Page 11

TWO YEARS LATER

W aiting on the sidewalk next to one of his companies, Stephan’s gaze traveled along the passing traffic—searching for a familiar figure.

The rumbling of a motorcycle drawing near brought a smile to his face.

Speeding down the road on a Ducati Monster was a man in a leather jacket, black jeans, biker boots, and a helmet. The person slowed as he got closer, before eventually rolling to a stop, only a few feet in front of Stephan.

After turning off the bike, the vampire kicked down the stand and dismounted. The rider removed his helmet, revealing his pale skin, short, feathery black hair, and black eyes that looked like empty dark pits.

Stephan’s gaze didn’t linger on the familiar features, but it honestly struck him then how much the vampire had changed in the ten years he’d known him. He was taller, and a hell of a lot more muscular, yet those eyes, his hair, and that super pale skin of his never altered…

“Jade, you got here fast.”

Jayden grunted, unzipped his leather jacket, before pulling out a file. “Whatever, here.” He handed it over.

Stephan’s smile widened at the vampire’s grumpiness. “Thank you so much. I can’t believe I forgot it.”

His smile fell a bit, his brow wrinkling the longer he looked at the man. There was a tick in his jaw, and one of Jayden’s eyes seemed to be twitching, as the man shifted back and forth. Overall, he seemed…twitchy—at least, more so than normal.

Was the man feeling well? While immortals rarely got sick, it could still happen. It was very rare—extremely rare. Almost impossible, actually, unless they were poisoned, or a human hybrid…or pregnant. He was pretty sure Jayden was none of the three, but still…

“Is everything all right, Jayden?”

Jayden grimaced. “You know I hate coming into the city.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. If I hadn’t needed the file for my meeting, and Liam wasn’t busy, I wouldn’t have asked. Thank you, again.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now, go on. I know you’re already late.” Jayden waved his hand, shooing him away.

“Yes…the people I’m meeting with aren’t very patient. See you at home later, bye!” Pushing his worries for Jayden aside, he turned and walked swiftly toward the building.

A s Stephan rushed away, Jayden remained frozen on the sidewalk—watching. His heartbeat spiked as the voices seemed to grow louder, assaulting him further. Staggering back, he leaned against his bike. It was too much.

Jayden avoided the city for a reason—too many people. Too many voices, and each visit was worse than the last.

It was partly his own fault. Jayden had avoided highly populated areas for years. He wasn’t used to keeping his mental walls up when surrounded by so many minds. Nor would he ever be, as he had no intention of increasing the number of times he ventured into the city.

To make matters worse, his fucking powers were growing stronger each year. Everything was getting worse. But that was only one of the reasons he avoided the city.

Jayden hadn’t lost the fight against his instincts yet, but he didn’t want to push his luck. His monster wanted to be let free. The memories of what he had done taunted him, trying to lure him in for another taste. Each day, Jayden found it harder to control his temper. He was beginning to feel increasingly unstable. Considering Jayden hadn’t exactly been stable to begin with, he was pretty sure that was a bad thing.

For Stephan alone, Jayden wanted to be normal. Really, he did. But he just… wasn’t . There was too much rage and hate inside him.

After putting his helmet back on, Jayden hopped onto his bike. Soon he was speeding through the streets, rushing away from the noisy city.

He would sacrifice a lot of himself for Stephan… The man had always felt different to him, and had made him feel different. Though, his emotions had changed as the years went by, as he went further into ‘adulthood’. He hadn’t understood the ways they’d changed at first. Until two years ago, that was.

Realizing exactly why he reacted to Stephan the way he did, had honestly rocked him to the core. The reason had been stupidly simple, but entirely foreign to him.

Jayden was in love with him—it was a brand-new emotion, but real enough. And as much as he was able to, he loved Stephan. But like most of his other emotions, his love was twisted, possessive, and dangerously irrational.

Jayden was positive he’d murder anyone who got between them—and he almost had.

Innocent or not, almost killing one of Stephan’s business partners, who had tried getting too close for his liking, happened to be the exact same fucking moment he realized that monsters could in fact fall in love.

Realistically, he should have been able to ignore it. Stephan hadn’t returned the man’s advances—there hadn’t even been a hint of interest on his part—but the murderous rage hadn’t given a flying fuck.

Jayden had come so close to killing Mr. Helven in his own home. Unfor—thankfully, he had managed to stop before actually going through with it.

Of course, then Jayden had found himself in an interesting predicament—how to explain the man’s injuries .

Staging a car crash had been a new experience, but not one Jayden found particularly difficult. Though, he had ended up with some questionable bruises. Jayden knew for damn sure that Stephan hadn’t believed his story about falling down the stairs.

Erasing Mr. Helven’s mind, and implanting the new memories, had been a piece of cake. Making sure the medical paperwork had backed it up, however, had been a giant pain in the ass—not to mention cleaning up the bloody mess he’d left in the man’s house. It had taken hours. The inconsiderate bastard had to have white carpet. Really, who the fuck has white carpet?! It stains!

Jayden was honestly both surprised and baffled that he hadn’t gotten caught.

The verdict was still out on whether it had been a mistake to leave him alive. The annoying twit still hit on Stephan every once in a while. He supposed it was two years too fucking late to realize that he wouldn’t have lost any sleep over it.

Whatever, it hadn’t been a total waste of time. The information he’d gained about the workings of his tracking chip had made it worth it. That information being that Stephan wasn’t alerted to his activities if he wasn’t near a warehouse.

It had allowed him to kill someone who’d been on his radar for a while. His one and only slip-up during the past five years, since making his promise to Stephan. Jayden didn’t count what he had done to Mr. Helven—him still breathing canceled it out. And as he hadn’t been alone when he did it, he didn’t really count the man he had killed either.

Like all of the others, the man had deserved his death. To be honest, letting the person live for so long had been a painful, constant source of rage and irritation.

Six years—that’s how long Jayden had waited. Six fucking years of just watching the bastard, because he hadn’t known how to beat his tracker.

The only reason Jayden had left him alive for so long was that he hadn’t wanted Stephan to know what the man had done. Knowing would likely kill something in the small elf, and while it wouldn’t have been his fault, Jayden would still feel as if it was, since he would have been the one to reveal it. In his mind, Stephan worrying about someone being missing was better than him being devastated by his betrayal. And if it was up to Jayden, Stephan would never know.

The only person who did know was Liam. The other vampire being the reason he hadn’t been alone when he’d killed. In fact, the man had helped him. That had been another rather shocking revelation. The straitlaced vampire had a dark side—who would have known?

So, yeah, Jayden’s homicidal tendencies—even without a target—were worse than before, and less selective when it came to Stephan’s love life.

Not that Stephan really had a love life. Not that he and Stephan were together. Not that Jayden hadn’t dreamed of being with the elf—he had. But they weren’t lovers, and probably never would be. The man was terrified of sexual contact of any kind—hell, even non-sexual.

Even so, in his mind, Stephan was his. That fun psychotic part of him refused to think otherwise. Jayden’s feelings were now pretty much the only thing holding him back from what his mind was urging him to do.

However, he feared it wouldn’t last for much longer. The weight of his needs increased every day. And he knew that when the time came…what he’d regret the most was not the act, but how disappointed Stephan would be.

Jayden turned onto a narrow gravel road that led to the Glayd National Forest parking lot. After parking, he got off his motorcycle and looked around. The forest in front of him was thick. The trees reached up high into the sky, hiding the sun from view. It was lush, beautiful, and full of life.

Tilting his head back, Jayden took in the fresh spring air. Over the last four years, Jayden had taken to wandering around the forest every time he felt close to the edge—which meant he’d been there too many times to count.

He had explored many areas of the forest, often going off the carved paths. The more agitated Jayden was, the longer he hiked and the more distance he covered—he would go far today.

As he started his trek into the forest, branches and fallen leaves crunched under his boots, it was calming, being surrounded by so much life. A bit odd considering how deadly his urges were.

For hours, all Jayden heard were the soothing sounds of nature—the movements of small creatures, the twittering of birds, the wind sighing as it blew through the trees. But his calm was eventually interrupted.

A man’s booming voice had him tripping over a tree root. His hands scraped on the ground as he fell. On his knees, Jayden gasped, grabbing his head as it rang—the voice echoing in his mind.

No…no one else should be out this far.

“Scream, scream, Little Girl… Doesn’t matter, no one will hear you… You’re mine.”

A little girl did scream, and it wasn’t in his mind .

No, no, no, no—this couldn’t be happening. Still clutching his head, Jayden began to rock on the ground, as his heart started to race in panic.

“Please, someone help me!”

The girl’s internal cries for help, along with the vocal ones, forced him to his feet. Jayden couldn’t do nothing . He couldn’t just let her die. He would…save her and turn the man in—that’s what he would do.

Jayden closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He could do that. Stephan showed him there were other ways. He could do this…

But killing him would feel so good.

“No!” Jayden cried in denial at the voice, even though it was his own. It was inside him—it was his monster.

And then…though his eyes were closed, he found himself staring into eyes that mirrored his own. His breath caught, a chill running through him as he stared into the inky black gaze—standing before him, barely discernible from the darkness, was himself.

The other him cocked his head in a bird-like fashion. “Out here, no one would have to know. Stephan wouldn’t find out… We…we can finally release our rage!”

Taking a staggered step back, eyes still closed, tears welled up. “No!” he screamed, before practically begging, “Please. Please, stop…”

Taking a gasping breath, he tried to will whatever it was away. To banish it from his sight. Because what else could he do?! Jayden had to fight it—he couldn’t give in!

How was this happening? Why was this happening? When had Jayden’s monster become something separate?! Separate, yet…it was…still him.

Was it…still him?! His monster stood before him, talking to him, yet…there were thoughts of killing that were clearly its own. Had he just finally gone completely insane?!

“He deserves to die! We need to kill him! We NEED to make him bleed… The joy we would feel if we did… The pain and terror we could inflict, it would be worth it!”

“No, no, no!” he growled, pressing hard against the sides of his head. “Bad, Jayden. You can do this…we are stronger than this!”

His monster began to pace in his mind, his movements jerky from agitation.

“We’re not. We need this, Jayden.” His monster’s pacing stopped, and he stood still, staring once again. “It’s what we do. We need to kill! We need this. It’s who we are…nothing you do can change that.”

His chest was rising fast, as he started to desperately drag in air while grasping for his control. But it slipped away more and more the longer he remained there—his urges growing by the second. The voices of the man and little girl were ever present, pushing Jayden closer to his breaking point.

He had tried so hard to be good… He had struggled for so long—it wasn’t fair ! All his efforts, Jayden couldn’t waste them now. He couldn’t!

“I won’t!” Jayden screamed.

Opening his eyes, with his head in his hands, he stumbled onward. Jayden could do this…he could do this.

“I can do this. I can, I’ve gotten this far…I ca?—”

“We can never be what Stephan wants us to be. Why keep trying?”

The words stopped his forward trek. Jayden’s hands fell to his sides, as his tears broke free and trailed down his face.

The voice was right. Jayden could never be what Stephan wanted. He had tried…by the Gods, Jayden had tried! But he couldn’t do it forever…

Even with his eyes open, in his mind, Jayden could still see the other him. While fainter than before, it was still there, his monster’s expression was now almost sad.

“We can’t run away from ourselves, Jayden. We can’t be someone we’re not… Not even for the person we love…”

Jayden leaned against a nearby tree. Biting his lip, he choked back a sob as more tears joined the others. His monster was right. He couldn’t keep doing this, not even for Stephan. Holding back every day had become a struggle, even more than he’d been willing to admit. Like a constant fucking ache inside him. He’d tried to avoid places that might set him off—tried to swallow it all down and make it go away, and he just…couldn’t.

Jayden wanted to, so badly did he want to. He wished he could be what Stephan wanted him to be.

While the last bit of hope he’d held onto, of ever being normal, slipped away, it felt like something inside him died with it. When had Jayden foolishly started to believe that just maybe he wasn’t a monster…? That he didn’t have to be one…

“I’m sorry. I held back as long as I could. Tell him that. If I could just disappear, I would…but I can’t. I don’t know how…”

As those whispered words floated up, it was as if he and his monster merged. Jayden’s mind was his own again—no one was there to talk back, only darkness. So much darkness.

He straightened, moved away from the tree, and brushed the pieces of bark and dirt off of him from when he’d fallen. His cheeks were damp, but his tears had dried up .

Marching forward, Jayden followed the direction of the voices.

“I’m sorry, Stephan…” His soft apology, heard by no one, was quickly swept away by the wind.