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Aurora

There are millions of ways to break a heart. Some are dealt by the cold hands of nature. Some are by gods and forces beyond our control, destiny, as some may call it. But the worst of all are the ones dealt to us by the people who are supposed to keep our hearts safe.The ones we voluntarily handed the very core of being to, trusting that they'll take care of them. The pain cuts deeper than any blade, slashing through parts of you you never knew existed, and most of this pain is credited to the fact that we unwittingly contributed to this suffering. We opened ourselves to them, and now all that is left is pain, emptiness, a truckload of questions, and bruised self-worth.She's a charity case my father adopted to keep from going rogue. Why would you think a person like that would be fated to me?"

The words reverberate in my head like a broken record, each turn cutting deeper than the previous as I willed my legs to go faster. I chewed on my lower lips, desperately trying to hold in the trembles till I got home. I will not fall apart in the pack house. I will not crack open for all to catch a glimpse of what is inside me.

With every long stride I take away from Lucien's room, the burning in my chest intensifies. A part of me wants to march back into his room and demand for him to repeat the words to my face, while the more vulnerable part of me wants to ask if he meant them.I had come to check on him and find out if he was back from the palace. I know the meeting with the queen was his first royal outing, and I also know how overbearing the current alpha can be. I wanted to make sure he was okay. I even made a basket of his favorite food and pastries using his mother's old recipe book that I borrowed the last time I visited to make everything as comforting as it could be, and I arrived at the door to meet the proverbial slap in the face.At first, I was in denial and tried to convince myself that Liam's distinctive voice was talking about his sister and someone who happens to share Lucien's name. It had to be. I would've known if Selene and Lucien were exes. Lucien wouldn't keep a thing like that from me. But Lucien spoke, and every bit of me came to a screeching halt.My heart slowed, my pulse came slow and hard, and my breath was reduced to shallow puffs, my vision blurring with the reactions unfolding inside me. Sweat covered my palms, and the picnic basket I forgot I was holding slid out, crashing on the floor with a loud thud and jolting me back to the present. Not willing to be found lurking around and eavesdropping, I panicked and took to my heels without a second thought.

I make a quick turn at the end of the corridor, choosing to exit through the old garage instead of the kitchen and front entrance. The fewer people that see me, the better. Just as I round the corner, I slam into a solid wall of muscle and lose my footing. I shut my eyes, mentally bracing myself for the crash that never came. I crack my eyes open to find myself suspended mid-air and the cold, hard grey eyes of Alpha William peering deep into my soul.

"You should be more careful," he says, pulling me to my feet. I can't say if he is scolding me or showing concern, so I settle for a nod while l fight to get my heart to slow down.He wasn't using his alpha dominance on me, but I still feel heavily intimidated by him. Alpha William is easily the scariest man I know. At the age of fifty-eight, he stood tall with a head full of grey hair covering every part of his scalp, down to the upper part of his nape, and extending to form a full thick beard. He looked like a white lion with every bit of regal confidence.

"Are you okay?" He raises a brow at me. "You look a bit flushed, and your eyes are quite red. Have you been crying?"I don't know what to make of his sudden interest and concern. He never checked on me after the pack adopted me to keep me from going rogue after my parent's death. The sudden interest is alien to me, and given the current situation, it is hardly ideal.

"I'm fine, Alpha. It's just allergies."He regards me for a second, not masking his disbelief. "In that case, you're just the person I have been searching for."

My brows knit together in confusion. Why is he searching for me? A strange feeling gnaws at my gut, urging me to make up an excuse and leave his presence, but I seem to be glued to the floor beneath me. "You're struggling with allergies too?" I blurt out, not knowing what to say.He turns in the direction of the central exit, "Walk with me." My feet begin to move before the rest of me catches on."I won't call it an allergy, and I'm not the patient, but someone dear to me happens to have been afflicted by something close to that." He rounds the corner, stepping into the open dining area, and immediately channels every pair of eyeballs in our direction. The combination of him and me must surely stick out like a sore thumb."Almost the same as getting your water contaminated, but due to the contamination, you cannot tell you're taking contaminated water, but that doesn't make the water less contaminated." I have no idea what to say or if I am required to say anything, so I follow him closely, wondering what any of this has to do with me."Mind you. This contamination is such that it spreads through the blood, infects the DNA, and greatly reduces its viability." He stops abruptly. "So, tell me, if someone dear to you is in danger of ruining their future, would you save them?"I don't think before saying "Yes." It's the obvious answer. I would never stand and watch someone I care for suffer.

"So, you'll do whatever it takes to free them from said contamination?"

I open my mouth to say yes when an unmistakable glint passing through his eyes stops me. "I don't understand what you're asking me, Alpha," I say instead, unease washing over me like a shower of cold water."You're a clever girl, Aurora. I've watched you grow, and I've gotten multiple reports on your performance, and with the way you looked like you were falling apart a few minutes ago, I gathered it shouldn't be hard for you to put two and two together."For the first time, I didn't drop my gaze when his eyes met mine. I held them, the meaning behind his words spelled out in clear English for me. Lucien is the loved one. I am the contamination. He doesn't let me recover from the shock of his first admission before continuing."I know you two have shared a very close friendship, but if you care about him as much as I think, you'll understand his path is very different from yours. He needs certain…" he waves his hand around like he is trying to find the right word to use "qualities, ones that cannot be taught, only acquired from birth. Do you understand?"

I stand frozen. My throat is suddenly too tight to produce a sound, and my tongue slacks in my mouth. My skin prickles with awareness, and goosebumps left by the chill spreads through me. I can't speak. I can't move. I only stare. Do I understand?When I don't say anything, he continues. "I understand that you've wasted a few good years on him, so I'll compensate you for them." His voice takes a less friendly tone. "I'll write a fat check, and you can leave the pack for a while without being considered a rogue. Travel anywhere you want. Clear your head. After a few years, you can decide to come back or continue having the time of your life."

"You're paying me off Lucien's life?" Every time I think the man has rendered me speechless, he opens his mouth, and somehow, he cuts me deeper. Travel anywhere you want. Clear your head. That has to be the most articulated 'disappear from my son's life, and I'll pay you in exchange' in the history of the universe. It was a clear warning, but he managed to make it look like a suggestion and like I had a choice.

He let out a low chuckle. "When you put it like that, it has a bad ring to it. Consider this a favor from an alpha who cares about your wasted years. Think about it, and I'll have the check delivered to you at dusk."Without another word, he turns to take his leave, but I find my voice before he gets far. "I don't need your money," I say, surprising myself. "You can bring all the money in the world, and I won't touch it with a pitchfork. I don't put a price on the people I care about. But thanks for looking out for me."He looks momentarily stunned by my outburst, but he doesn't say a word. He turns and continues down the hallway.I suck in a shaky breath, scanning the hallway to make sure no one witnessed my shame before taking to my heels and practically racing the entire way home.I don't know how long I spent wrapped in my sheets, but by the time my doorbell rang, it was seven p.m., the regular meeting time for Lucien and me. I drag myself out of bed, feeling the weight of my bleeding heart weighing heavily on my bones.

I haven't done anything since I left the pack house. I couldn't cry. I couldn't scream. I had tucked myself in, buried under the weight of my blanket, and replayed the events of the day, dissecting them into a million pieces, trying to find a different twist to them and failing. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't over, not when I'd not heard from Lucien. But a part of me knew the outcome wouldn't be any different from what I already knew in my heart.

Regardless, there was another part of me that hoped. A little part that held on to the bond I shared with Lucien and refused to let go. Surely, if the Moon Goddess paired us, there has to be a way for us to work things out. It sounds stupid in light of recent events, but I can't help it. Everything hurts so bad. A gut-wrenching combination of my pain and that of my wolf leaves me hanging by a thread. I desperately need this to be some bad dream.Lucien is standing on the other side of the door when I look through the peephole. He looks just like he always does, calm with his hair effortlessly styled to perfection and nothing like the train wreck I currently share a resemblance with. He probably has no idea that I overheard his conversation with him and Liam.

"Hey, baby," he smiles as soon as I unbolt the door, placing a quick kiss on my forehead. I am both comforted and pissed at the action. Is he really going to walk in here and pretend his conversation with Liam never happened? At the same time, I find myself hoping the kiss means I misheard something or the whole thing was just one big prank. It is the less hurtful narrative, but I am not stupid, and I don't exactly see Alpha William having the time for a prank."Did you come by the pack house today?" He follows closely behind me. "I can swear I saw someone like you, but I wasn't so sure." I can sense his effort to make his tone light and playful, but his eyes betray him. They were almost the same color as his father's but lacked the characteristic chill and darkness.

"I came around," I answer, not giving anything away. I have so many questions, but I hold back. I need to know what he thinks before saying anything.

He stills, his eyes searching mine for a hint of something. "Did you leave a picnic basket in front of my door?""Yes." I move to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water, needing something to distract me from the choking tension in the room.

"Oh. Why didn't you come in?""I didn't want to interrupt your conversation. You were pretty passionate about the topic," I bite out, feeling my patience slip. Anger is slowly replacing the hurt I was feeling. "Oh…About that," he trails off, his eyes not meeting mine. "I was hoping to have had the time to enlighten you on the situation myself. It wasn't my intention for you to find out in that manner."A ringing noise explodes somewhere in my head, and I whip my head in his direction with so much speed that I am instantly nauseous. He stands in front of me, the picture of complete calm and serenity, speaking to me like he was casually addressing the pack. "I overheard you engaged in a conversation about your marriage, and this is all you have to say?" I am livid with anger. It's all I can do to keep myself from shaking him and demanding answers. I definitely won't be able to shake his 6' 4" frame of muscle, but it would give me somewhere to channel my emotions.He regards me quietly before sitting on the sofa and patting the spot next to him. "How about you take a seat? Calm down a little, and we can talk about this. I promise it's not as bad as it looks, and you're probably misunderstanding things. I'm still yours and definitely not going anywhere."My brows furrow, and I try to make sense of his words and the conversation I heard earlier. "So, you're not getting married to Selene?" I don't wait for an answer before firing the next question. "And you didn't deny me being your fated mate in front of Liam?" I am done playing whatever game he has rolling and demanding straight answers. He can save the word twists and level-headed conversation for one of his board meetings.His posture shifts from relaxed to tense, and he takes a defensive stance. "That is completely different. We agreed to keep our bond secret till the time was right."

"No, Lucien. That was not what happened. You wanted to keep us secret. I merely agreed with you, and you totally skipped the first question. Are you getting married?" My voice trembles, betraying my emotions.

Lucien's eyes soften, and he gets off the sofa, walks to me, and takes my hand in his. "It's not that simple, Rora. That's why I asked you to sit so we could talk about it. It's really not much of a big deal when you look at it from a different perspective. I'm certain you'll come to see it's probably for the best and still works in our favor."

It's not that simple. It's not much of a big deal. It's probably for the best. Three words that have no business being put in the same sentence swim in my head, intensifying both my anger and confusion. I try to make sense of what he is saying. There's absolutely no way he implied that the situation is not so simple and goes on to say it works in our favor in one breath.Pain slams into me like a moving train, wrecking every part of me. This is different from what I felt when I heard his conversation with Liam or the hurt from his father offering me money. This is raw, unfiltered, and unbridled. This is him talking to me. "Make it simple, Lucien. What is in the cards for us?"He draws in a deep breath, his hand falling from my cheek. Distance. It was the first sign of betrayal. They break physical distance before dealing you the last blow. Despite my heart desperately clinging to the hopes of a different answer and the hurt of my wolf seeping into me, I brace myself for impact.

"A war is coming, Rora," he starts, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. "My father is too old to head the battle, and his smoking habit has taken a toll on his health. So, he intends to make me alpha soon."

He is finally going to be alpha. It was the moment we've been waiting for. It was the moment that was to birth a new beginning for our relationship. But this feels nothing like the beginning I have been anticipating.I nod, urging him to continue."To certify our victory, we need to make alliances that'll give us an edge over Silver Pack, and my marriage to Selene would secure that."

His words cut like a blunt knife, but I probe further, wanting to get to the root of things. "Did you tell your father I am your fated mate?""I did. But you know my position. My parents were not even fated. Fate is rarely considered when choosing a Luna in our pack. It's more about who is suitable, possesses the required attributes, and can contribute to the strength of the pack."

"And I do not possess these qualities," I finished off, my voice low and dripping with pain. I had already got an earful from his father.

If hearts could actually break, mine would be scattered on the floor in a pool of blood, battered into pieces for all to see.

Not too long ago, I was told my degree and academic performance meant nothing to the pack, and now, I'm being told I wasn't enough for the person the Moon Goddess picked out for me. I gave up every piece of my life to be told I wasn't enough."Aurora," Lucien takes a step closer, and I take one back, not willing to have him close to me."This doesn't change anything, you know."I look at him with raised brows, confusion etched on my face. "You're getting married, Luc. This changes everything."He swallows the space between us in one step, cradling my face in his hands. "No, baby. It only changes things if we let it."

"What do you mean?" I'm not ashamed to admit I am almost begging at this point, pleading for him to come up with something. Heck, I wouldn't mind if he asked that we elope. I would follow him without a second thought. Anything to soothe this burning ache in my chest."Selene and I are not in love and will be only married on paper for the good of the pack, but you'll always have me. I'll make sure you have the best life. Everything you need will be provided, and you'll never want for the rest of your life. I swear it. We don't have to let this come between us."

I'm frozen on the spot, staring at him like I have just seen a ghost, while he maintains his calm exterior like he didn't just ask me to live the rest of my life like a skeleton in his gold-encrusted wardrobe.Realization slowly seeps through the fog of pain, clouding my senses, bringing with it a clarity I have never possessed. At no point in his statement did he leave room for me to give an answer. No question was asked. No request was made—nothing. He said it with the same tone you'd tell a chef to bring your food, and it was the most natural thing and required little to no effort on his part to convince me. He is certain I'll take the offer, and like any good chef, I'll come through with exactly what he needs.No bargains, no negotiations. Just him telling me what is best for us and knowing I'll accept it like I've done in the past.

A wishful part of me wants to fight against the truth in front of me. I want to believe I heard him wrong. Even more, I want to believe that I got the wrong message from him and that the way I am feeling is the result of miscommunication and not him dismissing my emotions like a minor inconvenience. But with one look at his perfectly sculpted face and piercing blue eyes, I know he meant every word he said, and even worse, he stands by them.

"You want me to be your mistress," I finally say, removing myself from his orbit. "You want me to be your mistress, Lucien?"

I let out a humorless laugh, completely in awe at the universe's sense of humor. Lucien looks worried and tries to take a step closer, but I stop him with a look."You sound like you have it all figured out."

"Aurora—"I lift a finger, cutting him short. "Was this always the plan? Fill me up with promises of a future together and toss me to the side with even more promises.""Aurora, you're getting it all wrong. If you would just calm down and be less emotional and more sensible, you'll see that this is best for us. We get to have each other without having expectations hanging on our shoulders. We'll be each other's safe space away from the pressure of the rules we will be forced to play. It will be heaven.""Woah." It's the only sound I can muster as I watch him. His calm exterior finally breaks and a mix of frustration and desperation spills through the cracks, but it disappears at the same speed it appeared, restoring the sterile calm."Say you'll think about it, at least. I didn't plan for this conversation to go this way.""Of course you didn't." My voice grows louder, but I'm too angry to care. I spent three years of my life clinging to his every word, changing plans and tailoring my future to fit into his, only to be reduced to the position of a whore on the side."Let me guess, you expected me to throw a little tantrum, but when you present your perfect plan, I will calm down and go along with it like a good girl, and you will win both sides? Or wait, I have something even better. I pledge myself eternally to you as your perfect heaven on the side, and you go on to live the best life with your wife while I watch from the sidelines, grappling for whatever scraps you throw at me. Is that really the life you want for me?"

My eyes are blazing, and my vision is blurred by both tears and rage. He averts his gaze, sealing them to the floor. He gives no reply, and he does not look at me. I got my answer.

"Three years, Lucien. Three years of completely devoting my life to you and hanging on to your promises, and you offer me the position of your private whore."

He opens his mouth to talk, but I don't let him. "It's been a funny couple of days, you know," a dry chuckle escapes my lips as the events trickle into my brain. "Tell me, is it all part of the plan? Get me humiliated in the company before sending Daddy to slap a check in my face? You didn't have the balls to do it yourself, so you had to devise other means?"

"Aurora…" he opens his mouth and closes it, worrying lines marking his confused expression. "I had no hand in what happened at the company, and," he pauses like the meaning behind my words just hit him. "My father offered you what?"If this were a few hours back, I would've fallen for his confused and lost expression, dismissed everything I'd heard, and clung to his words. But now, I know better. He just made me the same offer. He is just like them. Scratch that. He is worse.

"You know, when I applied for the position of the assistant finance officer and got offered the role of a janitor, it hurt like hell, but I was ready to take the pain if that is what it takes to be with you, and when your father promised me the most lavish lifestyle if I leave the pack, it hurt more, but even after hearing your conversation with Liam, I couldn't bring myself to trade you for money. It might be stupid, but a part of me hoped you'd come through with the perfect explanation. I trusted you, Luc. Down to the very end when I had no reason to." I feel a wet tickle on my cheeks, but I make no attempt to swipe it off or hide it. I am done putting up a strong front when I am practically falling apart on the inside."At least your father was decent enough to know that being in close range would hurt me and offered me a life outside the pack, but you," the words catch in my throat, and a pained sob slips from my lips. "You ask me to stay on the side like some dirty piece of trash and tend to the fire in your loins while you live your dream life with another woman."

Lucien opens his mouth and closes it again, his shoulders low and his eyes shining with something I refuse to acknowledge. He tries to come close again, but I shake my head, taking a step back. "Aurora, you're taking this the wrong way," he finally manages to say. "I think this all took a different turn. I'm sure we can fix it if we slow down a bit."

"I'm taking this the wrong way?" I do nothing to mask the disbelief I feel at his words. "You broke a promise you made to me, reduced me to a charity case before your friend, and I am taking it the wrong way?" He doesn't answer, and I shake my head. Now that I think of it, I've never seen a line of wrinkles on his face. He always looks so sure of himself, like he has cracked some secret code to life that only he knows. I used to mistake it for confidence, but now I see it for what it truly is. It's present in the way he carries himself around and the way he is currently looking at me like I am acting out of place. The high and mighty air of "I am better than you. I am better than everyone else, and I know what is best" swirls around him, mocking me and my emotions.

A pained smile plays on my lips as the final realization settles into me, taking with it every shred of hope I have been nursing. I can go on and on for years, cry a river and rip my heart open for him to see, and he'll still find a way to shove whatever he thinks is right down my throat. No regard for me or my breaking heart, just him and what serves him. "I deserve more than what you and everyone in this pack keep shoving down my throat."

Lucien's eyes briefly widen as if he is only just understanding the implications of his words, but that does nothing to make me feel better. He is who he is, and the interest of the pack and everyone else will always come before me.

Without another word, I race out of my house, feeling the bond between us weaken with every bit of distance I put between us. I don't look back. Instead, I forge ahead, channeling every bit of energy in me into pushing my body past its limit. Maybe if I run far enough, I might outrun whatever effect our bond has on me and possibly escape the clutches of the soul-numbing pain spreading through me.My muscles start to rage, my lungs are burning, and I'm damn well wheezing, but I still can't shift. I try, but my wolf only retreats into herself, the pain of it all too much for her to bear. I am left to deal with the human side of me, another reminder of how weak and inadequate I am—a disease, as Alpha Willams said. The universe really does have a way of laughing in your face and pouring salt into your injury till the very core of your existence is reduced to a mindless search for relief.Eventually, my legs give out, and I fall into a damp heap of rotting leaves and fallen branches. A loud cry forces its way out of my lips, scaring the birds and sending the squirrels running to safety. I remain there for a moment, straining my ears for a footstep or sign of life, but I'm blanketed by the deafening silence of the woods.

Lucien does not come after me. No one does. Then it dawns on me that I could die in these woods, be food for some predator, and no one would notice my absence. A vast majority of my existence was tied to Lucien and the role I was to play in his life, and with that gone, I am nothing. Just an orphan half-blood with a broken heart and scars to show for her pathetic existence. Where should I go?