Page 125 of Switch!

“What?”

“Why not? The more of us there are, the more we’ll be able to accomplish.”

I’m already shaking my head. “You haven’t met her. Gismonda wasn’t unfriendly exactly, but she wasn’t warm and cuddly either.”

“Okay, but we should definitely grill her for answers. Maybe she knows something about my magic ears. Hey, forget about Portland. Let’s go to Seattle tomorrow!”

The last time I needed guidance, Gismondahadprovided it to me, in her own roundabout way. I’m doubtful she can help me more than she has. Trixie is a different matter. She should have the opportunity to meet Gismonda and ask her own questions, so I agree.

I just hope she doesn’t knock me out of my body again. Or make us attend another group meeting. I honestly can’t decide which would be worse.

Twenty-nine ↔ Chapter

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I’m no longer in bed. That’s when I realize that Patrick’s body is already up. I’m simply late to the party. He’s sitting on the edge of the indoor pool, naked except for boxers, his legs dangling in the water. I’m worried that he plans to drown himself. I attempt to wiggle my toes. They don’t move. He’s in full control. I could probably take over, but first, I’d like to know what he’s doing.

Patrick isn’t moving much, aside from gently kicking his feet through the water. His thoughts aren’t transparent to me, so I give them a nudge with some loud thinking.

What’s going on?

Patrick goes still. “Are you in there?”

I’m impressed.Yeah. It’s me.

Patrick resumes moving his feet through the water. “Good evening, Travis Anderson.”

Hey. How are you able to hear me so clearly? None of the other bodies I’ve inhabited could.

“I guess they hadn’t seen as many episodes of Star Trek as me. Like you said when we first met, possession is a concept that show kept returning to. Sometimes more than once in the same season.”

Ha! Maybe you’re a natural. You’ve done more inside the black box than I ever managed to.

“I’m an engineer. Building is in my blood. The black box is the ideal world for me to inhabit. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

I’m all ears. Like a Ferenghi.

The reference makes Patrick laugh, but I can feel him grow somber again. “She would have loved this. A private indoor pool. Swimming wasn’t a summer hobby for Serena. She did it all year round. I fantasized about being able to build her a pool one day. Especially when having to drive her back and forth on all those winter days. I wanted her to have a pool at home, along with anything else she needed. Now I can give it to her.”

In the black box.

“Yes. I know it’s not really her. She doesn’t surprise me with sharp observations like she used to, or keep me on my toes with her endless questions. But it’s better than nothing. I know you wanted to help me, Travis. You’re very kind. I don’t know all of your story, but I’ve seen glimpses. I know what happened to Caleb and how that left you without a body. I’d like to give you mine.”

That’s not what I—

“I know. You’d rather help me return to the person I used to be, but he’s gone. That version of Patrick drowned with my daughter. I find that easier to accept now. The conversations you and Trixie had, the thoughts you let yourself think because I wasn’t willing to… that helped. I’m done denying what happened. I’ve accepted it as much as I can. I’ll never get over the injustice of such a young and promising life being taken so randomly, but I’ve embraced the truth, and I’m here to tell you that I still have no interest in living. There isn’t anything left for me in the real world. Before you mention Laura, I know that she moved on. She’s too strong, too smart, not to have.”

You can’t be sure.

“Perhaps, but I’m asking you to take what I’m saying at face value. I’m content to remain in the black box. I no longer need my body. You can have it. If you want me to be happy, this is the only way for that to happen.”

I want to argue with him, debate each point, but it seems disrespectful. I only have an inkling of what losing a child feels like. I don’t understand it as fully as he does. Before I can agree to do what he wants, I have to be equally honest in return.

I won’t give up. Not entirely. If I can find a way to help you, I will. Until then, I won’t bother you anymore.

“I’ll be at peace,” Patrick says. “Remember that. Oh, and ease off the credit card. I know you don’t have much experience with such things, but if the bank notices him using the same account in two different states, it’s going to raise alarms. Okay?”

Good advice.

“I’m going now,” Patrick says. “You should take control again so we don’t fall into the pool and…” He sighs, and for a moment, we share the pain of his loss. “I’ll never be able to bring Serena back, but I can at least give you back the life you lost. I only wish it was that easy for everyone.”