Page 109 of The Book of Luke

I coughed, summoning the words. “I’ll compete.”

“Good.” Her fingers retracted, throbbing like wasps in the air. “You fucking coward.”

With that, she marched to the house, Zara and the PA trailing like a caravan. I was merely wreckage in her wake, but Erika knew the truth now. Her brother hadn’t given up. She knew that he’d tried, swimming against the current to the surface, grazing it for a gasp of air before I shoved him back under.

I couldn’t face Imogen yet, hunching over as an encore of rain pattered across my windbreaker. I flinched when a hand grazed my back, Barnes’ metallic cologne blending with the fresh scent of the lawn. One glance at his face told me he’d heard everything. I braced myself for anger, for judgment, for all the feelings it was nowhisturn to wield. He instead silently sat beside me, his hand never leaving me as I crumbled into his lap. His forehead nestled into the matted mess of my hair, his breath shallow and warm against my neck.

If a camera captured us, it never made the broadcast edit. I can’t imagine it fit the story anyone wanted to tell, the moment when all my husband wanted was to hold me, the moment when I let him.

45

2015

SEASON 20, EPISODE 10:

“The Book of Luke, Vol. 2”

Imogen leaned against her headboard the next morning, eyes closed as I recounted the truth of Alaska even more clumsily than I had to Erika. I expected her to justly crucify me when her eyes opened. The last thing I thought she’d say was, “Thank you.”

“God, for what?”

“For telling Erika before me.”

“You’re… taking this rather calmly.”

“I think I always knew, deep down. I figured you and Arjun had been fooling around again, but that night was different. You were both so brutalized.” She sighed, hugging her knees. “I knewsomethingawful triggered you to do what you did, but after you threw the final for Barnes… I was so furious. It was simpler to think you’d outed Arjun for the same reason.”

“No, it was worse.”

“But it wasn’t some calculated act. Outing him was never your plan.”

“Imogen, I manipulated him. I broke him—”

“After he’d done the same thing to you. Luke, you were a kid in pain.”

“Don’t excuse it, I wasn’t a kid—”

“We all were. We were a bunch of kids who fucked things up, then ran so far in opposite directions that nobody stayed to pick up the pieces.” She leaned forward, taking my hand. “But if you think I’ll let you run away again, you’re wrong. We definitely aren’t kids now, and I’m fucking tired of being alone. You’re not losing me this time, Luke Griffin.”

I looked at her, the resolve burning in her face. “You’re my spine, you know that?”

“And you’re my heart,” she answered. “No matter how broken you think you are.”

I smiled sadly. “Maybe we should have left last night.”

“No, you were right to stay. Besides, you promised her now.”

Once Imogen agreed not to defend me to Erika, we walked to breakfast. I’d have my turn calling the kids afterward. En route to the kitchen, I noticed Zara in Greta’s old room, supervising crew members as they removed the wall cameras. She hadn’t acknowledged me since the night before, and I wasn’t expecting otherwise.

Imogen suddenly hesitated by the production office door, Barnes’ muffled voice inside. She brought me closer, mouthing, “Bastard said my name.”

“She had me on the rails in the last Trial,” Barnes said behind the door. “If anyone was going to beat me, it was her.”

“Really?” I heard Andie ask as I brought my ear closer.

“Honey, Imogen is the best competitor to ever play this game.”

Andie paused, ostensibly as shocked as we were. “But I saw an episode where you and Imogen…” I reached for the doorknob, but Imogen stopped me.