Page 11 of Summer Nights (The Kingston Brothers #3)

Chapter Nine

Ivy

"You can't possibly want to be a father." The words were bitter on my tongue.

"I'm not saying I had plans for it right now, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't on my mind with Dalton and Marshall having children and everyone pairing off with their significant others."

I shook my head, dipping my spoon in the ice cream. "Once you realize what's required, you'll think differently."

"You forget I have younger siblings. I know exactly how much work they were when they were little. I've kept Shep in line my entire life."

That was the first time I'd ever heard him complain about his twin. "They why would you want to deal with this too?"

"Ivy, I know this is a shock, and neither of us expected a baby but I'm happy about how things turned out.”

I raised a brow, not sure what to believe. It was easier to repeat my childhood story. Fathers don't stick around. The sooner I got in line with that truth, the better I'd feel. "You are?"

He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, "I can't help but think this baby was meant to be."

I ate another scoop of ice cream, letting the cool flavor melt on my tongue. I knew the truth. Babies were expensive, they required a lot of things, and they needed a lot of support from their parents. Was I cut out for this? "I wanted to be there for my siblings. How can I do both?"

Cooper shook his head. "You don't see yourself very well. You'll excel as a mother and a big sister. You could stay home, but I bet you'll want to work and be a mom. You'll want to have everything, and you'll do it with ease."

I let the spoon dangle from my finger, the ice cream forgotten. How did he see that? I didn't even know that about myself. "How do you know?"

"You're incredible."

I scoffed, even as his words worked their way through my body, leaving tingles in their wake.

My mom never wanted to understand me, and I only let my friends see what I wanted them to.

Cooper saw below the surface. Was he right?

Would I be a good mother? "You don't think I'm making a huge mistake by going through with this? "

"This baby will be loved by so many people."

I blew out a breath.

"You'll give this a chance?"

I narrowed my gaze on him. "I'm having this baby, if that's what you mean. I'm not signing on for a relationship with his or her father."

The skin around Cooper's eyes crinkled as a slow smile spread over his face. "Fair enough."

"Elena said I need to make an appointment with my doctor to verify the pregnancy. But from what I researched, five at home pregnancy tests probably aren't wrong."

"Do you mind if I came with you to your appointment? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I'd like to be there for you."

I nodded, my throat tight. How could I argue with that sweet sentiment?

I wasn't convinced that he wouldn't change his mind, maybe request a paternity test or decide that he wanted nothing to do with me and the baby.

It would be awkward, considering how close we were with our friends.

But I didn't trust that anyone would be there for me.

"How did you know you were pregnant?" Cooper asked.

"I keep track of my period on my phone. It was late." I managed everything in my life with spreadsheet-like precision, so when it didn't come, I freaked out. Thankfully, Elena offered to help me.

"You aren't having any symptoms?"

I shook my head. "Not that I've noticed. But it's early."

"You want to share that ice cream?" Cooper waved a hand at the carton, which was quickly melting now.

She handed me the container. "Have at it."

We focused on the home renovation show. The familiar cadence of the host’s voice was comforting even as my life was imploding. I had plans for my life. Work hard, be successful, and save as much money as I could to support myself and my siblings. Getting pregnant wasn't on the list.

I'd never been confronted with something like this. I felt out of control. As if my entire life plan had just been set on fire. How could I support my siblings if I was raising a baby on my own?

Cooper was here now. But there was no guarantee he'd stick around. And I wouldn't beg him to stay. I'd promised myself a long time ago that if my father showed up, I wouldn't give him anything. He didn't deserve a second of my time. And I wouldn't beg Cooper to be a father to this baby either.

When we got sick of the ice cream, I put the carton in the freezer. I had an urge to open a bottle of wine, but I was pregnant. My go-to stress reliever wasn't available to me anymore.

When I returned to the living room, Cooper was watching me. "Everything okay?"

I shrugged. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because you just got big news."

My phone started buzzing with a string of texts. I picked it up. "The girls are on one long message chain. It can get out of control at times."

"I'm on one with my family, but we don't use it often. Just when we need to get together for a family event."

"Lucky you," I said as I skimmed through the string. "They’re talking about how Brady declared his love for Hazel at the end of the interview.”

"I'm glad they figured things out."

"Yeah, me too." I set the phone aside, feeling a pang of jealousy. I wasn't used to that feeling. I'd long ago decided that my life was different from other people’s and comparing myself to my friends only caused heartache. I made the best of my circumstances and persevered.

But for a few seconds, I'd let myself wallow. Our friends were in love. They were going to get married at some point and have a family. I was doing everything backward. "I never thought I'd be in this position. I was always so careful."

Cooper's brow furrowed. "I put it on late both times.”

Ivy sighed.

"It doesn't matter how it happened," I finally said.

"No, it doesn't."

"But for now, I think we should keep it quiet. Most people don't tell their friends and family they're pregnant until after the first trimester."

"If that's what you want to do."

"That will give me time to process everything and to make a plan."

Cooper touched my thigh. "You don't have to have everything figured out."

My stomach flip-flopped at his touch. "I won't be able to relax until I do."

"You don't think this will be more of a day-to-day situation? We don't know what we even need to worry about yet."

I nodded. "I'll do some research."

"It's okay to just sit with the news and process what it means for you, physically and emotionally. You don't have to have everything figured out."

"Then you don't know me very well. I need to get on top of this." I'd research what I needed to do and all the things I'd need to buy.

"I don't want you to be stressed out. It can't be good for the baby."

His hand on my thigh was comforting, grounding me in this moment. "I won't be able to relax until I know the next steps."

"I can understand that," Cooper finally said, but I could tell he was concerned.

All of a sudden, it was too much having him in my space. I needed to be able to breathe, to think. "I'm exhausted.”

He removed his hand and stood. "I'll leave you alone. But call me if you need me."

"I will," I said as I followed him to the door. I could already see myself pulling back from whatever this was. We wouldn't be fucking against random walls anymore. I was going to be a mother. He'd move on, and I'd be a single mom.

I squared my shoulders. I'd supported myself since I was a kid. I could do this too. I wouldn't let my child live the same way I did. I would raise them in a loving and secure home.

He turned to face me. "I feel weird leaving you like this."

"I'm going to take a bath and go to bed." In reality, I was going to do some research on my laptop. I needed to know what I was in for.

He nodded. "That's a good idea. Let me know when you schedule your appointment."

"I will."

Finally, he turned to go, and I shut the door behind him. I let out the pent-up breath from my lungs and grabbed my laptop from my bag. I sat at the table and searched what to expect when you're pregnant. There was so much information; I was quickly overwhelmed.

There were so many things to think about, to plan for, and to buy. Babies were expensive. How was I going to continue to live in this condo on the third floor of a building without an elevator? With the amount of gear I'd be lugging around, it would be difficult.

It was only a one-bedroom, and the walls were thin. I couldn't imagine my neighbors would appreciate a baby crying all hours of the night.

I closed my eyes. How was I going to work with a baby? I couldn't exactly bring him or her with me in a baby carrier when I showed houses.

Sure, some people would be okay with that. But most wouldn't. Especially any of the out-of-towners and business owners. Especially if I eventually wanted to break into the Captiva market. I needed to be professional. But I didn't have a family member who could watch the baby for me.

Deep into my search, my phone buzzed. It was Elena. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said absentmindedly as I continued to stare at my spreadsheet.

"Did you tell the father?" Elena asked.

I hadn't told her who it was yet. "Yes."

"How did he take it?" I could hear the concern in her tone.

"He asked if he was the father, or if there was a possibility it could be someone else's baby."

She let out a breath. "That's a fair question if you weren't in a relationship."

I sighed. "I suppose."

"Was he okay when you said it was?" Elena asked tentatively.

I pursed my lips, remembering how Cooper had seemed so concerned. "He seemed to be."

"Does he want to be involved?"

"For now." My voice was flat.

"You were worried about how he'd react." Elena seemed encouraged by the news.

"We'll see how things go. I'm pregnant for nine months, and then babies are a lot of work." It was best to be prepared to go it alone. That way, I wouldn't be disappointed when Cooper decided he didn't have time for me and the baby.

"Are you really okay?" Elena asked, and her concern sparked tears in my eyes.

"I will be." I just needed to do more research.

"Take your time to process everything, and let me know if you need anything."

"I'm not planning on telling anyone else." I wasn't ready for the girls to bombard me with their positive wishes. They'd have expectations of Cooper that I didn't.

"I'll keep your news to myself. You don't have to worry about me saying anything."

"I appreciate that." I needed more time to research. "I'm tired. I think I'll head to bed."

"I've heard that you can be very tired when you're pregnant," Elena said, her tone lighter than when she initially called.

"Thanks for being there for me today." I wouldn't forget that she'd come through for me in a way I didn't expect.

"That's what friends are for," Elena said, her voice more upbeat.

She didn't realize that I didn't expect friends to be there for me either. "Good night."

Elena hung up, and I refocused on the screen. There were so many things to consider. I'd already created several spreadsheets for every aspect of this pregnancy.

I searched for a place to live. I needed something practical. Maybe a two bedroom on one level. Most houses on the island were on stilts, and I didn't want to lug a stroller up and down steep stairs, and I couldn't afford a place with an elevator.

Frustrated with the options, I looked off the island. Maybe it would be better to leave and raise the baby somewhere where no one knew me. I didn't want to go far from my sister and brother though. Maybe Ft. Myers would be far enough. Somewhere I could be anonymous.

At the end of the day, I was alone. I'd raise this baby as a single mom. Even if Cooper wanted to be involved, he'd be here for the baby, not me. That was to be expected. We weren't in a relationship, and this baby wasn't planned for.

I felt sad and lonely. But it was the only way I'd ever known. I'd figure this out like I always did.

I had no one to count on but myself. Elena and Cooper were here now, but they wouldn't be here in the middle of the night when the baby wouldn't sleep.

I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears threatening to break through.

I didn't want this for myself. I thought I'd be smarter than my mom, to not get pregnant when I didn't have a partner.

I might have waited a while longer than her to get knocked up, but I was still my mother's daughter. Was I doomed to repeat her mistakes?