Page 16 of Spirit Walker Pack (Kingdom of Wolves #5)

FENYA

Stretching as I wake, every muscle in my body screams. I need to control my mouth more.

Commenting on Ember and her bat was one of my many recent faux pas.

She certainly proved her ability and made me eat my words.

Humble pie. I seem to be getting a taste for that lately.

Astra said she would only do the bare minimum to help me recover from the bruises and sprains, and I can’t say I blame her.

Alpha Falan will expect me to stay here when he returns to Wolfsong. I know he likes Alpha Lyle. They struck up a friendship from the very first. Well, if he likes him so much, he can stay here and mate with him!

I want to spend time with Hunter. Get to know him better.

I like Hunter very much and I know he feels that way for me, too.

I don’t want to lose my fated mate because you're just as stubborn as a mule. Maybe I’ll ask the Goddess to put me with a sensible human instead of one who can’t see the wood for the trees!

AAH! You make me so angry at times I wish I could bite you!

‘You don’t even know Hunter well enough to say he feels the same,’ I respond to Astra.

Oh yes, I do. Even if I didn’t, I trust the Goddess enough to give it a chance. You disrespect her with your poor attitude. You disrespect Alpha Lyle as well. He has waited for his fated mate, waited for you, and this is what he gets for that patience.

‘What about what I want? What about Fenya’s say in all this? You have given me no thought in all your selfish plans of love, romance, and pups!’

What you want? You have never known what you have wanted your whole life!

You flit from one idea to the next. You are only such an outstanding warrior because you have nothing else in your life to concentrate on.

You pour your energies into training and fighting as though it is the only thing in the world.

Well, here’s a news flash, Fenya Stormhowl!

There are more important things than that in life and there are other people to consider, too.

Do you know why Zephyra is still here as your friend?

Astra asks me with more than a little attitude.

‘What is that supposed to mean? We have been friends all our lives.’

Yes, you have. But did you know she also turned down her fated mate because it would have meant leaving the Wolfsong Pack? Leaving you? She knew that if she left, you would have no one! I promised never to reveal that, but it’s time you saw the world outside your little bubble.

‘YOU LIE! She did not do that!’ I snarl.

Do not ever call me a liar. You go too far, human. She has waited for you to find your mate so that she can go to hers. He waits for her in the Night Shade pack to the north of Wolfsong. Turning down your mate will crush her.

My eyes smart as tears burst forth. I had no idea.

Why would she not go with her mate? Living her life knowing that her mate was waiting for her.

Am I so blinded by my own self-importance that I don’t see the world around me?

That is a terrifying thought. Now I must take a mate so that Zephyra can go to hers and live the life she deserves?

It is the life you deserve, too. You should have someone in your life to make you complete. Only then will you see the world as it truly is, and not just your little corner of it. Astra’s tone calmed somewhat.

‘Would you like a run in the forest?’

It is not I that needs the forest. You should take a stroll in the grounds. You enjoyed it when you walked with Alpha Lyle.

Sighing, I respond, ‘Perhaps enjoyed is rather a strong term, but…’

Oh, please. Enough. Now who is lying to herself? You enjoyed the experience. All aspects of it. Go for a stroll and let me have some peace from your troubled mind.

Knowing she is right and I can’t keep arguing a lost cause, I head out for the gardens. The borders surrounding the packhouse are magnificent. I don’t know what the flowers are that fill them with blooms, but they look stunning. The scent coming from them has Astra give a sneeze.

Turning a corner, I am in the kitchen garden, and it too is spectacular. Rubbing my fingers against a tall bushy plant, I smell them and am rewarded with a strong smell of mint, but with something added that I can’t place. Astra identifies it straight away, though.

‘Yes. Ginger,’ I repeat this out loud and am startled by a voice close behind me.

“Well done. Few can make that connection, it is so subtle.” A woman smiles at me and I smile back without conscious effort.

“My name is Ash. This would be part of my domain were I at home. I am ruler of all things food and kitchen at the Eclipse pack. Luna Tati asked Luna Taria for my assistance, as they are currently without a kitchen manager.”

Her name, for obvious reasons, has me giggling. Giggling? Me? What the hell! I don’t do ‘giggling’.

“Ash. That is an unusual name.”

“When I was young and believed I knew everything, I would burn everything I cooked. Perhaps cremated would be a more apt description. Hence, I became Ash.” The woman smirks more to herself than me.

“And now? Not that you’re not still young…”

“I know what you mean. I was recently promoted to Chef Ash. I chose not to lose my nickname in honor of how much I have achieved. Tell me, Fenya Stormhowl, what nickname would you give yourself?” Ash gives me an intense stare.

Frigid bitch would work! Astra snarls.

“Astra!” It is out before I can stop myself.

“My wolf, Anise, does that, too. She is talking to you, right? Annoyingly, Anise is usually accurate with whatever she says. Hm, Astra and Anise. They should get along nicely, don’t you think?” Taking the lead, she walks along a path through the herb beds.

“She is most certainly not correct in this instance.” I try to smile as though it was just some funny remark from Astra, but it probably looks more like I’m constipated.

“Haha. I know that look, too. It’s a good job that they can’t mind link. We’d have no secrets, and they would be ripping us apart for years to come with caustic remarks. We would be good friends, Fenya and Astra, if we were not destined to be so far apart.”

“Does distance matter to friends? I ask because I have only one. She is in my pack and so have no experience to draw on.” Why did I admit to that? I must sound needy and desperate.

“I have few friends myself. Many acquaintances but few genuine friends. I would be honored if you would see me as a friend, Fenya Stormhowl of the Wolfsong pack.” Holding out her hand, I take it and receive a firm and pleasant handshake in return.

“Wow! I didn’t expect to wake up this morning and increase my ‘friends list’ by one hundred percent. That is quite an achievement.”

“You are a very approachable female. You give off quite a vibe of safety and caring. I’m surprised you have so few friends.” Taking my hand in hers, she leads me through a door and back into the packhouse. Into the kitchen, to be precise.

“This is the beating heart of my temporary domain. This is where the magic happens!” Laughing she lets go of my hand and spins around with her arms spread out.

“Don’t let your mate hear that. He probably thinks the magic happens in your bedroom.” Why would I say that? Astra is obviously having an influence on me that I am not aware of.

“I should be so lucky as to have a mate. I think my fated mate is deaf, dumb and blind, with no sense of smell. How else could he not find me? I would welcome the bond of a male to share my life. One chosen by the Goddess herself. Could anything be more satisfying?” A dreamy look takes over her features and I dash it with a sentence.

“A cup of unsweetened lukewarm tea would be more satisfying.”

Her face changes in an instant to one of horror.

“How can you say such a thing? Do you not yearn for your mate to complete you? We can all go through life alone, but to have that bond that helps you reach the next level in your consciousness and physical well-being, is something we should all hope to achieve. Is it not?” Her words sound like some life coach or guru, but her sincerity is there for all to see.

“Ash, as my friend, can you keep a secret? It is huge, so I must know that you will not repeat this.”

“I will take your secret to the grave, I swear.” She takes my hands in hers and I can only believe her words.

“I have found my fated mate, yet I have all but rejected him. I know how he feels towards me. I don’t have those feelings to return.”

“How can this be? How has the Goddess made such an error in judgement? Do I know this male?”

“You will know him as Alpha Lyle of the Spirit Walker pack.” I wait for her to tell me how I must be mad not to grab this opportunity by the horns and run with it.

“Then there is something that has not yet happened to awake these feelings within you.” Her words surprise me and again there is nothing but sincerity in them.

“What? What?” I stammer and stutter. I don’t grasp the meaning of her statement.

“Well, it is obvious, Fenya my friend. You must stay near him until that something occurs that will awaken your feelings for him. Perhaps you have to witness his strength and bravery as you are clearly of warrior stock. Maybe he has to rescue a pup to arouse something within your femininity? You must not abandon this mating without giving it its chance to rise, like a dough! So far you have flour and water. The Goddess has put the yeast in and now you must be patient for it to rise in a warm, nurturing environment.” Her comment flows from her, and I’m not sure I totally believe her, but I’m listening.

Your new friend is a literary genius. She is also correct in what she says. Astra drops in the conversation once more.

“My wolf believes you to be a genius, Ash. I have to admit that I too believe you may have something there. Although I have never wanted a mate or to become a luna, you may have something about an incident needing to happen to awaken something inside me.”

“Oh my, yes. You would become a luna! What a luna you would be. You have the skill to be a Warrior Luna like no other. The softness of character to nurture a pack as if they were your own pups. You would be a formidable mate to a very fortunate alpha. He must be distraught with your hesitation to accept him.”

“I have not looked at it from his perspective, though I don’t see myself as much of a catch, Ash.” I laugh nervously as I say this. I am tall and skinny. Hardly something for an alpha to parade in front of his pack as an exquisite catch.

“Are you mad? Have you lost control of your faculties? Any male worth his salt would give up his wolf to have you. Well, maybe that’s not the right way to say it, but you know what I mean.

Do you not possess a mirror? I have a decent figure and one I know that draws occasional glances.

You have a body to die for. Long legs, slim waist, I bet you have abs like a six-pack under that top.

I could roll dough on that stomach. And don’t get me started on those breasts.

All perky and pert and, and, well, just and!

” Stopping to draw a breath, she looks at me with owl-like eyes, big and round.

“Obviously, we see two very different Fenyas. I have never met the one that you just described,” I mumble.

“I bet Alpha Lyle has though! What does your wolf say? Wolves are far more attuned to each other than our human side.”

“Astra believes they were meant for each other. She thinks I’m stubborn and foolish for not jumping into bed with Alpha Lyle at the first moment we met!”

“Hahaha! She sounds like Anise's twin. Perhaps they were separated at birth? When she commented earlier, did she call you a virgin or something similar?” Ash laughs as though she had heard Astra’s comment.

“No. She said my nickname should be…” I hesitate to say it. “Frigid bitch.”

That has Ash literally on her knees, tears rolling down her face.

“Oh my! Oh my! I can’t get my breath. Frigid bitch! That is something that Anise would say. Oh my! Oh, it hurts to laugh!” This is my cue to make my escape.

Preparing to leave, I have everything sorted in only a few minutes.

The trip to the border shouldn’t be dangerous, but the rogues have been known to venture deep into other pack lands.

I just need to keep away from Alpha Lyle as much as possible.

I don’t want to accidentally cause the mating bond to become active, as it were.