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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I woke myself up thrashing and crying.

“No! No, no—no!”

Then Sebastian was patting my face and mewing anxiously.

I opened my eyes and saw my cat leaning over me, his whiskers twitching with worry.

“Sebastian?” I stared up at him fuzzily as the dream started to fade. “It’s okay—I’m okay,” I told him. I sat up and put a hand to my head. “Ohhhh!”

At first I couldn’t understand why I had such a headache. Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares I’d had last night.

“I had the worst dreams,” I said to Sebastian as I got up and dragged myself out of bed, rubbing my aching temples.

“First I dreamed that I took some kind of potion and told Rath all about my terrible dating history. And then I had nightmares about that weird black door with an X on it.” I shivered.

“Ugh, I’m so glad they were just dreams and I’m awake now. ”

Sebastian mewed doubtfully as I made my way to the bathroom. I stumbled into the shower and cranked the hot water up, hoping the heat would ease the headache. It helped a little and I felt more clearheaded when I finally came out.

I dried off and put on some of my comfy clothes—yoga pants, a t-shirt, and fuzzy socks.

It was chilly so I added a soft blue cardigan from my closet.

I put my hair up in a messy bun and decided not to bother with make-up.

After all, I was staying in today so I wouldn’t be seeing anyone I needed to impress.

I went downstairs and was about to make some coffee when I noticed a pot on the back of the stove. It was half filled with thick, dark purple liquid—almost like a syrup.

“What in the world?” I muttered staring down at the liquid in the pot. It had a strong herbal smell. “What is this? It looks just like the stuff I dreamed about.”

Then I had an awful thought—what if I hadn’t been dreaming? What if I really had taken a potion that made me tell Rath all the awful, ridiculous events of my past attempts to have sex? What if?—?

A rapping on the front door interrupted my thoughts. Who could that be?

Social anxiety gripped me and I thought about just hiding and not answering the door at all. Whoever it was would go away eventually—right?

But then I heard someone calling my name.

“Sarah? Sarah, are you okay?”

The deep, rumbling voice was unmistakable—it was Rath. I felt even more anxious. What if all those details I thought I had dreamed were real? Should I ignore the door? Should I hope he would go away?

“Sarah, it’s Rath,” he called again. “I’m really worried about you. Please let me in so I know you’re okay!”

Sebastian looked up at me and mewed.

I sighed and nodded.

“You’re right. I can’t just leave him out there.”

I went to the front door reluctantly, wishing I had put on some make-up after all. But it was too late now—it was also too late to hope that I hadn’t really made a fool of myself the night before. Though maybe I hadn’t—maybe I had drunk the purple stuff and made the rest of it up in my dreams?

Clinging to that slim hope, I opened the front door and saw Rath standing there with a worried expression on his face.

“Um, hi,” I said uncertainly.

“Are you okay? Can I come in?” he asked.

I nodded and stepped to one side.

He came in and I shut the door behind him. Sebastian began twining around his legs at once and purring. Rath leaned down and stroked him absently, but his attention was focused on me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Fine except for a splitting headache and the sneaking suspicion that I acted like a complete fool last night,” I said. “Um, I’m afraid I said some crazy things after I drank that purple potion stuff…though I can’t remember all of them.”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“That’s probably for the best. You were…not exactly yourself last night.”

I massaged my temples again with my fingers. More details of the night before were coming back to me and they were not pleasant.

“Did I really jump in your lap and, uh, shove my boobs in your face?” I asked, hoping it was part of the dream.

Rath nodded.

“In my mouth , actually. Which I wouldn’t have minded, except you were bespelled at the time.”

“Bespelled? Is that the magical version of drunk?” I asked.

“Kind of.” He nodded.

“I thought it was just a bad dream!” I shook my head. “Please tell me I didn’t also tell you all the awful details of the last time I tried to date!”

“Afraid so.” Rath looked at me sympathetically.

“Oh, no!” I groaned and put my hands over my face. “The part about the zipper and the police and the paramedics and everything?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” He still sounded sympathetic but I didn’t know how he looked—I couldn’t bear to look at him right then.

“Oh my God, how humiliating,” I moaned, my voice coming out muffled from behind my hands.

“Look, you don’t have to be embarrassed. We’ve all got bad dating stories,” he protested.

“Yeah, but you have to admit, mine is worse than most. And then the way I was acting— jumping on you like that and demanding that you…” I shook my head, unable to finish. “I’m just so, so sorry,” I told him, “I swear I’m not usually like that. I don’t know what got into me!”

“I do—it was that potion you brewed. In fact, I hope you don’t mind but I took a sample of it to someone in town.”

“You did? Why did you do that?” I looked up at him.

“To make sure it wasn’t going to cause you any lasting harm,” he said earnestly. “Like I said, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I guess not.” I sighed. “Who did you bring it to?”

“Madam Healer—that’s what we all call her. She’s pretty much everyone’s doctor here in Hidden Hollow,” he told me. “I brought her the sample last night after I put you to bed, so she ought to have had time to look at it by now.”

“Okay, so are you going to go see her or what?”

“Well, I thought it might be better if you talked to her,” Rath said. “With some help of course,” he added quickly.

“Please don’t say I have to go,” I pleaded. “I can’t handle any more strangers for a while—yesterday was a major overload for me.”

“I understand.” Rath put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “Actually, I thought it might work if we FaceTimed her. Didn’t you say that was easier for you when you’re meeting new people?”

I nodded reluctantly.

“Yes, but I don’t know why I have to talk to her at all. I mean, I feel fine now and I’ve learned my lesson—I won’t make any more recipes from my Grandma’s Grimoire.”

“It’s not just the potion you brewed—it’s your magic,” Rath said patiently. “I think Madam Healer might be able to help you get unbound. Or at least she might be able to point you in the direction of someone who can.”

“What do I need magic for?” I asked stubbornly, still looking for an excuse not to interact with yet another stranger. “I’ve never had it before—why do I need it now?”

“Didn’t you tell me that Goody Albright said your voice was bound along with your magic?” he reminded me. “Wouldn’t you like to be able to talk to people instead of writing notes? People other than me, I mean.”

“Well…” I sighed.

He was right—everything he was saying was exactly what I had been thinking.

It was just really hard to make myself get out of my comfort zone yet again, after going so far outside it the day before.

But I knew if I didn’t do something about the binding on me—if there really was a binding—I was never going to be free of my Selective Mutism.

And with all my heart, I wanted to be free of it.

“Okay, I’ll talk to her,” I said at last.

“All right—do you want me to call her?” Rath asked. “I can stay right by you if it helps and if you can’t talk to her, just whisper in my ear and I’ll translate for you.”

I couldn’t help being touched by his kindness.

The other guys in my life—all two of them—had been impatient with me, even when I explained my problem communicating.

They had both hung around long enough to date me, but it had become clear to me eventually that all either of them wanted was sex—not any kind of relationship.

And when I couldn’t give either of them what they wanted, they left.

Compared to both of the human guys I had dated, the big Orc was being incredibly sweet and understanding. Which wasn’t exactly what you’d expect from a seven-foot-tall monster. Or Creature, as they called themselves.

“Why are you being so nice to me—even after the crazy way I acted yesterday?” I asked him. I honestly wanted to know.

He smiled.

“I guess…I just like you. And I feel protective of you. I hope that doesn’t sound weird or anything,” he added.

“No—I like you too.” I looked up at him shyly. “Thanks for giving me another chance.”

Rath spread his hands.

“Least I could do. You gave me a second chance after I chased you through your backyard.”

I laughed.

“Okay, true. But before you make the call, can I go change first and put on some makeup?”

“You look beautiful to me, but whatever makes you comfortable. I’ll wait down here with Sebastian.” He leaned down to pet my cat, who was rubbing against his legs in an unusual display of affection. He normally didn’t like anyone but me, but he really seemed to have taken to the big Orc.

“Help yourself to some pie,” I offered, blushing at his compliment. “There’s still some left.”

Rath’s golden eyes lit up.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he rumbled. “That’s one recipe from your Grandma’s Grimoire that you need to keep!”

I laughed again and went upstairs to put on a nicer top and some makeup. What was it about the big Orc that made me feel so at home—so safe and at ease? And why did he care so much about helping me?

In different circumstances, I might have thought he was trying to get into my pants. But he’d had ample opportunity to do that last night when I was throwing myself at him and he hadn’t taken advantage. Instead, he had put me to bed to sleep it off. I appreciated that—he was a real gentleman.

I know a lot of women like brooding, mysterious men with hidden trauma, and sure, that’s fine in romance books.

But in real life, what you need is a mature, emotionally intelligent man who will be there for you when you need him.

Maybe I had finally found one, even though he wasn’t really a man but an Orc.