Page 41
Story: Tag (Game of Crows #1)
Roxxi walked away. “I need to start cooking.” She disappeared into the kitchen area, washing her hands before pulling ingredients out of the fridge. “When are we going to tell the guys what we all know, they’re well aware of our fun new status?”
I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek.
My voice came out quieter than I intended as I sorted out my thoughts.
“I don’t like keeping things from them, especially Ryder.
If he finds out about the bathroom incident and what happened this morning from someone else, it’s going to create a problem between us. ”
I stood from the table and moved toward the sink, washing my hands too. “I think I’m going to tell him after practice tonight. If not, then tomorrow. We’ve got almost 4 days before things start.”
“Once he knows, the rest will too,” Ari said.
“You mean the rest will acknowledge it? I’m in full agreement they know already,” Cloe quipped.
Ari laughed lightly. “That’s what I meant.”
Cloe gave me a questioning look. “What about Ashton?”
“That’s complicated,” I sighed.
Roxxi didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, I know that sigh. What did he do now?”
I reached for two large bowls, setting them down for chips while she layered sandwiches. “It’s not one thing. It’s just, we’re not working. I’ve known it for a while. I think I’ve always known.”
“Because you were never supposed to be with him in the first place,” Roxxi replied, blunt as ever, spreading fresh turkey on thick slices of sourdough.
“Thanks for the reminder.”
She smiled, unbothered. “Am I wrong though? Plus, you’re doing charity work, Sanj.”
“Ashton isn’t ugly,” I shot back, reaching for the chip bags in the far cupboard. “You know he’s cute.”
“Hey, some people like chitlins. I don’t say a thing,” Cloe interjected.
Ari giggled behind her hand, trying not to laugh too loud.
Roxxi cackled, flipping a sandwich onto a plate. “He’s not ugly, but he’s not my type. I get short guys need love too, but he isn’t your type either.” She waved the butter knife at me for emphasis. “Anyway, everyone already sees you and Ryder as endgame.”
“Weren’t we talking about The Hunt? How did this become a me and Ryder thing?” I asked, exasperated.
“Like we haven’t cycled back to this a thousand times?” Cloe deadpanned.
“Ryder has Brooke.”
“That hurt you,” Ari said softly. “Which hurts us, too. You two should’ve been together a long time ago.”
“Ari—seriously, not you too?”
Cloe rested her chin in her hands, still managing to look like a damn goddess with perfect posture while doing it. “Fine. Tell us we’re wrong, and we’ll drop it.”
I stared down at the counter, brushing my fingers on the small dent near the edge. “You’re not wrong, but you also know it’s not that simple.”
“Matters of the heart never are,” Roxxi mused. “That’s why I don’t do ‘em. I fuck 'em and ghost.”
“Oh my god,” I laughed, dumping BBQ chips into a bowl.
Roxxi reached over and popped one into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Brooke or not, Ryder’s always been about you, hasn’t he?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said quietly. “I can’t think like that. I don’t want to lose him. I..I can’t lose him. What if it goes horribly wrong?”
I didn’t add that I knew he’d ruin me. Or that I wanted him to. I wasn’t sure how they’d react to that part, the raw, ugly truth of it.
“It’s been going right for over twenty years,” Ari supplied, oh so helpfully.
“She’s right, you know? You’ve always been scared of that, but he has never let you down once,” Roxxi said gently. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like the world's on fire in the best way.”
“It wouldn’t just be the world. Ryder’s…” I shook my head. “You know what he’s like. He’s intense.”
Cloe grinned. “Yeah, and you’re into it.”
My face warmed instantly. I didn’t even bother denying it. His intensity had always pulled me in when it should’ve sent me running in the opposite direction.
She leaned forward and continued. “If anyone can handle him, it’s you. You’ve always grounded him. You make him human. I don’t know where he’d be without you, Sanj. That’s a lot to carry, I get that, but I love him too, and I want him with someone who sees him the way you do.”
Her words struck something deep. They echoed a thought I hadn’t been able to shake since last night, when he told me in not-so-many words, Brooke didn’t know the real him.
She got the polished version guaranteed to shine.
The college jock with adoring fans. The charmer.
He wore a mask better than anyone, but I’d always seen the person beneath it.
Ryder had always been my confidan t .
He was my first friend, the boy who held my hand when I was scared of the dark.
He was the one who taught me how to ride a bike and how to sneak out without getting caught. He followed me on all the adventures I thought were so grand at only nine years old and never teased me for them. For every milestone or disappointment, I had him at my side.
Things had gotten so tangled up.
Every time I looked at him, I saw the boy who once patched up my scraped knees and now, the man who owned my heart.
I didn’t know when it happened, when being his best friend stopped being enough.
When the laughs and late-night talks started meaning more than they should’ve.
All I knew was that I didn’t know how to unfeel it.
I’d tried. I lost count of how many times I told myself to stop dreaming of a forever I wasn’t allowed to want.
My heart hadn’t caught up yet. I was starting to realize it never would.
At my silence, Roxxi added, “If it doesn’t work out, then at least you’ll know you tried. And if he hurts you, we’ll be here to kick his ass. You know that, right?”
I laughed, some of the tension in my chest loosening. “Yeah. I know. I need time to figure it all out.”
“Then take all the time you need. Just don’t be afraid to take a risk.”
I nodded. Their support settled around me like armor. “Thanks, you guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Cloe flashed a grin as she stood to help us with the plates. “You’d be even more of a mess, and so would we, let’s be real here. We balance each other out.”
“We do,” I agreed. “Which means it’s your turn. Let’s talk about your guys’ love lives now.”
Cloe made a face immediately. “You know that I swore off men for the foreseeable future. Headaches, lies, and audacity? No, thank you. I choose peace.”
“I just told you how I’m moving. I don’t want one of those things attached to me,” Roxxi stated.
“Things?” I laughed.
Ari raised her hand serenely. “I have at least a hundred book boyfriends and Wicked Whims. I’m going to stick to my fantasy worlds.”
“None of you is any fun.”
Their jokes and laughter echoed through the house, the easy kind that made everything feel a little more bearable, even if only for a moment.
Table of Contents
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