Page 119 of The Boss

“Fine? I’m dead.”

“If you’re shot, get to a point where you can lean on a wall or sit, get some support under your body if possible.”

I nod. He’s still not touching me. This is not how this always goes and it’s messing with my brain. Is that his point? Is he messing with me? It’s fucking working. Instead of focusing on the target or my shoulder or the incoming flight to take me to who knows where in mere minutes, I’m thinking about my husband not touching me.

I narrow my eyes at him.

“Stay with me,” he says, still frozen in his spot.

“No,” I exhale the word.

“Then let me go with you,” he counters, his eyes pleading with mine. His face…it looks like he could be in as much pain as me.

“No. Sheila, Collin, everyone. You can’t just leave your family.”

“Mac can—”

“No he can’t. He needs you. They need you there.”

He finally drops his arms and his hands twitch at his sides when he asks, “And you? You don’t need anyone? You’re ready to be alone in the shadows?”

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have Allie, she said there are others. I’ll be watching and—” I swallow down the crack in my voice, “I’ll have your six.”

“I—”

“Incoming,” Mark’s voice cuts Van off.

The formidable man in front of me deflates, shoulders sagging. Just for a second. He exhales and pauses. It’s like he’s accepting defeat. It looks all kinds of wrong. And then it’s over. He stands back up and says, “Time for you to go, then.”

He lifts me again and walks me back through the basement. He doesn’t glance at me once.

“Van, I...” I start, but I don’t finish. Because what can I say? I respect you? I appreciate you? I know you said you love me, uh, thanks? It all sounds stupid. He knows I’ll always care for him as a trainer, a friend. A really sexy, incomparable friend.

In a quick blur of activity, I’m placed on my feet next to my bed and given four pills and some water. My one small bag is already packed thanks to Ellie and Van disappears to hand pick some knives for me out of Mark’s armory. I grab a jacket Ellie is loaning me off the chair and look around the room. Not sure why. I have nothing in here. A ghost already, I guess. A shiver runs through me at the thought.

But all thoughts are cut off by the sounds of a chopper followed by an intercom alert.

I put the bag over my good shoulder and get moving. I stop by the kitchen to add some snacks and Marlon’s supplies to my bag. Ellie added some amazing baked goods too and what appears to be very fancy instant coffee. I don’t let myself think about the next time I’ll be in this kitchen or if I ever will be again.

Just keep moving.

It feels like it takes me a million steps to get up to the roof. Already missing Van in more ways than one. There Ellie and Mark are already talking to Allie. She’s in a flight suit jumper thing that looks fashionable and perfectly tailored to her body and also totally utilitarian at the same time. No sign of my husband yet.

“Ah, Luna, you’re looking better already,” Allie says when she sees me. I offer a small smile. Before I can say more, Ellie sniffs, grabbing all of my attention. Mark kisses the side of her forehead. I glare at him, then her, then him in a way that saysyou’re not good enough for her, you better take care of the bestwoman in the entire world.He rolls his eyes back with a slight nod as if to say,duh.

“It’s not goodbye forever,” Ellie cries, trying to sound calm and failing.

“Right,” I say back. I don’t sound very convincing. What do I know? I don’t even know where I’m going or for how long.

Marlon barks so I turn.

I’m struck by the sight all over again. A broken, angry, sad Quinn, coming out of the woods bleeding and holding my dog in his arms. Only this time he’s Van, he’s not bleeding and we’re on a sun-kissed rooftop in the early evening.

“We’ll give you two a minute,” Ellie says. She hugs me hard, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say back to her. Mark dips his chin at me and then wraps his arm around her waist to comfort her as they walk away. It’s the least repulsive he’s ever been.

Allie says, “Two minutes then it’s wheels up, please.” She kisses Van on the cheek and leaves us alone a few feet from the helicopter. It’s off, but still huge and black and ominous. It’s got little reflective patches all over it so it’s glistening in the light. It’s sure as hell not a normal Black Hawk.