Page 23 of Summer Skin

CHASE MATTHEWS IShere.

Standing in Aven’s kitchen, looking like a dark-haired, scruffy-jawed dream in boot-cut jeans. Looking even more impossibly gorgeous than the last time Aven laid eyes on him.

Which was almost five long years ago.

Not that he’s been counting or anything.

His eyes are fixed on Chase, who’s watching Aven back just as intently, this electric spark of energy coursing between the two of them. An all-consuming flare of connection that Aven can’t contain is bursting to life, just like the very first time he laid eyes on him.

A pointed shot of memory hits Aven like a dart, square in the chest, and instantaneously, he’s shocked back to high school. Kissing under a sea of shining stars, skipping class, creating music, creating trust, creating love.

An uncontrollable shiver snakes through his body, and Aven forces himself to break eye contact, snapping himself out of their past. It’s fucked up, seeing Chase all these years later. So much about him is familiar—the dark, messy hair and deep brown eyes, the way he’s biting at his lower lip. Even the ratty concert tee he’s wearing tight around his chest could have been plucked straight from his high school closet.

And even though Chase has filled out with new lines and lean muscles that Aven’s never laid a hand on, there’s still something so intimately recognizable about his shape that it hurts to see him. Despite Aven’s very best efforts at erasing his memories of first love, he hasn’t forgotten how much he liked touching that body.

Not even a little bit.

“There you are,” Veena says, interrupting Aven’s turn down memory lane. She hops from the countertop to find her way into his arms.

Aven squeezes her tightly, letting the familiar scent of her shampoo soothe the ache filling his chest, the shock of finding his past in the here and now.

“We missed you,” Ben says, coming in for a hug from behind. He nuzzles in a little, making a contented sound like he’s that happy Aven’s back. It’s like Mr. Rogers”s spirit was reincarnated into the well-muscled body of a handsome Korean American man in his twenties who won’t stop using motivational speeches to get Aven to wash his own dishes at night instead of leaving them dirty in the sink.

“Missed you too, B,” Aven tells him, meaning it.

After hellos are exchanged with Tyler and Justin, who look just as sickeningly infatuated with each other as they did the day Aven left for tour, Ben bounds over to Chase, like he’s presenting some sort of goddamn prize.

“Aaaand,”—Aven can almost hear the drumroll in his tone— “this is our new roommate, Chase!”

There’s a brief moment of silence where Aven wonders if they’re going to pretend they don’t know each other at all, haven’t touched each other in a million different ways, and then Chase clears his throat, plasters on a smile, and says, “It’s real good to see you again, Aven.”

Oh, jesus. His name. Chase still says his name in that same soft, melodic, stomach-swooping way he did when they were back in school.

Aven holds his gaze for a moment, giving a slow nod. “Been a while.”

“Well…” Chase says, and there’s an incredibly long pause before he gives a sort of half shrug and answers, “Yeah.”

“You two know each other?” Tyler asks.

Chase glances his way, a questioning look in his eyes, and Aven realizes it’s going to be up to him how much they tell.

“We went to high school together,” Aven answers. Chase’s expression closes off a bit, but it’s the truth. Just not all of it.

“Ohhh. Juicy.” Veena’s fingers slide along Aven’s shoulders, giving him a little tug towards her side. “Chase, you can tell us all of Aven’s childhood secrets.”

She’s laughing, like it’s a joke, but the truth is … Chase could. He could tell the group crowded around the kitchen island a whole hell of a lot about a side of Aven they’ve never seen. Could tell them what a fucking sucker he used to be to trust in a make-believe thing called love.

“Sure,” Aven says, forcing a smirk. “Only it was so long ago, I’m sure none of it is still kicking around in his head.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Chase replies after a beat, looking off to the side, refusing to meet Aven’s eyes. “I’m sure I could remember a thing or two if I tried.”

Oof. And all at once, this was way too much to take. The original rush of adrenaline caused by finding Chase in his home, their home now, apparently, is fading fast, and in its place is a painful sort of heartache he’d rather not spread around the kitchen.

Or let Chase see at all.

“So,” Aven says, hitching a thumb towards the doorway, “I gotta go unpack. Make myself at home again.”

“Of course, dude,” Ben tells him, with a shooing motion of his hand. “Go get settled. Party’s on in an hour. Come down whenever you’re ready.”

Aven nods, tossing out a half-hearted smile before heading upstairs. He can hear his friends descending on Chase like a hungry pack of animals almost as soon as his feet cross the kitchen threshold.

Justin starts with, “Did Aven always kill it at guitar?”

Then, “Did Aven get as much ass then as he does now?” That’s Vee.

Their voices fade as Aven makes his way up the stairs, and he can’t help the tiny thrill of sick satisfaction at leaving Chase to the wolves.

Just like Chase left him behind.

***

There’s a short knock on his bedroom door a couple of hours later and Veena peeks her head inside.

Setting the guitar he’s been mindlessly strumming aside, Aven waves her in, scooting over to make more room on the bed.

“What’s with you not making an appearance at your own welcome home party?” she asks, dropping down beside him. “We’ve been wondering when you’d come down. Ben made a bunch of your favorite foods.”

“Mac and cheese balls?”

“Yep,” she says, the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips. “But they’re all gone now.”

“Every last bite?”

“Tyler tried to save you one, but I was hungry, and you weren’t around.”

“You’re cruel, Vee.”

She cocks an eyebrow. “Pure villain.”

He boops the tip of her nose and she swats him away, still trying to give off evil queen vibes. “You coming down or do I need to cast a spell to get your ass to the ball?”

He looks at her for a moment, trying to decide if there’s any way to get out of this tonight. “Chase down there?”

“Sure is. That boy’s got a solo guitar show going on in the living room. Captive audience, too. Did you know he used to play for Paranormal Romance?”

Used to? Aven wasn’t aware Chase was no longer with the band. He pinkie-swore with his own two hands years back not to follow Chase on any social media, but still, word gets around in the music community from time to time. As far as Aven knew, Chase was still happily attached to Paranormal Romance ... and Trent Williams.

“Were you friendly in high school?” Veena props herself up on an elbow and gives him a curious look. For a few wavering seconds, he considers opening up, but doesn’t feel ready to spill his guts all over the floor. What happened between him and Chase isn’t something he ever talks about.

To anyone.

“More like rivals,” he tells her, twisting a strand of her wavy black curls between his fingers and giving a tug. It’s not entirely a lie. That’s what they were to each other.

At first.

“Oh, shit,” she says, her eyes going wide. “So, this whole living situation is going to be a little …”

“A lot awkward.”

“Why don’t you say something to Ben and Tyler?”

“Say what exactly? The guy you’ve all been creaming over for the past week did me dirty when we were kids and I’m still too up in my feelings about it to move on?” Which is, in fact, the actual truth, but Aven’s not about to turn their house into an episode of The Real World over Chase Matthews.

“Okay, nobody’s been creaming over him,” Veena denies.

Aven gives her a sideways look. He knows better. “So, you haven’t already tried to get into his pants?”

Veena raises her palm in a guilty gesture. “Well … look, he turned me down? So, there was no creaming to be had.”

“So you’re only metaphorically orgasming over him.”

“Well,” she says, widening her eyes, giving him a helpless look, “I mean, have you seen him?”

Seen way more of him than she might guess. And yeah, Veena’s right. Chase Matthews is fucking gorgeous. Aven’s thought so from the moment he first laid eyes on him across the hallway in high school. Watching Andi chat him up against a wall of locker doors. He could see the interest in Andi’s eyes, the way they followed every movement Chase made. And Aven stood frozen as kids flowed by in either direction, catching glimpses that left him just as rapt as Andi, something about Chase causing an unfamiliar sensation in his chest. A fierce wave of heat that his heart skittered around. It made him uncomfortable. It made him feel raw. A feeling he didn’t know how to control, watching this stranger standing there in faded blue jeans, torn at one knee, resting casually against the lockers, effortlessly cool.

Because he was.

Chase had raked a hand through his dark brown hair, pushing it from his eyes, and a pang struck Aven deep inside. He’d misread it for jealous loathing at the time. Upset at the way Andi went so starry-eyed looking up at this boy, when Andi was his person, his very best friend. But it didn’t turn out to be hatred when his eyes looked at Chase Matthews. Not even a little bit.

So, yeah. Gorgeous. He can’t blame Vee for seeing that in Chase too.

“He’s kind of ridiculously hot,” Veena continues, oblivious to how much Aven really, really does not want to have a conversation about what a babe his ex may be.

“Not as hot as you,” she continues, taking in the sour grapes of his expression. “You know,” she says, letting her fingertips crawl towards his arm until she’s made skin-to-skin contact, “our roommate ban is officially over.”

Ahh. She’s right. Now that Veena’s moved out, the strict ‘no fucking roommates’ policy she put into place when he moved in has been lifted.

She’s staring at him with flirtatious eyes, a rosy flush heating her warm, brown skin. There’s always been an attraction between them. A what if sort of vibe that he’d considered on plenty of occasions. Even fantasized about once or twice.

But not tonight, not when there’s a sick knot from the past tying up his insides.

He can see the moment she realizes it’s not on, the tiny flash of disappointment in her gaze. “Mm, not tonight?” she asks.

“I don’t think so. But it’s good to see you.”

“It’s nice you’re back,” she says, sitting up and smoothing a hand over her hair. “You should come downstairs and make an appearance, your fans are waiting.”

From what she’s said, it sounds more like Chase is the one with a panting crowd at his guitar-playing feet, but Aven promises he’ll be down soon.

Into the fiery pit of exes.

Otherwise known as his living room.

His eyes go to the ceiling, seeking an answer for how to face Chase. He wishes for the hundredth time in the past hour that Andi were here with him, instead of working the bar tonight. But it’s still hours until closing, and he’s been warned countless times not to text during work hours unless it’s an emergency.

His head tilts to one side, considering. It’s not exactly like there’s blood gushing out of an orifice, but this is, like, an ALL-CAPS situation for sure, and under a certain light, a person might be able to count that as an emotional 911.

AVEN:HE’S HERE. IN MY HOME

ANDI:what! who? you mean the dude you banged with the hatchet collection? brian? goddamnit I told u not to go home with him! do you need me to call the cops???

AVEN:NO. CHASE MATTHEWS IS HERE. IN MY HOME!!!

AVEN:(Also, new rule, CAPSLOCK situations count as emergencies, fyi)

ANDI:are there mushrooms at ur party? did you take some? remember that time you dosed and talked to “chase” at the fremont troll for like five minutes before i had to tell you it was a dog? don’t take anything else until i get there!

Aven rolls his eyes. He didn’t really think the dog was Chase at all. In the moment, he’d had an overwhelming longing to see Chase again, and the shaggy-haired dog seemed like a good soul to explain the intense experience he was having to. Anyway, this texting is getting him nowhere.

Andi picks up on the second ring. “I can not baby you through a bad trip right now. I’m working!”

He can hear the clash and clang of Violet Moon in the background. It’s Friday night, and normally he’d be playing a set down there, but he has the weekend off to recover from the tour.

“Andi.”

“Aven?”

“I’m completely sober and completely serious. Chase is here. In my house.”

There’s a puff of breath in his ear, and then, “Oh, shit, one sec,” and the background noises fade away. “Okay, I ducked into the office, what the actual hell is going on over there?”

“I don’t fucking know!” he wails. “I left on tour and when I got back Veena’d been replaced with my own personal hell.”

“Have you talked to him yet?”

He sniffs. “I said hello.”

“Okay, that’s good. Definitely good. Way better than having a meltdown.”

“A meltdown?” Aven seethes. “Listen, Chase Matthews is just lucky I didn’t set his stupid hair on fire. Showing up uninvited to my house, in my kitchen, with my friends!” He presses the heel of his hand against his forehead, taking a deep breath before carrying on. “The Chase I knew … the Chase I thought I knew, would understand how much showing up out of the blue would hurt me.” And, god, maybe he does. Maybe that’s the whole point. Back for another knockout. “Well, screw him, and screw that! He doesn’t even deserve the time and energy of any meltdowns!”

“That’s right, babes. You feel better getting that out?”

“No.”

“Great. Listen, I’ll be over as soon as I’m off, okay? I’ll even ask if I can leave early. But I need you to do something for me, alright?”

“Maybe.”

“Go downstairs and talk to your friends, act chill, avoid Chase at all costs, and wait until I get there and we figure out what he wants. Make sense?”

“Yes.” It totally does. Because if he doesn’t march his ass down to his homecoming party shortly, people are going to really start wondering. People are going to talk, and the less said around Chase, the better.

“Thanks,” he said. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, Aves. Now go downstairs and be good, huh? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

They hang up, and he sits on the end of the bed with his head in his hands trying to summon the determination to get up. He’s been so angry at Chase, for so long. But there’s also a soft, tugging realization that if he walks into the party, he’ll meet the man Chase is now. A final click of the door closing on the boy who still lives in his head, the one he once loved so completely. The one he could talk to for hours, create music with for the rest of his life, make love to all night long. Back then, it was always about the two of them.

But it turned out that Chase needed the whole goddamn world to love him.

When Aven had only needed him.