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S tephan’s eyes fluttered open. Through the blurriness of sleep, he recognized his bedroom. Home, he was home—he must have passed out, as he couldn’t remember leaving the forest.

Knowing that he’d probably caused both Liam and Jayden to worry, Stephan instantly felt a bit guilty.

However, a small part of him—minuscule, really—was happy that he hadn’t had to trek back through the forest.

Okay, that was a lie. It was a large part of him. Stephan detested being in nature. He loved looking at it, but hated being in it. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if his hair didn’t catch on everything—doubtful.

Blinking a few times, Stephan tried to focus. He attempted to wipe the sleep from his eyes, but the hands gripping his prevented it.

“You’re awake,” stated a deep voice he instantly recognized.

Peering to the right, Stephan found his gaze traveling over a well-defined chest, outlined in a black T-shirt. His eyes continued upward, tracing the thick veins in the man’s neck, up to the familiar rectangular-shaped face, over his square jawline, plush bottom lip, and strong pointed nose, to his high cheekbones, until he finally settled on the vampire’s empty black eyes.

As heat flooded both his face and body, he quickly averted his gaze. Stephan knew better than to examine Jayden so thoroughly. Doing it normally was a bad idea, but doing it while he was stuck in bed was exceedingly dumb.

His attraction to Jayden was something Stephan had forced himself to ignore. Something he’d stubbornly refused to admit to himself when the feelings had first started to trickle through three years ago, and he denied them until he couldn’t any longer.

Because not only did Stephan find the vampire attractive, he was also stupidly in love with the man. And as looking at Jade too closely brought forward those feelings, many of which were very sexual, he tried not to. Because they terrified him.

Pushing the thoughts away, Stephan used his free hand to wipe the gunk from his eyes, frowning with how shaky his hand was, before finally responding to Jade. “Awake enough.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired. I guess I overextended myself… Could you help me sit?”

Jayden’s brow wrinkled, but he did as he asked, releasing his hold on his hand. Stephan squealed, flailing weakly when his body was abruptly jerked upward.

“Sorry,” the man grunted. “I keep forgetting how tiny you are. You weigh like nothing. Are you eating enough? ”

Stephan glared. “Well, excuse me! Not everyone can be a behemoth like you!”

“According to the healer, you could have died, Stephan. You shouldn’t have done what you did.”

He blinked at the sudden subject change. Well, it wasn’t like Jade had ever been very subtle—or possibly, he just didn’t care enough to bother. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.

“Yes, well, I probably shouldn’t have done it in one sitting.”

“You shouldn’t have done it at all!” Jayden growled.

Stephan fidgeted slightly under the weight of Jayden’s anger. He really didn’t want to fight right now. He was tired, and Jade wouldn’t have liked his thoughts on the subject anyway. Truth be told, even if he had gotten hurt—if it meant helping Jayden—Stephan would do it again. He would never stop if it meant what he was doing could help, regardless of how it affected him.

Licking his dry lips, he softly murmured, “It’s fine. I’m fine. Is…is your, um, monster still there?”

The vampire took a deep breath. “Yes, apparently, he’s permanent. Which is just one more reason for us to finally end this.”

Stephan’s brow pulled in confusion. “End what?”

“Us!” Jayden snapped. “Stephan, we can’t keep doing this! I can’t keep doing this…” The man seemed to suddenly deflate, as he slowly reached out and took his hand again, squeezing it gently. “It’s time, Stephan. It’s time for you to let me go.”

Looking paler than he normally did, Jayden’s shoulders had hunched, his expression turning grim. He just looked…defeated. But all Stephan felt, on hearing and se eing the man so willing to give up on their family, was anger.

Snatching his hand away, he screamed, “No! Never!”

“Stephan…” Jayden trailed off weakly.

“I won’t! I can fix this! I know what to do now! So it’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Everything is going to work out!”

In the most soothing and gentle voice he’d ever heard the man use, Jayden rasped, “How could it possibly work out? I told you, I can’t stop.”

“The Zaytari.”

The man’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re going to turn me in?”

“What?! No! You’re going to join them!” Stephan screeched, outraged at the very thought.

Jayden let out a short bark of disbelief. “Stephan, did you hit your head when you fell?” The man threaded his hand through Stephan’s hair. “Or have you just finally lost it?”

Slapping Jayden’s hand away, he huffed when the man pulled and likely tangled his hair further in his efforts to tug his hand free. “Of course not! Wha?—”

“I’m pretty sure being a murderer has eliminated any possible chances I had at joining the Zaytari.”

“Let me finish,” Stephan sang. “What we’re going to do is ask for a meeting with the head of one of the three Zaytari groups closest to us. A mind search is required of all applicants, so they will find out what you have done. However, before they do, I’ll talk with them.

“Considering the special circumstances, not to mention the crimes of your ‘victims’, I truly believe it won’t be as big of a hurdle as you think. I have a few possible groups in mind. All have leaders that are old enough to understand the difficulties you’re facing, and the need for guidance. I just know one of them will help you find a position. One that will allow you to pursue your, umm…urges.”

“And what position is that?”

“Executioner.”

Jayden blinked, tilting his head. “What?”

He supposed the man wouldn’t know. It wasn’t a position that was discussed much.

“It’s the most violent position in the Zaytari. Their purpose is to punish and eliminate. Not that Zaytari enforcers don’t do so, as well, but the majority of the killing is done by the executioner. And an executioner’s identity is never revealed to the public, due to fear of retaliation by disgruntled relatives and so on.”

Saying nothing, Jayden straightened his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. Stephan figured the vampire was thinking. As his face remained vacant, he wasn’t sure how Jayden was taking his idea.

After a moment, the man asked, “What if it doesn’t work?”

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Stephan asserted with surety. Even if it did go south, he would do whatever it took to keep Jayden safe.

“You do realize that when they find out what I’ve done, you’ll also be exposed.”

Stephan sighed. “I know.” It was something he’d realized the minute he’d thought of the idea. But Stephan had already accepted the risks that came with his plan. As long as it helped Jayden, what happened to him didn’t matter.

Jade’s gaze drifted off—he looked so lost. “I don’t understand you… ”

“What…don’t you understand?”

Their eyes met. Jayden peered intently, as if he were trying to figure out a puzzle. “Why? Why would you risk so much for me? I just don’t get it. You could lose everything.”

It was a good question, even reasonable, but it was not one Stephan wanted to answer. Well, it was one he wasn’t sure he had the courage to answer.

Stephan found it a bit frustrating that Jayden hadn’t realized why by now. Even if it was unreasonable for him to expect the vampire to guess. But…wasn’t it obvious?! Did he really have to say it?!

Okay, it was more than unreasonable for him to want Jade to recognize a feeling he probably hadn’t experienced often, or possibly at all. A feeling that even Stephan struggled to rationalize. Hell, Jayden had issues understanding a lot of emotions—shame, remorse, pity, mercy, and most, if not all of the softer emotions. It was completely unfair of Stephan to be mad about it.

Ugh, he was such a coward, a selfish coward. He always expected so much of Jayden…it wasn’t right.

Stephan gulped—he could do this. His heart may be racing, his body trembling, not to mention Stephan felt as if he was about to pass out, and the room had also started to spin a little—that was a bit disconcerting—but he could definitely do this.

Oh no, was the room getting smaller?

One of Jayden’s brows rose. “You okay? You’re even paler than before…” He stretched his hand out toward Stephan.

His voice barely audible, Stephan confessed, “I love you.”

The hand above him froze. Jayden’s shocked expression earlier couldn’t even compare to how he looked now. The vampire was downright gaping at him. Stephan was almost positive that Jade had stopped breathing.

He avoided Jayden’s eyes, his face radiating heat…a heat he felt all the way to the pointed tips of his ears.

The reaction wasn’t super…encouraging. Stephan would, honestly, be extremely grateful if his stuffed animals would avalanche down and suffocate him. Like, was death by fluff too much to ask for?!

Jayden cleared his throat, and when he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. “Why—” The man cut off, taking a shuddered breath, before trying again. “How could you? After what I’ve done. How could you?”

Wringing his hands, Stephan somehow managed to stutter out a reply. “I-it’s not s-something I can easily ex-explain. I-I just d-do.”

Jayden shot to his feet, his hands clenched, but his face was void of emotion. “Move over.”

It was an odd request, but he did it anyway. Stuffed animals and pillows fell to the floor as Stephan scooched over, pushing them aside to make room. Feeling slightly winded by the time he made a significant amount of space beside him, his eyes went wide when Jayden slid onto the bed and pulled him into his arms.

Staring at Jayden’s covered chest, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from stiffening up, as his pulse began to race in fear.

Logically, he knew he was safe. Unfortunately, his body wasn’t listening to him. Stephan’s fears were bubbling up to the surface, and he had to fight to maintain control.

An anguished cry slipped out at the realization that he couldn’t even handle being held by the man he loved. How fucked up was that? He was just as broken as Jayden, except Stephan had been too arrogant to admit it!

Heavy with despair at what he would never have, tears welled up in his eyes.

It wasn’t fair—Stephan wanted to be with Jayden so badly. Anger swiftly took the place of fear as it built up inside him, feeling bitter on his tongue. There was so much of it—anger at himself, and at those who made him like this. Slowly, the ball of hatred Stephan kept sealed away started to crack open.

“I love you.”

Stephan blinked, so startled by the three little words that his hatred let up on its attempts to break free. One of Jayden’s large hands gently tilted his face up.

“Your eyes,” Jayden croaked, the man’s own growing wide.

Shutting them, Stephan took a deep breath, forcing himself to gain control of his anger. When he opened his eyes again, Jayden gasped, looking no less shocked.

The vampire ran his thumb under one of his eyes, his gaze searching. “How? They were as black as mine… But…how?”

Stephan laughed bitterly. “Jayden, my anger can run just as hot as yours, as can my hatred. I just have better control over it.” Tears broke free as he sobbed. “I wish I could be with you…”