Page 8

CHAPTER SIX

L ooking through the branches of the apple tree, I saw someone—no, some thing was coming. It was huge and green and it had glowing golden eyes and tusks poking out of its mouth. I’m not kidding—freaking tusks!

“Get the fuck off this property!” the growling thing demanded. “You don’t belong here!”

It didn’t have to tell me twice. Maybe in a romance novel, the plucky heroine would have tried to stay and reason with the monster but I was not that plucky—or that stupid. With Sebastian hissing at my heels, I turned and ran as fast as I could.

I could feel the monster chasing me—he was so huge and heavy his footsteps pounded the ground, shaking it under my feet. I gasped and fell, but I was running uphill, so instead of falling all the way down, I ended up on my hands and knees instead of flat on my face.

I continued up the sloping backyard that way, climb-crawling as fast as I could. My breath was tearing in my throat and my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my ribcage and run away on its own.

I hadn’t been to the gym in ages—I only like to go at night anyway, when it’s less crowded—but I didn’t let that stop me. It’s amazing how much cardio you can get in when a huge green monster with tusks and glowing golden eyes is chasing you!

“Get back here!” he was snarling. “Thief! Trespasser!”

I finally reached the top of the hill and ran for the kitchen door. To my relief, I saw that the door was already standing open, though I was sure I had closed it securely behind me. It almost looked like it was beckoning me inside.

“Hurry—hurry!” whispered the little voice in my ear and I was inclined to listen to it.

I swore I could feel the monster’s breath on the back of my neck but just in time, Sebastian and I rushed through the open door.

The minute we were safely inside, the kitchen door slapped shut and I heard the sound of a lock turning. The monster pounded a huge green hand against the doorframe, making it tremble, but the house held firm and when he tried the knob, the door wouldn’t budge.

“Get out of there!” he insisted in that deep, angry roar I could hear even through the glass. “You’re fucking trespassing!”

I backed away from the door, shaking my head, my heart pounding.

Then, to my relief, the monster turned and rushed down the hill again. He was incredibly fast for such a big guy. (Was he a guy? He seemed to be. Anyway, he disappeared through the trees almost before I could blink.)

“Oh my God!” I was shaking as I sank down at the kitchen table. Sebastian jumped up on my knee and I began to stroke his fur, trying to calm my nerves. “That was close,” I said to him and he mewed in earnest agreement.

I had a crazy array of emotions running through me. Fear, of course—I’d been freaking terrified! But also a strange kind of exhilaration—my adrenaline was pumping and I couldn’t believe I had outrun a real, actual monster.

But at the same time, what the hell was going on around here? None of my recently recovered childhood memories included anything like the big green guy with tusks and golden eyes who had just chased me up the hill. Who was he and why did he keep insisting I was trespassing? What?—

“Riiiiinnnng! Riiiinnnng!”

The strident sound broke my train of thought and I looked around to find the source of it.

Behind me, on the wall beside the table, was an old-fashioned phone I hadn’t seen earlier.

And I do mean old-fashioned. It had a long, curly cord that hung down like a tail almost to the ground and a rotary dial.

It was ringing itself off the hook—a saying which took on new meaning to me as I saw that the black receiver really was hanging on a kind of hook attached to the wall.

Normally I’ll do anything not to answer the phone. It’s not much easier talking to strangers on the phone than in person—my words always seem to get stuck. Texting is what works best for me—it’s much more impersonal and I don’t have to see the other person’s face or hear their voice.

But now I found myself reaching for the phone, despite the anxiety that phone conversations always caused me. I lifted the heavy black receiver and put it to my ear.

I didn’t say “Hello” but I didn’t need to—the person on the other end started talking immediately.

“Okay, lady,” growled a harsh, masculine voice. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but I am the caretaker of the house you’ve invaded. I’m going to give you one chance—get out now or I’m coming in.”

His words were scary but to my surprise, I found that I had words of my own rising to my lips.

“I’m not going anywhere!” I told him firmly, in a voice that only shook a little. “I inherited this house from my Grandmother—I own it now!”

I didn’t have time to be shocked at the fact that my words had flowed instead of getting stuck in my throat, because the guy on the other end—he must be the huge green monster who had chased me, was talking again.

“So you’re claiming to be Ms. Elvira’s granddaughter?” he demanded. “I’m going to need to see some proof of that.”

“I’ve got her last will and testament written in her own handwriting,” I shot back indignantly. “Is that proof enough for you?”

I was pissed off but also secretly delighted that I was holding my own in this conversation—not letting the big asshole bully me or back me down.

“You’d better be telling the truth because I’m coming back up to see it,” he warned.

“You’re not coming in here!” I snapped back. “I…I’ll call 911 if I see your big green ass outside my house!”

He took a deep breath and then blew it out—sounding like a Category Three hurricane on the other end of the phone.

“Fine. Just hold it up to the kitchen window then. I know Ms. Elvira’s handwriting—if it looks legit, I’ll leave you alone.”

I thought about telling him I didn’t have to show him anything, but I figured if he really had been watching the house after my Grandmother passed, I might owe it to him to prove that I belonged here.

“All right,” I said. “But once I show you her will, I don’t want you hanging around. You leave me alone or I really will call 911 on you!”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he growled and then the phone banged down with a loud claanng right in my ear.

“Ouch!” I rubbed my ear and hung the phone back up on its hook. Then I looked around, hoping I hadn’t dropped the will and testament outside when I’d been running for my life.

Luckily, it was on the counter along with my cell phone and the iron key that had brought me to my Grandmother’s place in the first place. Also, I found that I still had the apple I had picked—I had shoved it into the pocket of the gray cardigan I still wore.

Almost before I could finish taking inventory, I looked through the kitchen window and saw the monster guy coming up the hill. Wherever he was staying, it must not be far from my Grandma’s house—a thought which was not at all comforting.

Taking a deep breath and gathering my courage, I picked up the will in one hand and my cell phone in the other. I didn’t seem to have very good cell service here, but the phone function still worked. I typed in 9-1-1 and waited with my thumb hovering over the send button.

Before I knew it, the monster was headed right for the kitchen window.

I tried not to recoil when I saw him. He was wearing brown trousers, absolutely enormous work boots, and a tight white t-shirt that looked like it might rip off his body at any moment, like the freaking Incredible Hulk when he gets angry.

Under the normal looking clothes his skin was green—kind of a gray-green—a sage color.

He had thick black hair and the tusks which had freaked me out earlier were still on display, jutting up from his bottom jaw.

They curved up over his upper lip and as I looked at them, I realized what he reminded me of.

Living most of my social life (such as it is) online, I’ve done my fair share of gaming.

I’m mostly into Baldur’s Gate and the Diablo franchise, but I’ve played quite a lot of World of Warcraft too.

And what the monster guy coming up the hill looked like was a character from WOW—specifically, he looked like an Orc.

You have to understand that WOW Orcs aren’t like Lord of the Rings Orcs.

They’re not slimy and greasy all over—they look more like a species of hugely muscular, overgrown elves—at least, they have pointed ears like elves.

They’re also a lot bigger than elves—I estimated this guy was at least seven feet tall—and they’re not nearly as pretty either.

Also, their green skin and curving tusks tend to show their heritage pretty clearly.

I couldn’t believe that I had been chased through the backyard by an honest-to-God Orc! I stared at him in disbelief as he came right up to the kitchen window and looked down at me, a scowl on his green face.

“Well?” he demanded, his deep voice muted only slightly by the pane of glass between us. “Let me see it.”

For a minute, I didn’t know what he was talking about. I’d gotten too caught up in the idea that a mythical figure was standing right outside my window. Then I remembered our deal—I’d show him the will and he would (hopefully) leave me alone.

“Here—read it and weep,” I snapped. And again I was surprised that the words came right out—not a single one got stuck in my throat.

I pressed my Grandma’s last will and testament against the glass. It was pretty crumpled at this point, but I hoped it was still legible.

The Orc leaned down from his great height and put his face close to the glass, which gave me a chance to study him up close. His tusks weren’t actually that huge—they were more like overgrown canines, I decided. I’d seen a lot worse playing WOW.

He wasn’t that ugly, either. He was actually kind of handsome for an Orc—not that I was in any way attracted to him, the big jerk—I hastened to assure myself.

“All right,” he said, straightening up at last. “I can tell that’s her handwriting. But if you’re her granddaughter, why didn’t you ever come to visit her? I saw how lonely she was—she could have used the company.”

“None of your business!” I snapped, stung by his words even though I hadn’t even remembered that my Grandma existed until that day.

He scowled.

“I guess you couldn’t make time for a visit—though you sure as Hell made time to come take over her house once she faded!”

Once again, his words hit home. In fact, they brought tears to my eyes—I would have loved to come visit my Grandma, if only I had known about her!

“You big asshole!” I said thickly, swiping at my eyes. “You don’t know anything about me or my relationship with my Grandma!”

He must have seen the tears in my eyes, because he looked suddenly stricken.

“Look, I didn’t mean—” he began.

“You’ve seen the will, now leave!” I snapped.

The big Orc actually had the grace to look ashamed of himself.

“Sorry,” he muttered. Then he turned and stumped back down the hill, his enormous work boots thudding solidly as he went.

I stood back from the window and swiped at my eyes again. Now I was imagining my Grandma in this big house all alone—baking brownies for a granddaughter who never came to visit…walking through the hallways by herself…sitting on the couch with nobody to talk to…

“I’m so sorry, Grandma,” I whispered. “I would have come if I could—I swear I would have!”

“ Don’t worry, child. I do not blame you. All is well.” The little voice was back and this time it made me feel a little better. Was it the spirit of my Grandma? Or maybe just an echo of her that lived on in her house?

I didn’t know but I blew my nose on a paper napkin and decided to finish the tour. Hopefully some happier memories would invade my brain and help me stop thinking of my Grandma all alone and missing me, while I didn’t even remember she existed.