Page 21 of The Beast’s Duchess (Duchesses of Inconvenience #1)

Chapter Seventeen

D arkness seemed to push in on Veronica as she made her way through the cool forest. The last rays of the sun had surrendered to the crushing night and the moon.

A foreboding sound cut through the night and her heart began to pound.

Were those wolves?

She urged her horse to pick up the pace, glancing behind them heart pounding.

Her eyes widened. There was a river up ahead. It was big, but if they could jump it, she could get away from them and be safe.

The horse sailed through the air.

But mid jump, her grip faltered and she slipped from the saddle, plunging into the icy water below.

Her head cut through the surface as she gasped for air. The current carried her down and further from the horse, which bolted into the forest on the other side.

If she didn’t do something soon, she would be swept under again. The current tumbled her ruthlessly beneath the surface, then into a mass of rock and white water. She latched desperately onto the stone, fighting for a handhold. Thankfully a rock came along and she was able to latch on.

The water pounded around her, threatening to sweep her away any moment.

This would be so much easier if she could just swim.

Violet’s face flashed in her mind.

Not the bright face full of life she best loved to remember, but the cold, blue face of the body they had pulled her from the river that fateful day.

Then, a voice called out to her.

“Veronica!”

She looked to the shore to see Christopher diving into the river. He started making his way towards her but the current was making it difficult.

“Veronica, can you move somewhere easier for me to reach you?”

“Where?”

“Just a little closer to me.”

She moved to just that.

The second she tries, the current seizes her skirts, pulling her under once more.

Just before she falls beneath the surface, she hears Crhistopher call out to her once more.

The water pressed in on her, filling her lungs. She cough and sputtered as she struggled towards the surface.

Then a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her to the surface. The second her head broke the surface, she gasped for air. Veronica clung to Christopers as he swam them to shore.

“Are you alright?” he asked, setting her gently on the shore.

She looked up at him, but found herself unable to speak. She wanted to scream. To demand to know why he had done that.

Didn’t he understand she had already taken far too much from him?

“It seems like you are going into shock. It’s too cold for us to stay here much longer.” Christopher glanced around, but it was far too late, both their horses were long gone. “We can’t just stay here. We need to get somewhere warm and dry. Can you walk?”

Veronica still couldn’t find her voice, but she tried to push to her feet. Still, it was hard on her wobbly legs. It felt like every part of her was shaking.

She had hardly taken a single step when she felt herself start to fall.

But before she could hit the ground, Christopher caught her in his arms. “That’s alright. I probably can’t carry you all the way there, but if you lean on me, I can take some of your weight.”

“How far do we need to go?” she gasped, finally finding her voice.

He laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “Not very far. I’m just a bit tired myself from our little swim. I have to say, I am glad to hear you speak. I was worried for a moment there.”

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“You can say that when you stop shaking. Until then, I will continue to do just that.”

Veronica flushed, looking away.

Neither of them said another word as they made their way through the dark forest. The only saving grace was that Veronica no longer heard any wolves.

After what felt like hours, a small wooden cabin came into view. “What is this place?” she asked.

“Just a little hunting lodge my father had built some time ago. We used to come up here on weekends sometimes, and I’ve been known to stay here every now and then when I wanted some time away from Ashton castle. It isn’t much but it should have everything we need to get through the night.”

Veronica nodded, moving to lean against the wall as he moved to open the door.

Kneeling down, Christopher got a key out from under a river rock near the door before letting them both inside.

Christopher had been right. The place was small, only one room. There was a bed, a fire place, and not much else.

“I know it isn’t much, but I’ve got dry clothes inside, and I can get a fire going,” he said.

“It’s fine,” she said quietly, but her voice sounded wrong to her own ears.

“Here,” he said handing her a change of clothes. “They will be a bit big, but they’re dry and warm.”

“Thank you,” she took them then moved off to the side to get dressed while he got a fire going.

She reached back with her shaky hands but couldn’t seem to get the laces on her gown to cooperate.

She struggled for a few more moments before she had to admit defeat.

“Christoper,” she called, face flushing. “I, ah, I can’t get out of my gown.”

“What do you mean you can’t get out of it?”

“I can’t work the laces. My fingers won’t stop shaking.”

“Do you need me to help you?”

Her face darkened. “Unless you think I can get away with wearing the wet gown all night.”

“That probably would not be the best idea.”

“I thought as much,” she said, turning her back to him. “If you can just unlace it some, I can take it from there.”

“Alright,” Christopher said.

He came to stand behind her, hands hovering away from her laces. Her breath caught in her throat.

He was careful, never touching her skin. Instead he carefully pulled her laces until the back of the gown was open.

But even once he was done, he didn’t step away immediately, instead his hands lingered just a few moments longer than was strictly necessary. His throat flexed as he swallowed, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Finally, he stepped away with a sharp exhale. “There, you should be able to take it from there, but let me know if you need any more help.”

“I will. Thank you,” Veronica said.

She waited until he was back by the fire to finish changing. As she pulled on the shirt and pants she couldn’t help but flush. Even aside from the scandal of men’s clothing, there was something unexpectedly intimate about wearing Christoper’s clothes.

Once she was done, she came to sit near the fire. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“I’m going to go change as well. You go ahead and try to get warmed up.”

Veronica tried to keep her eyes on the fire and ignore the movement behind her. She focused on the warmth in front of her. Veronica hadn’t realized just how cold she had been until some heat started to work its way back into her body.

After that started, it felt almost impossible to pay much attention to anything else.

A few moments later, Christopher came to sit beside her. “How are you feeling now?”

“Cold,” was all she could say in response.

“I can imagine. I know I am still rather chilled myself.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For jumping in to save me. I never should have run away like that. I didn't mean to put you at risk like that.”

“I wasn’t just going to let you drown, but why did you do it?”

“I - I thought it would be better for both of us. I’m sorry.”

“Veronica,” he sighed. “If you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t have stopped you. I can have someone take you back to London tomorrow if that’s what you want, but these woods are dangerous. You should be out here.”

“I’m sorry,” tears welled in her eyes. “I know. I never should have run away. I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to keep hurting you.”

Christopher frowned. “I don’t understand. What do you mean? What have you ever done?”

The whole reason you got hurt in the fire was because of me. I took everything from you, your hands, your health, the life you were trying to build for yourself. You must hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could ever hate you, and you didn’t take anything from me. The fire did, and,” he paused for a moment, taking a shaky breath. “And my health is hardly the thing I was most upset about losing.”

“But then, what was?”

He looked at her, a tight expression on his face. “My dearest friend. I wasn’t able to get to him in time, and he- he didn’t make it out.”

“That was why you ran back inside.”

“Yes, it was, for all the good it did, but I was too late. He was already gone.”

“Oh, Christopher,” she hesitantly reached out for him, pressing a hand to his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m the one who should be sorry. I don’t deserve to be happy, not after I let him die.”

For a moment, Veronica just sat there as realization slowly dawned on her. “That’s why you’ve been so distant all those years.”

He looked away. “I thought you deserved to be happy, deserved someone better. I never had any intention of seeing you again after that night.”

“Then why come to the church that day?”

He looked away. “Because I’m selfish. I didn’t want anyone else to have you.”

She studied him for a moment before she spoke. “Have I ever told you about my sister?”

“I have met them, yes. Quite the pair. How you survived Milly’s childhood is beyond me.”

She lowered her head. “I have two living sisters. The third… never leaves me, no matter how I wish it. Milly is the youngest, Rose is the second youngest, I am the oldest, and Violet is the second oldest.”

“Violet?” he frowned. “No, I don’t think you have ever mentioned her before.”

“That honestly isn’t very surprising. I usually find her rather hard to talk about.”

“Why? What happened to her?”

Veronica drew in a shaky breath. “She drowned a few years ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She let out a shaky breath. “I was there when it happened. I tried to save her, but I couldn’t swim, so all I could do was run for help. I moved as fast as I could, but I just wasn’t fast enough. By the time we made it back to her, it was too late.”

Christopher didn’t say anything, he just looked at her eyes filled with sympathy and understanding.

“It was hard to move on, to feel like I was allowed to be happy after what happened, but I realized something.”

“What’s that?”

“That after a point, I was just being selfish, I was using her death as something to torment myself with rather than honoring her life. Violet wouldn’t want me to live my life alone and miserable, so I did what I could to push myself out of that.”

“It isn’t the same,” he shook his head. “You were doing your best. I wasn’t.”

“I don’t think your friend would see it that way.”

“You can’t know that. You never even met him.”

“Perhaps not, but I know that if he was your friend, he would want you to be happy.”

“I can’t. I have too much to make up for.”

She took his hands, moving so he was forced to meet her eyes. “It isn’t selfish to be happy.”

“You don’t think it was selfish the way I raced into the church that day?”

She shook her head. “Maybe some part of you wanted happiness without knowing where to look.”

He scoffed. “Would you be saying that if you had been about to marry someone you chose?”

“If I had, how do we know you would have acted the way you did? The simple fact was, that wasn’t the situation so it doesn’t matter.”

Christopher just shook his head. “It isn’t that simple.”

“Why now? It feels that simple to me, and it can be that simple to you if you just let it.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you want to try. That you think you can be happy with me.”

He looked away. “It has been so long, I don’t know if I remember how.”

“That’s all right. I can meet you where you are. I just need to know you want me there.”

Rather than say another word, instead, he leaned forward, bringing their lips together in a small, tentative kiss.

For a moment, Veronica was too stunned to respond, frozen in the moment.

Then he started to pull back.

She reached out, wrapping her arms around him to keep him there. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she hadn’t wanted him to kiss her, so she kissed back.

It was slow, cautious. Neither of them were entirely sure what they were doing and worried about scaring the other off.

Veronica’s heart pounded in her chest. Her hands moved uncertainly from his arms to his shoulders to his back, unsure where they were supposed to go.

Then he pulled back, eyes searching her face. “Was that all right?”

“Yes,” Veronica whispered. “I would say that was more than all right.”

Then he smiled, a small but dazzled curve of the lips. “I don’t know that I will be very good at it, but I am going to try.”