Page 2

Noe woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and the ringing certainty he’d done something he really, truly shouldn’t have. Which made no sense. He wasn’t the type of drunk to stir up trouble.

He didn’t think?

Granted, he’d been stupid last night and hadn’t eaten at all while drinking other than nibbling on rice crackers. Why had he done that…? Normally his tolerance was much better, but without any food in his stomach, it had of course been at the bottom of the barrel.

Rolling off the futon, he fumbled for a hangover tonic stashed in the bottom drawer of his chest, which he promptly uncapped and downed in one long pull. Ugh, the thing tasted nasty but worked wonders—it usually got him up to functional level in about an hour. Considering how much he’d drunk last night, it would be something of a miracle.

Tossing the bottle into the waste can, he pulled out clean clothes and headed for the ryokan’s bathing room. His mouth felt like some animal had crawled in and died, and he stank of alcohol, so a bath was very much a necessity.

Being somewhat accustomed to the practices of this country, Noe sat on the stool to shower off instead of just sinking straight into the onsen. Somewhat gingerly, he soaped up and washed his hair, rinsed off, then went to sit in the pool. Honestly, his head wanted to fall off, so even touching it wasn’t pleasant. Ugh, if he drank again, he wasn’t human. He needed ten minutes—enough to soak some of the alcohol out of his skin and give the tonic time to make him resemble a human being. It wasn’t too much to ask.

He sank in with his head pillowed on a towel, tipped back on the edge of the pool, just relaxing. The hot water felt like bliss. Couldn’t he work from here today? Instead of tramping out in the winter wind?

Also, that sense of something being wrong came on stronger. Noe wondered why his brain insisted he’d done something naughty last night. It seemed so strange. All he’d done was sit and chat with the guys, plus General O’ Broín—

Like a ship thrown off course, it hit him, and he lurched upright, sloshing water in every direction.

Oh. Shit.

“I kissed him,” he breathed, the words feeling wholly alien coming out of his mouth. “Goddess above, I kissed him. What the hell was I thinking?”

Granted, from his memory, it had been a good kiss. That could be the alcohol and wishful thinking, though. General O’ Broín hadn’t seemed to take offense? He’d only looked surprised.

So, in other words, Noe might live to see tonight. Maybe.

Unable to sit and soak, he scrambled out of the water, dried himself off in a rush, and threw on clothes. There was no thought process, just panic driving him forward, and he was out the door and running down two hallways before he even fully realized where he was going. He quickly slid open the screen door upon arrival.

“Giric!”

His best friend was fortunately awake, sitting at his table and eating breakfast. He took one look at Noe and his left eye got twitchy. “You. What stupid thing did you do?”

“How do you know I did a stupid thing?”

“Your eyes are open before breakfast, to start with. Only panic wakes you up this fast. Sit, eat, and tell me what you did.”

A bear of a man in size, Giric’s high tenor voice didn’t match his appearance. He was mostly known for two things: One, being able to sing the full ballad of Bárid Hakon (all one hundred and twenty-six verses) without running out of breath, and two, for being the best mathematician of the bunch. He double-checked everyone’s calculations before anything was acted on and often saved them money and trouble in the process.

He’d also been in school with Noe, and they knew each other very well, having been fast friends since then. So Noe unloaded on him without a flicker of hesitation.

“I, uh, maybe kissed someone while drunk last night?”

Giric paused in sipping his tea and accused, “Did you not eat anything even after I told you to eat something?”

“In my defense, I got distracted.”

“Why am I friends with lunkheads?”

“That implies you have standards. Do you have standards?”

“They’re tripping hazards in hell, but yes!” Giric rolled his eyes and slid a bowl of rice and the green tea over to Noe. “Get some of this in your system. All right, how bad? Who did you kiss?”

“General O’ Broín.”

Giric just looked at him, an appalled but impressed sort of look, as if he found Noe’s stupidity amazing, which was hurtful. Earned, but hurtful. Noe distinctly remembered clinging to General O’ Broín and inviting him for a sexy sleepover, and the embarrassment was just added insult to injury right now.

“He took it well? At least, he didn’t punch me.”

“I’m actually speechless right now.”

Noe ate a spoonful of rice, but it seemed to get stuck in his throat. “I want to throw myself into the harbor. Can I?”

“No, but I like the effort.”

“Dammit, Giric, what do I do ?”

“My flabbers are gasted. I have to ask something before I can answer. You told me you had a crush on him. Did you kiss him last night because you decided to make a move?”

“Drunk me did.”

“Do you think it helped or hurt?”

“I, uh, may have fucked myself over.” Noe tried not to let pessimism drag him down even as he second-guessed himself. Noe was a pro at second-guessing himself. He could win competitions at it and everything. “The thing is, you know how Warden Brahms introduced the two of us at the very beginning?”

“What about it?”

“General O’ Broín has seen me as something of a safe space since then. I don’t think he sees me as a possibility for a spouse.”

“Damn shame,” Giric remarked in a rhetorical fashion to the air, “because with your crush, he’d have you locked down within a week.”

Noe resisted the urge to kick Giric’s shin under the table.

“All I’m saying is, Drunk You may have done something a little too much, a little too fast. General O’ Broín’s already nervous and uncertain about his endeavor. Planting a kiss on him like that without warning might have been too much.”

Noe slumped in his chair, mostly due to embarrassment. Grumbling, he didn’t look up from the table as he ruefully admitted, “When you say it like that, I feel stupid.”

“You look stupid, too.”

“Asshole. Look, it wasn’t on purpose.”

“Drunk You hijacked your common sense. I know, it’s happened before.”

Noe felt like crying out of frustration. “I don’t know what to do now. How do I approach him again without coming off as stupidly infatuated and desperate?”

“But you are stupidly infatuated and desperate,” Giric pointed out calmly, then stole his cup back so he could take a sip of tea.

Noe made a face. “I know I am, but it can be very off-putting to men. I’m trying to rein it in.”

Giric sipped his tea again, a thoughtful frown pulling his brows together. “Knowing you, you made it obvious last night how much you like him.”

Er. He may have? Rather hard not to when you kiss someone after hanging off their arm for several minutes.

“Here’s my thoughts, for what they’re worth. I think the ball is very much in General O’ Broín’s court. You’ve shown him you like him and you’re compatible with him and all that. It’s up to him if he wants to pursue something with you. If he does come back to talk to you, you can gauge the situation then. Either offer to be his experiment so he can try fucking a man, then segue into a relationship from there, or straight up be honest with him that you like him and see if he’s willing to date.”

“Are those my only two options?”

“Pretty much.”

“Dammit. I guess I’ll see depending on how he responds.”

“While you’re waiting, go finish your soak. You do not want to be seen like this if he comes looking for you this morning.”

Noe made a wry face down at himself. “Good point. I’ll see you later, then.”

“Don’t randomly kiss other men in the meantime!” Giric called at his back.

Noe made a rude gesture over his shoulder that got Giric laughing.

Noe did finish soaking in the onsen, changed clothes, and even had something bland for breakfast so his churning stomach would calm down. After that, he felt far more human and, while not willing to face the day, at least able to.

By the time he left the ryokan, he felt far more at ease. Well, no longer ready to come out of his skin, at least.

All right, it was still rather early to start the workday. Perhaps he’d go on in and see if he could spot General O’ Broín. Noe took himself straight to the offices, then found his feet dragging once inside. His stomach still churned at the idea of facing last night’s actions. Buck up, him. Maybe he should plan out what to say first. He was already in the office, but standing here without a firm plan of what to say seemed unwise. Granted, he owed the general an apology, and having it hanging over his head wouldn’t be pleasant, but maybe he’d retreat for now—

The main door of the offices slid open before Noe could put a hand to it. Startled, he jerked his hand back and looked up automatically.

Only to find Luca O’ Broín staring back at him.

Oh.

Shit.

Yes, Noe had intended to track the man down and apologize, but not right this second . He hadn’t even planned out what to say yet!

The general looked as handsome as ever, his collar-length blue-black hair in a wave away from his face, tan skin contrasting with the black coat he wore. He looked as if he’d been about to step out on business, but now he paused, eyes fixed on Noe.

“Good morning?” General O’ Broín offered.

“I’m so sorry,” Noe blurted out. “Being drunk off my ass is not an excuse. I, um…”

Those gorgeous light grey eyes crinkled up in amusement, and goddess, this man was beautiful when he smiled. Noe wanted to kiss him all over again. He pushed up his glasses instead and felt immensely awkward.

“I’m not mad,” General O’ Broín assured him.

“Oh thank fuck. Um. Sorry, regardless, and I’ll let you go. I’ll, uh, see you around.”

At that point Noe’s nerves couldn’t take any more and he skittered sideways, bolting for freedom. He didn’t pause until he reached the road, and only then stopped because he didn’t have an actual destination in mind. He stood there, taking calming slow breaths.

That…had not been his best work.

Seriously, just once, just once Noe wanted to be the suave, collected type. Not a bundle of feelings attached to a mouth.

At least he’d gotten his apology out? Having been in similar situations before (although thankfully not for the same reason), he’d choked on his own breath in the past and not managed the apology. And General O’ Broín had clearly been amused and not upset, which was amazing. Noe would take the win.

But, how to move past this and become friends? Noe truly wanted to follow the advice given to him, but he had no idea how to even begin.

Waiting a few days so the awkwardness passed and he could properly look the general in the eye was a good start. Yeah.

“Me,” Noe muttered to himself, pushing into motion, “you’ve got to toughen up. Luca O’ Broín’s not going to become less sexy anytime soon, so it’s on you. Learn how to form words around the man, will you?”

As far as pep talks went, that one didn’t hit home.

Dammit.