Page 21 of Tango (Hunt Brothers Search & Rescue #4)

Alice

I ’ve never had to look far to find God. But right now, it feels as though He’s completely out of reach. My throat burns from the tears I’ve shed over the past few hours. Tears because I practically led my friend straight into the slaughterhouse when I asked him for help.

Tucker can say whatever he wants, but the truth is, Logan wouldn’t be dead if I’d never asked him to meet me at that coffee shop. Fired? Maybe. But he’d died trying to get me that message, and because of the way he sent it, we can’t even use it as evidence.

I know he was trying to make the contact untraceable, but man, I wish he would have used an attachment instead. Even given the risk.

The pew is soft beneath me, its blue cushioned seat comfortable even though I’ve been sitting here for the better part of an hour. Dylan is somewhere behind me, lingering close enough that he’s there if there’s an issue, but far enough away that I get privacy.

God, what do I do?

Closing my eyes in an attempt to stop another wave of tears, I sit in the silence of the small church, wishing I could feel God right beside me. Wishing I could hear His voice tell me why this is happening and what good could possibly come from the deaths of two people who were so important to me.

“You look troubled.”

I open my eyes as a man with salt-and-pepper hair sits beside me. He’s wearing slacks and a pale blue button-down shirt. “You could say that.”

“This is a good place to be when you’re troubled.” He holds out his hand. “Pastor Gabriel Ford.”

“Alice Sterling.”

“Aah.” He arches a brow. “The infamous Ms. Sterling.”

“I’m infamous?”

He laughs. “Around here, you are. Small town and all that.”

“I’m actually surprised the FBI hasn’t shown up to arrest me yet. It’s not as though I’m lying low.”

“Low enough,” he replies. “Most everyone in town knows you’re being protected by the Hunts. Since we’d trust them with our lives, we know you wouldn’t be here if you were actually everything the news claims you are.”

“Everyone does seem to adore the Hunts.”

“They’re great people. And the kids—though they aren’t really kids anymore—have done more for this town than can ever be paid back.”

I think of Tucker. Of how he’s choosing to believe me even though the evidence says otherwise. He’s keeping the video a secret from his brothers, something I’d begged him not to do but he said is necessary—for now.

“I can’t feel Him,” I whisper. “He feels so far away right now.”

Pastor Ford gestures toward the Bible in my lap. “This looks well-read.”

“It was a gift.”

“May I?”

“Of course.”

He takes the Bible from me and opens it to the first page. “‘To Alice. May you never lose sight of Him.’ That’s a lovely inscription.”

“I’ve had it since I was thirteen.”

Nodding, he offers the Bible back to me. “I’ve come to understand that when we can’t feel Him or hear His voice, it’s because we’re too focused on our next steps when we should be giving it all to Him.”

“I lost two of my closest friends and very likely might lose my own life soon.”

He’s silent a few moments. “I’m so sorry for your losses.”

“I trust in God’s plan, Pastor. I have since I was thirteen. But right now, I’m struggling to see what purpose this all has. Ramiro and Logan were good men. They didn’t deserve to die.”

“Does anyone?”

I shake my head. “No, but—” I trail off.

“I wish I had an easy answer for why this is happening to you, Alice. Truly, I do.” He glances back at Dylan.

“Or why bad things happen to anyone.” Facing me again, he takes the Bible once more.

“We have this. His Word and His promises that, when this life is over, the pain we suffer with will be no more.”

“I know that God can take tragedies and make something beautiful out of them, but I’m struggling to see the beauty these days.”

“Then fight to see it,” he tells me. “Read your Bible and pray—incessantly. Take up the sword of the Spirit and fight.”

“What if I’m not strong enough?”

“You are,” he says. “Because you have Him. The enemy attacks because he fears what’s inside of you. He will tear everything in your life down because he wants to break you. Don’t let him. Fight, Alice.”

Tears burn in the corners of my eyes, and I clutch the Bible to my chest.

“God is with you even now. Even when you can’t hear Him and He feels completely separated from you. He’s not. Lay your pain at His feet, and allow Him to carry you when things get too hard.”

Dylan is silent as he drives us back out of town. Delta lies in the backseat, just as quiet as his owner, though he stares out the window like the happy boy he is. The two make quite a pair—the broody soldier and the happy pup.

“Thanks for taking me.”

Dylan grunts in response.

“I’m sorry if I pulled you away from something.”

“It’s not a problem,” he replies, casting me a friendly look. Not quite a smile, but not a scowl either, so I’ll take it.

Silence descends around us again. “We couldn’t find proof that the video is a fake.”

As casually as he would be pulling into a parking lot, Dylan pulls over onto the shoulder and turns to face me. “What?”

“The video. It’s not what really happened, but every program I’ve run on it has come back saying it hasn’t been tampered with.”

Dylan’s hazel eyes—the same shade as his mother’s—darken. “Tucker failed to mention that.”

“He was ready to turn me in. Every reason why that can’t be me in that video is circumstantial, and I know that. A few hours later, we got the message from Logan.”

Dylan remains quiet for a few moments. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you and Tucker—all of you, really—don’t strike me as people who keep secrets from each other. And I don’t want to be a source of discontentment between you. If you want to turn me in yourself, I understand. I’ll go willingly.”

It’s completely true. Because even with everything Pastor Ford said about fighting, I don’t have the energy to keep running for long. I have no doubt that even if I’m killed—or jailed—Tucker will find a way to bring the truth to light.

My life—in the grand scheme of things—doesn’t matter.

Not when there are other lives on the line should the hackers manage to get their hands on the information they’re looking for.

Truthfully, they might already have it, though my gut says otherwise.

They wouldn’t have killed Logan if they have everything they need.

Dylan pulls off the shoulder and begins driving again. “I trust Tucker,” he says. “If he believes you’re innocent, then I won’t argue it.”

“I’m worried he’s going to get in over his head too.” It’s the first time I’ve vocalized it. But knowing what they did to Ramiro and Logan—what they tried to do to my parents—Tucker is getting closer to this by the second. What if he’s next?

Dylan snorts, catching me completely off guard.

“Alice, my brother has been in over his head since the moment he met you. However, there’s no one—and I mean no one —more capable of figuring this out.

Besides, as he’s said, he’s never been shot.

Too fast for bullets.” I get a sideways grin from Dylan, and for a brief moment, the mask of pain he wears slips away, and he looks more like his twin than he has since I’ve known them.

I find myself smiling in return. “Let’s hope he stays that way. I don’t want any of you to get hurt because of me.”

“You let us worry about us. This is hardly the first situation we’ve been in like this, and I can guarantee it won’t be the last. No matter how many times we should’ve died, we’re still standing. Let that bring you at least a little peace. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”