Page 20 of Sweet Temptation (Love & Legacy #1)

LEXIE

I will always be that girl who believes love will save us all...

I just know there’s no saving me.

—Lexie’s Secret Thoughts

W hen I sneak downstairs in the middle of the night, I’m careful to be as silent as possible. I haven’t managed to avoid Lucky all day for him to corner me now. But sleep hasn’t come for me tonight. Not even a minute of it, and I need to clear my head.

I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed to see I’m alone when I step into the kitchen, but I choose to focus on the relief. I’m not ready to face Lucky yet. This man has let me down twice in my life, and I’m not willing to give him a third chance. Screw that.

I yank open the fridge to decide what I feel like eating and find a tinfoil-covered plate with a pink sticky note on top, staring back at me.

Eat me.

–Lucky

PS – I’m sorry.

What in the world?

I peel back the tinfoil like I’m expecting a snake to be coiled up, ready to strike.

Big surprise—there’s not. I kinda wish there had been as I place the plate on the counter and stare at the omelet.

It’s not pretty. The eggs are brown from cooking them at too high of a temperature, and the red peppers look burned, but neither matters.

He made me an omelet. My heart pangs in my chest as I pick up the plate and step on the pedal opening the trash can.

“What are you doing?” Lincoln asks as he joins me in the kitchen.

“Nothing.” I shrug. “I decided I’m not hungry.”

“What are you so pissed about, Lex?” He takes the plate from me and puts it in the microwave. “Was it what I said?”

“I’m not talking about this with you, Linc.” I move around him and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “Good night.”

“He’s sorry, you know.”

I do know that.

I also know last night was a mistake.

A mistake that’s my fault.

So basically, everything that happened today was my fault too.

“Yeah. Me too, Linc. Me too .” I don’t get back out of bed for the rest of the night.

I don’t sleep either. Just think about the ugly little omelet and try not to cry.

“ Y ou look like shit, kid.” Dad leans across the Sweet Temptations counter later that week and kisses my cheek. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, Daddy. I’m fine.” I grab an everything bagel and hold it up. “Do you want it toasted?”

He grabs a twenty out of his wallet and throws it on the counter with a smirk. He never wants change. Just tells me to keep it as a tip. Such a dad. “How’d you guess?”

“Hmm... could it be because you’ve been here for almost all my shifts since we reopened?” I spin around and grab a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and hand it to him. “You do have an office, you know.”

“Aww, honey, I know. But the view is so much better here.” He takes the orange juice from me and grabs a napkin. “Thanks. Your mother wanted me to remind you she’s going with you to the pulmonologist today.”

“I know, Dad. Now go work.” I shoo him away and finish, then turn to Mae. “Okay. I’m going into the back to work on the special orders for today. Let me know if you need anything.”

Mae grins at my dad and nods. “You know your dad is super hot, right, Lexie?

“You might not want to say that in front of my mom,” I kid as I walk away, ready to get lost in some chemistry for a few hours.

I snap a pic of the three-tiered chocolate cake covered in fondant with beautiful Hogwarts detailing and Hedwig sitting on a wand on the top tier, then add it to my Instagram with a smile. #Kroydonhillscakes #Sweettemptations

Now this is my idea of fun.

My playlist switches to “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes, and I sing along badly as I check the time and start to clean up the kitchen.

“Knock, knock.” Lucky walks through the swinging kitchen doors, scaring the shit out of me, and powdered sugar spills everywhere. “Shit, Lex. Sorry.”

I look up at him through a sugar-filled plume of white dust and blow it out of my face.

And for a moment, I forget I’m mad. I just smile when I see Lucky.

He looks good, but he always does. A black backward baseball hat sits on his head with a few stray curls tucked behind his ears, and matching black gym shorts hang from his lean hips.

But it’s the sleeveless gray tee that shows off his beautifully inked and muscled arms that absolutely does me in.

Those arms make me think very bad thoughts.

Thoughts about a night spent in those arms. Thoughts that remind me exactly how pissed I am at him and immediately lose the smile. “Your mom’s not here.”

“Lex . . .”

I ignore him and grab a rag to clean up the sugar, but Lucky moves into my space and stops me without ever touching me. “Look at me, Lexie.”

For a hot minute, I consider closing my eyes just to piss him off.

“In case you haven’t noticed, Lucky, I’ve been avoiding you. Cornering me at work isn’t cool.” Okay, that might not have been as satisfying as closing my eyes just to be defiant, but it was much more responsible, and I’m pretty sure that’s as good as it’s getting at the moment.

“Did you get my omelets?” Apparently, Lucky can’t take a hint though.

“I did,” I admit, already losing some of my edge. “I got them both.”

“And... How were they? I mean, I know they’re not as good as yours, but?—”

“I didn’t eat them.” And why does admitting that make me feel like a bitch? Why should I feel bad when he’s the one in the wrong? “But it looks like you’re getting better. Last night’s didn’t have any brown spots.”

Lucky takes a step closer, and the table behind me stops me from backing up. “I’m sorry, Lex. I thought...” He shakes his head like he’s searching for the right words, but I’m not sure the right words exist. “I thought if Linc was cool with us, maybe you’d be good with us too.”

He reaches out slowly, giving me time to stop him if I want, and cups my cheek. And my God, that one touch sears my skin like only Lucky ever has. “I shouldn’t have said anything to Linc. I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

“Lucky, it wasn’t that you said anything to Linc.

I told you what I had to give. I told you one night, and you accepted that.

I was up front and honest with you about what I had to give, and the next day you completely ignored everything I had said.

And you involved my brother.” My voice shakes with each word.

As much from trying to control my tone—so Mae and anyone else on the other side of the doors doesn’t hear us arguing—as from hurt and anger with myself and with Lucky.

“It was a mistake. We never should have spent the night together in the first place.”

Lucky bends his knees and lowers his face to mine. Anger replacing the hurt that was shining in his eyes a minute ago. “We are not a mistake, Alexis. We never were. My only mistake was wasting years not going after what I wanted.”

“Keep your voice down,” I snap and back away as I look at the door to see if Mae heard him. “I’m not doing this here while I’m at work.”

He refuses to give me the space I should desperately want and wipes the sugar from my face, dragging his thumb slowly over my cheek. “Well, you don’t want to do it at home either, and we need to have this conversation. So you tell me where and when, and I’ll be there.”

“Hey, Lex—” Mom’s voice cuts off as she walks into the kitchen and stops.

Shit.

“Umm... I can just—” She points to the door. “I’ll just wait for you in the—out there. I’ll wait out there.”

“Thank you very much for what is now going to be the most uncomfortable doctor’s appointment of my life,” I growl, pushing out of his hold, and finish cleaning up the supplies I was putting away when he interrupted.

“What doctor? What’s wrong?”

Trying to ignore the concern in his voice isn’t easy as I straighten up the kitchen and grab my purse, and when I turn around, the look in his eyes almost guts me. “I’m fine,” I tell him softly. “It’s a routine checkup. Go home, Lucky.”

“Lex . . .”

I shake my head. “I’ve got to go.”

And somehow, it hurts even worse to walk away today.

“ W ant to tell me what that was about?” my mother asks as we head into the city for my appointment. I promised her she could come with me to my appointment and then we’d do dinner, just the two of us. I might be regretting that promise right about now.

“Not really,” I admit and look away.

“It looked serious,” she pushes, and I wonder how long it would take me to walk to UPenn Hospital. “It also looked... intimate .”

“Mom—”

“Alexis. We’ve got thirty minutes with traffic. You might as well tell me because I’m not going to drop it.”

She won’t either. She could make pestering an Olympic sport.

I try to come up with a way to talk about this without talking about this but struggle. “Lucky is upset because he’s not getting what he wants, and I’m upset because he’s not respecting what I want.”

Mom’s eyes look bigger than my fondant owl’s were earlier, so I say, “Oh my God, no. He respected those wishes.”

“Okay.” She takes a few deep breaths. “You’re going to have to do a little better than that, dear.”

“Can we please keep this between us?” I plead softly as she smiles. “I mean it, Mom.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Lucky and I...” Why is this so hard?

Is it because I’m mad or frustrated with Lucky or is it because I don’t want to admit what I already know?

“Lucky wants a relationship, and I don’t.

That’s the general gist of it. He told me he was okay without more, and he lied.

He’s not. He wants the whole thing. He wants a relationship.

He wants Linc and Loch to know. He wants everyone to know.

And I don’t even want a boyfriend, much less a relationship that my brothers are involved in. ”

“And your brothers knowing is what’s upsetting you?” I can already tell from the tone in her voice she’s not understanding where I’m coming from.

“No. A relationship. I don’t want it, and he does. He said he’d be okay without it, but he’s not. That’s what I’m upset about.”

“Oh, honey. That’s because that boy has been in love with you for half his life. You can’t really be that blind.”

“I’m sorry, what?” I push, a denial on the tip of my tongue that vanishes before I can give words to it.

Mom stops at a red light and looks at me. “You are not a stupid woman, Alexis. Don’t act like it now. Do you not want a relationship because it’s him or do you not want a relationship at all?”

The question hurts more than it should.

Partly because I know the answer, and partly because I don’t want to share it with her.

“If I ever had a relationship, he’s the only person I’d want it with,” I murmur, stunned I admitted that to myself or to her. “But I don’t want one, and he knew that.”

We pull into the parking garage, and she turns off the car and turns toward me.

A sad smile sits on her lips as she runs her fingers through my hair.

“I’m not going to ask you why you don’t want a relationship.

That’s your business, and you’ll tell me when you’re ready.

But I am going to tell you something you may not want to hear. ”

She brings both hands to my cheeks and frames my face.

“You have a very low tolerance for forgiveness. It’s always been easy for you to write people off.

You have your people, your circle, and you love them with your whole heart.

But I’ve watched you slowly cut everyone else out of your life over the years.

You don’t forgive. You just move on. Don’t do that to Lucky. ”

A sadness washes over her, and my skin crawls with how badly I want to get out of this car. “There are no guarantees in life, but that man, Lex...” She shakes her head and drops her hands. “Hear him out. Give him a chance. Don’t write him off.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I admit to her and myself.

Because if I talk to him, I might give in, and no matter how badly I wish I could, I know I’d be leaving him hurting more in the end.