Page 6 of Tales of a Deadly Devotion (Tales of a Monstrous Heart, #2)

Chapter Four

Alma

The ravhorn. Great serpents of scales and poison, large enough to eat a man, but they prefer to devour the dark, burrowing deep where they sleep beneath the earth.

‘Thank the ancestors,’ William greeted as he lurched to his feet from his perch on a low stool by the fire in the study, his bottom lip bruised from how much he’d been biting it.

‘How is she?’ Emrys demanded, pulling off his coat and tossing it on an abandoned chair filled with books, knocking most of them to the ground.

If the boy was alarmed by the dark blood splattered on Emrys’s shirt and jaw, he didn’t show it.

‘Stable,’ Gideon sighed from where he rested against the study door frame, shoulder stooped with tiredness as he rubbed the back of his neck, a rag thrown over his shoulder stained from whatever tonics he’d been mixing. ‘For now.’

Then those sad blue eyes landed on me, nestled between Emrys and Thean. I could only imagine the dirt smeared across my face, dark hair a tangled mess around my shoulders. The wildness in my eyes from the change as the stolen trader’s coat swamped me.

‘Alma?’ William took a cautious step forward, alarmed by the state of me. Probably the reek of me too.

Gideon’s long strides cut through the space between us, halting William’s approach. That strange energy he possessed practically thrumming in the air between us.

‘Show me.’ He held out his gloved hand and Emrys relinquished the sample of the ravhorn from his white knuckled grip.

Gideon turned the vial over, holding it up to the warm study light, twisting it so the grey scales inside gleamed, those gold and silver threads sending my magic biting ravenously into my bones.

Now. It seemed to growl deep in my chest. Ravenous with a hunger I hadn’t felt since Daunton.

‘This sample is petrified.’ Gideon frowned, a light going out in his eyes as his gaze moved reluctantly back to his brother.

A sound slipped between Emrys’s lips as if he’d been punched in the gut, but I couldn’t focus on that. Couldn’t stop. I snatched the vial from Gideon’s hand, moving past him and towards Kat’s desk.

‘I never said I needed a live sample,’ I called over my filthy shoulder, rolling the cool glass against my palm, feeling the sharp bite of scales around my wrist.

Now, it demanded but I kept moving. To the clear surface where Kat’s things lay abandoned like some strange memorial.

Hating how faded the scent of her was. Missing it most of all.

I was cursed with value. One Kat hadn’t even let Master Hale see.

One I’d been used for before. Endlessly.

All the things I could become, exotic and extinct.

All the things that could be harvested over and over again.

How they could make more just like me so easily.

Use me until there was nothing left to take.

Just as they used all the others.

I pushed the stupid books, papers from the desk.

They clattered to the ground, the house letting out a weary groan but I ignored that too as I reached into her bag for her healing kit.

Letting the bandages tumble and unroll across the desk, the small vials and balls of cotton – creating a mess, but it was the clank of the healing knife that made me stop.

I grabbed it, hilt cold and heavy in my grasp.

My wrist was caught before I could make the cut, by fingers tipped with pure darkness, as if they’d been dipped in ink, spreading into thin veins up the back of his hand to his wrist.

‘Alma,’ Emrys cautioned, his hold inescapable, making me look up at where he towered over me. Feeling the strange cold sting of his magic against my skin, as scales rose under my flesh with the threat of his touch. Protecting me from whatever wrongness lurked inside him.

Verr.

How raw and pale he seemed with grief.

I wanted to hate him, but as I looked at the anguish in his shadowed face it was like looking into a mirror. I knew he was the only reason she was here now. He’d brought her back to me.

‘Why can you be consumed by madness to save her and I can’t?’ I challenged, watching his jaw tense. The slightest flinch as my words struck their mark.

There was nothing but darkness in his eyes and I knew he wasn’t protesting for me. He was protecting Kat, even now. Protecting her from seeing me in pain, even if she wasn’t here. He might care for her, but she was my family. All I had. All I never deserved.

‘I made her a promise.’ My voice broke. I knew he’d understand that if nothing else as I wrenched myself free from his hold.

I wouldn’t leave her. Not like this.

‘If anyone would like to inform me of what the fuck is going on, I’d be most grateful.’ Gideon came to a stop on the other side of the desk. Looking down at the mess I’d made with accusation.

I ignored him. Letting Kat’s healing blade slice my palm in one swift motion, blood pooling quickly. Focusing on the familiar sting as I brought the vial to my lips. Biting down on the seal, cracking it and spitting out the cork. Ignoring the sour grimy taste the poison left on my tongue.

‘Are you mad ?!’ Gideon surged forward. ‘That could be the last—’

Emrys caught his arm with impossible speed, stopping the protest as I let the crumbs of the scales fall into my bloody palm. Curling my fingers into a fist.

Blood slid between my knuckles with horrid familiarity.

Heathen bitch , Daunton had spat during his torment. His favourite insult for me. I almost smiled bitterly at the truth of it. Just how unholy I was.

‘Emrys!’ Gideon barked, knowing what was about to happen, but it was too late. I’d destroy all that was left of that beast and I’d do it for her.

One.

Two.

Three .

I let the count calm me. Listening to the fire crack, the drip of the blood and the thrum of my heart. The gritty texture of the remains against my skin. How a biting chill had begun to spread up my arm.

Find it, came a hiss in my ear. The painful phantom press of fingers against my flesh, twisting into my hair. The reek of old blood and rusted chains. Find it, little rat.

I shook my head, flinching from the memory of the Keeper.

I tried to feel it. Tried to remember the story Kat had told about the ravhorn. Remember the calm wonder in her voice. How desperately I needed to hear it again. Hear her. Make her real once more. So I could find my way back to this form.

My breath suddenly pained. Throat too tight, a sharpness there as if lined with ridges and scales. How my fear manifested to choke me, forcing me to submit to it.

There isn’t a form I wouldn’t find you in, Alma, Kat’s words like a ghostly brush of breath against the shell of my ear. A promise. A tether to always bring me back.

Then breath slipped between my lips.

I could smell damp soil, old musty earth. Hear the drips of water falling from stone, the endless cold that seeped deep into my bones, burying itself right to the marrow.

I imagined the sharpness of those dark scales, felt them ripple painfully beneath my skin.

Each like the jagged slice of a knife. Across the tops of my shoulders, the dampness of the blood that would soak my skin.

Heard a sound of alarm from behind me but it was too distant.

Too far for me to care as I forced the sensation of the pain down my spine and to my arm where those scales met the blood in my palm. Where they could take my offering.

My breath caught, I screwed my eyes tighter, my palm burning. Fingers trembling as I felt the sweat bead on my forehead. I gripped onto the desk with my other hand, a horrid sound tearing up my throat. My nailbeds split, fresh claws digging into wood.

Old wounds opening on my forearms and down my thighs. Skin slick with blood.

‘Emrys!’ Gideon ordered almost desperately.

The pain almost made me let go, my very bones seared with the intensity of it, trying to crack and change. Warm tears sliding down my cheeks, breath rattling in my throat. I didn’t open my eyes. Wouldn’t. Wouldn’t give in.

Useless rat . How easily I’d made those words true.

No.

I’d done it before. Performed for food, for their pleasure, for their cruelty to stop. I’d done it for them so I could do it for her.

Nothing is ever going to hurt you again. The memory of a younger Kat whispered into my ear. A breathless sob escaped my trembling lips. Remembering the compassion in her toothy grin as she hooked our filthy, thin pinkie fingers together in the first act of kindness I’d treasured.

When she’d used torn bed sheets to bandage my raw wrists in the dead of night, kneeling on the brutally cold floor. Unfazed by what they meant. The truth of them. That I wasn’t worth anything. The first time I’d been given something without a price.

Kindness.

She’d taken the beating the next morning, been forced to sleep on the hardwood floor for weeks after. Until her thin shoulders were bruised and too stiff to move.

She’d done it for me. Not understanding how little I was worth.

How desperately lonely she was to befriend a monster like me.

I’ll keep you safe. Always. I held that promise close to my heart and I wouldn’t lose it. Not as I lost everything else.

I pressed the knot of my fist against my stomach, dragging in a stuttered breath as the blistering torment of my curse shot up my legs, making them buckle.

My knees slammed into the wood. Someone called my name but all I saw was darkness through serpent eyes as it bowed me over.

I cried out from the madness of it. Heart beating too fast as it split apart and became two organs.

Pressing too hard against my ribs, squeezing the air from my lungs before turning to one again.

Bile burnt my throat as I spat it from my fanged mouth onto the hardwood floor.

The wild thing inside me thrashed to get out.

Clawing at my ribcage and filling my mouth with the bitter taste of blood.