Page 32 of Summer Nights (The Kingston Brothers #3)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ivy

When I woke up, Cooper was gone. I had a few showings this morning for a young couple looking for their first home on the island. I tried to keep my mind on the work and not on why Cooper had left without at least leaving a note.

I vowed not to panic or assume that he was pulling away, but it was hard not to when all the facts pointed to my worst fears.

I showed the couple three homes: a condo, a townhouse, and an older home that needed lots of work.

They were disappointed with how far their money stretched on this tourist hotspot.

I was used to these appointments by now.

They'd have to increase their budget, save more money, or wait to buy at another time.

It was possible they'd chose one of the options I'd already shown them too.

The real-estate prices and corresponding interest rates continued to rise from year to year. It complicated my job for newer homeowners. I wanted to find everyone their ideal home, but that wasn't always possible.

It was getting harder to show houses in heels too. I'd need to listen to Cooper and switch to flats soon. Everything ached: my hips, my stomach, and my feet. I headed home with the intention to take my afternoon nap.

Cooper's truck still wasn't parked outside, and I tried not to worry about what he was up to on a Saturday. But if he was at Dalton's or Shep's, wouldn't he have texted by now?

I was too exhausted to deal with it. I'd worry about it when I woke up. I fell onto the bedspread, not even bothering to pull back the comforter, and passed out. I woke up three hours later, feeling groggy.

The room was dark, and I didn't hear any noises in the house. I grabbed my phone, not seeing any messages from Cooper. I couldn't wait any longer. Panic settled into a pit in my stomach.

Ivy: Are you okay?

Cooper: Yeah, just stopped by Dalton to see him. Be back before dinner.

That was something at least. But if he was just going to see his brother, why not say something ahead of time?

I shouldn't panic when he did something different from his previous pattern, but I couldn't help it.

I'd been programmed to look for signs that someone didn't want to be around me so that I could make necessary adjustments to avoid getting hurt.

My mom's boyfriends came and went, whether we liked them or not. My father couldn't even bother to stick around to meet me. Why would Cooper be any different?

I'd promised to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I wasn't doing that.

I was jumping to conclusions. I decided to pamper myself and take a bath in the master bath.

I attempted to read a book, but the words swam on the page.

Unable to concentrate, I got out, dried off, and changed into comfortable clothes that were loose fitting.

When I went to the kitchen, I finally heard the rumble of Cooper's truck in the driveway. I was hungry because I hadn't bothered to eat before I took my nap, so I pulled out some crackers and cheese.

But Cooper didn't look happy when he came inside. He didn't greet me with a kiss or an apology for being so cryptic about his plans.

"Is Dalton okay?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even.

"Yeah, his baby is due any minute now, and Oakley's going back and forth on whether he should be in the delivery room. He wants to be there, but it's her decision."

I rested a hand on my belly, knowing I'd want Cooper next to me. I couldn't imagine doing this on my own. "I hope they can figure something out before she goes into labor."

Cooper leaned a hip against the counter. "Yeah. Me too."

I arranged the crackers and cheese on a plate, waiting for him to say what was on his mind.”

Cooper sighed. "I did something. I don't think you're going to be happy about it."

"What did you do?" I asked, unable to imagine he could do anything to upset me, other than disappear from my life.

"I hired a private investigator to find your father."

I lowered the cracker I was holding to the plate, suddenly not hungry. "Why did you do that?"

"I thought you deserved to know what happened to him. You've believed your entire life that he left you. That he didn't want anything to do with you."

I winced because that was my takeaway. "That doesn't mean I want to talk to him or hear what he has to say."

It was his turn to flinch. "I know I should have talked to you first, but I thought you'd say no."

I shook my head. "That was my decision to make. You shouldn't have gone behind my back."

"Hudson said you'd react like this."

Anger flashed through me, hot and heavy. "My father is my business. I get to make decisions regarding him, and I never had any intention of looking for him."

"I wanted to protect you." His voice tore through me.

I placed my hands on my hips. "Explain how searching for my father protects me?"

"I wanted to give you closure. If he could tell you that he never meant to leave you?—"

"Or he confirms everything I've thought about him all my life. He never wanted me, and I wasn't worth sticking around for." The pain sliced through me as if he'd struck me with a knife.

Cooper's jaw tightened. "Do you want to know what he said?"

"You talked to him?" He found my father. The man who'd been suspiciously absent my entire life. If it was so easy to find him, why hadn't he been here all along?

He nodded. "I spoke to him this morning."

"That's why you left so early. But you're already back. That means he's not far from here."

Cooper's expression was serious. "That's true."

Tears sparked under my lids. I hated that my father made me this emotional.

I wanted to blame it on the hormones, but this was a lot for anyone to handle.

"I don't think I want to hear what he said.

I can't bear it." I moved past Cooper, grabbing my key and purse from the table by the door. I slid my feet into flip-flops.

"Wait," Cooper said, moving after me. "There's more."

I held up my hand, not wanting to hear anything else. "I can't hear it right now."

"Will you let me know where you are? And that you're safe?" Cooper's voice was anguished.

I'll text you."

"Thank you."

I opened the door.

"And Ivy, please know that I never meant to hurt you." His voice was filled with grief.

"You hurt me when you didn't talk to me about this, when you kept it a secret from me." The pain in my chest throbbed in time with the beat of my heart.

"I'm so sorry," Cooper said softly.

"I am too." Because for once in my life, I'd let myself hope for more. For a relationship with a man. I trusted him, and he let me down. He went behind my back. The betrayal cut deep.

There was something about him knowing the truth about my father that welled up in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. He’d heard firsthand what my father thought about me. It was bad enough that I knew the truth, but for Cooper to hear it from the source?

I got into my SUV, not sure where I was going to go.

My condo hadn't sold yet, so I could go there.

It was the best solution because I didn't want to talk to anyone about this.

And as I drove, I couldn't quiet the nagging voice in my head that said I hadn't tried to sell the condo.

I'd wanted a safety net because I knew something like this would happen.

No matter how much I wanted to believe in Cooper, there was always a part of me that prepared for the inevitable breakup. I always took care of myself, and I couldn't even be upset about it because I needed the condo right now.

I parked in my designated spot and took the stairs to the third floor. It was slow going, but I didn't have any plans to leave today.

I'd burrow into my bed and not come out until I felt better.

I could order groceries to be delivered so I didn't need to walk the stairs again.

I could order nursery furniture, but I didn't know how to assemble it.

I wasn't sure how I was going to navigate the stairs with a baby and a stroller in tow.

This condo wasn't the ideal location for a single mom and a baby. But I didn't have to solve that problem tonight. I just needed to forget about everything that Cooper said: the fact that he went behind my back, that he talked to my dad, and that he knew my deepest shame.

Sleep was the only option. I kicked off my flip-flops and crawled into bed. It was dark and cool, and no one could bother me here. The only problem was that for the first time in my pregnancy, I couldn't fall asleep.

My mind kept replaying my conversation with Cooper. The betrayal. The knowledge that he'd done something without telling me. Something that had the power to destroy me.

I tossed and turned, unable to even cry myself to sleep. I finally ordered groceries to be delivered, and when the knock on the door came, I was happy to have something to eat.

I opened the door to sign when I saw Elena holding the plastic bags. "Delivery."

"What are you doing here?" I grumbled.

"It looks like you need help." She carried the bags into the condo and placed them on the counter. She started to unpack the groceries. As she pulled out one box of cut-up watermelon after another, she said, "Are you craving watermelon?"

"Something like that." I had a love-hate relationship with it because I craved the sugary sweetness, but it made me pee even more.

I opened the first box and popped one cube into my mouth.

Elena raised a brow. "What are you doing here?"

I scowled at her. "This is my condo."

She gave me a knowing look. "You were supposed to sell it when you moved in with Cooper."

I shrugged. "I couldn't sell it."

She gave me a look. "How hard did you try?"

"This complex is older and not near the beach," I said, plucking another cube of watermelon out of its package and throwing it into my mouth. "It wasn't a good investment."

"Uh-huh. So you didn't hang onto this place so that you have a place to go when Cooper met your expectations?"

"What are you even talking about?" I asked in a tone that suggested she was crazy.

"You knew he'd disappoint you, and you wanted an escape route."

"I'm pregnant and exhausted all the time. It was too much work to get this place ready to sell."

"You do that for a living, and Cooper would have helped you if you'd asked."

"He did enough." My sentence had a double meaning. He did a lot for me, but he went behind my back. It felt childish, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't feeling particularly generous right now. "How did you know to come here?"

"Cooper's at my house talking to Hudson. Before I left to give them privacy, Hudson asked that I check on you. This was the first place I thought to look."

I stilled. "You know what he did?"

"He told me so that I knew what was going on. Apparently, Hudson already knew about what he was doing."

"Why didn't he try to stop him?" I asked, bitterness creeping into my tone. The watermelon was half gone, and I knew I was going to regret it when I was up half the night in the bathroom.

"It sounded like Cooper had already hired an investigator by the time he talked to Hudson, and Hudson told him it was a bad move not to talk to you first."

"Oh, goodie. Someone else agrees with me," I said, my mouth full of watermelon.

Elena covered my hand with hers. "You know we're on your side."

"He talked to my father." My tears pricked with unshed tears. "He knows that my father never wanted me. That the idea of me was so abhorrent, he left and never came back for me." My own father didn't want me.

"So you talked to Cooper about what he found out?" Elena asked carefully.

I opened my mouth and then closed it. "Not exactly."

She frowned. "Then how do you know what your father said?"

"I don't." I moved into the living room, needing to sit down. My entire body ached, and I didn't think it had anything to do with the pregnancy itself. On top of the pain, the baby decided to kick me repeatedly as if he was already expressing his displeasure with me.

Elena sat across from me, her brow raised.

"Do you know what he said?" I finally asked, afraid of the answer.

"He didn't tell me, but how can you assume what was said?"

I pursed my lips. "Why else does a father leave a child? He doesn't want her."

"It might not be that simple. What if your mother told him to stay away?"

I scoffed. "That's ridiculous. She complained that he'd left her, that he didn't want me."

"What if that was her way of deflecting any blame for the situation? She pushed it on you instead, and you were too young to question any of it."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I should have listened to Cooper."

Elena nodded, pleased. "Yes."

I sighed. "I need to talk to him."

"You don't want there to be a miscommunication that takes this baby's father from them too," Elena pointed out unhelpfully.

"You play dirty."

Elena tipped her head to the side. "This isn't just about you anymore. You have the baby to consider. Doesn't he or she deserve to know their father?"

"Of course." I'd never keep them from Cooper.

"Then you need to clear the air with him."

I sighed. "How do I do that? He's at your place."

"Why don't you go home so you're there when he comes home? I'll help you get everything into your car."

"Fine."

She repacked the grocery bags while I ran to the bathroom, and then we headed down the stairs to my SUV. There was no way I could live in this condo pregnant or with a baby in tow.

At my car, she put the bags in the passenger seat. "Oh, and Ivy? You might want to talk to him about your feelings. If you like him or even love him, he deserves to know."

The tears came then, over the struggle I'd felt internally the last few weeks. "I'm afraid to love him."

Elena met me on my side of the car where I was holding the door open. "So you do love him?"

I nodded miserably, angrily swiping away the tears. "I tried not to. I didn't want to be dependent on him."

"Love isn't dependence. It's something so much bigger and more amazing."

Was that true? Had I made it into something it wasn't? "I'm afraid of getting hurt."

"And this thing with your father was your chance to push him away. You were looking for something, and it fit the bill."

"I don't like that he talked to my father without me," I said softly, feeling defeated. I'd messed up in not waiting to hear the whole story.

"But it's so much more than that. This was your chance to tuck and run. To protect yourself. But if you do that, you'll be just like your mother. Never putting yourself out there and truly living."

"You're making so much sense right now."

"That's because I've been through this already. Talk to Cooper. Tell him how you feel."

"I will." If he wanted to hear it. We hadn't discussed the possibility that he was done with me. That whatever he heard from my father, combined with my childish response, was too much.

What if he decided he didn't want me?