Page 40

Chapter forty

Rhett

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

“Y’see, um. Well.” My face is bright fucking red as I look everywhere but at my mom. It’s not as if she doesn’t know I have sex. I’m a grown-ass, red-blooded, American man, for Christ’s sake. But she’s never once come across evidence like this. And for it to be Evie, someone she’s known for years, feels doubly awkward.

Mom breaks the stare, laughing at my obvious discomfort. “Oh Rhett, bless your heart. I’m just teasin’. You and Evie are adults, and I trust that I raised you right and you’re being respectful. I ended up napping in the spare room.” Mom smirks as she sits down at the end of the couch. Ruthie immediately hops up and drapes her long body over her lap. “Now. Sit down and talk to your mama.”

I sink down at the other end, taking a few slow breaths to try and settle my embarrassment. “I’m still sorry you had to figure it out like that. I shoulda been honest from the start.”

Mama waves her hand. “It’s fine. But tell me, is it serious? It better be, if you’re messin’ around in the bedroom.”

I shift in my seat. “I really do not want to be discussing my bedroom activities with you, Mama. Respectfully.”

“Do you love her?”

I freeze.

“Rhett?” Mama leans forward. “Son. What’s going through that handsome head of yours?”

I swallow around a suddenly dry throat. The week my dad died, I remember sitting by his bedside, listening to him talk. During one conversation, he told me to never settle for anything less than the love he and Mama had for each other. I was just a stupid, selfish teenager at the time, and love was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to figure out how to graduate from high school and make it to the big leagues.

Now I find myself wishing I had asked him how the hell I would know if I ever found that kind of love. Maybe then I’d be able to answer Mama’s question.

“I don’t know.”

Mama rears back, surprise on her face. “I must admit, that is not what I thought you’d say. I was very much gettin’ the feeling she was the one.”

I let my head fall back against the couch as I slump down, staring at the ceiling, one hand going to scratch Ruthie’s back. “How the hell would I know?”

“What on earth do you mean?” Mama sounds so legitimately baffled by my question, I turn to look at her.

“How would I know if she was the one? I’ve never been in love, never had feelings like this for anyone. You always said you and Dad were soulmates, but what does that even mean? How did you figure that out? Everyone says it’ll just happen, but how? How am I meant to know if Evie is the one ? ”

“Oh honey.” Mama’s face falls. “You’ve been waiting for some big sign, thinking it’ll be coming from somewhere other than inside of you.” She shakes her head. “Your daddy and I failed you, I guess, if we let you believe falling in love was like that. It isn’t, Rhett. It doesn’t come from anywhere but your heart. Sometimes, love means wanting nothing more than to see that person happy. It means doing the little things you know will bring a smile to their face. It means nothing feels better than their hugs. It means pushing through the hard times because the good times are worth fightin’ for.” She lifts Ruthie off her lap and moves next to me, taking my hand in hers.

“Your father and I, we loved each other very much. I knew he was the one for me. But not because there was some magical moment or big, clear sign that we were meant to be together. I knew because he made me feel safe and happy every day. Because my heart, when I really stopped to listen to it, told me there was no one else I wanted to spend my life with.”

“Evie makes me feel safe,” I say quietly, returning to staring at the ceiling. “She sees me, Mama. She sees past me playing baseball, past me not being able to read. She doesn’t just see who I am on the outside. She sees who I am on the inside.”

“Then she’s a lucky woman. Because you’re an amazing man on the inside, and on the outside. And I’m not just sayin’ that as your mama.”

My hand lifts to brush away a tear. “Fuck.” I turn with a wince. “Sorry, Mama.”

She waves me off with her free hand. “It’s fine. Sometimes big emotional revelations need a curse word or two.”

“But how can she be the one if she’s gonna leave me for this job?” I quietly voice the fear that’s been making my stomach twist for the last twenty-four hours.

“Because if she matters, then you’ll find a way to make it work.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It can be, if you let it.” Mama pats my hand, then settles back on the couch. “Try listening to your heart instead of your head.”

I try to do just that. And for a second, all I hear is the rain coming down outside, hitting the window. Until the voice in my heart finally gets loud enough to be heard over the pounding of my heart.

“I love her, Mama.”

As soon as I say it, there’s a flash of lightning, followed by a boom of thunder. And then we’re plunged into darkness when the power goes out.

“Glad you figured it out, son, but did your sign have to be so dramatic?”

The next morning, Mama informs me over coffee that she’s going to stay in a hotel for the remainder of her trip. “You and Evie need time to talk, and you don’t need your mother hovering. But tell that young lady to come and sit with me at the game tonight, y’hear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a grin, bending down to hug her tightly. “Thank you, Mama.”

“I did nothin’ except get through your thick skull to make you realize what you already knew. Same thing I had to do with your daddy plenty of times.”

I chuckle. “We know where I get my hardheadedness from.”

“And your softheartedness.” Mama cups my cheek. “You’re a good man, and Evie’s a lucky lady.”

“Thanks.” I cover her hand with my own. “Come over for breakfast tomorrow with me and Evie?”

“I’d like that,” she says with a smile. “Now you make sure to hit the ball hard for me tonight.”

“Straight into the outfield,” I promise with a grin.

After she leaves, I tidy up the apartment, including the incriminating sleep shorts that are still on the arm of the couch. Even once that’s done and laundry is on, I can’t sit still. I’m too tightly wound, and Ruthie is picking up on it, judging by how underfoot she is. “C’mon, let’s go for a run, little lady.”

Mindful of my knee, I take it slow and easy on a short jog around the neighbourhood to try and get my mind to settle. Evie hasn’t been in touch since her message telling me about her ferry being canceled, and I’m reluctant to reach out simply because it would be impossible not to blurt out the fact that I love her.

And she deserves more than just an impulsive text.

Besides, my head keeps spinning, trying to come up with a way to make it work if she gets the job. Which I’m sure she will.

When I get home, I take a quick shower and start gathering things that I’ll need later. I’m not due at the stadium for a couple more hours, and I’m not sure how I’ll last that long without spontaneous combustion.

It’s as if saying the words I love her last night released the pressure on a valve I had tightly shut. And now it’s exploding out of me, uncontrollable.

I’m on the floor, working through a set of fifty push-ups, when my phone vibrates. I collapse down, stretching my arm up to fumble it off the coffee table.

It’s a message.

From Evie.

For once, I don’t make my phone read it out to me. I open the message, needing to see her words for myself, even if it takes longer than I want it to, just to read one short message.

EVIE: On the ferry now, be home soon. We need to talk.

My heart fucking sinks. Then she sends another.

EVIE: I can’t wait to see you.

There’s a heart emoji, and my sinking heart flip-flops and starts to lift. Goddamn. I need time to hurry the hell up. A glance at the clock tells me she should be home before I have to leave.

I don’t waste a moment trying to type, instead dictating a quick response.

RHETT: Same honey I’ll be here waiting

My brain snags on one word. Home. She said she would be home soon. Does that mean Vancouver, or does that mean here with me?

I don’t want to read too much into it, but my heart lifts just a little more.

And I drop back down for another round of push-ups.