Page 21

21

Sahara

I t’s been two weeks since the Halloween party. Two weeks since the fortune teller whispered in my ear that I was a woman of many faces. She whispered it at first, because she wanted me to understand exactly what she was telling me and believe me, her message was delivered, received and understood. Loud and clear.

How did she know?

How the ever-loving heck could Tamara know that I wasn’t who I said I was, simply from looking at my palm? At that moment, all the blood in my face had drained straight to my toes and when I turned and saw the confused look on Kalen’s face, I quickly suspected my time with him was going to be short-lived, even though he’d just asked me to extend our hook-up relationship. But then when Tamara yelled it out, and everyone naturally thought it was because I was an actress.

I wanted to run that night and never look back, but we’d just agreed on Thanksgiving, and the truth is, I want to be with him for more than just a couple of weeks, but I seriously blew that when I wasn’t honest with him from the start. I never felt I could be honest, though. He never liked me back in high school.

I roll over in my bed, my heart heavy. My phone pings and I reach for it, half expecting it to be Kalen. He’s headed home after three days away with the team, and even though we video messaged every night, I still miss him and that scares the hell out of me because I’m falling for a man I can never be with. I’m also falling for his friends. I love the players, and the WAGs. They’ve all taken me under their wings and they had so much fun the night they all came to see our performance. Afterward, we went out for drinks and laughed the night away.

What the heck have I gotten myself into?

I grab my phone and see a message from my brother Charlie; he’s here for a lecture at Harvard and wants to meet for lunch. I message him back and tell him to meet me at the library. I don’t want him at my apartment. He’d likely run home and tell Mom and Dad I don’t live in the best part of Boston and they’ll either insist I go home or move somewhere else. Sure, they’ll be happy to foot the bill for a place, but I want to be out from under their thumb. If I took money, they’d feel like they could rule my life.

I am happy that he reached out to me, though, and there’s a café not too far from the library, where we can grab lunch. I set my phone down and head to the shower. Once I wash the fog from my brain, I check my phone to see a message from Kalen, letting me know he’ll be home later this morning and that he can’t wait to see me. While I’m excited to see him too, I also have a huge knot in my gut. How much longer can we go on like this? Until Thanksgiving, apparently. Even then I don’t want things to be over, and I’m getting the sense that Kalen would like to keep seeing me. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

I message back that I’m busy for the day and we agree to a quiet night in and some take-out food at my place. I’ve given him a key so he can come and go as needed, just like he’s given me a key, which makes this relationship feel much more real, and meaningful.

But nothing is real, is it, Sahara…especially you.

I grab a slice of toast and head outside. The November wind is cool as I make my way to my car and drive to work. The morning flies by in a rush of activity, and when lunch rolls around, I step outside to find my brother coming my way.

“Hey, Charlie.” I hold my arms out and he gives me a big hug. I snuggle into him, really happy that he’s here. Even though we’re not close, the truth is, I miss my siblings. I wish we were involved in each other’s lives the way Taylor and Kalen are in each other’s.

“Hey, Darien. How are you?”

I put my hands on my hips. “I told you. I go by Sahara now.”

He rolls his eyes, which really bugs me. “Fine, Sahara.” He glances around. “I’m starved, where do you want to eat?”

“There’s a little café across the street.”

“I passed by a place called The Nook. One of the students at the university recommended it.” He checks his watch. “Do you have time?”

I bite my lip. I’d rather not go there. Running into one of the players is too risky and I’m trying to keep my private life private.

“We should just go across the street. I actually don’t have a lot of time.”

He angles his head. “You okay, sis?”

God, I hate that he can read me so well. “Yeah, just busy.”

“Okay, we can go across the street.”

My shoulders relax as we walk to the corner and cross, and I turn the conversation to him, and ask about his work, which he loves to talk about. The café is busy, but we manage to snag a seat by the window. After we order sandwiches and sodas, he leans back in his seat.

His gaze rakes over my face, and I shift, uncomfortable under his scrutiny. “You look so different.”

I run my hand through my hair. “New hair, no glasses. Older.” Definitely not wiser.

“No, it’s not that. You just seem…” He crinkles up his nose like he can’t quite put his finger on it. “… different.”

Oh, that’s probably because I’m having sex on a regular basis and while I’m terrified the bubble I’m living in is about to burst, this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

“I’m happy here in Boston,” I tell him.

He arches a brow, satisfied with my answer. “You’re coming home for Thanksgiving?”

“Mom asked me to.”

“Victoria decided we’d host it this year.”

They’d just bought a big new house with the twins coming. I have no doubt my brother and his wife Victoria want to show the place off, and I don’t blame him. “Is Victoria up to hosting it?”

“It was her idea, and we’ll all be there to help.”

“Yeah, I’m coming home.” While I know Mom will be trying to set me up, it’s better than being here alone for the holidays…or maybe not.

Just then someone stops outside the window, blocking the lunchtime sun and when I lift my head and see Kalen standing there, I nearly swallow my tongue.

“Friend of yours?” Charlie asks.

“Ah, yeah, something like that.” The server comes with our sandwiches, as Kalen moves from the window. Heat floods me, worry winging its way through my body. The front door opens and Kalen walks straight over to us, his eyes narrowed in on my brother, in a very possessive way. I shiver at the possessiveness, because I like when he’s jealous. God, could I be any more messed up?

“Hey,” he greets, and glances at me as he taps the table, like he’s looking for something to do with his fingers other than dragging my brother out of his seat.

“Kalen—”

Before I can finish Charlie muses, “You look familiar. Did you go to?—”

“He’s a hockey player,” I cut in quickly. “He plays for the Bucks.”

“That’s it.” My brother snaps his fingers. “Kalen Coolidge. Nice to meet you, man.” Charlie holds his hand out and Kalen shakes it. “I didn’t know you when you lived?—”

“Kalen, this is my brother, Charlie. He’s a professor at Yale, and is here for a conference,” I tell him quickly, and work not to sound as shaky as I feel. Omg, why are my worlds colliding? I didn’t go to The Nook for this reason, and yet here we are.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

He gestures with a nod to the street. “Just out with Elias. He was running errands, getting some Boston gifts to take home to family and friends for Thanksgiving. I tagged along, and then I just saw you in the window.”

“Join us,” my brother offers.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s busy,” I blurt out quickly and two sets of eyes narrow in on me.

Looking almost wounded, Kalen nods. “Yeah, I should get going. You two probably have a lot to catch up on.”

My brother bites into his sandwich, but I’ve lost my appetite. He follows it with a drink and before Kalen can leave, he asks, “How do you know, Dar…” he clears his throat, when my eyes go big. “Sahara?” he finishes.

“She’s in a play with my sister. She’s the star. So much talent. I wouldn’t be surprised if Hollywood came knocking.” Heat flushes my cheeks as he winks at me.

“Right,” Charlie says, the twist of his lips a good indication that he’s humoring us both. Why the hell can’t they respect what I want to do with my life? I bet my mother would love that I’m dating a hockey player. Okay, so we’re not really dating, we’re hooking up. But man, if we were dating, Mom would love it. She’d think I finally had some value.

My brother’s gaze shoots back and forth between the two of us. “Wait, are you two…”

“Yeah, sort of,” Kalen answer, and as my heart leaps—why would he say that—my brother’s eyes light up.

“Wow, Dar…” he begins and once again stops himself. “Wow, Sahara, why didn’t you tell me?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s new.” I steal a fast glance at Kalen.

Charlie grabs a napkin. “We were just talking about Thanksgiving. Why don’t you join us this year, Kalen? My wife and I are hosting. I’m sure everyone would love to meet you.”

“He’s having Thanksgiving with his sister,” I quickly point out.

Charlie wipes his mouth with a napkin and shrugs. “Bring her too. She’s a friend of yours isn’t she, Sahara. ” He emphasizes my name, and I resist the urge to kick him under the table.

“Yeah, but?—”

Kalen is astute enough to know I’m hedging, so he pipes in with. “My sister and I are actually headed to my father’s place. Maybe another time.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. If you change your mind, this is my address.” My brother pulls a card from his pocket and hands it over.

Kalen tucks it into his pocket. “Thanks.”

Charlie pushes to his feet. “If you’ll excuse me.” He glances around for the washroom.

“Just down the hall to the left,” I tell him.

He leaves and Kalen leans in. “I didn’t know your brother was going to be in town.”

“It was so last minute. I only knew this morning. Lecture at Harvard.”

He arches a brow. “Impressive.”

“I’m sure Mom and Dad think so too.” God, could I sound more venomous, which isn’t fair to my brother. I love him and he worked hard to get where he is today.

“What’s with him anyway? Why was he saying your name like that and what was he talking about he didn’t know me when I lived…Why would he know me when I lived in Darien or New York?”

My heart jumps into my throat. “He’s a strange one,” is all I can explain, and not wanting him to think I don’t want to invite him to Thanksgiving, I add, “I only said you were busy with Taylor because I didn’t think you would want to come to my very dysfunctional family’s Thanksgiving.” Knowing he can’t make it because of his plans, I feel confident state, “I mean, I would have loved it if you and Taylor could both come.” It’s not a lie. I would have loved it, if I weren’t pretending to be someone else.

“I always wanted a big Thanksgiving dinner.” That look of longing once again crosses his face.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Kalen. Board games with bickering. Austin and Charlie are so competitive, and when it comes to politics, London and Aspen have strong opinions.” I stop to shiver. Okay, maybe it’s not all bad and maybe they wouldn’t be so loud and competitive if I did bring a professional hockey player home. But I don’t want them to respect me because of Kalen, I want them to respect me, because I have value too.

“Got it.”

“Four of you are named after places,” he simply points out.

“Charlie is short for Charleston.” I snort out a laugh. “Mom and Dad liked to travel.”

“That’s funny. I once knew a girl named Darien, from Darien. Why would any parent do that?”

Wait, what? He knew me. He never knew me. That’s not true.

But he just said he did?

What the heck?

He taps the tabletop again. “I’m going to go. Give you some time with your brother.” He leans in and gives me a quick kiss. “Looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

“Same,” I respond and watch him walk away, my heart in my throat because this was a close call…too close. I can’t have my worlds colliding like this. My brother comes back, and we finish eating. He walks me back to my building and after a hug goodbye, and a promise to be home for Thanksgiving, I head inside and go to the circulation desk to help with the growing checkout line.

I work quickly, with a smile on my face and when the next person steps up, a little girl beside her, my legs nearly go out from underneath me.

“Gina,” I murmur, barely able to get her name out. I swallow. “What…what…”

“You work here?” she asks, a confused look on her face as she glances at the name plate on the counter. Sahara Lewis. “How come you never mentioned it? Come to think of it, neither did Kalen.” There’s simply curiosity in her eyes as she gazes at my name plate, but this is going to go south fast.

I turn to Jenny. “Can you cover me for a second?”

She nods and I step out from behind the desk. I say hello to Zoe, and not knowing where to begin, I drag them off to the children’s section. “Can we talk?”

“Zoe, go play for a second.”

Zoe nods and heads to the Lego table.

“What’s going on?” Gina asks. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

Oh God. I take a couple of deep breaths, as my world implodes. “Gina,” I begin. “I…I’m…” She puts her hand on my arm, and gives it a supportive squeeze, and my heart races, my body and brain giving up the fight. I can’t keep going on like this. “Kalen doesn’t know I work here,” I blurt out.

Her head rears back. “I don’t understand.” She glances around. “This is a secret?”

“It’s not…okay, it is. I didn’t tell him. It’s…ugh. It’s so complicated.”

Her gaze narrows in on me, confusion brimming in her eyes. “Why would he care if you worked at a library?”

“It’s long and complex.”

“I’m not in a hurry.” She turns to check on Zoe who is now searching for books.

“I…I know Kalen from high school.”

Her jaw drops. “Omigod, I didn’t know you two went way back.”

My throat squeezes tight. “He doesn’t know. He didn’t know me back then.” Okay, so he said he knew a girl named Darien Lewis, but that doesn’t mean he knew me.

Gina shakes her head, and pulls her purse up higher on her shoulder. “I don’t understand.”

“I never told him I knew him. I thought it was just a quick hook-up, you know, but then I fell in love with him.”

My God, I’m in love with Kalen Coolidge.

Her eyes soften. “I’m pretty sure he’s in love with you too, Sahara. I’m so happy for you guys,” she murmurs. But then worry comes over her. “Wait. Why would he care that you knew him back in high school? Why is that, and this job a secret?”

“Because if he knew, it’d be the end of us…” She bites her lip, her eyes widening with concern, because I think she’s putting it all together. I know we’re friends, but right now, her loyalties are with Kalen, a guy she’s known and has cared about for a long time. “Are you going to tell him?”

She shakes her head, and glances down. “No, but I think you have to…”