Page 20 of Summer Nights (The Kingston Brothers #3)

Chapter Fifteen

Ivy

I was dreading this conversation. Elena would be hurt that I hadn't talked to her about Cooper being the father of my baby. I wanted to confide in her earlier, but I'd promised Cooper we'd do it together.

Elena leaned in to hiss, "Why didn't you tell me your baby daddy was Cooper?"

"We promised not to say anything to anyone until twelve weeks."

Elena groaned. "Since when can't you confide in your best friend? The one who bought you the pregnancy test, I might add."

I looked at the volleyball court, wondering when I'd started to think of Cooper as my partner in this. "When you're pregnant and the daddy tells you not to."

Elena's brow furrowed. "Was that his stipulation or yours?"

"I was worried about a miscarriage, and the doctor said most people wait."

"You're feeling better about becoming a mother?" Elena asked softly.

"I've come to terms with the idea. It wasn't how I'd planned it, but I'm going to be okay."

"You hadn't planned for it at all."

I chuckled. "I wanted to see Rae and Duncan grow up and get them through college first."

Elena frowned. "You can't put your life on hold for your brother and sister."

Was living life having a baby, or did she mean meeting someone and falling in love? "I'm doing that now. Whether I like it or not."

"Cooper seems happy about it. He was grinning the whole time everyone congratulated him."

I nodded, watching his muscles flex as he dove to hit the ball. "He's going to be a great dad."

Elena paused and studied me. "You're not worried about him leaving anymore?"

"Every minute of every day. I force myself not to expect anything so I won't be disappointed."

"That's a sad way to live."

I sighed, because it was the only way I'd ever known. "It's easier this way. Expectations only hurt people in the long run."

"You know, your dad, whoever and wherever he is, is an asshole and nothing like Cooper." Elena's tone held a note of bitterness.

"I don't know my father, and I barely know Cooper."

"Maybe you're destined to have a family, including a sexy Kingston as your significant other," Elena said suggestively.

I shook my head. "Not everyone gets the fairy tale like you did."

"I fought it too, as I remember. I didn't think it would last, and it did. Maybe you're wrong about Cooper."

I chuckled. "I'd hate to be right."

"Then why don't you let go of your old beliefs and give him a chance? I have a feeling he wants more than to co-parent with you."

The sex was amazing, but each time we were together, it only got hotter. My desire for him grew, and I wanted more. It was a scary feeling, to want more from someone when you weren't sure if they had staying power.

"Not everyone is your father. You have proof all around you."

"The thing is, the only proof I need is my own father," I said, sharing my heartbreak out loud. I'd wondered about that when I was a kid. Why was my father the one who left? And I concluded it had to be me.

"You know it had nothing to do with you. He left before you were born."

I sighed. "Logically, I know that. But this doesn't have anything to do with reason."

"It sounds like you have some things to work through before the baby comes. You don't want to pass on your baggage to your child."

I turned to glare at her. "Why do you have to make so much sense?"

Elena threw back her head and laughed. "Tell that to Hudson."

"Ugh. I don't want to deal with my stuff.

" I'd known for a while that my beliefs around love and family were a little jaded.

But I'd never had to confront those feelings.

As long as I stayed distant from others, they never dug too deep.

But Elena was right; I didn't want to pass on these beliefs to my son or daughter.

Elena tipped her head toward where Cooper jumped into the air and spiked the ball over the net. "I would think there would be plenty of motivation to heal so you can move on with a certain someone."

He'd removed his shirt so his muscles were clearly visible.

"Cooper wants to take care of you and that baby. You should let him."

"He asked me to move in with him," I said quietly so no one would overhear.

Elena's eyes widened almost comically. "What did you say?"

"I said I'd think about it."

"What's his reasoning for that? He must have a good one for you to consider it."

"My condo is on the third floor, and there's no elevator. I can't imagine lugging everything a baby would need up three flights of stairs."

"Me either."

"He suggested that I sell my place and save up money to buy a house."

Elena frowned. "You don't have the money saved? I thought you'd been saving for a long time."

The only thing I spent money on besides a professional wardrobe and my SUV was paying off student loans and savings.

I knew the power of money, and I never wanted to be short again.

"I have money invested for Duncan's and Rae's college, and I want to make sure I don't use all my savings for the downpayment on a house.

They just keep getting more expensive with the rising interest rates. "

"You know their college education isn't your responsibility," Elena said gently as we watched the guys volley the ball back and forth.

I particularly enjoyed when Cooper dived on the sand to get a low ball. He didn't get it over the net, but the move was pure eye candy.

Elena slapped my arm. "Stop ogling your man, and pay attention."

With a sigh, I turned my focus to Elena. "He's not my man, and I know I don't have to pay for their education. But I want to. Now that I understand the power of investing, it's really not a big deal to put money in the account and watch it grow for them. I want them to have more than I did."

"But now you have your own child to think about. You want to ensure that he or she has everything they need."

My nose wrinkled. "You're making a lot of sense."

"I know you love that house."

"In another world, it would be mine."

Elena grinned. "How about in this world?"

"It's Cooper's house, and I'd only be living there temporarily. It makes sense for several reasons: I can save money, avoid the stairs of the condo, and then he can help me with the middle-of-the-night feedings."

"Are you sure those are the only reasons?"

"It would make things more convenient."

Elena was quiet for a few beats. Then she leaned forward. "Are you saying that you two are still going at it?"

I gave her a look. "Going at it?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I have needs which get worse with pregnancy."

Elena hummed.

"He's taking care of them. As he should because he's the reason why I'm in this state." I gestured at my belly.

Elena sighed. "Maybe I'll get pregnant too."

"I don't think you two could possibly have more sex." I'd heard enough over the last few months to burn my ears off. I'd learned to tune her out because it only made me want someone for myself. For the physical part anyway.

Elena sighed. "I saw the way Cooper looks over at you to make sure you're okay and that he doesn't need to rescue you from me. I can imagine he'll get more protective when you start to show. I can't wait to see how Hudson will be."

"I think it's different when you're serious about the father."

Elena leaned forward. "You're having sex, you're already pregnant, and you're moving in with him. If that's not a relationship, I don't know what is."

Before I could respond, she got up to grab a drink from the cooler someone had thought to bring to the bonfire. Then she got pulled into a conversation with Jonathan and Joy.

I couldn't deny that a committed relationship sounded nice. But for me, they always carried a low level of fear. I couldn't trust that it would last and the man wouldn't leave. It only intensified when I thought about the potential of him leaving our baby. I couldn't do that to my child.

I sat in silence, watching the guys play for a few minutes. It was entertaining to watch, not just because Cooper was shirtless and athletic, but their banter was engaging. I was so engrossed in the action; I didn't notice when Joy sat next to me.

"You have to let us throw you a shower."

"That's sweet but not necessary. We already went shopping and got everything we need for the nurseries." Then I paused, remembering that we might move in together. If that was my plan, I'd need to cancel one of the furniture orders.

Joy's expression dimmed slightly, and I felt bad.

"There're other things you could buy, like baby clothes."

Her face lit up again. "Oh, I love shopping for baby clothes."

"I heard they grow out of them fast," I said, relieved I'd recovered her good mood.

"I was lucky I had so many boys; I was able to reuse most of it." She waved a hand at me. "What am I thinking? Your mom might be planning something."

"We didn't talk to her yet. I guess we'll do it sometime this week before the rumors get around."

"You told us first?"

"It was important to Cooper."

Joy nodded. "I'm sure your mother will be thrilled."

I didn't answer because no one knew my mom like I did. She most certainly wouldn't be happy for me. She'd probably tell me that I was repeating her pattern of getting pregnant outside of a solid relationship.

"You let me know if she's not planning one, and we can do that for you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Kingston. That's really nice of you.

" I had no intention of letting anyone throw me a shower.

I couldn't imagine being on the receiving end of numerous gifts.

It was so foreign to me. I could get whatever I needed, especially if I moved in with Cooper.

That possibility was sounding more attractive the more I considered it.

"Please, call me Joy."

Cooper appeared in front of us. "You ready to head out?"

He'd remembered that I tired more easily. I appreciated the thought. "That would be great."

"I'm sure you're tired. I remember being wiped out with my pregnancies," Joy said.

"The doctor said I should feel better soon."

"Now's the time to get everything ready. By the last trimester, you'll be exhausted and swollen."

I laughed, even as I worried about how I'd be on my feet so much in my job. I'd make it work. I had to.

We said our goodbyes, getting a second round of well wishes before finally heading out. It took more time than I anticipated to talk to everyone.

In Cooper's cab, he kept a hand on the back of my seat. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Not at all."

He rested his forearm over the wheel. "How was the conversation with Elena?"

"She actually encouraged me to move in with you."

Cooper grinned. "I knew I liked that girl. And not just because she makes my brother less of a grump."

I looked out the window at a family on one of the tourist bikes the entire family could ride. "What she said made sense."

"What was that?"

I glanced over at him. "I could save more money and buy my own place sooner."

His smile dimmed. "It would only be temporary."

Was he hoping it would be more? It would be awkward to live with him and our baby if he was dating someone else.

I had no plans to make what we were doing exclusive once the baby came.

From what I read, I would be exhausted and probably wouldn't be interested in sex for a while. Our focus would be on the baby.

"You'll be close so you can help out with the baby. It's practical." The arrangement felt secure to me. There was always the fear that Cooper might not be interested in me at some point. But I could move out whenever I wanted.

"I think it's a great idea. When were you thinking of making the move?"

"I'd like to do it soon, during this second trimester. Everyone says it's a good time to set everything up. We'd only need one nursery, so I'll cancel the second set of furniture. I can always buy one later if I need it." I was already saving money with that move. "I can pay you half for yours."

"You're not paying for the nursery in my house. You're supposed to be moving in to save money, and I'm not expecting you to contribute financially."

"I can buy groceries."

Cooper considered that for a few seconds and then nodded. "Okay."

The idea of moving in with Cooper was a little scary, but the thought of saving money and maybe buying a beach house of my own one day won out over that fear.

For the first time, I felt a little crazy. I was doing something outside of my comfort zone. In a way, I was depending on Cooper to follow through with this offer. But as I looked at his face, I thought maybe I could trust him.

"I'll make space for you in the guest room, and we can set up the baby's room in the second. Have you thought about colors or whether you'd like a theme?"

"Not really. It's tough not knowing the gender."

"Do you plan to find out?"

I appreciated that he made it sound like that was my decision. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"It would be nice to know for planning purposes, but it would be nice to keep it a secret too. But I'll defer to you. If you want one of those gender-reveal parties, that could be fun."

The thought of another party thrown in our honor made me sweat a little. "No party. I'd rather it be something for just you and me."

Cooper reached over and squeezed my hand that had been resting on my thigh. "I like that."

I let out a breath. I was taking baby steps to be a little different than I had in the past. Hopefully, this meant I was willing to heal the hurt. Let go of the beliefs that no one would be there for me. Every day, Cooper proved me wrong.

Maybe I could build a future that looked a little bit like Elena and Hudson's. I just had to let go of the constraints that held me in the past. It was daunting, but for the first time, I felt like I could do it one step at a time.