Page 16 of The Boss

“Big? Look at the men around him! Big is an athlete or one of Papa’s enforcers. This dude looks like a wall!”

“Big is hot, right? Didn’t the file say he gets around? I mean if he doesn’t have trouble getting girls…” Mia tries.

“Bigishot. A man the size of a small building is just wrong. But he must intimate those women, lure them into his tower where he lurks like Quasimodo.”

“Quasi who?” Mia asks.

“The hunchback of Notredame. And his face…”

Ellie rushes to comfort me, of course, always the silver-lining gal, “You can’t tell much about his face at all in these photos.”

“You can tell he looks like a pissed ogre,” I say at the same time that Mia says he looks terrifying. “Yes. That too, Mia. Vix wrote that the rumor mill says he has scars on his face.”

“Scars can also be hot, depending…”

“Ellie! Quit your rose-colored-bullshit for one second and feel adequately sorry for me! I’m going to be stuck with a deformed, depraved nine-foot-tall, double-wide monster who likes to decapitate people! Not hot!” I whine. They both freeze for a beat.

Because Luna Mancini doesn’t whine.

To add insult to injury, I sneeze again, launching snot mist all over the place.

“Fuck my life,” I mutter as my two besties start to giggle again. I straighten my spine and clean myself up. “Okay. Temper tantrum out of the way. Time to ditch these cats and find something else. Maybe my terror bride character is into…lizards? Rats?” We all shudder. “No. No rodents. Can’t do it. Maybe a snake though?”

“Or a parrot? Oh! Get a fainting goat or mini pig! Please, those are so cute! You should get a whole petting zoo. Be like a hippie type who takes in all the strays,” Mia gushes.

“I would, except I have to keep them all here until the move. I don’t want goats inside my house.”

“Agreed,” Ellie looks concerned again. “Any plans yet to meet? Dinners? When I hadn’t heard anything for a week I started to get my hopes up that maybe you’d changed your dad’s mind.”

“No dinners, no meetings. Which is why I went a little nuts and bought three cats.” I look around me, dismayed. What a cluster. “Nothing at all until the formal engagement party next week, then two weeks later the wedding. All my stuff will be moved on the wedding day. I don’t have any windows of opportunity. Probably by Papa’s design.”

“Well, until the contract is signed in the church, there’s still some hope of escape, right?” Mia offers.

“Right. Also, all that time, he’s not doing any planning with you?”

“Ellie. Look at that creature. He doesn’t care if we go with white or ivory napkins!”

Mia laughs, “Facts.”

“Okay, so the operation starts once you move in.”

“Well, I’ll do my best at the party and the wedding, too.”

Mia frowns, “Your family won’t think it’s weird that you’ve suddenly changed personality?”

“My family knows I’m theprincipessa. That’s it. They don’t really know me. All the women are jealous, catty bitches who memorize the designer clothes I wear. Bosco might wonder if he looks away from Papa long enough. Papa will think I’m just acting out. Zeno will enjoy the show.”

“As will we!” Mia lifts her smoothie up in salute.

Ellie’s less enthusiastic, “You do have a reputation though, queenly, sophisticated. Everyone has grown up around you. You’ve never been whiny and spoiled.”

I laugh, “I am absolutely spoiled. As are you and every other mafia princess. Remember, weddings make people crazy. My true colors are just coming out.”

Mia nods, “I agree. It’ll work.”

I sigh, “It has to.”

Ellie grows serious again, “Don’t give up hope yet, we could still find a way.”