Page 13

13

Ryder

It’ll be okay. You’ll see.

Those words haunted me, almost as though they were whispered in my ear at random intervals to keep me off balance. I had gained my footing a little bit, growing more confident in what was going to happen each day.

True to his word, he hadn’t wavered from his declaration that things would hold steady. I didn’t think that would last forever, but it was enough to make a sense of — false — security set in.

I knew that was what he wanted, but it got more and more exhausting to resist his gentle fingers in my hair or his hands running along my skin. I just endured it, knowing it would be over with soon enough, even if the ensuing whisper of “good boy” was almost as bad as the rest.

No. Worse.

Every day, I begged him not to make me put the nozzle of the enema’s tubing in my ass. Every day, I gave in. Every day, I begged him to let me take it out.

I should’ve just done it, defiant and uncaring of what he thought or felt. After all, I knew I was only going to yield anyway. It was a disconcerting thought — and not a pleasant one. It kept sneaking up on me when I least expected it, too, and it was there whether I wanted to admit to it or not.

I wasn’t sure how many days had passed, not really, but there had been five sets of enemas, so I had to figure it had been almost a week. That thought was insanity-inducing. Almost a week in this basement cell, where it was normal to curl up in a dog bed with a blanket that really needed a wash.

I wanted to sleep all the time, but the dreams were worse than the reality. And he was always there, always, whether I was awake or not.

I knew the man had been famous once, then he’d gotten into… some accident. I hadn’t followed the gossip rags, so I wasn’t sure entirely what had happened, but an ex-girlfriend had chattered about what a tragedy it had been. Hadn’t he saved someone’s life or something? Wasn’t that why he was burned so badly?

Great. The last thing I needed was to start feeling bad for him. I couldn’t think of him as a person. He was a beast in every way, and he wasn’t letting up no matter how much I rebelled or obeyed. He just… kept going until he got what he wanted, when I was too worn down to argue or fight or even cry.

As I’d obeyed more, the food had gotten better, but I still had to eat it without my hands. Those were all wrapped up unless he was having me humiliate myself in front of him, and I’d stopped fighting that, too. What was the point?

“It’s time for something new today.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hadn’t expected him there, and I’d been too lost in my thoughts to pay attention to his approach. The idea of something new just when I was getting used to the familiar was horrifying, and I shook my head. I didn’t argue, not wanting another few hours with the gag, but I wasn’t going to just…

Oh, fuck. Why did I even try to keep telling myself that? One week, and I was already a broken toy.

“It won’t be bad,” he said, like he was the one who was having to go through these things — like he knew what it was like!

“You try it and tell me how bad it is,” I muttered.

He ignored me, which wasn’t a surprise. “Do you want the water bowl back instead of the cock?” he asked me.

“What are you going to make me do for it?” I countered, knowing perfectly well that there would be a catch — one humiliation replaced by another, over and over again until there was nothing left of me.

He held up his hand, and I saw what was in it. There was a thick metal… thing, and attached to the end of it was a rubber thing.

A tail.

I burst out laughing, high and hysterical, shaking my head. “No, no, no. We’re not… No. Just no.”

“Yes. You are,” he told me firmly.

“I don’t want the water bowl that bad.” The thought of being able to drink out of a water bowl, after all, wasn’t that much better than sucking on a bottle shaped like a cock. It was better, but not worth the humiliation of having the plug up my ass.

“But I’m sure you’d like to have a chance to walk around a little,” he said, his voice deceptively mild. “You have to be tired of that little cell.”

“Of course I’m tired of it. If you let me go, I might even— ”

“Stop,” he said, sharp and cold. “We aren’t having that conversation. I’m not letting you go.”

I was going to get the gag again if I kept this up, but I wanted out. I wanted out so fucking bad.

“If you put the tail in, I’ll let you walk around down here for a little while,” he promised me.

“It’s going to be awfully uncomfortable walking around with that thing in my ass,” I retorted.

“I’m not telling you to crawl yet,” he shot back. “It won’t be that bad. This is a small plug, to get you used to wearing one.”

That thing was supposedly small? Oh, fuck no.

I shook my head stubbornly.

And here we were again, at the familiar impasse we so often got to. I would refuse to do something, and he would take something away until I gave in anyway.

Sometimes, I didn’t know why I bothered. Maybe the last remnants of my tattered pride wouldn’t let me.

Maybe I was just protesting out of habit.

“All right,” he said, setting the plug down on the nearby shelf, where he put all the things I had to look forward to.

I hated that fucking shelf with a passion.

“When you’re ready to switch that out for a water bowl and take a little bit of a walk around here, you know what you have to do.”

Bark. He wanted me to bark. Just like I had so many times — when I was hungry, when he wanted me to do something and I tried to refuse…

“Not good enough,” I told him, my voice a little hoarse. “I want to go outside.”

For a moment, he only stared at me.

“No.”

I’d expected the answer, but somehow it hurt anyway .

“When are you going to accept that you don’t call the shots around here? You might’ve been someone when you were out in the world, Ryder ,” fuck, he really did know my real name, which made him calling me Toby even more disconcerting, “but down here? You’re just my pet.” The words were ruthlessly delivered from an equally ruthless man.

I tensed, hating the fact that I was letting this get to me. I thought I’d done well, but then, it had only been a handful of days — maybe a week, maybe not. I wasn’t even sure anymore, and honestly, it didn’t matter that much. How could it, when it wasn’t going to change anything?

Wasn’t there some statistic about people going missing having the greatest chances of being found within the first 24 hours? 48? Well, I sure as fuck hadn’t been found in the first couple of days, which made my chances get lower and lower by the minute.

And I had to consider the idea that I might never be found.

“I’m never going to be just your pet ,” I told him, gathering all the courage I could and directing my words at him with as much as I could manage. “Even if you break me down, I’m going to be more than that.”

For a moment, I was pretty sure a smile flickered across his lips, but it was gone before I could figure out what it meant. Amused? Mocking?

Pleased?

I didn’t know. He’d been mostly… weirdly courteous to me. Apart from the whole making me humiliate myself in front of him over and over thing, he didn’t go out of his way to be cruel.

I could always feel his eyes on me when he was downstairs. Hell, I could feel his gaze on me even when he wasn’t, always aware of the fact that he was probably watching me through cameras. I knew he wanted to touch me. Our little exchange the other day had more than proven that.

But he barely did.

Why?

It was the first time I wondered it, because it was the first time I really gave a flying fuck. It wasn’t even that so much as I just… wondered what kind of man he had to be to do this to someone.

“You’re still going to submit,” he said, just as he had so many times before. “You’re going to be my good boy, Toby. I just know it. You’re already on the path. We just have to keep going.”

I didn’t want to keep going.

“Fine. I’ll wear the stupid plug,” I said. If I could get an idea of the layout of the basement, I might have more of a chance of eventually getting out and…

And what? Finding a weapon? Getting him to let me go? I doubted he had anything down here that could be used that way anyway, unless I could find something made of glass or cheap metal.

He didn’t seem like a cheap metal type of guy. Everything had been luxurious and well-made.

“But I want a better bed and a clean blanket,” I told him.

He considered me for a moment, and I could see the wheels turning in his head: was it too much of a demand to accept from me?

Would he do it? I couldn’t tell from his expression, but it was always hard to read with the way the scars distorted half of his face.

“You’ve been good,” he acknowledged.

Fucking finally.

“I’ll replace your bedding after you put the plug in. But if you take the plug out, I’ll take it back and you won’t have anything to sleep on but a sheet.”

He meant it, too. I could hear the conviction in his voice, and I loathed him for it.

“Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll wear it, like I said. You don’t have to make threats.”

Except for the fact that we both knew he did need to make threats. Otherwise I would try my damnedest to find a way around his rules, to try to find loopholes even though there might not have been any.

I offered my hands to him so he could unwrap them from the mitts, freeing them and making me feel more human than I had… except for the fact that the tail was going to reverse that.

He grabbed the bottle of lube we used every day for my enemas and slicked up the plug, putting a thankfully generous amount on it.

“Turn and raise up your ass so I can watch,” he ordered me.

I wanted to protest, but I had a feeling that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I muttered something unintelligible, something even I didn’t understand, but I knew better. Fighting him on this might seem satisfying for a little while, but it wouldn’t stay that way. It would just make things worse.

I gritted my teeth and took the plug gingerly from his hands, wanting to try to leave another — better — bite mark on his arm. I hoped the first one had caused him problems, even though they didn’t look like human tooth marks at all.

I leaned over, baring my ass to him, and I realized I had one tiny advantage. He wanted to look at me. He desperately needed it, just like he needed for me to yield to him. I was sure I wasn’t the first kidnapping victim to think they could manipulate their captor, but… Look at him. He was probably a brute through and through.

Slowly, I started to work the plug into my ass, wincing and glad he couldn’t see the pain written across my face. It took time, because I wasn’t going to hurt myself, but finally the thickest part of it was through. It seated itself, my ass damn near sucking it in, and I let out a quiet whimper.

The tail brushed my ass cheeks, and I shifted uncomfortably, standing all the way up and trying not to feel it. It meant shoving my ass out with little grace at all to keep the thing from touching me.

It didn’t work for long.

“Very nice, Toby,” he said, nodding in approval.

I wished there wasn’t a part of me that was relieved.