Page 23 of Stuck With Mr. Frosty (Delectable Protectors #5)

AIDEN

H oney is sleeping in the search and rescue station while I sit on a cot looking out the window. Snow is falling and the stars are shining brightly over the trees. Well, at least the ones visible through the thick cloud cover.

Maybe I should have stayed and talked to Mia more.

Maybe I should have told her that I saw the letter.

We could have figured this out. But I’m not sure that there is anything to figure out at this point.

She made up her mind about what she’s doing, I think.

She and Rosie have been lurking around the cabin and whispering to each other.

At least they were this morning when I stopped by.

Sure, it could’ve been about nothing, but it sounded like Rosie was talking about her plans after the season is over.

I should have known that this was never going to work out.

I should have known that she would leave me because everybody else does.

The kind of life I live is the kind where people just sit to the side and think that I’m wasting my time.

That there has to be something wrong with me to make me want to move around all the time.

And the more I think about it, the more I know I won’t be happy following her and settling down. I would feel like I’m holding her back or forcing her to take me with her.

Groaning, I tip my head back against the cold window, closing my eyes. This is why I don’t do relationships. I should have told her how I felt before this all blew up in my face.

At least then there was something good between us. Something that might make it harder for her to let go.

I sit up straighter again, shifting on the cot and leaning back against the other wall.

The cold seeps through the wood, but the space heater in the corner is working overtime.

It’s not the best setup in the world, but it’s the one that works for tonight.

It’s better than being back home in the cabin and having to look at Mia, knowing I disappointed her.

I glance out the window and see a shadowy figure stomping through the snow.

The form is small and slightly hidden in shadow.

It’s only once the figure steps into the light shining outside the station that I can see Mia.

There’s a determination on her face and a look in her eyes that I don’t dare mess with.

It looks like she’s gonna set the world on fire if she doesn’t get what she wants.

It’s probably wrong to be turned on by that, but even if we are at odds right now, I’m still insanely attracted to her.

Maybe if I pretend that I don’t know she’s here, she’ll go away.

It’s childish. Ridiculous, really. I should go down there and talk to her.

I should tell her that I saw the letter, tell her that I don’t want to hold her back.

I could tell her that I’m afraid of her leaving.

Or that I’m afraid of being alone. Hell, I could even tell her that the thing that terrifies me most in this moment is leaving this resort knowing what I had with her and worrying that I’ll never find it with anybody else again.

And I know I wouldn’t. It would be impossible. Someone like her comes around once in a lifetime.

But just because someone like her only comes around during that one moment in your life when you need them the most — just for a fleeting passage of time — doesn’t mean that they’re there to stay. Maybe Mia was never meant to stay with me.

Her boots pound against the steps as she climbs up to the station.

There isn’t even a knock at the door before it flies open, and she steps inside.

Honey springs up from her nap and dashes across the small space, burying her big head against Mia’s thighs.

Mia smiles and runs her fingers through Honey’s fur.

“Hi, girl,” Mia says, crouching down and scratching Honey behind the ears, laughing as Honey slobbers all over her. “I’ve missed you too.”

Guilt hits me like a punch to the gut. I’m wondering how I deprived them of each other for the day.

Or what will happen when we’ve gone our separate ways and they don’t see each other again.

Even though she’s always been a friendly dog, I don’t think I’ve seen Honey take to anyone the way she’s taken to Mia.

I run a hand through my hair. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I thought about what you said back at the cabin.” Mia stands up and looks at me, hurt in her eyes, but there’s a hard set to her jaw. “Thought about it, and I decided that it’s bullshit.”

My shoulders slump. “I don’t know if I have the energy to continue with this argument.” To continue pretending that I don’t love her. That I haven’t fallen for her or that we can make it to the end of the season and beyond.

Mia arches an eyebrow, her arms crossing under her chest. She stands taller, her chin tilting up. “That’s it? You’ve got nothing to say about any of this?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say about it.”

“I want you to tell me what the hell is going on in your head, Aiden.” Her voice wavers, a slight quiver to her bottom lip. “I want to know why you keep pushing me away.”

“What’s going on in my head right now is that there are two weeks left of the season, and then I move on with my life and you move on with yours.” My tongue darts out to wet my bottom lip as I try to force the appropriate tone in my voice.

All I want to do is crawl back onto that cot and shut down for the night.

I could pretend that this isn’t happening right now — that I can hide away from my life.

It’s what I used to do when I was in foster care.

It doesn’t work as an adult, but the idea is appealing nonetheless.

She’s looking at me like she doesn’t know who I am, what she wants, or what I should be doing right now.

“Why don’t you just leave?” I ask her, forcing words out through gritted teeth. It feels like I’m ripping out a piece of myself when I say that to her.

Mia looks at me like I just told her I hate her. Her lips press into a thin line, and she gives a single nod before spinning on her heel. She pauses and turns around long enough to say goodbye to Honey before stepping out the door and shutting it behind her.

I go to the window and watch her leave, my heart hammering in my chest, crushing against my ribs. There is a deep pit in the bottom of my stomach.

What the hell did I just do?

Ryder hums to himself as he carries two omelets to our table, setting one down in front of me. “Made this just for you. Made sure to put an extra bad attitude in it.”

“How do you put an attitude in eggs?” I grab the bottle of hot sauce in the middle of the table, pouring out a healthy amount. “Thanks for this, though.”

“Well, I think about the way that you and Mia have been storming around and avoiding each other for the last week. Putting it into the omelet involves violently breaking eggs against the counter. You might find some shell in yours.”

The corner of my mouth twitches as I stab my eggs, scooping up a forkful. “I heard a little crunch is probably a good thing.”

Ryder smirks and cuts off a bite of his own omelet, sticking it in his mouth.

The silence stretches between us for a moment before he swallows hard and reaches for his coffee, mixing in some cream and sugar.

“I’m going to tell you all that I know about women.

It’s not a whole lot, but I think that you would like to know something — well, at least if you want to fix this with Mia.

And based on the fact that you’re still here and aren’t running for the hills to your next rescue gig, I’m thinking that you do want to fix it with her. ”

“Not sure there’s anything to fix. I’ve done a pretty fine job of messing things up.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you messed up so bad that can’t be fixed. Mia seems like a very forgiving person. She likes you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have tried as hard as she did to get to know you.”

“I know that things are complicated.” I stab another bite of my breakfast, inspecting it for little bits of shell. All that’s there is ham and cheese. And something green that smells a little like onion. It’s safe.

“Things can’t be that complicated. I think you two are both making this more complicated than it needs to be.

It’s been a week, and the two of you barely said more than three words to each other.

She’s been sleeping in the bedroom while you’ve been out on the couch.

Honey is moving around like she doesn’t know where she’s supposed to be. ”

Before I can say anything else, Mia comes over and sits down beside me, dropping her tray on the table.

She gives Ryder her bright smile before turning to me.

“You know what? I’m tired of avoiding this conversation or whatever the hell is going on between the two of us.

So, I guess it’s up to me again to try and fix this.

Although, I’ll be honest right now. I don’t know why I’m bothering quite so hard for us when you clearly don’t care. ”

Ryder gets to his feet, leaving his breakfast behind. “I think that’s my cue to go get some more coffee.”

Mia twists in her seat to face me, crossing one leg over the other. “What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter what happened. All that matters is that in a week, we’re both done here.”

“Sure, you could pretend that it doesn’t matter, but if you feel for me even half of what I feel for you, then you have to think it matters.

Or you could tell me that we’re done without even trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Though it seems to me like something happened, but you’re not enough of a man to actually communicate with me about it. ”

“Sure, you could think that if you want.” I take another bite of the eggs. “I don’t know what else there is to tell you. You’ve got your plans after this season ends. I’ve got my plans. And it’s pretty clear that the two of them are never gonna line up.”

Mia scoffs. “You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s all this is about? My plans? I don’t have any plans — like I’ve been telling you the entire season. So maybe you don’t believe me.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t believe you. I wonder why you would spend this entire season telling me that you don’t have plans when we both know that you’ve got a life to turn back to after this.”

“What life?” She throws her hands up in the air, her cheeks turning a bright red, her eyes flashing with anger. “I’m alone. I have nobody I’m going home to.”

“I think it’s best that you leave.” The words feel like they’re made of shattered glass. They grate on my throat, tearing me from the inside out.

I don’t want to keep fighting with her. Maybe I should tell her that it’s going to be okay. That we can do whatever she wants. It’s what used to work in the foster homes to keep the fighting to a minimum.

But how can I give up on my life and my dreams?

Although I think those dreams have changed since I met her.

Pretending I’m distant is better. I lean back in my chair and shrug, continuing to eat my breakfast. I’m being cold, and it’s cruel, but it’s the only way I think I can convince her to give up on me.

Mia’s eyes shine with tears as she nods. “You know what, fine. You win. No matter what comes between us right now, I hope you’re happy with your life.”

She gets up, the legs of her chair screeching against the tile floor.

Multiple people in the room turn to look at us, but I ignore them all, instead watching my plate and listening for the steady beat of her footsteps to fade.

I don’t know if I could have made more of a mess of this than I already have.

I immediately feel bad, regretting what I did. As I stand up to chase after her, Ryder steps in my path. He puts his hand on my chest and holds me in place. “I think it’s better that you don’t follow her right now.”

“I made a mistake.”

He shakes his head. “No, at this point all you’ve made is a series of choices. You picked the path that you’ve now gone down. You don’t want to talk to anybody about what happened. You won’t even talk to her. And even if you would, I think that she’s heard everything she needs to hear.”

“She’s better off without me.” My lips press together as I struggle to keep my breathing even and my eyes from burning. “I’ve gotta go to work.”

“Of course, yeah.” Ryder shakes his head and sits back down in front of this food.

“One day you’re going to wake up and see what you did here, and you’re gonna want to fix it.

That regret is gonna eat you alive, and you’re going to think, well, what would have happened if I just told her the truth.

Or if I had never started whatever the hell this is in the first place.

And then you will spend the rest of your life living with that regret because that right there is probably the best woman I’ve ever met.

Sure, she’s got her issues. We all do. But she fought for you from the beginning.

And now look at how you’re treating her. ”

“I know.” I turn and head for the door.

I know he’s right. There’s nothing else I can do. I screwed up. I’m an idiot. I know I should go after Mia and tell her everything at this point, but I can’t.

It’s stupid to think that I won’t be alone. I’m not going to be anything but a terrible partner.

I step outside, the fresh air nearly soothing some of the spiraling thoughts in my head as I take deep breaths. I made my bed.

Honey takes off bounding through the snow, her nose to the ground following Mia’s tracks, catching up to her just before she goes around the corner.

Even my own dog doesn’t want to stay with me.

I’m not about to beg people to love me, though. I’m certainly not about to beg Mia to change her plans for me.

It’s time to let her go.