Page 37

Noe eased back into his bed after a quick trip to the corner store. Ahh, bliss. While his ribs were doing better, he kept trying to use his arm, which wasn’t a great idea. He remembered that, too—after he tried to use it.

Habits. Habits were a dangerous thing.

Anyway, he’d taken his pain meds before sitting, so he was just waiting for them to kick in. Honestly, he wasn’t sure which he was more upset about—the ribs or the arm. No, take that back, the ribs. Once his ribs healed, he could at least have sex. Right now, Luca treated him like he was spun sugar, too delicate to be handled. Which, granted, Luca had a point there.

But Noe missed sex. Dammit. Fucking ribs.

Why did humans need ribs, anyway? Something about squishy organs and protection or whatever, but couldn’t he just do without the ribs?

Another month, he promised. He could be patient. Or somehow get creative.

Oooh, creative had appeal. After all, he wouldn’t need to worry about weight or pressure if Luca gave him oral, right? Maybe they could take turns and at least deal with some of this building sexual tension?

It was really, truly hard to sleep platonically next to Luca every night and not touch, okay? His lover was gorgeous, and Noe was only so strong.

Right, he could do this. He knew far more about gay sex than Luca did. Time to broaden the man’s scope of experience.

The door slid open. Noe immediately paused his greeting (and naughty suggestion) the second he got a good look at Luca’s face. He appeared shaken. He was two shades paler than normal, a little hunched in on himself, eyes overly bright.

“What the fuck happened?” Noe blurted out. Something obviously had, in the few hours since they’d seen each other last.

Luca shut the door, shed his coat, and came directly to him. He didn’t say a word until he was snuggled in against Noe’s side, his head pillowed on Noe’s good shoulder. Like he needed comfort first and foremost. Noe immediately reciprocated, stroking through Luca’s thick hair with his good hand.

Shit, seriously, what the hell?

“I want you,” Luca murmured against his shoulder.

“I want you too, dearest, but you’re seriously scaring me. What happened?”

“I…I just talked with Brahms and Sakura.”

That shouldn’t be alarming. Should it? Was someone injured, dying, what?!

Luca breathed out, the air shaky as it left his mouth. “Let me back up. I’m saying this all out of order. Last night, when you wrote the letter cutting your family off, I was hit with the realization that my own family might do the same to me. Our relationship is different now. It’s not a friendship I’m asking them to accept, but a fully romantic and sexual one.”

Ah. Fuuuuuck.

“I’ve never, not once, won an argument with my parents when they’ve dug their heels in. I know for a fact they will not accept us, not like we are now. I also know that despite not having a backup heir to the fortress, they’ll throw me out if I insist on marrying you. The realization hit that I will probably be disinherited because I’ve chosen you.”

For a moment, panic threatened to overwhelm Noe. Then he remembered what Luca had said at the beginning of this conversation. He’d made it clear he wanted Noe. Okay, ride this out, let the man talk. He clearly wasn’t done.

“I didn’t know what to do when I realized this. I went to Brahms, because out of everyone, he can best understand the pressure I’m under. I talked out with him how I didn’t know how to reconcile duty and my feelings, my need, for you.

“But then Sakura said something. Two things, really. She said that if love is earned, it isn’t love at all, but obedience.”

The truth of that hit so hard it stunned Noe breathless. The weight of those words sifted through his mind, upending everything he thought he knew. Every interaction he’d had with his family over the past ten years especially gained a whole new perspective, and it was his turn to feel like the rug had been yanked out from underneath him.

“I…Wow, that hit the nail on the head.”

Luca nodded. “It was so obvious when she said it, I felt stupid for not realizing it before. But she’d know. Of course she would—she went from an orphan to the daughter of two amazing men. She’d felt the difference. I was so jealous of her for a second, of having two fathers who had taught her what true love was, that I asked Brahms to adopt me. He just laughed and said in the next life.”

“Somehow, I can picture him saying that.”

“Then she said something else. Well, they both said my first duty is to myself. If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of anyone else.” He let out another of those shaky sighs, his head burrowing in a little more against Noe’s shoulder, like he was trying to soak in more comfort. “And I realized I hadn’t been taking care of myself. I’d put everyone else above me. I’d put the duty of the fortress before me. I’d put disappointing my people before me. I’d put my parents’ expectations before me. That was all wrong. I should have been taking care of me and then considering what other people needed from me. As simple as this sounds, it’s proving hard to put it into practice. I’d been debating on what to do if my parents wouldn’t accept you.”

Noe had been fearing this. He’d held it inside, afraid to rock the boat, afraid of the fallout. It was almost a relief to hear those words said aloud, because at least he’d have an answer, one way or another.

“But my duty, my foremost duty, is to my own heart. I want you, Noe. You are the one thing I will never sacrifice.”

Tears spilled over at that point, mostly in relief, because Noe honestly hadn’t been sure if he’d had enough of a foothold in Luca’s heart to survive any competition. But he did. His worst fear wouldn’t be realized. Noe planted a kiss against Luca’s forehead.

“I love you.”

“I know.” Luca finally lifted his head, a tender smile on his face. “I love you, too.”

“Oh,” Noe breathed, delight spreading through him. He didn’t ask if Luca was sure—he clearly was, because he said the words with firm conviction.

“I told Sho before that wishing for love, true romantic love, was nothing more than wishing for the stars. The stars heard me, because here you are, despite me giving up all hope of ever finding you.”

“I guess I wished hard enough for both of us.”

“Is that what happened?” A soft smile blossomed over his face, the love in his eyes poignant. “I should have guessed. You do bring miracles to me more often than not. I love you, apparently, to the point of being willing to abandon every duty I was born into. I’m still a little shaken by the realization.”

Which explained Luca’s expression when he’d come in. Hell, Noe was shaken, as Luca’s duties to his kin were the whole point of them dating to begin with. To think that his love for Noe had surpassed his ironclad duty stunned Noe.

“It’s all right,” Noe soothed him. “It’s all right to sit with this, to process it. This is a lot all at once, dearest.”

“Trust me, I’m feeling it, but I want to do something. I know you’re not up for sex, but—”

“No, please, please let’s do something. I’ve spent half the day feeling horny as it is, and then you come in and declare you love me? There’s no way I can behave myself. We’ll try different positions or something until we find one that works.”

Luca brightened right up. “Then let me find the oil first.”

Noe would have helped, but he had no idea where Luca had even put it. It had gotten shoved somewhere after his injury, and Noe hadn’t exactly been paying attention to anything other than being stretched out on pillows at that point. Instead, he watched his fiancé go from drawer to drawer, and the more the man bent over, the more his pants framed his ass. He had such a nice ass. Ooh, maybe he could talk Luca into trying rimming. He had willingly done it to Noe—a brief shiver went through him at the memory of those strong hands prying his cheeks apart while a mobile tongue fucked him—but he’d been strangely shy about Noe returning the favor. Noe wanted him to see for himself how it felt, though.

The search started getting messier, Luca flipping stacks of clothes and papers aside, now setting things on top of the chests.

“Dammit, where the hell— Noe, where did you put it?”

“I didn’t touch it,” Noe said. He loosened his belt, then the buttons on his shirt. Might as well start getting somewhat naked because he had a damn fine man to seduce.

“Then where the hell did I put it?”

“I have no idea. But, love?”

Luca shifted to the largest chest near the corner. “What?”

“I think we can do something else.”

Luca turned to speak and then his eyes took in Noe’s position and his words magically dried up.

Noe parted his pants enough to slip a hand in, stroking himself idly, brow cocked in question.

Luca visibly swallowed, eyes fixed on Noe’s hand. “Are you sure you’re up for sex?”

“Not anal, my ribs can’t take it, but there’s other things we can do.”

“Oral?” Luca was the epitome of hopeful. A dog spying a new bone, this one.

“That is certainly one option.” Noe gave a come-hither jerk of his chin. “Why don’t you come over here and I can show them to you. One at a time.”

Luca seemed to think this a grand plan, shedding his shirt even as he came closer to the bed. “I love a man with a plan.”

“I do try. Will you let me rim you today?”

Luca paused for just a beat as he undid his trousers. “I…You know what, fuck it. I’ll let you try. We can take turns, even.”

Noe’s smile went lecherous. He would enjoy very much being rimmed and finger fucked later, but right now? Right now, he was about to push buttons Luca didn’t even know he had.

Oh, this would be deliciously fun.