Page 17

17

Sahara

K alen takes my hand, like he’s anxious to get me alone. “I’m glad you came to dinner,” he says.

“Me too.” Honestly, I like what we do in the bedroom but I really enjoyed sitting around the kitchen table with him, his sister and his friend, chatting about things. I have a feeling Kalen liked it as much as me.

I have no doubt this man wants a family of his own, but something is holding him back. I want to pry, but I really shouldn’t get too close to a man who seems hell bent on keeping this about sex. I don’t want him thinking I want more, and then scare him off.

“Come on.” He tugs on my hand.

“Just a second.” I hurry to the front door and pick up my bag, and when I glance at Kalen, and take in his grin, I have no doubt he’s wondering if I have a few sexy books with me. He takes my bag and hikes it over his shoulder, then leads me upstairs to his bedroom. Inside, he shuts the door and walks to his closet. As he closes the double doors, I get a better look around his room. The last time I was in here it was dark and we had other things on our mind.

“You know, I love that you have family pictures around. It makes this house warm and cozy for your sister.” I pick up a picture and glance at Kalen over my shoulder. “You’d be a good father, Kalen. Something tells me you don’t think you would be, but Taylor is a testament to how attentive and caring you are. She’s pretty amazing.”

A look of warmth and love comes over his face, and I know he’s proud of his sister. “I can’t take all the credit. She was always an amazing young girl. Strong, resilient...forgiving.” As soon as he says forgiving, he glances away, a distant, look of hurt in his eyes, like he’s remembering something painful from long ago. Whatever it was he just thought about, it’s still raw.

“Something on your mind?” I ask, in a light tone.

He steps up to me and takes the small picture from my hands. He lightly runs his finger over the frame, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth. “You know they talk about time healing. It does and it doesn’t, if that makes sense. I put these pictures around for Taylor.” As he speaks, I can almost feel the guilt radiating off him. Why does he feel guilty? He angles the pic to show me. “This was Mom and Taylor at Christmas. Taylor was only two in this photo.”

“They look very happy.”

“Yeah. I was eight, and I do remember being happy. I guess maybe my earlier years weren’t so bad.”

As if he just said something he shouldn’t have, something he doesn’t want me to know, he sets the picture back down.

I push my glasses up and lean over to take a closer look at the photo. “Do you have one of you and your mother?” I glance around but don’t see one.

Sadness moves over him. “No.”

Sensing I touched a sensitive spot, I ask, “Where were you and your dad in this picture?”

“Dad was probably making breakfast, and I was probably blowing something up.”

I laugh at that. “I doubt that. I can just picture little Kalen babyproofing everything after opening all the presents to make sure nothing hurt your baby sister.”

He gives me a sheepish look. “Yeah, probably.”

“Always so responsible, taking care of everyone else.” I give him a shove. “Who’s taking care of you, Kalen?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Maybe I’d like to take care of you tonight.” I push him again, and he backs up.

“Babe.”

He’s about to protest, so I go up on my toes and press my lips to his. As I swallow his response, I pop the button on his pants and slide my hand in.

“Fuck,” he murmurs into my mouth. “You don’t have to…” I stroke him from crown to tip and he moans. “Okay, if you want to.”

I chuckle at that and drop to my knees, tugging his pants down. I honestly love pleasuring this man and making him happy, because if anyone deserves it, it’s him. He lightly runs his fingers through my hair as I take him deep into my throat, and his soft moans curl around me. I suck him deep, and run my tongue along the long length of him, and he rocks into my mouth. This time, though, I want to be on top of him again. It’s less about me, and more about him laying back and relaxing while someone else takes care of him.

His cock falls from my lips as I go back on my heels. I tap his leg and when he realizes what I want, he kicks off his pants in record time. “Done protesting?” I tease.

His voice is surprisingly low, enchantingly tender, when he cups my face and whispers, “Done protesting, babe.”

I swallow as my heart expands, and I push to my feet. I tug on his shirt and he peels it over his head. Once he’s naked, I nudge him and he falls back onto the bed. He pushes back until he’s flat on his pillow. I grab my phone from my bag and turn on music. I can hardly believe I’m doing a strip tease for this man, yet here I am doing it. I’m not even sure what I’m doing but judging from the heat and lust brewing in his eyes, I’m not disappointing him.

“You’re so beautiful, Sahara.”

My throat constricts at the deep tenderness in his tone. His gaze drops as I remove my button-down blouse and my pencil skirt. I reach for the clip in my hair and meet his gaze, gauging his reaction.

There’s vulnerability in his blue eyes as they almost fall shut. “I…I really want you.”

I nod, feeling extremely emotional at this strange, almost dazed, yet widely open and honest state he’s in. In a quick move, I remove my glasses, set them on the nightstand, and crawl over him. His big hands land on my hips and that’s when I realize just how much I’ve missed his touch.

“I want you, babe,” he whispers, and there’s a hitch in his voice, one that makes me think—maybe even hope—that he’s talking about more.

“You’ve got me,” I answer, as he lifts my hips ready to pull me down onto his cock.

Condom.

As my inner voice screams at me, I put my hands over his to still him. “Protection.”

He shakes his head, like he’s mentally scolding himself. “Nightstand.”

I turn and glance at the drawer, and while I should be moving, I’m not. What is going on with me? “Maybe….” I begin, and his eyes soften even more as he puts his palm on the side of my face. “Maybe I don’t want to use one. Maybe I want to feel you come inside me.” I don’t tell him I’ve never done that before, but I get the sense that he knows.

“Aw, babe. I want that too, and I’m clean. I promise.”

My entire being tells me this man would never do anything to hurt me. “I’m clean too, and on the pill.”

“I know. I trust that you are,” he says and it’s like someone just punched me right in the solar plexus, because he shouldn’t trust me. “You okay?”

I gulp. “Why do you trust me?” I ask, sensing trust doesn’t come easy to him, and I’m playing with fire here.

Something comes over him. His eyes narrow, a storm brewing in the depths, as he goes quiet. Too quiet. For too long. When he finally breaks it, the turbulence in his eyes settles. “Because you’ve never given me a reason not to, and I’m…I’m tired of being a chicken shit.”

I nod, even though I have no idea what he’s talking about, although I suspect it’s something from his childhood. I touch his hair, all twisted up inside. Even though it’s true, I haven’t given him a reason not to trust me, I am keeping things from him. Mainly that I know who he is, and I’m not who he thinks I am. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. My throat tightens to the point of pain, and while I’m a good actress, I’m not a great one, and hiding this eruptive volcano going on inside of me can’t be done.

“Babe, hey, are you okay? If you’re tired?—”

“I want this. I want you.” I slowly lower myself, and his cock slides into my body, filling me so beautifully it brings tears to my eyes.

He lifts up, filling me even more, and his unapologetic grunt curls around me and squeezes tight.

“It’s good,” I tell him. “So good, Kalen.”

“Yeah, it’s good, babe.”

Everything about this, while it was supposed to be sexual, feels different. As I move my body, wanting to take care of him, this joining has turned tender and emotional, and my insides are a hot mess of overflowing lava. Perhaps it’s the skin-on-skin contact that is messing with me, pushing me past an invisible line I shouldn’t be crossing.

His grip on my hips tightens, and I put my hands on his chest, our gazes holding and locking as we move as one. We push and pull, each giving and taking, and I can’t help but wonder if he too thinks that what we’re doing here is more than just sex.

It could be all in my head, but if it’s not, well…if we’re both delving into something deeper, that’s not good. Nope not good at all considering he just said he trusted me and I haven’t been completely honest.

I’m going to need to end this sooner, rather than later.

He removes a hand from my hips and circles his finger around my sopping wet clit. My eyes begin to close, but I force them to stay open, wanting to bask in this magical moment, because there won’t be—can’t be—another.

But for now, I’m just going to push all my worries aside and give my body over to his touch.

My orgasm crashes over me like a tsunami, dragging me under until breathing is nearly impossible, and I don’t care. Right now I’m sure that breathing is overrated. Kalen groans as liquid heat pours from my body and sears his cock. Sex without a condom is unlike anything I’ve ever felt, physically and emotionally.

“Sahara. Jesus. You are incredible.” The warmth and appreciation in his eyes, swirls through me and settles deep in my chest. There is absolutely nothing repressed about this man between the sheets. He’s open and honest and…deserves better than me.

“You…this…incredible…” I manage to murmur as he reduces me to one-word sentences and for some reason that has a bubble of laughter climbing out of my throat. I think I might be losing it.

As I spill, he clenches down on his jaw, and puts both hands on my hips, holding me as I lift up and down, grinding, wringing every last pulse from my body. He looks like he’s in awe as I completely let go and a part of me knows…knows this isn’t just the actress from the stage…this is me. A part of who I am. A part of Darien Lewis. I have Kalen to thank for helping me discover this about myself. I’m not sure I could be so free with any other man.

“You want my cum?” he asks. “You want it inside you?”

“Yes,” I practically scream, dying for him to spurt inside me, for his sperm to fill my body, anything to keep a part of him with me, even if only for a short while. He pulls me down to him, his lips meeting mine and I gasp into his mouth as his seed spurts inside me. Warmth spreads through my body and I close my eyes, enjoying the delicious sensations. Damn, I know I said I have to end this, but how can I possibly do that when this feels so incredible.

He runs gentle hands along my back, his fingers hot against my skin as he touches my sides and lightly massages my shoulders. Once he stops spasming, his hands still and we hold each other until our breathing regulates.

“Babe,” he murmurs. “Are your legs okay?”

My heart clenches. Why does he have to be so thoughtful? I sit up and put a smile on my face, hoping it hides the bevy of emotions erupting inside me. “They are.”

His smile is sincere, genuine, as he begins to lift me. “Let’s get you in a more comfortable position.” He moves me around like I’m a rag doll, and once I’m lying beside him, he drops a soft kiss on my mouth. As emotions hit me again, I turn my head and put my hand over my mouth.

“You’re tired.”

“I’m okay, it was a long day.”

He lightly brushes my hair back. “I should have just tucked you in.”

“I like what we did better.”

He grins. “Good. I’ll be right back.”

This time when he leaves the bed and disappears, I know he’s coming back with a cloth to wash me. I’m not entirely sure I can handle much more of his sweetness tonight. Later, when he shows me the sexy costume he picked out for me, it should help remind me what this is and what it isn’t.

I stretch, feeling languid and spent, while the ensuite water runs. Suddenly the outer door downstairs opens and closes and I scramble to grab the sheets to pull them up as the sound of Taylor and Elias’ voices get louder as they climb the stairs. Shoot, I hope she doesn’t poke her head in here, or check the spare room to see that it’s empty. I listen for a long time and let out a breath, my shoulders relaxing as I hear doors across the hall close.

“Did I hear them come back?” Kalen asks, walking back to me and climbing onto the bed. He taps my legs like washing me up is just so natural and I can’t believe how at ease I’ve become with the process. Then again, I did masturbate in front of the man, and dammit, that was so much fun.

“Yeah, I think they went to sleep.”

He cleans me up and sets the cloth aside. His gaze moves over my face and he narrows his eyes. “You should get some sleep.”

“I want to see my costume, and…” I sigh and glance at my bookbag. “I really have to finish my book.” I rub my tired eyes. “Book club is coming up.”

“Right.” He stands and walks to his closet. He crinkles up his nose as he looks back at me. I sit up and arch a brow. “I hope you don’t think it’s stupid.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

He chuckles, but it holds no humor. “The last time I went to a dress-up party was just before I left for college. It was a masquerade party and I guess you can say we had couples’ costumes.”

He goes quiet for a brief second like he’s remembering something and my blood drains to my toes. Is he putting it together? After seeing me in my glasses, is he making the connection between me and the girl in the library? I look nothing like her anymore, and that was the point when I moved here, but there’s still a chance.

“Hey, are you okay?” he turns to me, the costumes in his hands, but my vision is currently so fuzzy, I can’t focus in on what he’s holding.

“Just tired.” It’s not a lie. I am tired.

He glances at the costumes in his hands. “We can wait until tomorrow.”

“No, show me.”

He grins. “Okay, so you’re salsa and I’m chips.” He holds them up and I sit there, my jaw agape, my eyes bugging out of my head as I look them over. He can’t be serious. He frowns. “You hate them. I just…I know women like to dress sexy…” He pauses and gives me a sheepish look. “I didn’t want any of the guys looking at your body.” He shakes his head like he’s being stupid, but he’s being anything but.

My heart stalls, and I crook my finger. He walks over, and I go up on my knees, put my arms around his neck and kiss him. He drops the costumes and pulls me to him. By the time we finish, we’re both breathless.

He angles his head, his brows furrowed. “What was that for?”

“For the costumes you picked out. I love them.” I love how thoughtful and protective he is of me. I know Taylor hates it, but deep down, their bond is strong and she appreciates him. Honestly, he only wants what’s best for her. My parents say the same about me. I have a hard time believing it, though. In their eyes, my success, or lack thereof, is a reflection on them.

I’m sure the only way they’d ever come to a local community theater to see me act is if they were hog tied and forced. Honestly, I’ve been in Boston for months now and they aren’t even talking about visiting, or seeing my place. Not that I want them to. They’d be mortified that I’m living in a place that had been broken into.

“Damn, I would have shown you them earlier if I knew you were going to react like that.” His voice brings me back and as I focus on him, he wets his bottom lip, like he’s still tasting me and I rub my tired eyes.

“Okay, in bed now,” he commands in a soft voice. I slide between the sheets. “Where do I find your e-reader?”

I gesture toward my bag, putting all thoughts of my family behind me. I don’t want anything to ruin this night with Kalen. “In there.”

He circles the bed, and opens my bag, pulling out the erotic books. He grins. “This is for another night.” He reaches for my e-reader. “Tonight. I’m going to read your book club romance to you until you fall asleep. That way you can’t blame me for not finishing it, because I’ve been keeping you busy at night.”

He grins and as I laugh at that, he tugs the covers up.

“Do you enjoy reading?” I ask.

“I used to read a lot in high school. Every chance I could and I always read to Taylor when she was young. I wish I had more time now.”

“I didn’t know that about you.”

“How could you? You didn’t know me in high school.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and settle into my pillow as he reaches into his drawer and puts on a pair of glasses.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” I say. He’s full of surprises tonight.

“I do for reading.” He winks and adds, “Tell no one.”

“You look hot.”

He grins. “You’re tired. I think you’re confusing hot and nerdy.”

“What’s wrong with nerdy?” I ask quietly.

“Nothing. If you want to know the truth, I’m really a nerd at heart.”

“Hardly.” He shrugs and I study him. If he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with nerds, and if he thinks he really is one, maybe he would have liked that side of me.

Ah, but it was the woman on stage he was attracted to, not the nerdy girl from high school.

He tucks the covers around me. “Now settle in.”

He opens my e-reader and picks up where I left off. I lose myself in his words, and while a part of me knows I need to run away, I can’t help but think I should do it after the Halloween party. He went through the trouble of finding us cute costumes, and I’m so freaking touched that he wants to protect my body, not showcase it to his friends, that I can’t leave just yet. He’ll wonder why, and he can never know the reason. No, I’ll play this out until after the party, and then like we both agreed, we go our own ways.

Of course, none of this has to do with the fact that he wants to read erotic stories to me…