Page 54 of Surviving Love

“Maybe so, but it felt good.”

I wiped off and handed his shirt back. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. I suppose that showed my inexperience even more. Jack seemed fine, like jerking off with a guy he barely knew was an everyday occurrence.

“Gotta take a piss.” He pulled up his shorts and left the shelter.

If I’d been back in LA, I’d have bolted for home the minute he left. But I wasn’t home. I was trapped in a hut for the foreseeable future with a stranger I’d just masturbated with.

What the hell was I thinking?

When he returned, I ventured out into the rain to relieve my bladder too. I stayed out longer than necessary, just trying to gather my composure. The ground was soaked, unable to absorb the large amounts of water being dumped from the sky. The spot Jack had picked to build the lean-to was slightly elevated. He’d made a good decision because all around our shelter, it looked like a small lake.

Lightning flashed above the tall, swaying palm trees. I paced outside the shelter, trying to talk myself down. I’d done a dumb thing, there was no denying that. But we were both adults. We’d both wanted it. I told myself that sexual arousal was nothing to be ashamed of. Acting on our physical need made things awkward, but what was done was done. It was no big deal.

There was a loud crash of thunder, and I winced and glanced up at the dark sky. I’d have given anything to see the sun break through those black clouds, just so I didn’t have to go back inside the shelter. After what we’d done with each other, how did we go back to making small talk?

Besides jerking off strangers, what hobbies do you enjoy?

I must have stayed away longer than I realized because Jack came outside to find me. The sky was still thick with clouds, but it was lighter now. I was behind the shelter, leaning against a tree as he approached.

His expression was emotionless as he stopped in front of me. “What happened is no big deal, Mason.”

Heat touched my cheeks. “I know.”

“Then why are you hiding outside?”

I scowled. “I’m not hiding.”

“You’re standing out in the rain.”

“I needed some fresh air.”

He sighed. “Come on, don’t be dumb.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re overreacting.”

“How, when I’m literally not doing anything?”

He shifted impatiently. “Come back inside. I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

“I’m not worried about you attacking me. I seriously needed some fresh air. I’ve been stuck inside since yesterday.”

His gaze flickered. “Okay. I guess that’s true. But I don’t think that’s the only reason you’re out here.”

I shrugged. “You don’t have to believe me.”

“You’re embarrassed. I can see it clearly.”

“Fine. I’m embarrassed. I think anyone would be in this situation.”

“I’m not.”

“Anyone normal.”

He scowled. “Really, Mason?”

I gritted my teeth. “You’re trying to shame me for feeling awkward about what happened.”