Page 21 of The Barbarian’s Claim (Not-So-Savage Barbarians #4)

Twenty-One

EINAR

M atthew had to be taken to a town for treatment. The wound was too deep for the healers to assist. They wrapped him up to keep him from bleeding out, but Zoya said he would not survive without a surgeon. Matthew needed more than what the clan could offer.

It was a journey to the closest town that would accept our presence.

Most would turn us away at the gates. There was one, however, that refused to close its doors to us.

The town leader’s daughter was bonded to a warrior in another clan, and he refused to cut her off completely.

He allowed trade between his town and her clan, and requests for aid.

Her clan leader agreed to bring us to the town so Matthew could be treated with the town leader’s daughter and her bondmate as our guides.

I had been to towns before, but not often.

It felt foreign to me, seeing the wooden structures the people lived in, stacked high and close together.

It was already lunchtime when we arrived, having journeyed hard most of the day to get here, and the streets were crowded with people who watched us curiously as we were guided through the town to a building where the surgeon resided.

He was waiting for us, round glasses perched on his nose and a serious expression on his face.

He was younger than I expected, but he seemed to know what he was doing and shooed us out of the room the moment Matthew was laid on the table.

I was reluctant to go, but our guides pulled me from the room, urging me to let the doctor work.

It took time, but eventually the doctor let me back in the room with Matthew once he was tended to.

He assured me that Matthew would be fine after rest and fluids, that he’d been incredibly lucky, but didn’t explain what he’d done.

I didn’t need to know. As long as he would be well, I would accept his words.

He would have a scar, though, and it hurt my heart to even think of it.

Despite the roughness of his upbringing, Matthew had remained unblemished.

His creamy skin was flawless. Had I been with my clan, I would have removed Orn’s head for daring to mark him.

Sitting beside Matthew, my chest felt tight with regret.

Had I let him try to find a bondmate outside our clan, he might not have been hurt.

I wanted to protect him, but I’d known before I claimed him that there were those in the clan who were unhappy with his presence.

That should have factored in when I made my choice.

But it wasn’t all about keeping him safe, was it?

I could pretend otherwise, but a part of me wanted him to stay for me.

I liked having him around, the quiet no longer lonely with him by my side.

After years alone, I had purpose in protecting him.

I wanted to do right by him. I should not have been so selfish.

A small whimper caught my attention, and my head whipped up.

Matthew’s brows furrowed and his fingers twitched.

Like the last time he was hurt, he only settled when I cupped his face, reassuring him that I was still there.

He leaned into my hand, letting out a breath, and his face smoothed once more.

I was prepared to stand there all day, to give him whatever he needed, but his eyes fluttered open a few moments later, his lids heavy with fatigue.

“Einar…” he murmured, reaching to press his hand against mine on his cheek.

“Matthew. How are you feeling?”

He shifted a little, grimacing from the pain.

When he swallowed a few times, I turned to reach for the cup the doctor had prepared for him, helping him sit up enough to drink it.

He nodded in thanks when he was done, and I set the cup back down, making sure he was comfortable before taking a step back.

“The doctor said you have to stay for a while so he could be sure you would not get an infection. Once you are well, I will take you wherever you wish.”

His brow furrowed, and his eyes opened again to look at me, confused. “W-what d-do you mean?”

The words felt like shards of glass in my throat, but I forced myself to speak them anyway. Matthew deserved better than what I had to offer him.

“Should you ask it of me, I will release you from our bond and let you go home. Or you can stay in this town, if you wish. They have been kind in allowing us to come here for your care. Or, if you’d prefer, you can find a new bondmate in another clan. Jakr said there were a few in his clan who?—”

Matthew sat up with a start, letting out a cry when it hurt him to do so. I reached for him, wanting to help, but he grabbed my hand before I could touch him, squeezing it tightly.

“I-I-I’m sorry I c-caused trouble with Orn! I-I-I’m sorry! P-please don’t s-send me away!”

Big tears filled his eyes, and I regretted my words while he was still recovering. I should have waited.

“You did nothing wrong, Matthew. But you have been hurt several times in my care. You deserve better. We can discuss it when you are better. You don’t have to choose now.”

“I choose you!” he cried, clinging tightly to my hand. Despite his upset, his words were clear without a tremble in them. It surprised me enough to stay silent, listening as he told me exactly what he needed.

“Y-you’re my b-bondmate! Y-you are more than I-I c-c-could have hoped for!” He shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I-I’ll d-do b-better. I p-promise. P-please, Einar…”

His words tore at my resolve, and I let myself be moved when he pulled me closer.

I sat on the edge of his bed, leaning until my forehead rested against his.

It pained me to see him so upset, to know I was the cause of it.

I thought I was doing right by him, protecting him from me. I did not mean to cause him more pain.

“Matthew…”

“P-please d-don’t go…” he pleaded. “I love you…”

Shock made me hesitate only for a moment before I leaned in to claim his lips.

We had never shared a kiss before. I had been too worried he would expect romance from me if we did.

I wanted to keep things simple to ensure he didn’t get confused about how our bonding would be.

But when he was nearly taken from me, I regretted being so cold.

I thought I would never get a chance to share the experience with him. I should have done this sooner.

Like in all he did, Matthew threw himself into the kiss, giving it his all. He held me close with a tight grip on my tunic, keeping our lips pressed together. Only when he reached to put his arms around my neck and overstretched did he stop, whimpering as he curled in on himself.

“I’m sorry,” I gritted out, urging him to lay back down. “You are injured. You should rest.”

He shook his head rapidly, still clinging to my tunic. “I-I-I–”

Shushing him lightly, I gave him a chaste kiss. “I will go nowhere, kolrav. Wherever you wish me to be, that is where I will stay.”

It took some urging to get him to lie down again, and he only did so once he was sure I wouldn’t go anywhere.

I stayed beside him, wishing there was something I could do to reassure him, but uncertain as to how.

If I wished to treat him as he deserved, I would need to get over my resistance to socializing with my clan and ask for help.

Matthew deserved better than what I had given him thus far.

It took a little over a week before the doctor released Matthew to return to the clan.

He didn’t want Matthew to ride on my stallion until the stitches were removed.

Matthew wasn’t pleased with the delay and asked more than once for me to bring him home, but I did my best to keep him calm and comfortable—even though I was in full agreement with him.

Home was better. The food alone would chase me from the towns. It was disgusting.

“You were brought here in a carriage. I don’t understand why you cannot return the same way,” the surgeon complained as he checked Matthew’s injury once more.

“The carriage was from the Ilvos clan. We are not returning there,” I grumbled for the third time. I wondered if the surgeon was hard of hearing because he kept making me repeat myself.

“So why not borrow it and return it later?” he demanded.

Rolling my eyes, I returned to tying my weapons to my belt. He said it was safe for Matthew to ride with me. I wanted him to do so. As the clan journeyed during the warmer months, it would be where he belonged. I wanted to experience it with him.

Matthew had been forced to answer questions for the doctor to treat him, but he was still uncomfortable doing so. He chose to stay quiet, tucking his tunic in after the doctor was finished.

With an exasperated sigh, the doctor gave up, tossing his hands in the air. “Fine. But take it slow. If you experience any pain, stop and take a break. The barbarians are supposed to be self-sufficient, right? So there’s no rush to get back.”

“We will do this,” I agreed with a nod. “You are right. We are in no rush.”

The weather would turn soon, but I could usually tell when the snows would come, and we had some time before that still. We could take our time for Matthew’s sake.

Narrowing his eyes, the doctor studied me, then nodded once, finally accepting my words. He touched Matthew’s shoulder, his eyebrows lifted to stress his point. “Okay. If you have any problems, come back here. Or send for me. It would be safer for me to make the journey than you.”

Matthew nodded quickly, reaching out to fist my tunic like he always did when he was overwhelmed. “Th-thank y-you,” he stammered.

The doctor’s face finally softened, and he smiled at Matthew. “You’re very welcome.”

He led us outside, where my stallion waited.

Tyaell was temperamental at times, and Godr complained that he would bite if the other stallions got too close to him, but he was well behaved with me.

The horsemaster said we were a match made by the gods since our personalities were much the same.

And much like me, Tyaell softened for Matthew.

After giving him a cursory sniff, he lowered his head to allow Matthew more ease should he wish to climb upon his back.

I wouldn’t allow it, not until he was fully healed, but I saw the gesture for what it was and patted Tyaell’s neck in thanks while the doctor said some parting words to Matthew.

I didn’t hear all of it, since the doctor leaned to whisper at one point, but I cared very little.

My mind was only on bringing my bondmate home so he could rest where he was most comfortable.

Lifting Matthew onto Tyaell’s back, I was quick to join him, tucking him against my chest so he could lean against me and rest. He was a little nervous, having never ridden on a stallion before, aside from his trip to the clan, but he trusted me to protect him and didn’t protest. He waved to the doctor before I steered Tyaell back toward the town gate at an easy pace.

“H-how long w-will it take t-to get home?” Matthew asked as we left through the main gate.

“It depends on how fast we are moving. Since I promised to go slow, it will take longer. It is safer than the forest, though. There are more fields between us than trees.”

“I-I l-liked the f-forest,” he replied quietly.

My lips twitched against a smile. He leaned his head against my shoulder, sinking further into my arms. He was still tired from his recovery, so I encouraged him to sleep. We had a long journey ahead of us, and he needed to rest as much as he could.