Page 65 of Tales of a Deadly Devotion (Tales of a Monstrous Heart, #2)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Alma

What a vicious little beast.

That voice. So lyrical and soft. How those blood-stained nails bit into my skin. So cold. A strange deadness to those crimson eyes.

No. I shook the memory away.

My claws dug into the bark of the tree before me. Wishing it was flesh. My chest too tight, no matter how deeply I tried to suck in breath. Greedy for it. My lungs were too small and tight, but as I opened my eyes – I hadn’t shifted.

Crouched in the wood, perfectly concealed in a strip of shadow the trees offered. Yet, I felt so small. So strange and weak.

That insignia. The rebellion was here. The shock of it had made me pause, made me shift and tumble to the earth. Barely having a moment to catch myself before I landed in the dirt.

The aches and scratches didn’t matter.

The rebellion. They were here and Kat was down there. Yet I couldn’t move. Could only bury my claws deeper into the tree, cold sweat sliding down my back.

Move. Help. Do something, little rat.

Only I remained still. Stuck within my fear. It churned wildly in my gut until I vomited between my bare feet once more.

‘Fuck,’ I hissed. Dragging my hand across my mouth, a repulsed shudder moving through me at the vile taste left behind. The bloody chunks in the leaves before me.

I didn’t mean to bite them, but the bastards wouldn’t stay still. Eating in one of my forms never ended well, especially not something so … fresh. In my anger I forgot myself. Listening to the cries of those fey. Smelling fear.

It fuelled a part of me I wished never to remember. A twisting form of nothing but darkness and claws. Endless. Uncaring who it consumed.

I shuddered again, trying to pant through the next wave of nausea. Flying always took too much energy. Especially in a form so big. The rage of my beasts had taken over, pushing my limits too soon after the verium.

Now they were so quiet, faltering with my fear. I should have raced down the hill, should have helped Kat. Yet, I hid – vomiting up all my guilt.

I just needed a moment. Needed to focus, and then I could think. The brambles dug into my bare feet, making me growl as another shiver moved down my spine. Fur rippling across my forearms to try and stave away the chill. Breath clouding before me from the winter air.

‘Little nightmare,’ came the soft taunt on the wind.

Turning me so fast I almost fell amongst the soggy leaves.

Only for this whole episode to get worse as my gaze met the troublesome amber of the voyav, where they leant against a door frame – a cottage – just beyond the trees I’d chosen as my hiding place.

The residents were clearly gone. Warm light painting a path through the thicket.

There was something distracting in the sharpness of Thean Page’s gaze, in that amber as the light from the doorway made it glow. That cloak slung over their arm as they waited. Waiting for me.

I should have hissed. Changed and fled. Only my panic didn’t dissipate. Nor the ghostly taunt of the voice I wished to forget. What a vicious little beast.

I didn’t feel vicious. I was tired, sad and scared. Reminding me too much of the girl I’d never be again.

I rose against my better judgement. Unable to wallow any longer. Repulsed by the stench of my own fear. Unbothered by my nakedness before them, knowing they wouldn’t look.

‘Why are the rebellion here?’ I demanded, irritated I needed any help at all as I kept my arm across my breasts.

I wanted to bare my teeth but no fangs would manifest. If my beasts were silent, then I’d deal with the bastard voyav in mortal form.

‘Probably the same reason we are,’ they offered as I snatched the cloak off them, holding it across my front.

‘Stop helping me,’ I grumbled, another shiver coursing up my back, leaving sharp bumps in its wake.

They glowered down at me. ‘Stop getting caught.’

I bared my useless mortal teeth. I wasn’t caught. That was the problem. If I was caught, I’d have no choice but to choose fury over fear.

I moved inside the cottage. Needing to collect myself, to get the flesh from between my teeth. Wash the rancid taste from my mouth. To think.

‘You need to get down there to—’ Only as I stepped into the cottage, it wasn’t a cottage at all. There was a rush of magic against my skin, pinching and old.

The familiar bookcases and desks of the Blackthorn study. The fire roaring, the doors across from me creaking open and shut like a waving hand glad to have us back.

We were back in Blackthorn Manor. Impossibly. My head spun. I turned back to the doorway. Only to find bookcases behind me. The house covering up where it had pulled me through the portal door. Away from that village. Away from Kat.

No.

Thean was fixing the cuffs on their jacket, short auburn hair disturbed by the wind. Completely unbothered by the ease of their deception.

‘You bastard!’ I seethed, turning to go back, finding nothing there but the space between the bookshelves, and the voyav standing with folded arms. Jaw tense as if the sight of the bramble scratches on my calves personally offended them.

‘Get out of my way!’ I shrieked, the cloak forgotten, tangling around my feet as I lashed out with my claws. Intent on going for their throat.

I was quick. Always had been, but the voyav was quicker. Catching my wrists so gently, as if I was nothing but a petulant child.

Forcing me back against the shelves.

‘Not likely, darling,’ the loathsome creature grinned, yet there was a wildness in their eyes. Maybe fear, but it flared into amusement too quickly for me to be certain.

A growl rumbled in my throat. Fuck them. I let my scales ripple, starting to change. My beasts not complying as I wished, cowed by the mere presence of this being, and I hated it.

Thean’s hand took my shoulder, pinning me in the blink of an eye. The cupboards rattling with the house’s input. Somehow complicit in this madness.

My breath was too panted. Too wild. I’d abandoned my friends to my fear. Left Kat there. William too.

‘Let me go,’ I sneered.

Thean leant closer until that rich fucking scent chased away the stench of cursed blood and my own fear. ‘You’re the one holding on, sweetheart.’

My claws curled into their shirt, almost desperately. Even now.

‘You wouldn’t have been hiding if you wanted rebels sniffing you out .’ Their words were terse with warning and soft with seduction all at once as they stirred the loose hair next to my ear. That bastard warm clove smell filling my lungs.

I bared my fangs, ignoring the warmth of their skin against my collarbone. Only, just like the heat of their proximity, those words settled my rage. The rebellion. The strange threat in Thean’s knowing. They’d seen things I never wished anyone to. The power of my beasts, how valuable I was.

Fear gnashed at my heart.

‘Just as I thought.’ Those amber eyes dropped to where my pulse fluttered in my throat.

‘You don’t know anything about me,’ I spat, pushing them away. They went easily. Which I hated most. That they knew I was all bark and no bite. That I wouldn’t leave. Couldn’t.

‘Strange … your Kysillian said the same thing. Perhaps that’s why you huddle so closely, finding commonality in the secrets you keep,’ they taunted, hands slipping so easily into their pockets. But there was nothing relaxed in their stance, eyes too dark with the hunt.

Only their words struck their intended mark. How similar me and Kat were. With all the things she didn’t know. That she was far more dangerous than she seemed. So was I. How long had I been running from that truth? Changing into anything to avoid it?

How the voyav mocked me with it now. I was sick of them. Sick of how they wished to play me like a fool.

‘Loyal pets don’t stray this far from their leash. You’re hiding right here with me, Thean,’ I spat. Hating how easily their name slid between my fangs. ‘Lies and games. Don’t you ever tire of it?’

I couldn’t help the humourless laugh that slipped from my lips. The exhaustion that bit into my bones. The games I also played, irritated every time I fought with them. It unsettled me how much it felt like fighting myself.

‘It’s kept me alive and you enjoy the challenge too much.

’ They studied me too closely. So many emotions hidden in the depths of those otherwordly eyes.

That gaze never straying lower than my face, because as they said – I didn’t give them permission to look.

Despite standing naked before them, covered in nothing but mud and my own fearful sweat.

‘You incense me,’ I snapped. Yet no other forms came, no growls or sharp scales. My beasts were not in agreement with me. Fuck them. Fools to be seduced so easily. I’d fucked strangers I trusted more than this creature.

Thean leant closer. Their smile slow and wicked. ‘If only you didn’t want it so much, little love.’

Those eyes dipped down to my fangs. It was too hard to catch my breath. Their thumb and finger caught my chin as if they wished to examine them more closely. I should have hissed or pulled away, but I was a fool. I always had been, wanting too much to see what they’d do next.

‘Did you think of me when you made those little fangs?’ The words were soft, cautious. A question they knew they shouldn’t want.

‘Only how viciously I’d bite you.’ My voice didn’t sound steady. Not with them holding me like that. Not with how focused they were on my lips.

‘Don’t tease.’ They were too wicked with their amusement, making my anger curdle inside of me. At myself. At all my secrets and lies.

‘I’d be an interesting pet for your master.’ I let my lips curl into my own vicious smile. Watching amusement gutter out of their eyes. ‘But you already know that, don’t you?’

What a vicious little beast. Those words came back to me from that fucking awful witch’s lips. Only she wasn’t wrong. Was she?

How valuable. Valuable enough that I’d be seen as a prize and if Thean handed me over, how she’d reward her voyav. Let them back in so easily no matter how far they’d wandered or for how long.

‘Yet. Here we are,’ I taunted. Home. ‘ Safe .’

Something moved across the voyav’s expression, their features shifting in the blink of an eye. Unsettled between female and male as if I’d unnerved them. ‘Foolish to think you’re safe with me, little nightmare.’

My thigh burnt from the memory of their touch last night. My beasts letting scales tickle the corner of my jaw they’d touched as if relishing in the memory of it. My tongue darting out across my lip as if to taste even the fucking perfume of them in the air between us.

How they tormented me. So I’d give this madness back to them. I stepped closer, seeing them tense, how their pupils got impossibly darker. Verr. That’s what they were, a predator. Only I was a predator too, and perhaps I’d forgotten that in this mortal skin.

I was right. The voyav wasn’t as loyal as they seemed. A necromancer was a creature the Countess would cherish, yet she didn’t have one. Couldn’t, because if she did, the Council would never have stood a chance against the death summoning the Countess would command.

Thean hadn’t given that necromancer over. They hadn’t said a word about Kat’s blade, nor her true line. They’d kept quiet, because they wished to stay here. Far away from that master.

‘Who is the liar now?’ I whispered against the curve of their neck. Letting my tongue drag across their perfumed throat. Feeling the unsteady beat of their pulse, the killer in me relishing it. Letting my fangs give the smallest nip.

My smile sly as I pulled back, finding victory in the stillness of them. Only I should have known better. Their retaliation was quicker.

Their fingers curled into a fist in my wild dark curls, pulling my head back to claim my eyes. Rough and gentle all at once. A strange mewing sound slipping from between my lips. Betraying me as desire sparked warmly in my core.

‘If you want to play … all you have to do is ask.’ Those ancient eyes traced every inch of my face. Breaths unsteady as if trying to find their patience. ‘You can use those scales to cover yourself.’

The words came reluctantly, as if the thought to help me had squeezed through their lips against their will.

Shock flashed thought me. I’d never thought of it. Always seen myself and those beasts as two sides. That they couldn’t meet, not even as I felt soft scales ripple and twist across my skin, covering my nakedness at their suggestion. Listening to them.

I snapped my teeth. ‘Repulsed?’

At the mess of me. The uneven flesh and the creatures that prowled beneath. I didn’t care if they were. Maybe I’d prefer it.

‘Beautiful little nightmare.’ They smiled, the knuckles on their other hand dragging the barest ghostly path so gently down my breastbone, yet those eyes stayed on my own. ‘You haven’t been paying attention.’

The taunt spurred something feral inside of me as my claws dug into their jacket. Thean came closer, until I could feel their breath caress my throat, until I couldn’t smell the remains of my fear or the mud. Until all I could scent was them.

I wanted the madness of it. Only Thean Page had no mercy in them.

Those fangs dragged over my throat, almost in promise.

A delicate scratch that made a wanton needing ache between my thighs.

How delicately they touched me, the brush of their fingers teasing.

Knowing they didn’t need to be gluttonous, to grip and demand my flesh.

No, it was as if I was a feast to be savoured.

Delicate.

You’re not real, little rat. How the Keeper would spit those words as I cried. As I lay broken before them. No matter the pain or the blood. No matter how raw my voice became with my begging.

His words never changed.

I’d never been real. Their use of me shouldn’t sting as it did. I was just some simple strange thing pulled into existence against its will. Fleeting and easy to break. Like a feral fucking dust-sprite.

That wasn’t how I felt with Thean’s lips on my pulse. I felt real. I felt every breath, every hair on my flesh, painfully. I became real between their palms and I recoiled from the agony of it.

I retreated. Shifted and changed so small they couldn’t see me. Then I fled just like the coward I was. Ignoring the whimper of the beasts within.