Page 20

NINETEEN

Olivia

When I roll over in the gray morning light and realize where I am, I press my lips together around a giddy smile, not daring to move. Noah is asleep on his back, with his hand stretched out toward me, his features softened in sleep.

I’ve never seen him sleep before.

He’s never let me.

As quietly as possible, I tuck my hand under my cheek and watch him. His chest rises and falls with each slow breath and his dark brows are relaxed, long lashes brushing his cheeks.

As I watch though, his brows draw down and he rolls, hand searching across the mattress until it reaches me. He gathers me against him, letting out a long sigh. Then he’s still again.

My heart about melts with sweetness at this unconscious sign of how much he wants me. He’ll never let it show when he’s awake. I guess I’ll have to hold onto the memory of what he does when he’s drunk or dreaming.

We lay like that another hour before he stirs again, and I don’t have the heart to wake him even when my arm goes to sleep.

When he finally groans and rolls away, I slide out of bed and fetch a glass of water from the kitchen, handing it to him as he props himself up on a pillow.

“Thanks.” His voice is rough and he rubs a hand over his face.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little raw.” He takes a sip of water. “You stayed.”

I flush. Maybe he doesn’t remember asking me. “Sorry, I—”

“Thank you. I like having you here in the morning.”

Oh, my heart! “You want to get some breakfast?”

He grimaces. “How about I make you breakfast?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah. I do. After last night, I owe you at least a hundred breakfasts.”

OK, yeah. Now I’m wondering what it would be like to spend a hundred nights and mornings with this gorgeous guy. “Well, if you insist.”

“Let me shower first and I’ll get right on that.” He drains the rest of the water, flings back the covers to reveal the rest of his body, and stands while my brain is still rearranging itself. Every time.

Every single time.

I’m about to join him in the bathroom when my phone buzzes on the nightstand and I pick it up.

As soon as I do, I regret it.

Jen: Hey, just checking on you cause you’ve gone radio silent. I hope you’re OK.

When I check, I see that her last message from a week ago went unanswered. I guess I opened it and got distracted and never replied. A little twisty jab of guilt hits me, and I nearly dismiss this message, only I can’t do that.

Gritting my teeth, I compose an answer.

Olivia: Hey. I’m sorry. Time difference and all that. I’m OK. How are things with you?

It’s a crap excuse and I know she sees right through it when her reply comes in the next moment.

Jen: You sure? When are you coming home?

I pause. I still haven’t really decided. I keep putting it off and there’s one great big reason why which has nothing to do with the way I feel about what happened between me and Justin.

“You coming?” Noah calls from the shower. The water is already running, steam gently wafting from the ensuite.

“Yeah.”

I set down the phone and Jen’s message, resolving to look at some flights today and pick one. I can’t hide forever, and my airline credit won’t last forever either. Maybe Jen’s message is the reality check I need.

It’s the reality check I don’t want, though, because as soon as I get into the bathroom, I spot Noah lathering his hands with soap and rubbing them down his green skin.

He strokes a soapy hand over his cock, and as he does it lengthens and thickens and he grins at me. “I thought you were gonna be forever.”

I snatch a towel from the closet in the hall and rush back, joining him in the shower and letting him wash away all thoughts of home and flights and responsibilities I don’t want to face.

I haven’t even posted anything on my page this week. I have a half-written book to finish and submit to my editor, and when I get home I’ll have to start house hunting and move all my stuff out of the place I shared with Justin.

I forget about all that as Noah’s soapy hands work over my body, kneading my shoulders and neck, drawing away tension. He lathers them and slides them over my belly and breasts, over my hips and butt. Teasing but never demanding, making me wish he would.

We spend the whole morning together until it’s time for him to leave for work.

When he drops me at my bed and breakfast on the way, he calls me back for a long, lingering kiss that leaves me weak in the knees and seriously questioning if this is really just a casual thing anymore. Now we’re kissing? And staying over?

I’m so confused.

I’m also afraid to ask him about it in case he changes his mind or gets defensive.

I’ve seen Noah defensive, and I don’t think I’m ready to be on the other end of that firing line.

I’m sad about the way things went between Noah and his brother last night.

His brother didn’t seem to be a bad guy.

He was just looking out for Noah after all.

I kinda wish I had an older brother to look out for me, but I’m an only child.

Unable to sit still in the bed and breakfast, I head out for a walk as afternoon drifts toward evening.

The blue of the sky is fading to a pinky orange, and the water is flat and still.

The views out beyond the golf club are beautiful.

The rough, rocky cliffs give way to the deep blue ocean that stretches on as far as the eye can see.

I’m breathing a little harder as the hill slopes upward.

When I look up, I spot a woman standing and looking out over the ocean.

She moves to the side, and I get a glimpse of a canvas on an easel before she straightens, lifting her brush to swipe a dark stripe of blue across the horizon.

I can’t help slowing my steps to watch as she paints.

The image of the ocean comes to life one stroke at a time as if by magic.

As I come close, I swipe my hand across my forehead to brush away the stray curls which have snuck out from my ponytail. “Wow. You’re really good.”

The woman turns in surprise. Her shoulder length, wavy brown hair is tipped with lighter ends, as if she’s been kissed by the sun, and her smile is just as warm. “Oh, thank you! I didn’t see you there.”

“Sorry for sneaking up on you. I was just walking by and had to stop and say something.”

She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, looking away for a moment. “No, it’s just… Compliments always make me embarrassed. Are you staying in town? You look familiar.”

I avoid telling her where she may have seen me before. “Yeah. I’ve been staying a few weeks. It’s so beautiful here.”

The woman nods. “The most beautiful place in the world. But don’t tell anyone or they’ll all move here like I did. I’m Mia.” She holds out her hand, looks down, and seems to realize it’s covered in smudges of paint and we both have a laugh.

I shake it anyway. “Nice to meet you, Mia. I’m Olivia. How long since you moved here?”

“About a year now. I love it. How about you? How long are you staying?”

I shrug. “I don’t know exactly. I haven’t decided. I can’t seem to make myself book my flight home.”

Mia laughs softly. “I can understand that. Are you traveling alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

I can’t help the silly smile that creeps over my face. “Well, it might except I’ve sort of met someone here.”

“Ah. Well now I understand. So did I. I won’t ask who, since you know what they say about small towns. I never realized how true that was until I moved here and everyone knows everyone’s business, but you know, if you want reasons to stay, I could write you a long list.”

I laugh. “Oh I think that’s far too dangerous. I’ve got a pretty long one myself.”

I wave goodbye to Mia, and she turns back to her painting. I’m still thinking about what she said as I make my way along the cliff path.

I could write a pretty long list of reasons to stay. My job is mobile. I’d have to travel no matter where I lived, but I could have a home base here. I already know I love the town. But could I really live in a place so small? It’s a long way from anywhere.

I mentally scold myself.

There’s no point thinking about staying when the biggest reason to keep me here wouldn’t want that in the first place. Would he?

It’s too much to hope that his attitude has changed. It would be unfair on him.

Noah told me from the beginning that this was only ever temporary. I knew that. It’s unreasonable to wish that this could be something more.

Only when I see him smile at me, when I see him soften, when I feel the tenderness in his kiss, his touch, I have this stupid dream that maybe I could be the one to heal his hurt.

And that’s the most dangerous wish of all.