Page 21

Lucien

The scent of vanilla and lingering traces of Aurora's perfume cling to the air as I sit behind my desk, fingers pressed against my temple.

Selene is seated across from me, her eyes scanning the map in front of her and making out territories that've been attacked by Silver Pack and weak spots."These bastards are making more progress than we think. They're taking over every little pack in their path and using their warriors to boost their numbers. We have to do something quickly."

"We're working on it," I reply, watching carefully as her eyes light up with rage.

"Working on it? At this point, I expect us to be executing, not working."My lips curl. "This is why you're not a warrior." I lean back into my chair, supporting my arms with the armrest. "Silver Pack is cunning and no doubt calculated. They're aware of the damage they've done, and right now, they're waiting for us to get emotional and make an uncalculated move."

"And you're not emotional about this? Need I remind you that you lost—"

"I'm well aware of what we've both lost to Silver Pack, Selene, but emotions don't make great war strategies. We're going to hit them once, and we're going for the jugular, but we won't be successful if we lead with anger."

She takes in a steadying breath, and her clenched fist on the table loosens. "So, what's the plan?""Liam and I are working on something, and we'll let you know as soon."

"I don't want you to let me know," she cuts. "I want to be a part of every step you make."

"Selene," I lower my voice, sending a pointed look at her abdomen. "That is hardly ideal for your situation."

Her pregnancy is only a few weeks old and has not started showing, but that doesn't mean her pup cannot be harmed.She scoffs. "This is exactly why I need it to happen soon. I need to rip off the head of my mate's murderer before this pregnancy starts to show and weakens me." Her voice drops to a defensive whisper. "I need to avenge his death. I need to look at my baby and let him know his father didn't die for nothing."

I nod in understanding. I can't imagine being asked to calm down should anything happen to Rora. I'd unleash hell on those responsible, and it would be carnage wherever I went.

Her eyes scan my features, resting briefly on my legs before coming back up. "You're not fully recovered, are you?"

"Selene—" my tone is low and with a very clear warning that seems to fly over her head.

"Dammit, Lucien, you can't lead a war like this.""Noted," I mutter, leaning back in my chair. My body still aches. The slow healing a constant reminder of what I've lost—what I gave up the night Aurora walked away.

Selene exhales, resting a hand on her stomach in an unconscious motion. "You should ask her," Selene says, watching me with measured patience. "You know as well as I do that restoring the mate bond would bring your wolf back."

I clench my jaw. "And what? Force her into something she doesn't want?"

"She's your mate, Lucien."

"She was my mate," I corrected bitterly. "I lost that right a long time ago."

Selene sighed, rubbing at her temple. "Yes, but now you need to regain it."

"I don't think my wolf went away because Selene left. He is punishing me for the way I treated her, and forcing the bond back won't cause him to return."

"Ain't you the noblest man in Blackwood," Selene teases, the corners of her lips slightly dipping before her expression gets serious. "I know you want this to work out between the both of you, but this isn't just about you. Your pack needs you. Your people need their alpha. They need to draw strength from their faith in you.""That's rich coming from a pack that challenged my position."She let out a soft sigh. "They love you, Lucien. They're just scared."

Her words carry a hint of vulnerability in them, and as I watch her return to rubbing her belly, I can tell it's the mother in her speaking."You'll make a wonderful mother, Selene." She tries to hide it, but the constant belly rubs are a sign of nervousness. She's scared about the future.

Things might not have worked out between us, but over the years, we've come to develop mutual respect for each other. If a word of affirmation is what she needs to get by, I'll be glad to offer one.

Her eyes jump to my face, and her hand hovers over her belly. "I hope I do."

"I know you will."

"I really hope I do." She let out an uneasy laugh. "While I'm glad I was blessed to keep a part of him, I can't help the idea that I might get this wrong. I've never been a mother before, and it might sound crazy, but I get scared sometimes."

The confession is definitely not one I saw coming, but it got me thinking about Aurora. If Selene, with all the love and support she has, can be scared of doing this alone, how scared was Aurora when she found out she was pregnant?

How scared was she to realize she was going to have to do this on her own, alone and with no support whatsoever? Not even from the person who got her pregnant. I drag a fist through my hair, tugging harshly at the strands to give my pain somewhere to focus. I failed her.

And while I remain grateful to her for keeping our son and fighting her way through all of it, I hate myself for not being there. I missed out on the crucial parts of my son's life because I was stupid.

I'm certain there's a catalog somewhere in her house with endless pictures of the memories they've built together and all of Ronan's milestones. His first step, his first day at school, and every important event, and I'm not on any page of it.

As if summoned by my thoughts, the door creaks open, and the atmosphere shifts from light to heavy and intense. Aurora.

She stood awkwardly at the door, offering a small greeting to Selene and me.

Selene takes her presence as her clue to leave, rising gracefully from the chair and offering Aurora a smile and a soft pat on her way out.

"Come on in," I say, ushering her into my office.

"It's a nice space," she says as her eyes soak in the woody interior. I hate that my space is still foreign to her and that she has to hover around me, but I can't help it. She'll need some time.

"Thank you," I reply, gently observing her. This is the first time she has sought me out during her stay here, and I don't know what to make out of it.

"She was here for pack business. War strategies and all, nothing personal." I find myself filling her in on the situation without being asked.

I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous, but I guess it's the fragile nature of our relationship. I wouldn't want her to misunderstand anything.

Aurora's lips quirk, and her eyes finally bounce from observing my office to my face. "I know. I overheard your conversation. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything," she hurriedly adds, a pink tinge dusting her cheeks.

"It's alright. I wouldn't mind if you did. You are right to have your questions and suspicions."

She takes a moment, almost as if she is thinking of her next words. "She is right, you know." She takes a step further into the office. "The duty with your wolf needs to be fixed."

"Aurora—"

"Yes, Lucien. The situation demands it."

"I don't give a fuck if the situation demands it or if the balance of the universe is hanging on its thread. What I care about is you and your forgiveness. I will not let you do anything out of obligation. The pack will be fine with or without my wolf, but I need you to want this, too."

My words come out a bit too strong, and my chest is heaving by the time I'm done. Aurora stares at me with parted lips before blinking twice, as if she wanted to make sure it is me before her.

"Okay," she finally says, her tone almost as breathless as mine.She clears her throat. "I wanted to thank you for your hospitality and to inform you that Ronan and I will be leaving soon."

My heart drops following her words. I knew this day was coming. Ronan fully recovered a while ago and has been up and doing for quite some time, yet hearing it from her feels like the onset of doom.

Her eyes don't leave mine, and for a moment, I could delude myself into thinking that she wanted me to ask her to stay, but I don't.

The old me would've done just that. Gone to every measure to make sure things work out exactly how I want it to, but I'm not that man anymore.

I won't push her into succumbing to my every whim. I'll show her she has full control of the situation and can make whatever decision she wants to make.

All I can promise is to always be by her side, never give her a reason to doubt my love or loyalty to her, and prove to her she can depend on me.

So instead, I say, "Okay." The word tastes like sawdust in my mouth. It's not what I want. I want to give her all the reasons to stay and show her the good time we could have together, but I sit tight in my chair, gripping the arm to keep myself from getting up and showing her why she should stay.

Something that looks eerily close to disappointment haunts her features, but it's gone before I can register it, replaced by the stoic expression she seems to carry around me. "Thank you," she mutters before turning and fleeing the scene.

I can't shake the feeling that I might've done something wrong, but my gut insists this is the right way. She might be disappointed, but I know if I tried to sway her, it would only add to the bricks in the wall I'm already trying so hard to demolish.

We will get there, but first, I need to win her trust, and I'm prepared to starve myself of my personal desires and drag my bare foot through hot coal tar if that is what is required.