Page 16 of Stalked By the Alphas

15

HAZEL

My stomach muscles hurt a bit from the throwing-up incident last night, but my mind feels fresher. I don’t know if that’s psychological or if it’s genuine. The fact of the matter is, I don’t care. I actually feel like I can go about my day without jumping at shadows.

I stretch cautiously as I get off the sofa, having spent the night here, but not to my detriment.

As I go through my morning routine, I try to approach the day with a sense of renewed determination. No more paranoid thoughts. No more seeing threats in every shadow. I’m going to focus on reality and get my life back on track.

I dress in comfortable jeans and a tee and reach for my favourite purple cardigan. I pull it from the hanger with a smile and then frown at it.

“Dammit,” I mutter as I see a hole in the sleeve. “When did that happen?”

For a moment, I feel the crushing fog descend on me again, but I push it back. It’s just a hole and not even a big one. It could have happened anywhere. I put it back on the hanger with a reminder to try to sew it up later. It is probably ruined, but I have to try. So, I grab a white one instead and head downstairs to make some tea. The kitchen feels peaceful in the early morning light. I take a moment to breathe deeply, centring myself.

Once my tea is ready, I curl up on the window seat in the lounge, watching the village come to life outside. People walking dogs, opening shops, going about their normal routines. It all seems so wonderfully ordinary.

I finish my tea and gather my things, ready to head to the shop. As I reach for the door handle, I pause. For a moment, anxiety threatens to creep back in. The outside world screams danger, but then I breathe and push it aside. I check in my bag for the bag stash of tablets, knowing the others are still in the cabinet in the bathroom. I debate whether I should take them both to the naturopath, but decide I can always bin them later if they tell me they are giving me these hallucinations.

I take another deep breath, steeling myself. I won’t let this fear control me anymore. Whatever happens, I’ll face it rationally and calmly.

Glaring at the bear, I pick it up and place it on the sofa before I step out into the crisp morning air. The short walk is pleasant, the familiar sights and sounds of the village comforting.

I pass the bookshop and stop at the naturopath’s office. Pushing open the door, I step inside. The waiting room is empty and quiet, with soothing nature sounds playing softly from hidden speakers.

“Hello?” I call out hesitantly.

Dr Winters emerges from the back room, her face lighting up with a warm smile when she sees me. “Good morning, Hazel. I wasn’t expecting you today. Is everything alright?”

I fidget with the strap of my bag. “I was hoping I could talk to you about the herbal tablets you prescribed me. Do you have a few minutes?”

“Of course, dear. Come on back.” She ushers me into her consultation room, gesturing for me to take a seat in one of the plush armchairs. “How can I help?”

I take a deep breath, trying to organise my thoughts. “I’ve been experiencing some unusual side effects. Hallucinations, paranoia, anxiety spikes. I’m worried the tablets might be causing it.”

Dr Winters frowns, leaning forward with concern. “That’s very unusual. The blend I gave you shouldn’t cause anything like that. Can you tell me more about what you’ve been experiencing?”

I hesitate, not wanting to sound completely unhinged. “I’ve been seeing things that aren’t there. Imagining threats. I even thought I saw a photo of myself that turned out not to exist.” I laugh nervously. “I sound crazy, don’t I?”

“Not at all. These are serious symptoms, and I’m glad you came to me. Have you been under any unusual stress lately? Any big changes or worries?”

I think about it for a moment. “Not really. Just the usual stress of running the shop. And...” I trail off, not sure how to explain the vague sense of unease I’ve been feeling.

“And?” Dr Winters prompts gently.

I sigh. “I don’t know. I just feel like something’s off. Like I’m being watched or followed. But I know that’s just paranoia talking.”

Dr Winters nods thoughtfully. “I see. And when did these symptoms start? Was it immediately after you began taking the tablets?”

“No,” I admit. “It was gradual. At first, I thought they were really helping with my anxiety. But then things started getting weird.”

She leans back in her chair, a slight frown creasing her brow. “Hazel, I want you to know that the herbal blend I gave you shouldn’t cause any of these symptoms. It’s a very mild, natural formula designed to gently ease anxiety.”

“And it was at the beginning,” I say, starting to panic. She is telling me everything I didn’t want to hear. “But could it be that this is happening over time? You know, the more I take, the more likely this is to happen?”

She slowly shakes her head. “No, Hazel. I promise you, the tablets are safe.”

My breath catches. “So, you’re saying I’m going crazy?”

“No, Hazel. I’m not saying that at all. What I’m saying is that these symptoms are likely not caused by the herbal tablets. We need to look at other potential factors.”

I slump in my chair, feeling a mix of relief and renewed anxiety. “But if it’s not the tablets, then what is it? Am I just losing my mind?”

“There could be many explanations for what you’re experiencing. Stress, lack of sleep, or even an underlying medical condition could cause similar symptoms. I think, under these circumstances, it would be wise to see your regular doctor for a full check-up just to rule out any physical causes. Once a diagnosis comes back, I’m happy to work with you and the doctor to find a natural remedy if you want me to.”

I nod slowly, trying to process this. “So, you think I should keep taking the tablets?”

Dr Winters hesitates. “If you’re comfortable continuing with them, yes. They aren’t causing these symptoms. However, if you’d feel better stopping them for now, that’s perfectly fine, too. We can always revisit herbal remedies once we’ve got to the bottom of what’s really going on.”

I chew my lip, considering. Part of me wants to stop taking them immediately, just in case. But another part of me remembers how much they helped initially. “I think I’ll keep taking them for now. But I’ll make an appointment with my doctor as well.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Dr Winters smiles encouragingly.

“Okay. Thank you for your time.” I rise and leave, feeling conflicted. Part of me is relieved that the tablets aren’t causing my symptoms, but another part is even more unsettled. If it’s not the tablets, then it has to be me.

As I walk to my shop, I try to focus on the positives. I have a plan now - see my regular doctor, get checked out, rule out any physical causes. It’s a start.

I unlock the door to the bookshop and step inside. I flick on the lights and make my way to the counter.

I scream as I see the masked magician sitting next to the cash register, its taped face frozen in an eerie grin, its glossy tears almost mocking.

With my heart pounding, I try to calm down. Is this real or not?

There is only one way to find out. With trembling hands, I reach out to touch it. It’s solid, real. So far, it’s not a hallucination.

“No,” I whisper, stumbling backwards. “This isn’t happening.”

But it is happening. Someone was in my shop. Someone left this here for me to find.

I grab my phone, ready to call the police, when I hesitate. What if they don’t believe me? What if I sound crazy again? That officer yesterday probably thinks I need locking up. What if he does? What if he thinks I’m making this all up and arrests me for wasting police time?

I stare at the masked doll in my hands, my mind racing. This is real. I’m not imagining it. But how did it get here? Who put it here and why?

My hands shake as I set the doll back down on the counter. I need proof this time. Proof that I’m not losing my mind.

I hold up my phone and snap several photos of the doll from different angles. Then I take a video, panning slowly around the shop to show it’s really here in my store.

“Okay,” I mutter to myself. “Stay calm. Think this through.”

Someone must have broken in overnight to leave this here. I need to check if anything else was disturbed or taken.

I do a careful sweep of the shop, checking the till, the shelves, the back room. Everything else seems to be in order.

A horrible thought occurs to me then. What if it’s been here all along, and I just didn’t notice it before? What if I’m so far gone that I’m hallucinating its sudden appearance?

I gulp as I look back at the masked magician, and I feel everything drain out of my soul. I can’t move. I don’t want to move. I just want to stand here, and then maybe things won’t be so wrong.