Page 12 of Starting Over
Jude sat there looking at him… just looking. He wasn’t saying anything at all and then he dropped his head down, muttering, “Well, shit. I’m a fucking ass.”
Rain’s eyes widened at those words, saying, “No, you’re not. You’re a man hurting, and the people he normally can turn to made that impossible. I don’t know if Casper and Smoky want kids or not. Maybe they don’t. I say take the time you need to think about that possibility and how you move forward from there if that’s the way it turns out. Or you call them now, tell them where you are, and deal with the issue at hand.”
Sighing, Jude said, “I don’t think I’m ready to call them yet.”
“Then don’t. Who knows, maybe doing this is forcing them to look at how they treated you, but again, I’m not an expert and I have no clue who your mate and mate bond are, or how they do things,” Rain said.
“Bren said that he and Smoky were regretting their life choices since I left,” Jude quietly said. “I hate knowing they’re hurting because of me, and I know that’s stupid, but damn it, they did that to me and didn’t seem to care.”
Rain looked at Jude, asking, “Will you tell me about them?”
For the next hour Jude talked about Casper and Smoky, he told Rain all about the crazy shit his maharishi was forced to deal with when it came to the other dragons and even some of the mates, but somehow, Rain thought the biggest challenge for both Casper and Smoky was Jude.
All the while he talked, Jude ate, and soon enough they were laughing and then out of nowhere, Jude began to cry.
Rain was out of his seat and holding the man close. He spoke nonsense words to Jude, and just allowed him to let out what seemed to be a great deal of pain.
CHAPTER 5
Jude stood outside looking to the river and listening to nature all around him. He and Rain still hadn’t figured out what they were going to do with the situation Rain was in, but at least he was able to convince Rain to stay with him until they could come up with a plan.
It had been almost three weeks since Jude had left Drago and a week now since Jude had been at the lakeside cabin. As wonderful as it was, the pain of being away from his mates was a physical pain by now. However, it was a pain he knew he had to endure.
No matter how many times he tried to think of his future and as much as he loved his mate and his maharishi, he also knew he wanted kids. There was no getting around it and no answer he could find on his own.
He’d also given what Rain said a lot of thought. Fuck if the man wasn’t wrong. His mates had asked for time and had been doing their thinking their way, and Jude had thrown a hissy fit. He’d acted like a spoiled brat. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to make the phone call that could change things.
But would anything change?
Jude didn’t know. He was at a complete loss and needed answers… but not just for himself.
Poor Rain was walking around jumping at any and all sounds he heard… the poor guy was terrified. Dream hadn’t even been able to find Danny or his buddies yet, and although he was still looking, Jude knew he could call in reinforcements.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Jude did something he should have done the day he’d met Rain.
“Yellow… damn it, Pepper, get off that. I need to finish this report or Pit is going to have my ass.”
“Hey, Wiz,” Jude said with a small laugh.
A small gasp was heard, as Wiz whispered, “Jude?” His voice rising, “Jude? Seriously, dude, is this you?”
“Please, stop yelling. I need your help,” Jude quickly said.
“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you calling Casper? For fuck’s sake, Jude, the poor guy is seriously in bad shape… him and Smoky. Hell, I don’t even know the last time Smoky has left Casper’s arm. Your mates need…”
“Stop!” Jude snapped, “I can’t hear this right now. I need your help. Not Casper’s or any of the other guys.”
“Jude!” Wiz admonished.
Jude huffed, “Fuck, I knew I should have called Kendell. He would have just helped and not lectured.”
Wiz gasped, “Kendell? What the fuck kind of insult is that? You’d call New Mexico over me? Yeah, okay he’s good… well, he’s really good, but he isn’t even close to what I can do.”
“You and I both know you’re full of shit. Kendell is great, and like I said he wouldn’t lecture me,” Jude argued.
“Fine,” Wiz huffed out once more. “What do you need?”
Jude told him what he knew, and when he got finished, Wiz said, “How in the fuck do you get into shit all the time, Jude? You know if you’d just come home none of this…”