Page 21

Chapter

Twenty-One

I didn’t talk to Crystal or Maddie for the next four days. All of us holed up and studied, working late hours in the library where the internet was faster.

Surprisingly, that was when the festive spirit of Calgary finally started seeping into my stressed-out bones. Wandering between home and the buildings on campus, I couldn't help but smile at the twinkling lights and garlands strung along the brick and wrapped around lamp posts.

Through it all, I barely saw Rob, both of us buried in term papers and exam prep. I fought the part of me that wanted to find excuses to sit out in the living area. To accidentally cross paths when it wasn’t necessary.

Then finally, we arrived at Thursday. The first day of the invitational. Finals were over, the weight of academic stress lifted like a helium balloon released into the sky. Which I would never do because: sea turtles. But still. An overwhelming contentment settled against my bones as I made my way to the huge student hall for the invitational pancake breakfast.

The aroma of sizzling sausage and pancakes wafted through the air, making my stomach rumble. Long tables covered with checkered cloths stretched across the vast room, outfitted with plates of butter and bottles of maple syrup. Athletes and friends milled about in their team colours, an excited energy buzzing through the hall.

I loved that we did this. Other universities probably had their own traditions, but I doubted they were as over the top as Douglas. The lore was that the invitational started because the coach of the Outlaws back in the eighties was in love with the mom of a hockey player at some school in British Columbia. He started the tournament and pulled out all the stops to make the teams, and especially her, feel welcome. Supposedly they were engaged a few weeks later. The traditions still stood thanks to generous donors and the invitational was a bigger event than any other on campus.

All teams were invited to participate, and against all odds, there hadn’t been any incidents with visiting teams. Part of that could have been that the teams who had reputations simply weren’t invited. Plus, getting free food tended to make people grateful.

I spotted Maddie and Crystal already seated with the Outlaws, waving me over. Weaving through the jostling bodies, I slid into a chair between them. I pretended not to notice Rob next to Rory. Or at least not notice him more or less than anyone else.

"Well well, look who decided to grace us with her presence," Axel drawled.

I sighed. "What can I say? Some of us actually value our education."

Crystal snorted. "You do know who you’re talking to?" She elbowed the hulking defenseman next to her.

Bear sat down, his plate piled high with a leaning tower of pancakes. “It’s not that we don’t care. We just know our limitations.”

Maddie rolled her eyes. “Your only limitation is right here.” She tapped her head with her finger.

Bear grinned and held up his hand. “This finger? Definitely not limited.” He waggled his eyebrows.

I groaned and grabbed a plate. Crystal pulled me from my seat, and I followed her to the buffet line. Rob looked up, and I briefly caught his eye before pinning my gaze on the back of Crystal’s head.

My sunshiny mood clouded over. Not friends? I wondered if he thought I wasn’t his friend when he saw his clean jersey draped over his chair. Ugh, I wanted to slap him. I thought I’d gotten over it, but maybe my successful avoidance of him over the past week had been masking those emotions that were still very much there if my clenched fists were to be believed.

Rob had held me in the middle of the night. He’d helped me get my violin, albeit with a tad bit of blackmail, but he did it. I made him dinner, and we talked for over an hour that night. Why would he, after all that, go back to being a jerk?

“Hey, you want sausage?” Crystal pointed at the student waiting to drop two links on my plate. I nodded, and we made our way through the line, then sat back with the team, listening to them swap stats and analyze their competition.

I glanced around the room. There were a few teams that were looking good this year, but the Outlaws were favoured. But without Logan . . .

"So Sharla, you coming to the games this year?" Rory needled.

I scoffed. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, since Logan isn’t here?—”

“Um, if you remember, I loved this team first. Logan and I got together after I was already a fan.”

Axel reached over and put his arm around me. “I’m here for you. If you get lonely with Logan gone.”

I laughed, then looked up to see Rob staring at us. He stood and picked up his plate, his jaw tense. “Probably time to go.”

Rory glanced at his watch. “We have a few more minutes.”

Rob pushed his chair in. “I’m going to head over now.”

“Okay, grumpy,” Crystal murmured as he walked away from the table.

I nudged her. “He’s probably just nervous.” I watched his retreating figure. Had I done something wrong? Said something wrong? I’d rehashed our phone conversation a hundred times but couldn’t figure it out.

The truth was, I did feel a little bit naked without Logan there next to me. Normally my schedule revolved around his. I was with him between games, worried about getting him food or Tiger Balm or whatever he needed to recoup. But now? I was free as a bird.

The team started to disperse, heading off with Rob, and eventually, it was just us ladies, surrounded by the detritus of a truly epic breakfast. I turned to Maddie and Crystal with a grin. "So, what trouble should we get into while the boys are away?"

Crystal slapped her hands on the table. "Cafeteria streaking.”

“Matching tattoos!” Maddie added.

Pam, Rory’s girlfriend, snorted. “How about we grab coffees and scope out the competition instead? I hear the team from Saskatchewan has some real hotties." She winked.

"Now you're talking," Crystal agreed, pushing up from her chair. "Lead the way, oh wise one."

We watched the end of a game between a team from Grande Prairie and U of L—total blowout—then bought snacks in anticipation of the Outlaws facing off against the Coyotes from Bayshore College on Vancouver Island.

"I heard their top scorer, Jaxon Reed, is NHL-bound after graduation," Crystal whispered, eyes glued to the Coyotes’ muscular captain as he warmed up. "Twenty goals in fifteen games this season."

"Pfft. Logan’s sitting at twenty-five goals, and Rory’s right behind with nineteen. Plus, we've got Tim in net and Rob mid. The Coyotes don't stand a chance."

Crystal nodded in agreement. "Totally. The Outlaws are going to destroy them." She chewed her lower lip. "Maybe number twelve will need comforting."

I elbowed her playfully. "Down, girl.”

She winked, then launched into a discussion with Maddie about who they thought was single. Okay. So it sucked a little that I wasn’t single this year. That had been the most fun part last time, and it stung a little that I couldn’t in good conscience join in.

The puck dropped, and the game began in a flurry of motion. Rory won the face-off—the Outlaws took possession. They made it look easy, passing the puck between them as they wove through the other team.

It only took three minutes before Axel took the shot, and the puck sailed past the Coyotes’ goalie's outstretched glove. The Outlaw bench exploded in cheers as the goal horn blared. Crystal cheered, doing a victory shimmy.

A few minutes later, Tim made an acrobatic save to keep the Coyotes off the scoreboard. By the end of the first period, we were up two nil and flying high. The rest of the game was more of the same. The Coyotes fought hard, but they were outmatched. Our offense was relentless, even without Logan, and our defense was unbreakable. The final score was five to one, Outlaws.

We spilled out of the stands and into the hall to congratulate the team as they came out of the locker room. Eventually. No secret stairwell today.

After grabbing hot dogs in the square, we went back to the rink for the big welcome celebration. Each team made a grand entrance, skating out in full uniform with their school colors and banners held high. I wasn’t sure why they had games before the official reception, but if the Olympics could get away with it, I figured Douglas was in good company.

The Outlaws looked dashing in their maroon and gold, Douglas University's crest emblazoned on their chests. They hammed it up for the cheering crowd, playing to the hometown audience.

My eyes locked onto Rob, his dark hair mussed from the air whipping around his face as he circled the ice. He was smiling, and the sight of it was a gut punch. I couldn’t remember him smiling since we had dinner together at the house. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Seeing it now blew oxygen over the coals that had been simmering in my chest since that phone conversation on Saturday night. Why did he get to decide if we were friends or not? Rob wasn’t in charge of my friendships. He didn’t get to just flick his asshole switch on and off. We’d proven we could get along just fine, so why would he go and ruin that?

Boos and cheers erupted for the Timber Valley University Grizzlies in forest green and gold, roaring fiercely. They were followed by the Silver Ridge Sentinels in navy and white. Lastly, the Clearwater University Wolves bounded out in green and white, their wolf mascot loping alongside them and howling.

"Is it wrong that I find that costume kind of adorable?" Maddie stage-whispered.

Crystal’s eyes widened. “Babe, go for it.”

After the last team circled the ice, we followed the throngs through the square and made our way to Ranchmans where the tables were almost all full. But being the home team did have its advantages. We took up residence at the Outlaws reserved table and ordered as fast as we could so we could vacate our seats when the rest of the team arrived.

By seven o’clock it was standing room only, which was perfect timing because now that it was dark, we were on track for my favourite tradition of the weekend. It was the only reason all of us had worn snow boots to the games earlier.

We left Ranchmans in small groups to avoid being completely obvious, then snuck to the back door of the cafeteria, keeping to the shadows. It was completely unnecessary. We did this every single year, and it wasn't like the administration was oblivious. How could they be when they found a stack of waterlogged trays in the kitchen the next morning?

“Shit, you almost knocked me over!” Axel laughed, and Rob shushed him.

Effing Rob. He looked like he was having a grand old time. Celebrating at Ranchmans, laughing with his friends. It made me want to punch him in the face.

Rory ran forward, pulling on the door handle. It was open as expected. He, Rob, and Axel ran in, and a few moments later, trays started appearing through the gap in the door.

We each grabbed one, waiting for them to reemerge. My toes still felt like icicles in my boots, but all it would take was one hike up that hill for my blood to get pumping.

The guys tumbled out of the cafeteria, and we slipped and slid our way across the icy square. The sun was out all day melting some of the snow we got last weekend when the boys got snowed in. Thankfully, there was still plenty on the hill.

Crystal grabbed onto my arm. “He’s up there!” she hissed.

“Who?”

She pointed, and Maddie and I peered forward, trying to see who she was pointing at.

“Number twelve?” she said slowly, as if we were not only visually impaired.

I grinned. “Ride with him. You have to.”

Our group doubled by the time we reached Pratt Hill behind the arts centre. We climbed the side of the hill, leaving the middle as pristine as it could be. There had already been sledders on it, but that would only pack down the snow and make some of the tracks more insane.

"Yo, Thommo!" Axel launched a snowball at Rob's head. "Fifty bucks says I smoke your ass!"

Rob easily dodged the icy projectile and smirked. "Make it a hundred and you're on."

I huffed as we crested the top of the hill and paused to take in the view of the snow-covered campus. The moon was nearly full. No clouds in the sky.

Logan would’ve loved this.

My chest tightened at the thought of him, hundreds of miles away. But not for the right reasons. As I looked out on my hockey family, the thought that made a lump form in my throat wasn’t missing him. It was wondering what all of this would look like without him.

We’d built a life together over the past year. Our friends, our social calendar. All of it revolved around him. What he wanted. Who he wanted to spend time with.

Would I lose it all if I wasn’t his? It was true what I’d said at breakfast. I’d spent time with the Outlaws before Logan. But could it be the same after?

“Sharla! Get the hell over here!”

I turned to see Crystal and Maddie already sitting on their trays. I hurried over, dropped my tray on a flat patch of snow, and climbed on.

“Bring it, bitch!” Crystal shouted, and we pushed off. The night air bit at my cheeks as I gathered speed, and then Crystal was careening toward me.

"You're insane!" I yelled, laughing as she missed and rocketed to the other side of the hill. I hit a bump and went airborne for a second, landing hard enough to rattle my teeth.

Maddie somehow beat me to the bottom, and I slid to a stop next to her. Her smile said it all. Yeah. We were doing that again.

I grabbed my tray and raced her back up the hill, meeting up with Crystal on the way. We took turns riding down with the others, mixing and matching passengers. Maddie and I managed to stay upright together for a full thirty seconds before tipping into a snowbank. Axel tried to stand up on his tray like a snowboard and immediately face-planted. Rory convinced Pam to ride with him, then dropped his hand into the snow to send them in circles the whole way down. They probably heard her screams in Okotoks.

My legs burned as we trudged back up the hill, breathless and giddy. And then I made the mistake of looking up. Rob stood at the top, watching us. His dark hair was damp with melted snow, his cheeks flushed from exertion and cold.

Damn it. I jerked my eyes away. Why did I care so much what he thought? Why was his non-friendship declaration eating me up inside?

Yes, I liked to be liked. Who didn’t? But this felt like . . . more. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Truthfully, I’d been thinking about it since the day I moved in, my brain hovering over the puzzle that was Rob Thompson.

“I’m going to ask him.” Crystal jutted out her chin. “Watch this.” She climbed the last few meters and beelined directly for number twelve. We couldn’t hear what she was saying, but the guy smiled, then nodded his head. And then they were getting onto Crystal’s tiny tray, his legs wrapping around her.

“Hell yes,” Maddie whispered next to me.

Hell. Yes.

I clenched my jaw, gripping my tray tighter. “Hey, I’ll be right back.” I changed my trajectory, walking directly toward Rob. He stiffened as I approached, and I wanted to smack him over the head with my cafeteria tray.

“You and me. Let’s go.” I pointed at my tray.

His lips twitched. “I think I’m done for the night.”

“No you’re not.” I slapped my tray down and got on, positioning myself on the front half.

“We won’t fit.”

I looked up at him. “If that’s a fat joke?—”

“It’s not a fat joke,” he growled.

“Then what? You’ve ridden down this hill with people you don’t even know, so it shouldn’t be too hard to last thirty seconds with a non-friend.” I winced. “And don’t make some joke about lasting longer than thirty seconds. Axel and Rory have truly outdone themselves with innuendo tonight.”

Rob’s jaw flexed, and I started to sweat. What if he said no? What if he walked away from me right now, and I had to get up off this damn cafeteria tray and walk back over to Maddie? What if?—?

Rob dropped his tray on the snow and stalked toward me. He sat down behind me, nearly knocking me down the hill before grabbing onto my coat. “You’re going to have to sit in my lap.”

I smirked. “If you want to get up close and personal with my ass, you could’ve just asked.” I pushed up from the tray and dropped on top of him, relishing the soft “oof.” Good. I hope I knocked the wind out of him.

“You’d say yes?” Rob murmured, and every thought in my head evaporated like smoke. His arms wrapped around me, and I was transported back to my bed. To his body behind mine. The warmth of his skin. The scent of him.

“It was a joke.” My voice was thin. Breathy.

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.” He lifted his legs, supporting mine as he pushed off and gripped onto me. I wrapped my arms around his thighs, sucking in a breath as we dropped over the edge.

My whole body lit up as we flew down the hill. His stubble rubbed against my cheek, his breath whispering over my skin.

“Why can’t we be friends?” I shouted, then gasped as we hit a bump and my stomach dropped out from under me.

“What?” he yelled.

“Why? Why can’t we be friends? I don’t get it. I—” Another bump, and I was latched onto him like a baby sloth.

My breath came in staccato bursts, my heart punching a hole in my ribs as I waited for Rob’s answer. He didn’t say a word, and I smacked his leg in frustration. “Rob Thompson, I swear?—”

We careened sideways, and I toppled down the hill, tangled up with Rob, until we jolted to a stop. My back sank deep in the snow because I was heavier than usual. I opened my eyes and saw the reason why.

Rob stared back at me, his nose inches from mine. “Are you okay?” I nodded, struggling to draw a full breath. Rob shifted, starting to roll off me, but I grabbed on.

“Give me an answer, Rob.” I was suddenly desperate. I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I was either going to take a step back or topple off, but I couldn’t stand on the precipice like that a second longer.

“You already asked for answers. For Christmas.”

I rolled my eyes. “ One answer, and this one is more important.”

His chest rose and fell against mine, and his exhale warmed my cheek. “Then I’ll add it to the list.”

My eyes narrowed. “Just tell me.”

Rob’s eyes dropped to my mouth, and my heart stuttered. “Christmas. I’ll give you your answers then.”

I groaned in exasperation. “This is so stupid! Why won’t you just say it? Is it that bad? If I did something terrible, I’d like to know!” The cold from the snow seeped into my back even with my coat on. My jeans were already damp.

“Don’t be a brat. I don’t have to give you exactly what you want.”

I gaped at him. “You think this is exactly what I want?”

He pushed himself off me and kneeled, straddling my waist. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “Obviously not.”