Page 7

7

Ryder

This reminded me of one of those “choose your own adventure” books I’d had when I’d been a kid. Too bad this wasn’t an adventure I wanted to be on, and every option got crappier than the last.

The real problem was that once I’d given in the first time, it had gotten easier to give in the second time, then the third time… It sort of felt hopeless and inevitable, as soul-sucking as that realization was.

I didn’t even know how long I’d been gone. It was long enough for my stomach to be carrying on a conversation with the empty space, and I grimaced. He was going to make me do something for food, too. I just knew it. He wasn’t done making me miserable, not by a long shot.

Now that I was clean, I didn’t have a problem cupping my hands in the water from the bowl and drinking. It wouldn’t stave off the hunger, at least not for long, but it would be something.

I went back to the dog bed and the blanket, and the bump in the heat had made the air warmer… but it hadn’t done much to counter the chill of the concrete walls and fl oor. I scooted the little bed away from the wall again, tying the thin blanket he’d first given me around my waist and half-lying on the thicker one.

Curling up in the little bed, I closed my eyes. I didn’t expect to fall asleep, but when I did, I dreamt of men with scarred faces and too-kind smiles.

I woke with my stomach growling, and the scent of something delicious in the air didn’t help that any. If anything, it got louder, and I shifted to try to get it to stop making so much noise.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, coming closer with a dog bowl.

I tried not to eye it, but I was practically salivating as it got closer and I could pick out the scent of chicken and… vegetables? Maybe. “What are you gonna make me do for the food?” I asked sourly, though my voice was rough from sleeping and it only made me sound childish instead.

“Nothing.”

I didn’t believe that for a second.

“There’s one catch,” he amended.

That sounded more like it. He wasn’t just going to offer out food without there being a price. I’d learned that by now.

“What?” I sat up in the bed, keeping the blanket wrapped around me even though he’d seen more than just my naked body earlier.

He’d seen my asshole, and he’d seen…

I shuddered, not wanting to think about what else he’d seen.

“You can eat your dinner, but you can’t use your hands.”

He was standing right at the edge of the cell, and my stomach growled louder. I wanted that food, and I wanted it in a bad way, but the idea of not using my hands was not a pleasant one.

“Whatever,” I muttered.

Pushing the bowl through a space in the cell bars that seemed to be designed for it — for fuck’s sake, what hadn’t he thought through? — he watched me thoughtfully.

I picked up a piece of chicken with my fingers, and he cleared his throat.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“I will spray you down with the hose and leave you in there like a soaked mutt if you use your hands one more time,” he told me, his voice entirely too pleasant for what he was threatening.

What the fuck even?

“So how am I supposed to eat?” I demanded, even though common sense dictated exactly what I had to do: get down on the ground and eat out of it.

His eyes bored into me, and I squirmed beneath the weight of his gaze.

“Okay, okay,” I muttered, slowly lowering myself to my knees.

The scents coming from the bowl were heavenly, but I couldn’t help but look at it in dread.

“You can do it,” he said.

I shot him a withering look. “Wanna come in and demonstrate?” I snapped.

He arched a brow, and I instantly shut up. I didn’t want to make this worse for myself. It was already bad enough as it was.

It wasn’t so hard at first, when I was just eating off the top of the bowl. I could do that easily enough. It was weird to chew and swallow while on all fours, but I was hungry enough to where I didn’t really give a shit.

But I was still starving by the time I started to reach the bottom of the bowl, and that was where things got messy. My nose kept running into the side, making it impossible to chase a bite of chicken and get it into my mouth.

I triumphantly grabbed a piece between my lips, only to have it fall when I tried to chew. I let out an irritated noise, getting frustrated, and I settled down a little more so I could hold the bowl between my forearms. I couldn’t use my hands, but my arms helped at least keep it in place.

It didn’t help a whole lot, not for the food that had been pushed up against the sides. My nose was covered in juices from the chicken and vegetables, and my mouth was smeared all over with them…

But I wanted those last few bites of food. I needed them. I didn’t know when he was going to feed me again.

Time and again I tried to go after a bite, only to have it move instead of letting me grab it between my teeth.

“People are not supposed to eat like this,” I snarled at him when I got tired of trying.

“Yes, well, you aren’t a ‘people,’” he said. “You’re a puppy.” A satisfied smirk settled onto his lips.

Right. He’d been watching that little bout of humiliation. I blushed.

“Puppies have trouble learning at first too. We can try mouthfuls of kibble next time if you want,” he dared me.

So help me, I didn’t know if he was serious or not.

“Real funny,” I muttered.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny. Come here.”

I stared at him, not wanting to go anywhere near him, but I realized he was holding out a cloth .

“I’ll clean your face,” he said, as though it was really that easy. Just go over there and let him wipe my face off?

It beat letting all this crap dry on my skin though…

Reluctantly, I scooted closer to the edge of the cage, and he reached through. I let him wipe my face clean even though it was utterly humiliating, then I turned just in time to bite his arm.

He obviously hadn’t been expecting it, and my teeth connected with flesh. With a harsh grunt, he pulled back before I could break the skin. He stared at me, shaking his head, then reached in to snatch out the food bowl.

“You’re going to regret that,” he snapped, glancing down at his arm. He’d have a bruise there, that was for sure, and he’d have to explain why he had human bite marks on him if he headed out.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I realized I was wrong. If he even did go out instead of just having anything delivered, he could always wear long sleeves. Even if he didn’t, someone might just assume he had a particularly kinky sex life.

No one had any reason at all to connect him to me. Why would they wonder about a random bite mark? He was a celebrity, even if they’d mostly written him off when he’d had his accident.

I couldn’t even remember his name — which mattered, because I wasn’t going to call him Master .

“I already regret everything that made me end up here,” I snarled back at him, even though my voice was quivering.

So maybe it had been a bad idea to bite him. I should’ve thought about that, but I’d been so desperate to do something to the bastard that I’d acted without thinking.

Then again, thinking hadn’t exactly yielded any great results either. I was still in this fucking cage, just waiting for him to decide which path on the fucked-up adventure I was going to follow.

I didn’t know how he was going to make me pay, but I could see the deadly look in his eyes. He looked terrifying when he was pissed off, and I realized I hadn’t seen him angry. He’d been so calm since I’d arrived, but now… The mask was off, and the interior matched the exterior.

What would the monster do next?

“You really don’t want to piss me off,” he warned, taking another step back.

“What, are you the Hulk or something?” I asked, feeling emboldened by his retreat. It didn’t make any sense for him to be backing away instead of getting closer, especially when he looked murderous.

He scowled. “Do you ever shut up? Do you ever think about what the fuck you’re saying?”

Well, no, not really, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “Does it matter?” I retorted. “You’re going to do things to me anyway. I can give in or I can fight, but it’s still gonna happen and—”

My voice caught in my throat as I acknowledged the harsh truth aloud.

He jerked his head in a nod. “Exactly. So don’t make it worse for yourself, puppy.”

“Not a fucking—”

The look he gave me cut me off mid-sentence. I burrowed deeper into the blanket even though it was starting to get too warm for it, ready for him to just leave me alone. There was some kind of punishment coming, though, and I doubted I was going to get out of it.

“I was going to wait until later for this,” he said, setting the food bowl down on the nearby shelf. “But I think you need the reminder. ”

Oh, fuck. Fuck, what was he going to do?

He pulled a thick strip of leather out of his pocket, and my heart plummeted to my stomach.

It was a collar.

He tossed it at me, and as it landed in front of me, I fought the urge to fling it into the drain. It was small enough to fit through the grates… and I wanted nothing to do with it.

That was before I noticed the glint of the small padlock in the palm of his hand.

“Put it on,” he told me.

“Why should I?” I asked, eyeing the collar instead of that lock. One thing at a time. One thing at a time…

He unlocked the little padlock in his hand, making sure I watched him.

“Because you won’t like the alternatives. Are you gonna make me spell them out to you? I’ve got plenty of ideas.”

I’m sure he did. The collar was bad news, though, and I wasn’t sure what I would consider worse than wearing the sign of his supposed ownership around my throat.

I shook my head stubbornly.

He set the padlock down on the shelf by the bowl, reached into the cage, and dumped the water out. Most of it ran for the drain, but some of it splashed up on me. I squeaked, not liking the idea of him taking the water bowl away, too. That was worse than him just restricting food.

He left the empty bowl there, which felt especially cruel. This time, he didn’t say anything before he turned for the stairs. He went for them, and I didn’t call out to him to ask him to stop. I was too afraid of what the price for refusing the collar was going to be…

That, and biting him. I couldn’t forget there would be consequences for that too. The fact that he hadn’t told me what they’d be only made it worse. I didn’t have time to prepare myself for anything… not that it would matter. I wouldn’t be able to do anything.

I flinched when the door settled into its frame after him, the sound of the lock clicking into place all too loud in the basement. I closed my eyes again. I didn’t want to think about this.

Instead, I tried to sleep.