Page 17 of Stuck With Mr. Frosty (Delectable Protectors #5)
MIA
“ I don’t know if I should talk to him about what we are or not.” I glance at Rosie as we finish stacking up the pylons and take them to the supply shed.
Rosie takes the stack from me and sets it inside on a shelf. “I don’t know what it could hurt. I know it’s been, what, a month? He’s gotta have some ideas about what’s going to come of this by now.”
As I shut the door and lock it, I bite my bottom lip.
“Yeah, but on the other hand, I don’t know if I want to get that deep with him yet.
It’s a lot of pressure to put on someone.
Besides, I don’t know what school I’m going to end up teaching at next year, and then there’s the whole he likes-to-be-alone thing. ”
“I don’t think he likes to be alone anymore.” Rosie grabs her skis. “I don’t think you like being alone much either, so maybe it’s good that the two of you think about what’s happening between you.”
I sigh and take off my ski boots, swapping them for hiking boots lined with faux fur. “And then there’s the risk that we want different things.”
“Might be one you have to take.”
I pull my goggles off the top of my head, stuffing them in the bag with the helmet already in there.
“Normally, I like risks. I don’t think you grow as a person unless you’re willing to take them, but everything feels right.
It feels like if I go to him and open up this conversation, then we’re going to change things.
And it’s a risk that I don’t know I should take right now because everything feels so perfect. ”
“It’s not perfect if you’re having these feelings.”
Groaning, I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder. “You’re right.”
Rosie laughs and bumps her shoulder into mine. “If it makes you feel better, I don’t want to be.”
“Unfortunately, you are. And I know this is part of being an adult.”
“Still feels like there’s another ‘but’ coming.”
“But…” I say, drawing out the word. “Things are good how they are. There are no strings attached. And when the season comes to an end, we both know we’re going different ways.”
“And you’re going to take the easy way out, so you don’t have to face it right now.” Rosie stops outside the gondola building, leaning against the side of the wall. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you either have an expiration date or you don’t.”
“Tonight, I think we’re not going to deal with that.”
Rosie’s lips twitch. “You’re right about that, actually. He told me and Ryder to get lost tonight. I can’t tell you what the surprise is going to be, but there is one.”
My heart leaps into my throat, the butterflies in my stomach going wild. “He has a surprise for me?”
“That’s all I’m going to tell you.” Rosie kicks some snow at me. “Now, go back to the cabin and have some fun with your man, and please disinfect whatever the two of you get onto.”
Laughing, I kick some snow back at her. “Sex isn’t all we do when we’re together. It’s just one of the benefits of having a winter fling.”
Rosie rolls her eyes. “I don’t think fling is the right word for it, but if you want to keep insisting that it’s all it is, then you go right ahead with that. I won’t keep fighting you on it.”
“Maybe one day you’ll get to look back and tell me that you told me so.”
“I know I will.” She nods to the next gondola pulling up to take her away. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
It’s getting dark out as I climb the stairs to the cabin, clouds of steam rising from the heating system. I stomp up the stairs, shaking the snow from my boots. Clouds roll overhead, blocking out the stars that try to shine through the trees.
The air is only getting colder as I push the door open. Honey launches herself off the couch and over to me, her tail wagging hard.
I laugh and crouch down, rubbing behind her ears while she tries to cover every inch of my face with her kisses.
The scent of melting cheese and greasy pepperoni fills the cabin. The couch is pushed back to give enough room for the mattresses on the floor. Lights hang across the ceiling, a twinkling warm white.
Aiden stands in the middle of it all, looking unsure of himself, but there’s a small smile curving his lips. “I hope this isn’t too much, but I thought with the late shifts tomorrow, we could have a movie night tonight.”
“Do you have popcorn? And chocolate chips?”
“Yeah, popcorn is freshly popped. Didn’t want to add the chocolate chips until it cooled down a little since you said you still like the chocolate kind of intact.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Pizza’s here too.”
“Thank you.” I stride across the room and stand on my toes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m going to go get cleaned up, and then I’ll be right out so we can enjoy this.”
I hurry to get showered and changed into a pair of joggers and a camisole, scurrying out to the mattress bed in the middle of the room and crashing down against the pillows. Aiden comes over with a bowl of popcorn and a plate of pizza, dropping down beside me.
Honey curls up at our feet, snoring within a couple minutes.
I grab the remote, scrolling through the movies before settling on one. “I don’t know what you want to watch, but I’m in the mood for something bloody and gory.”
“Oh yes, what everyone wants to watch when they’re trying to be romantic.” He grins and shoves some popcorn into his mouth. “Blood and gore away.”
“It’s very romantic, but there’s nothing quite like someone’s head being cut off.”
He laughs and gets comfortable, eating some pizza while I find the movie that looks like it’s going to have the most heads flying. All thoughts of talking about the future disappear for the moment.
But they come rushing back when the first movie ends and Aiden shuffles beside me, pulling me into his side and pressing his lips to my temple.
“Have you thought more about where you want to apply to teach once the season’s over?” he asks as I scroll through the movies, looking for another one to watch.
I swallow hard, chest tightening. “I don’t know. There are some schools in my area, but I don’t know if I want to stay in my area or if I want to move around.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to stay where you are?”
“Lots of ghosts.” I force a smile, but the words are hard to say, like I’ve been avoiding talking about why I would want to leave.
“Ghosts?”
“Of Mom.” I pull away from him so I can look him in the eyes, sitting up and pulling my knees to my chest. “I know that seems ridiculous to say given the fact that I came here to feel close to her, but there’s something about this that feels different than staying in the city.”
“Why?” He sits up and crosses his legs, laughing when Honey plops down in front of him with her big head in his lap.
“Mom was always larger than life to me.” I pick at a loose thread on my pants. “And now that she’s gone, everything else about my life seems so small. I keep going to places in the city where all I see are the spots she and I used to be together, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks.”
“You’d rather run away?”
I glare at him out of the corner of my eyes before sighing. “I guess you could see it that way.”
“How would you see it?” His fingers comb through Honey’s fur, letting the long strands run gently between his fingers before falling away.
I pause, not sure what to think about his line of questioning.
It doesn’t feel like he’s interrogating me; more like he’s trying to understand what’s going on in my head.
And for a moment, it feels like we might be something more than just two people having fun.
Like we might be headed for something after the season and he’s trying to figure out where I stand on the entire matter.
Sighing, I reach for a slice of cold pizza. “I think I want to get out and live my life for her. She wouldn’t want me to sit around and keep thinking about all the places we used to go and all the things we used to do.”
“That still sounds like you’re going to be living your life for another person.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and turn to face him. “What would you do if you were me?”
The corner of his mouth twitches. “I’m a horrible example to follow. I spend most of my days traveling around the world and avoiding having to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I’m probably the last person you should be taking advice from.”
“And yet, I’m asking you for it. So, what would you do?”
His hands are still in Honey’s fur. “I think I would spend the rest of the season figuring out who I am and what I want from my life. You can’t spend it living another person’s dream.”
“Kind of seems like a cop-out answer.”
He chuckles and shrugs. “You have me there, but I don’t want to be one more person influencing you to do something you don’t want to do. This should be your choice, and you should make it with your own best intentions in mind.”
“Is that what you do when you travel?”
He presses his lips into a thin line for a moment before looking away from me.
For a long while, he says nothing. This is it. I’ve finally pushed him away from me, just when I thought things were starting to go well. He’s going to keep pulling back and all the progress we’ve made over the last few weeks is going to disappear as if nothing happened at all.
Finally, he leans back and looks up at the ceiling. “I travel to run away from the thought of having to figure out where to settle down.”
“Do you think that’s ever going to change?”
I know I’m asking more for myself than anything else. I want to know what he thinks about us having a future, and I’m asking about it in every way I know how without having to say the actual words.
And if he knows that, he doesn’t let on.
“It might. I’m not the kind of person to deal in absolutes.”
I laugh and lean back into him, trying to pretend like I wasn’t hoping for a different answer. Like I wasn’t thinking that this could be one of those movies.
Like I didn’t think that the only time I’ve felt like myself in a long time is when I’m with him.