Page 13

Chapter thirteen

Evie

Even after Rhett and Kai leave, it takes almost an hour for my heart rate to slow down to normal. I’m absolutely stunned, my brain is completely spinning, and I feel so out of my depth I don’t quite know what to do.

This is not a normal feeling for me, and I can’t say I like it very much. I’m used to having a clear mind, knowing exactly what to do, and how to handle things. I had to be that way from a young age so I didn’t fall behind from missing school due to my asthma. Being organized and in control helped me graduate at the top of my class.

But apparently, I put too much effort into proving myself academically and intellectually, and not enough socially. Because when it comes to men, I’m clueless on what to do.

Rhett managed to flip my entire world upside down in only a handful of minutes. And the fact that I actually felt his lips on mine and could have felt even more, yet didn’t, thanks to my stupid brother interrupting, has me feeling even more spun around in circles.

I eventually manage to get up off the couch and take Ruthie out for another walk. She doesn’t seem to mind or notice that I feel so off-kilter. But I’m a distracted mess, almost walking into people and trees as we wander down the streets of Vancouver.

When we eventually make our way back home, I go through the motions of making something to eat even though I am anything but hungry. But I still feel the need to try and distract myself because fixating on what happened earlier won’t give me any answers to the questions swirling in my brain.

I’m dumping eggs onto a plate with some fruit and toast when my phone vibrates on the kitchen counter. Turning it over slowly, I take a deep breath to steady myself.

Is it him? Is he texting me to say he regrets what he did this morning and it was all a big misunderstanding? I’m not sure how I would survive if that’s the case.

But no, thank God, it’s not Rhett.

CARLEE: Hey girl. I wanted to say again how sorry I am about last night. I was out of line, for sure, with my comment about Rhett and with teasing you about hooking up with him.

CARLEE: I hope you forgive me. Buuuut. I do think you should at least consider testing the waters, seeing if maybe he’d be interested in something. I caught him looking at you for just a second last night, and that look was pure fire.

I pick up my phone and press the button to call her on a video chat. Her image fills the screen, and I can see the remorse written all over her face .

“Hey, you,” she says. “Everything okay this morning?”

I nod. “Everything’s fine. I know you didn’t mean it last night; we should have remembered tequila gives you no filter from your brain to your mouth.”

We both laugh, and Carlee exhales in relief. “Seriously, it’s worse than truth serum. I felt so bad when I woke up this morning.”

“You sure that has nothing to do with you being almost thirty?” I tease, and Carlee narrows her brows at me.

“You shush.”

Her phone moves as she walks over to her couch and sits down. And a glint comes into her eyes. “I do find it interesting how quickly you jumped to his defense, however. Are you sure there’s nothing else you want to tell me?”

I laugh nervously. “Like what? The fact that I have a crush on him isn’t new."

“Mm-hmm,” Carlee says, her head moving up and down slowly. “Except I thought it was a crush. Not is a crush. One implies you’re over it, the other implies you’re very much not. And the way you defended him last night? That is the action of a woman who is definitely not over her crush.”

There’s absolutely no chance of hiding my blush. And I know the second Carlee sees the colour darkening my cheeks, because she points a finger at the screen. “Ah-ha! I knew it! No truth serum needed.”

“We kissed this morning,” I blurt out in a rush, dropping my face into my hands.

“Wait, what?”

I quickly explain what happened earlier, right up to Kai showing up and letting himself into Rhett’s apartment.

“I’ve never been cockblocked by my brother, and I don’t exactly want to experience it again,” I end dramatically.

“I’m pretty sure cockblocking is for dudes.”

“Then whatever the female equivalent is.”

“Clam jammed.”

I snort a giggle at that. “Seriously? That sounds ridiculous.”

“The other options are worse. How about beaver impeder? Cliterference? Taco blocko?”

I stare at the phone screen, horrified, and yet, also amused. “How come women get all the weird names like beaver and taco, and guys just get cock or dick?”

“Oh girl. You need to get out more,” Carlee teases. “There’s also pecker, joystick, tallywacker, soldier —”

“Stop! Oh my God, stop.” We’re both full-on laughing now. “Can you imagine being in bed with a guy and calling it a tallywacker?”

“Here, baby, let’s put my tallywacker into your taco,” Carlee says in a deep, ridiculous voice.

When our laughter eventually dies down, I slump back against the couch, my gaze going to the ceiling. “Thanks Carlee, I needed this.”

My friend is silent for a beat before she answers. “You know I love you, and respect you and how smart you are. You think things through and don’t make rash decisions. But sometimes, trusting your gut instead of your brain is the better choice. What’s your gut telling you to do?”

It takes me even longer to think over my response. “Honestly? I don’t even know. As enticing as it is to think about giving in to what I feel for Rhett, and what he might feel for me, I still worry about Kai. How he would feel if I hooked up with his best friend.” I pause and think over what I’ve said. “But that’s not even my biggest fear. What if I go to Rhett and he turns me down again? I still have to live with him, Carlee. I have nowhere else to go. And if he rejects me, there’s no way I could stay here.”

“First of all, based on what you said happened earlier, he’s not going to reject you. And second, you might disagree, but I don’t think your brother should have an influence in this decision at all. It’s your life, and what you choose to do and who you choose to do it with is nobody’s business but your own.” She holds up a hand as if she can tell I’m about to protest. “I know it’s messy with them being best friends and teammates. But do you really think Kai would be that upset?”

My head moves up and down emphatically. “He can be so overprotective of me sometimes. There’s no way he would be okay with me dating any of his teammates. Besides, I’m pretty sure Kai thinks Rhett is just another older brother for me.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious Rhett doesn’t feel that way,” Carlee says candidly. “And aren’t you the one who said he’s a good guy? Any time he comes up in the media, it’s always positive. Sure, he’s been pictured with some women, but never anything serious, so maybe he’d be up for a no-strings-attached fling. Just some fun for the two of you this summer, and then that’s it.”

I consider what she’s suggesting. The problem is, I don’t know if I could do no strings attached. Not with Rhett. Not when I know he’ll still be in my life afterward, even if only through my brother.

“All I’m saying is, I know you don’t want a relationship right now, you want to focus on getting your life-after-university established and stuff. But I also know how self-conscious you are when it comes to guys and your lack of experience.”

Carlee’s voice is gentle and I know what she’s saying is coming from a good place, but it still makes me uncomfortable and I shift in my seat.

“What if Rhett is the perfect man to help you get over that? Just consider it. That’s all.”

“I’ll think about it,” I reply quietly. And it’s not a lie, if anything, I doubt I’ll be able to think about anything else.