Page 97 of The Book of Luke

“Melange, you’re one of the brightest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met. You deserve more than waiting around for other people’s crumbs.”

“Yet here we both are, Kettle.” She handed me her phone, freshly returned by Zara. “Address, please. Your kiddos have Shreveport Sammies coming their way.”

Her van soon pulled up, and she hugged me so hard I thought she might snap a rib. I’d had no idea what to expect when this lightning bolt of a woman shot into my life, but now I was even more unprepared for her to be ripped out of it.

“Don’t forget I still owe you one,” she said, climbing into the van.

“Melange, you’re long in the clear.”

“Nah, I like owing you one. How else will I lure you back for next season?”

I rolled my eyes affectionately. “I’m never coming back on this show.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls. Also, you’re flying to LA two days before the Reunion for wardrobe triage. I’m not letting you go on live television in whatever sad piece of plaid you rustle up from the Pentagon City mall.”

“Why two days before?”

“Jesus, you animal,” she groaned as the van door shut. “Tailoring.”

41

2015

SEASON 20, EPISODE 10:

“The Book of Luke, Vol. 2”

Where’s Mr. Shawn?” Andie asked.

Troy eyed me from across the room. I wasn’t allowed to reveal Shawn was gone, but I had no clue what Barnes had already mentioned. “He’s busy, but he said to tell you hi.”

She shoved Wallace as he leaned on her. “Don’t do that to your brother,” I said.

“He always does this now,” she whined, and his head defiantly perched on her shoulder once again as proof. “Wally, stop! So did you win the Tribulation this week, Daddy?”

Again Troy raised an eyebrow. I never fathomed Zara would become my more lenient jailer. And I hadn’t won the previous day’s Tribulation, our last one before the final episode. It had been a memory puzzle involving bungee jumping, and I’d placed an unlucky third behind Erika and Fortune (and his damn photographic memory). Thus, by arbitraryEndeavordecree, Imogen, PB, Greta, Barnes, and I were all in the final Trial. Only three would advance alongside Erika and Fortune, and I refused to letBarnes be included. But I couldn’t discussthatwith our daughter. “Honey, let’s not talk about the game. Have you thought about where to go for your special birthday trip? We’re only a month away from your big day…”

“That’s not forforever,” she replied, slouching in her chair.

“Andie, come on, you’re too big to act like this.”

“Why can’t you and Baba talk to us together? These calls take twice as long now, and we either have to get up early, or I lose screen time at night—”

“Andie, we had this conversation,” Jenny warned off-screen.

“I’m tired of saying the same thing twice a day!”

“Then you don’t have to, Andie!” I snapped, my temper finally breaking.

She glared at me through the screen, looking so much like Barnes, so much like her father. I didn’t understand this sudden shift in her attitude. She’d been in a decent mood for weeks now, hadn’t she? Or had I just been too self-absorbed to pay close enough attention?

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Go watch TV, it’s okay,” I said, working to mean it but so jealous Barnes had gone first today. I tried not to dwell on her relief as she sprinted off, summoning a smile for Wallace while he listlessly described his new swim class.

“I wouldn’t take it personally,” Jenny said, bringing the laptop with her to the living room sofa after Wallace too had left. “They’re like this constantly right now.”

“I don’t find that encouraging.”

“Just stay focused. It’s almost over, and you’ll be home in a week. Though I can’t imagine the kids behaving like hobgoblins helps after what happened to that Vanessa girl.”