Page 31

“No. We can go back to normal tomorrow night, and the next night, and the night after that. You can sleep wherever you want from now until you’ve decided you want to sleep somewhere else.

” Dropping my hands, I brush them over my dress and along my hips, then I turn from the mirror and smile.

“There are no rules about this, honey. There’s just you and me and whatever you need to do to feel okay every night. ”

“But not tonight?” He looks me up and down, entirely neutral in his expression. Never, ever rely on Franklin Page to make you feel good about your outfit choice . “I don’t get to feel okay tonight?”

I snort. “Nice try, but no. We’re in a new town now and starting a new life. Sometimes that means we have to try new things, even if we don’t want to.”

“But you’re a grown-up. You don’t have to go out. We could stay here and watch TV.” His little eyes beam behind his glasses. “That sounds like a good idea to me.”

“And around in circles we go.” I release a pent-up breath and turn toward my closet to get shoes. “That lady we saw out front of the bank? Caroline?—”

“Was very loud,” he shudders. “She likes it when people look at her.”

“Well…” I select a pair of wedge sandals.

“I don’t know that she likes it. But she definitely doesn’t know how to be any other way.

Which is fine, in my opinion. We should never be someone we’re not, and true friends would never try to change someone they care about.

” Spinning back, I move to the bed and push Franky’s Murdle book backward so I can sit beside him and pull my shoes on.

“Caroline was—ironically—pretty shy in school. She preferred to read in the library instead of hanging out on the playground. She didn’t have a lot of friends and?—”

“Did you have a lot of friends?”

“Not necessarily.” Thoughtful now, I slip one foot into the leather straps of my sandal.

“I was always hanging around with Tommy and Chris. And Raquel, too, and Ollie. We had our circle of friends, and we never excluded anyone else, but it’s like the whole world knew it was me, Tommy, and Chris, first and foremost. Me and Tommy, connected at the hip.

” I sigh. “And Tommy and Chris, because they were a package deal. Caroline was a little afraid of them, I think.”

“Afraid?”

“They weren’t mean. They were just… they were often hurt, honey. Dirty. They lived a tough life back then, and not everyone can sit with boys who had black eyes and split lips and not feel weird about it.”

“Why did they have black eyes and split lips?”

“Because their mom and dad weren’t very nice.

” I slowly feed the leather strap through the metal buckle and picture the boys, so heartbreakingly clear in my mind, hurt and hungry.

Sad and, most often, in pain. “It’s easy to look mean when you’re injured, and I bet it’s hard to muster a smile when breathing makes your ribs ache.

It wasn’t their fault that they looked a little unwelcoming sometimes, and it wasn’t Caroline’s fault for shying away from that. ”

“You didn’t mind sitting with them when they were hurt?” Franky’s little feet don’t touch the floor from up here, so he gently kicks them back and forth, tapping the frame of the bed with his heels. “They didn’t scare you?”

“No.” I finish the first shoe and move to the next. “I felt protective of them. I felt sad every time they were sad, and angry every time they came to school with fresh injuries. But you know what was worse than that? When they didn’t come to school at all.”

“Because you worried about them?”

He’s so intuitive. So smart.

I nod. “Smartphones weren’t invented back then, and even if they were, Tommy and Chris wouldn’t have had the money to buy one.

So when they didn’t come to school at all, I knew they were in bad shape, and I couldn’t even send a text to check in.

” I swallow the rage that bubbles along my throat, rearranging my face and offering my baby a soft smile.

“On those days, Caroline would sit with me. She would provide space in the quiet and comfort while I worried. She never got cranky when I wasn’t in the mood to chat, and she never held a grudge that, just as soon as the boys were back in school, she was alone again, and I wasn’t. ”

“Do you wish she was brave enough to sit with them?” He studies my eyes, his perfect green stare flickering between mine. “If she were, she wouldn’t have been alone.”

“Yeah. But we don’t try to change our friends. She did what she felt was right for her, and I did what I felt was right for me. And in the times in between, we were happy to be together, even if that togetherness was wrapped in my worry and silence.”

“I guess I see why you want to go see her, then.” He reaches around for his book and scoots back on the bed to rest against the headboard. “She seems nice, even if she’s loud.”

I breathe out a soft laugh. “Exactly.”

“And I like to read in the library, too. Will you talk to me through the cameras later?”

“Maybe.” Done with my shoes, I push up to stand and take a moment to find my balance, now that I’m three inches taller than usual.

Finally, I stride to the dressing table and position the baby monitor I never got rid of, just in case.

I point it straight toward the bed and pray that in just a couple of hours, I’ll check in and find him sound asleep.

“You can stay in my bed, and you can even lie right there in the middle. When I get back, I’ll scoot you over and snuggle in.

Oh, and Colin said that he was planning to call tonight.

So you should grab your chess board and get ready. ”

“Okay.” Uninterested now that he’s reading, he rests his book on his knees and writes notes in the margins. “I think Doctor Pepper was the killer in this one. But Officer Lockemup isn’t very good at his job.”

“You’ll solve the crime like you always do.” I cross the room and press a kiss on his forehead. “I love you so much, Franky. More than anything else on the planet.”

“I know.” His lips curl into a sweet smile that ends with deep dimples pulling at his cheeks. “You say it all the time.”

“And I mean it all the time.” I brush my fingers through his hair and pull him back, forcing him to meet my eyes.

“Like I mean it when I say you need to try to sleep while I’m gone.

Grandma Bitsy is in her room watching her shows, but the door is open, and you can visit with her anytime. She said you could.”

“Do I have to? ”

I choke down a laugh and peek across at the door. Then I look back to Franky and wrinkle my nose. “No, you don’t have to. You spent most of today with her. Did you like that?”

“Mmhm. I like it when we hang out, just the two of us.” But then he scowls. “I don’t like when she takes me to see all her friends because then it’s loud and she’s pushy and tries to make me hug that other old lady.”

“Sadly, that’s how these people are. They think they have to compete with each other, even though real friends are happy for each other’s successes.

And back when I was younger, kids were expected to do as they were told.

Like, all the time. That included hugging people we didn’t want to hug or visiting people we didn’t want to visit.

Grandma and her friends think I’m crazy for not following those same rules. ”

“You don’t make me hug people. You don’t even make me hug you.”

“Exactly. Because kids are only kids for a short amount of time. I’d rather teach you that saying no is okay now and not make it a lesson you have to heal from as an adult. That’s considered hokey parenting to some people. But do you know what you’ve taught me?”

“Me?”

“Mmhm.” I tap his nose and earn a cute smile. “You taught me that it’s okay to not care about what other people think. In fact—” I straighten and head back to the dresser drawers. “What they think is none of my business. I only care that you’re happy and safe.”

Behind me, he lowers his book and meets my eyes in the mirror. “If that were true, then I think I would be most happy and safe if you stayed home tonight.”

I snort. “Nice try. Go get Grandma’s iPad so you have it near you. Then I’m walking out the door. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back.”

“Fine.” He very carefully, very thoughtfully, places his pen between book pages and sets the book on the bed, then jumps to the floor and dashes out the door.

His shoulder bounces off the doorframe as he passes, a solid thump that elicits a grunt of pain from him and a hiss of sympathy from me.

“I’m okay!” He darts down the stairs. “I’m alright! ”

“You’d hurt yourself less if you slowed down.”

“The sooner you go, the sooner you come back!”