Page 32

The birds are chirping. Buffy is snoozing on Mali’s lap, the river is being pretty or whatever, and Zach has never been this happy. He still has to move. His brother is still a traitor, and Zach is ignoring his calls. He still has to figure out what to do with his mum. But still, life is never going to get better than this. Mali loves him. She loves him like he loves her. He has to try. He has to ask her. The worst she can say is no, and the best part is he thinks she might say yes.

“I haven’t known what to say to you the past week that’s not some heartbreaking novel about how I never want to be without you,” he says. Zach’s over not being truthful with her. It’s going to hurt either way. Ezra is right; she deserves everything. Even his poorly worded declarations of love. “But I don’t. Want to be without you, I mean. Ever.”

Mali crosses her legs at the ankles, and he lifts them to hook over his. She’s practically sitting on him, but there’s no one else here. Buffy pushes his paws into her thigh at the intrusion but ultimately lays back down.

“I don’t wanna be without you either.”

“Tuesday is so close,” he whispers. He looks at the way she plays with the edge of his jumper. The way her throat bobs as she swallows. The way her eyes widen when she looks at him and he’s already looking at her. “Four more days and then I’m Mali-less.”

She smiles, kissing him once. “Not true. I’m staying until the weekend after, so you’ve got like more days than that.”

His heart beats faster. “What?”

“Well, we can stay in a hotel the first few nights,” she says, “while we look at places, because I’m not sleeping in your car.”

“You’re driving with me?”

“Yeah. If you want, obviously. I thought maybe I could help you unpack, and it wouldn’t feel as life threatening. Besides, if I leave my favourite jumper in Scotland, it will feel like I’m just away from home for a little bit whenever we’re not together,” she says, with a sigh. “Hopefully I get my car in time.”

“You’re buying a car?” What else has she been doing while he’s been moping?

“Yeah,” she replies. “Look.” She pulls her phone out, and he tilts her chin so she’s looking at him again. She smiles, and he kisses her because he can. Mali closes her phone, pulling him closer. “I’ll show you later.”

Kissing her might be his favourite way to pass time, and when she pulls back, her lips are swollen, and he can’t believe he’s never kissed her in the daylight. The sunset is pink behind her, but she’s the most divine thing he’s ever seen.

“Tell me about the car,” he whispers.

“The trains aren’t always great,” she replies, her eyes trained on his lips. She swallows. “And, uh, I don’t wanna have to rely on small-town transport to come see you. You know how our buses don’t work past four p.m. I’m not getting stranded in the Highlands! Tuesday, Mum is going to drive my car up with your mum, and then Dad will drive their car up and I’ll drive with you, but they’ll just stay a few days, and I can drive my car back next weekend.”

“You’ve planned it all out?” She might like him back for real. Yes, she said she loved him mere moments ago, but he’s only now allowing himself to believe it. That she didn’t say it just to make him feel better. She does—love him—for real.

“Yeah,” she replies. “Well, I don’t have your game schedule or anything, but we can work around that.”

“How did you do that?”

“It’s on my spreadsheet!” She picks her phone up again, the screen lights up, and her background is him. “I have truly been ignoring work.”

“I’m your phone background,” he mentions uselessly, like she doesn’t know he’s her phone background.

Mali giggles, and he pulls her closer. “Yeah.” She finds her spreadsheet as he thinks about how she liked a photo enough to put it on her phone for anyone to see. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, spinning it until she can see his screen. It’s her, because of course it’s her.

“It’s me,” she whispers, looking between him and his phone. “I was sure it was going to be Buff.” He clicks his phone open so she can see his home screen. It’s her, but Buffy is there too.

“God,” she groans. “I don’t know if I can say I love you anymore, but I have a very deep affection for you.”

“So your mum says,” he replies, and she rests her forehead against his shoulder. She kisses him there, as he thought she would.

“Shh! Okay, so I spoke to Frankie, and I can group all my holidays right. So, if I use one week every other month, and you use your holidays in groups, we can see each other at least once a month! I’ve worked it out so we’re here for my birthday, and then we can spend Christmas in Scotland, because I’m pretty sure the Dougals have a Boxing Day game every year. And Frank said on weeks I don’t have meetings I can work from home, which means I can work from Scotland, so some of those times can be like two weeks long. I’ll barely even miss you.”

“But this is the first Christmas in your home,” he whispers.

“Not to sound like a cheesy wooden plaque from TK Maxx, but you are my home. I love my house, but I want to spend Christmas with you. We could be at the side of the road in your car. I don’t care. Dad will, though, so we should be at your place.”

“You’re the greatest part of my life,” he says. “What other spreadsheets do you have?”

Mali smiles. “So many! I have a Buffy one. I think he’d like a front-seat carrier, because he likes to look out of the window on drives. Isn’t that right, Buff?” Buffy rubs his face against Mali’s stomach, so she must be right.

“Uhm, a money one. So, okay, with the Goliath sponsorship I’m assuming we’ll get but not on time, because I’m waiting for the post,” she says, her hands flying around the air, “but there’s another version for if we don’t get it, and what I make from work and renting out the outbuilding, and what you could save from your wages—you could be bought out in like a year and a half. Two years, max,” she says, showing him the calculations she’s done. “Then, Scotland might be great and you wanna stay there anyway. But then we can save for a new house or something, but at least you’ll be out. It’ll be your choice.”

Zach blinks, half the information going straight over his head because all he can think about is Mali wants to keep him. She wants to spend her own money (which he’ll never take) to get him back to her. Fuck, she truly might love him back. She’s showing it with more than words. He wants to show her too.

“You’re making sure we see each other,” he whispers, and she frowns at him.

“Yeah. I love you, and I’m sure I’ll love you forever, but I want to make sure we do. Or that we have the chance to.”

“Do you wanna go on a real date with me?”

“Yes,” she replies instantly.

Zach blinks. “Wait, what?”

Mali laughs. “Why are you shocked?”

“I—”

“Zach,” she whispers. “I want to move your mum in. I wake up early to walk to work with you. I have a thousand-row-long spreadsheet so I can figure out every possible way of seeing you for the next two years, and you didn’t think I’d wanna go on a date?”

“Well, to be fair, I didn’t know you had the spreadsheet.”

She laughs. “You really didn’t know?”

He rubs his hand against her leg. “I hoped, but I couldn’t really think beyond that.”

“I’ve wanted to date you for the longest time.”

“Can I tell you something?” he asks.

“Always.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispers. “And I’m not as good as you at spreadsheets, but I promise I’ll send you the voice notes. And here…” He pulls up his note app, which is just a long list of words right now. They only make sense to him, but he scrolls to the top, and in bold it reads “Reasons to get Mali to visit Scotland.”

She looks up at him with tears in her eyes. “You wanted me to come?”

“I didn’t know how to ask you to be long distance with me, because I know you hate it, but I thought if there were other reasons for you to visit, I could trick you into spending three years with me.”

Mali smiles. “I don’t care where you are. I’m going to love you anyway.”

“Yeah?”

Mali nods. She leans up, her nose brushing his, and before the kiss, he says one more thing.

“I keep imaging that we do it,” Zach whispers against her lips. “Me in Scotland and you here, but we do it. It’s just three years, and then I get to keep you for the rest of my life.”

She smiles slightly. “Yeah?”

He nods, his lips against hers. “You’re the love of my life.”

She smiles so brightly that his lips only touch her teeth. He pulls back and wonders why he didn’t tell her he loved her the day he met her. “I am?”

“You are. I want everything with you. Children, a family, more cats if you want. Anything you want. I want to give it to you. You are my heart.”

“ I would not wish any companion in the world but you ,” she whispers.

Zach frowns. “ The Tempest ?”

She sighs. “I adore you.”

He kisses her hard. “Let’s go home.”

Before they can leave the river, Mali gets a string of texts.

Mali pauses as she reads them all. Her face doesn’t show much, but Zach doesn’t think it’s a catastrophe. “Frank says we have to go to Carl’s tonight,” she says, with a frown.

“What if we ignored her?” Zach says, pulling her into his arms. She smiles as she looks up at him. “She can’t make me do laps in Scotland.”

Mali raises her eyebrow as she leans closer to him. “You wanna bet?” He grunts, and Mali laughs. “What do you think? Wanna take me out tonight?”

He smiles, kissing her quickly. “It’s a date.”