That was the only reaction he made.

“Now that I’m here and under your thumb, you’ve made sure that I won’t leave. That I won’t be able to have any power over anything in my life.”

I wished this were so unbelievable that he’d laugh off my guess.

When he didn’t, only staring at me with such low-burning anger, I had my answer.

It was believable. He really was doing this to control me even further.

I just wished I knew why. He didn’t care about me.

He didn’t know me. And he sure as hell didn’t love me to warrant his actions for my mother’s care.

In any other circumstances, this should’ve been a case of a husband wanting to provide for his wife, ensuring his mother-in-law was comfortable and safe because he was acting out of compassion.

That wasn’t the case.

I knew better than to let my stupid heart get me so optimistic.

I’d never believe in love again.

All because of my husband’s failure to care for me, I would never let the idea of love and companionship enter my head again.

Shaking my head, I turned to walk away and go back to bed.