Page 43 of Switch!

“Mind if I refresh my memory?” I ask. “It’s been a while.”

“Sure.”

I know she expects me to scan the text in silence. That’s why I clear my throat and read out loud. I used to be good at this. My mother would sometimes ask me to read to her if she was bored or we had a long drive ahead of us. She always seemed to enjoy it. Caleb’s voice is drier, and not as expressive as mine used to be, but I try my best. Past her initial surprise, Sarah settles back to listen. The chapter isn’t very long. There isn’t dialog, only an old man remembering the greatest love of his life. I find myself getting choked up toward the end. I manage to keep it together, but only just.

“I felt sad when reading it,” Sarah says, brown eyes searching mine. “That’s why I thought it couldn’t be the chapter you meant, but it’s the only one that really deals with love.”

“Exactly,” I say. “I’d never read anything like it before. Especially the way he describes her, how he managed to put into words what it’s like to meet someone so incredibly special that—when they pay attention to you—no matter how briefly—you feel like you’re special too. He isn’t the only one to fall under her spell, but I get the impression that the others came and went while he remained, admiring her from afar.”

“Have you ever felt that way about someone?”

I think of Ashley, who seems a million miles away. “I did, yeah. That’s what made the second half of the chapter so appealing to me. He manages to catch her eye. She loves him back, and even though it doesn’t last, he doesn’t regret the ache in his heart because at least he had that experience. I never did, so I kept reading this chapter over and over, wanting to know what it felt like.”

“How long ago was this?”

I laugh without humor. “Please don’t make me answer that.”

“Recent then.”

I nod. “I’m not sure if it was love. I think it could have been, if she had ever noticed me, but she didn’t. Not really. I don’t think anyone ever has.”

“That’s not true,” Sarah says.

She leans toward me, only a fraction of an inch, but it’s enough to embolden me to lean in the rest of the way, and when our lips touch, I’m a little closer to knowing what love actually feels like.

Fourteen ↔ Chapter

The planets have aligned, allowing the impossible to happen: I’m getting along with Caleb’s father. Normally I try to avoid him, but he enlisted my help in building a new deck behind the house. Or perhaps drafted is more accurate, since I wasn’t given much choice, but it’s a timely reminder. I need to talk to Major McCain about my plans to enroll in ROTC. What better opportunity to do so than while we’re working together?

In my old life, manual labor always left me feeling weak and incapable. Caleb’s hands are stronger and rougher, which makes it fun to tear down the old deck and haul away the wood. I’m actually looking forward to rebuilding it while learning carpentry skills. Major McCain might not be an emotionally nurturing parent, but he is a good teacher, clear and direct in his instructions while remaining open to questions.

We’re driving back from the hardware store in my truck, the bed filled with the lumber we’ll need. Conversation comes easy. We mostly talk about the project, although Major McCain also tells me how much he learned as a boy when building a shed with his father. It makes me realize how much I missed out on. I wonder what skills my dad would have taught me, had he played a bigger part in my upbringing. Maybe we would have shared moments like these too. I would have liked that, judging from how much I’m enjoying this experience. Feeling unusually comfortable in Major McCain’s presence, I broach the subject that has been troubling me.

“Eddie was telling me about ROTC.”

Caleb’s father snorts. “Don’t tell me he plans to go that route.”

“No. He’s not interested in college.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“I might be though. I could get my degree out of the way without having to worry about student loans.” I doubt this reason will impress him, but I’m not finished. I’ve done my research since meeting Eddie, and it’s time to play the ace up my sleeve. “Once I graduate, I’d go straight to Officer Training School. Ten weeks of that and I’ll make second lieutenant.” Here comes the best part. “I’d be on my way to becoming a major, like you.”

“No,” my father huffs, “not like me. I didn’t cheat!”

I glance over to see him clenching his jaw. Once again, I feel like I’ve walked into the middle of a minefield. “Cheat?”

“To lead men, you need to be one of them.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I enlisted just like everyone else and went straight into BMT.”

Basic Military Training. In other words, bootcamp, which is exactly what I’m hoping to avoid. Especially since it leads directly to…

“Active duty will teach you what you really need to know. Practical training. I’m pleased that you’re showing initiative, Caleb. You never mentioned becoming an officer before, but you can’t expect men to respect you unless you’ve been through the same trials they have.”

“I’ll still need a bachelor’s degree if I’m going to become an officer.”