Page 24 of Stuck With Mr. Frosty (Delectable Protectors #5)
MIA
R osie sits down on the bed, bouncing and looking at me. For every item I fold and put into my bag, she pulls it out and tosses it aside. I grab another stack of clothing from the dresser and stuff it in. She tries to take it back out.
She gives me a sheepish smile.
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I have to pack.”
“There’s a staff party tomorrow night, and then we’re done for the season. And that’s it,” she says.
“I can’t keep going on like this. I have to get ready to go because if I don’t, I don’t know that I’m ever gonna leave.”
Rosie reaches over and takes me by the hand, holding it tight.
“I know this is hard for you right now, and to be honest, I can’t believe that Aiden is acting like this.
In all the years I’ve known him, he’s never been cruel.
A little cold and aloof, sure. But making you feel like you don’t matter to him?
I don’t know what that’s about. Anybody can tell that when he looks at you, he sees his entire world. ”
“Thanks, Rosie.” I pull my hand away and turn my back to her to grab more clothing from the dresser. “But I can’t listen to that right now. If he really cared about me the way that you all seem to think he does, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You still don’t know what happened?”
“Not a clue. All the times I asked him, he didn’t have anything to say about it.
When I tried to talk to him the other day at breakfast, he had nothing to say.
So does he care about me? I can’t keep forcing him to talk to me.
” My voice breaks and more tears gather in my eyes.
I don’t know how much more I can cry this week before I finally get to go home. I grab the papers inside a drawer.
I still haven’t filled out the paperwork for Southwood Elementary. I don’t think I can. Each time I pull up the contract and start reading through it, even looking at that number on the front page for my salary, it doesn’t feel right.
At this point I’m not sure what would feel right, but I know that’s not it. Maybe I should take some time for myself. Travel overseas and teach English to kids in China or Vietnam or somewhere where nobody knows my name and nobody knows all the shit I’ve been through the last couple of years.
I take the papers and hold them tight, trying to figure out what to do.
Rosie nods at the papers in my hand. “What’s that?”
“My teaching contract. Ever since I arrived here, it hasn’t felt right.”
“Does this have anything to do with him?”
“No. It started the moment I got off the bus and felt like I was supposed to be here. Like this is where I should have been all along.”
Rosie looks at the papers before looking back at me. “So, you’re not going to take the job, then?”
“I don’t think I can.” I stuff the papers in the bag and grab more of the clothing she threw to the side, stuffing that in as well. “I thought it was what I wanted, but now the things I want are so different than they were when I first got here.”
“And now you don’t know how to make those two things line up.”
“I realized it wasn’t probably a good idea since I didn’t know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be.
I was thinking that I could just come for this season and not leave an entirely changed person.
And all I see is my mom, but in a good way.
It’s not like I’m sitting around here and thinking about all the things that we could have done together if she’d only had two more years.
I came to this resort to find her, and I think to find myself. ”
“I can tell you that in the time you’ve been here, things changed. You’re not the same person you were when we stepped off the bus.” Rosie’s eyes gather with tears and her lips purse before she lets out a wavering breath. “I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.”
“It’s not like we never get to see each other again.
” I zip up my bag, leaving out only what I need for that night.
“My friendship with you has been one of the best things that’s developed since I’ve been here.
You’d be crazy to think that I’m not going to call you every week so we can talk and catch up on everything. ”
Rosie laughs and wipes the tears from her eyes. “You better.”
I set the bag on the floor and drop down beside her on the bed, leaning back against the mattress and looking at the ceiling. Have you thought about what you’re gonna do once the season’s over?”
“I got an offer to work here through the spring and summer.”
My head whips to the side, my grin wide. “Congratulations! I know you love it here. So what position did they give you?”
“Well, June is leaving after the season, so an activities coordinator position opened. She put my name forward, and I guess the big bosses liked my work enough to offer me a job when she’s gone.”
“You’re gonna be so good at the job that they’re not gonna know what hit them.”
“I know.” Rosie playfully tosses her hair over her shoulder, her smile growing. “And if you ever want to come back here, I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you too.”
“I don’t know if I could come back here after everything that’s happened.”
“I’m sure you could. You’re stronger than the bullshit.”
“I’ve always been told that resilience is one of my best qualities, but these days it feels like I’m just playing a game of catch-up.”
Rosie shakes her head. “When you leave here, you’re going to be just fine. I know you, Mia. You may not be teaching, but you’re gonna find out what makes you happy, whatever that might be.”
I sigh, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know.
All that’s been on my mind is how I’m just about to leave him.
I don’t know what he’s doing right now. I haven’t seen him in the last couple of days.
He comes and goes without so much as a goodbye or hello.
Somehow, in a span of just a couple weeks, we’ve become strangers. ”
Rosie pats my thigh. “You know, we should go to the staff party tomorrow night. It’s gonna be the last chance we have time to party together before you leave me here alone.”
“You’re not gonna be alone.”
“You know what I mean. I’m gonna miss you. And if this is the last chance we have to go to drink too much tequila and dance to songs we don’t know the words to, then we’re going to do it. I don’t care if you don’t feel like going out. I will drag you kicking and screaming.”
“And I suppose it’s for my own good.”
“It is for your own good.” Rosie grins and rolls onto her side to face me. She grabs the corners of my mouth and turns them upward. “There’s your smile. I’ve been missing it.”
Laughing, I swat her hands away from me. “I’ve been smiling just fine.”
“Sure, sure.” Rosie pushes up to her feet as Honey comes trotting into the room. “Promise me that you’re not gonna leave tonight while we’re all sleeping and that you’ll stay for one more day and go to the party with me.”
“I promise,” I say, patting the bed beside me as Honey jumps up.
“Good. Aiden is gonna be there.”
I scowl at her, a pit forming in the bottom of my stomach. “Well, if that’s the case, maybe I’ll sit this one out. I can hang around until you get back. Then we can talk all about the party and who you think you’re going to hook up with out of the people who stay.”
“Come on! You have to go to the party and talk to him one last time. I don’t think the two of you should end on this note.”
“With everything that’s going on between us, I don’t see another note to end on. This is the way he wanted things, and this is the way they’re going to be.”
Rosie gives me a flat look. “Is this really how you want things to end, though? You were half of the relationship, so you get a say in it too. You don’t have to just roll over or pretend to be fine just because he’s being difficult.”
I shake my head sadly. “This isn’t some romance movie where the quarterback comes running in at the end of the third quarter.
He’s not going to rush up into the stands telling me that he loves me as I’m on my way out the door.
Something shifted for him. It changed. And that happens to people.
He’s entitled to his feelings the same way I’m entitled to mine. ”
“Sure, it is.” Rosie heads for the door, pausing in the doorway. “But is this one of those things you want to regret later on in life?”
She leaves, shutting the door behind her, her words echoing in my head. I don’t know if this is the kind of regret I want to live with. I’ve done my best so far not to live with any. And maybe that’s led to Aiden thinking that I’m nothing but somebody who’s there for a good time and a short time.
But at this point, I thought he knew me better than to think that I was a flake. I thought he knew that I wanted something more than just the superficial with him. I thought that one of these days, we were finally going to get around to talking about it.
Maybe Rosie’s right.
I was half of this relationship, and maybe I get something to say about it too.