Page 13 of Starlight and the Duke (Cherish and the Duke #5)

“Am I?” He caressed her as they lay beside each other, hot and breathing heavily after a particularly splendid coupling.

“And why are you now frowning?”

“I did not realize I was. Am I not permitted to revel a little in the aftermath?”

She leaned over and kissed him on the shoulder.

“You are not reveling so much as thinking too hard about what we are doing. Don’t, Rob.

Especially do not get your hopes up, or this will be too painful for the both of us.

Aren’t you the one who always tells me to stop pondering the where, why, and how of everything? Some things are just not meant to be.”

He let out a heavy breath. “Promise me you will only ever marry for love. I could endure it if I knew you were happy and had made a love match.”

“You are the only one I love, Rob,” she whispered, and let out a ragged breath.

“I wish it were not so, for then you might be able to let go of me and move on. But our hearts are impossibly entangled, aren’t they?

Perhaps we were born to be bound to each other, destined in the stars, and this is the tragedy of it. ”

“It doesn’t have to be tragic.”

“We shall have this week together and you cannot ask me for more. You need to sire sons to continue the Durham line. And I… Who knows what the future will hold for me? But I know what has you worried. You think I am going to encourage Milbury to court me.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Have you been thinking about it?”

“No, but you have.”

He pursed his lips. “Maybe. A little.”

“A lot, if I know you.” She kissed his shoulder again. “I would never consider marrying him.”

This surprised Rob. “Why not? He seems a decent fellow.”

“Are you taking his side now?”

“Hell, no. Just speculating.”

“He would have to be a fool to offer for me, especially since he must know there is something going on between us. What man wishes to embark upon a marriage thinking he will be made a cuckold?”

“Would you do this? I cannot believe you ever would. You are too honorable ever to betray him once you are married. Besides, men can lie to themselves about such things, especially when the woman they admire looks like an angel, which you do. You are a widow, so he has to know he would not be buying unsampled goods.”

She pinched his shoulder. “And you think he won’t care that you are sampling me while he undertakes his courtship? Betrayal does not extend only to marriage. How can you think such a thing of me ? When have I ever behaved in that wanton fashion?” She turned away in a huff.

He wrapped an arm around her and drew her up against his chest. “Truce? I don’t want to fall asleep with you angry with me.”

She let out a heavy breath. “I am not angry with you. I won’t deny I considered Milbury as a possibility, but only as a last resort. I would consider marrying him if you stubbornly continued to remain a bachelor because of me.”

He tensed.

This was his exact fear, was it not?

“You were so good with those boys today, Rob. So wise and patient, but also with just the right amount of stern authority. You would make a wonderful father. I wish this for you with all my heart.”

“Then give us a chance to try for it.”

“I’ve had eighteen years of chances,” she said with exquisite pain.

“But not with me.” Did they not deserve more than a week to see this through? Should he not have another year or two? Or five?

She said nothing in response, just cried herself to sleep, tearing at his heart.

He fell into a fitful sleep and awoke before dawn to sneak back into his bedchamber before the staff began to stir.

Carrying his boots in hand, he walked stealthily down the hall, his bare feet making not a sound upon the wood floor.

This one week of wanton bliss was not working out quite as he had hoped.

Only a couple of days had passed since his arrival and both of them were more on edge than ever.

The toll was exacting and exhausting, both of them soaring and jubilant one moment, and then sinking into an abyss of despair in the next.

Their feelings were too raw and volatile. Their hearts were a gaping wound.

He considered ending this week early, but the thought of missing out on even a moment with Fiona made his stomach churn.

It was not about the bedroom. It was about her.

He was seated on his bed, lost in contemplation, when he heard a light shuffle at his open door.

“Rob?”

Fiona stood in the doorway, looking fragile and beautiful as the first rays of sunlight filtered into his room.

His heart swelled just from looking at her. “I did not mean to disturb you when I left.”

“You didn’t.” She smiled. “I felt cold without you beside me.”

“I’m sorry I behaved like a jealous arse last night.”

She shook her head and walked into his room.

“You were fine,” she said, and took a seat beside him on his unslept bed, one he needed to mess up before the maids walked in to clean his bedchamber.

“I was the one who goaded you. I did not mean to do it, but is it not obvious that you deserve to be a father?”

“And you? What do you deserve?”

“A week of happiness with you.”

“That’s it?”

“And hopefully a lasting friendship. Could you at least smile at me? I had no idea you were such a grumbling bear in the morning.”

He gave a short, quick laugh. “I will after I have my coffee. Right now, I want to grumble and rage at the heavens for putting us in this untenable situation.”

“And all will be better after you have had your coffee?” She cast him a delicate smile. “That is so you , Rob. But you are mostly just wonderful, even when you lumber around like an irritated bear.”

“Do not flatter me and make me smile when I am about to work myself into a manly sulk. Besides, I am a panther and not a bear. Is this not what you always say to me? Stop looking at me with your panther eyes. ” He grinned at her.

“And you need to stop tossing me that beautiful smile. It is giving you an unfair advantage.”

“Then I’ll leave you to your moping and pouting for now, but you must promise me that you won’t leave here before the week is up.”

“I won’t leave.” He raked a hand through his hair. “You have my word on it.”

Blessed saints. If it were up to him, he would never leave her.

“And promise you won’t bite off Milbury’s head if he smiles at me.”

“All right, but no guarantees if he sets a hand on you.”

She sighed. “I am not going to encourage him, so kindly do not kill him.”

“This is what you told me last night,” he said. “Do you really mean it?”

She nodded. “So long as you keep to your part of the bargain.”

“That infernal bargain,” he muttered, stretching out on the bed beside where she was seated. “What sort of ladies did you and Cherish pick out for me?”

“Smart, witty. Beautiful. But you will see for yourself in a matter of days.”

“They won’t be you.”

“Stop, Rob. You cannot continue with this attitude.”

He placed his hands behind his head as he regarded her. “Perhaps my attitude will improve after I leave here and we are no longer sleeping together.”

“I hope so,” she said without much enthusiasm. “Can you refer to it as something a little nicer than sleeping together ?”

“That was my nice way of describing what we are doing. I could have said rutting like rabbits…or described it in far cruder language.”

She smacked him on the shoulder. “No, we are exchanging hearts and creating treasured memories.”

“We are breaking our hearts, for every day together reveals just how perfect we are for each other, and yet you want to doom us to remain apart. I want you to know one thing, Fiona…”

“Only one? What is it?”

“Your marrying another man will never compel me to look elsewhere for a bride. As far as I am concerned, I have found the woman I want. I am looking at her right now. All you would be doing is binding yourself to some clot you do not love.”

“I don’t believe you. You would have no choice but to move on if ever I married.” She tipped her chin in the air and walked out.

He closed his eyes and shuddered.

Lord, he needed a miracle. How many nights of coupling would it take to bring this about?

They spent the morning taking a long ride through the countryside, both of them needing to work out their unsettled feelings and frustrations. In the afternoon, they took a long walk along the beach.

As the sun began its slow descent on the horizon, Rob knew it was time to return to the house and prepare themselves for dining at Lord Milbury’s home.

Fiona mentioned the stately manor had previously been called Wembly Walk by the old owner, Lord Wembly. Milbury had renamed it Milbury Hill upon acquiring the property.

Well, things changed. Didn’t they? Time moved on.

However, Rob knew his feelings for Fiona never would.

Was this not the crux of the problem? He truly believed they were destined in the stars. She even described her shattering pleasure as starlight .

It all had significance.

How much easier it would be for both of them if their hearts were able to move on, but how could they ever move on when doing so would cause a profound celestial break?

He turned to look at Fiona as she glided down the stairs in a gown of silvery green that had a matching wrap she’d draped casually over her arm.

She looked stunning, as always. Not in an ice princess way, either. Her smile exuded warmth and her eyes sparkled. She had dimples, too. Deep ones that had always fascinated him. Her hair was lush and silken to the touch, styled in an elegant chignon that exposed her slender neck.

He’d been careful not to leave a mark on her tender skin as he’d nibbled it last night.

Quite stupid of him. He ought to have given the spot below her earlobe a light bite, behaved like a baboon and left a small irritation on the soft flesh where every other man could see it and know she had been marked by him.

She is mine. Keep your distance.

“Ready?” he asked, meeting her at the foot of the steps to escort her to his ducal carriage.