Page 13 of Spirit Walker Pack (Kingdom of Wolves #5)

FENYA

Well, I did it again! Will I ever learn to curb my temper or keep my mouth shut?

I challenged an Alpha on his own turf, in his own office, for the Goddess’ sake.

What was I thinking? He would have been well within his rights to kill me and no one, especially Alpha Falan, would have tried to prevent it.

Sitting here in the room I was allotted, which may as well be a prison cell, I dread to think what will become of me when I return to the Wolfsong Pack.

Everyone will know of my foolishness. How will I stand before the warriors and train them?

Expect them to respect me for my warrior abilities, and disciplines when I clearly can’t live up to them myself!

You flatter yourself. What makes you think you will train anyone ever again?

I sincerely doubt that you will remain in the position of Head Warrior for more than an hour on our return, and why are you thinking of our return?

Our mate is here. He has shown his own level of discipline by simply allowing you to live.

His pack respect him and he has not been Alpha here too long.

Why would you even consider returning to the Wolfsong Pack and face your dishonor?

‘Do you truly believe Alpha Falan will take away my Head Warrior status?’

WILL YOU STOP AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF, JUST FOR AN INSTANT?

You have taken away everything we have worked for, with no help from anyone.

You are foolish, bull-headed and bordering on plain stupid.

I have no kind words for you at this moment.

You cannot seriously expect me to offer you any kind of empathy.

Astra’s words cut my psyche like a whip would lash my back to shreds. ‘How can I stay here after what I’ve done? I can’t stay here and I can’t go home? Am I to become rogue?’

You would become rogue alone. I will not join you for such a disgrace of your own volition.

To stay here is your only true option and to do so, you need to be humble and accept your mistake.

The Alpha’s wolf, Hunter and I have spoken at length.

We are happy to be mates and have many similar values.

You, however, may not be the correct match for his human.

He has turned down females that have tried to become a chosen mate while he waited for his fated mate, and you are what he has been given.

If he was to even give you a second glance after this, you should throw yourself at him.

I am done talking to you for now. Think carefully regarding my words.

Our futures now depend solely on what you decide.

Seeing her lay down with her back towards me, I shudder inwardly.

Never has she spoken so much, or so harshly before.

Is it harsh, though? What she has said has only been truthful.

I have made a mess of so many things and yet she stood by me.

To tell me I would become rogue alone speaks volumes as to her intent, if I was to go down that route.

I cannot go rogue. I will not go rogue. If I have to return to Wolfsong and become a kitchen assistant that the pack will treat with the scorn I deserve, I will not turn rogue.

Knocking on the door has me jumping with fright. I don’t want to see anyone right now. Further knocking, this time more insistent, has me walking to the door. Opening it, I’m greeted by the sight of Alpha Lyle standing there. I look at him but cannot think of anything to say.

“Fenya Stormhowl, I am taking a turn around the grounds. I find it relaxing and I do my best thinking at such times. Perhaps you would care to join me?”

“I don’t think my company would be conducive to your best thinking Alpha Lyle, but thank you for asking.”

As I begin to close the door, I see a look cross his face that appears to be one of sadness. Go with him you stupid human!

“Erm. Wait,” I say as he turns to leave. “On second thoughts, I will go. Some fresh air could be just what I need right now.”

A damn good thrashing is what you need!

Stepping into the hall, he takes a step and then gestures for me to walk beside him. Passing through the packhouse, I am given a range of looks by his pack members, ranging from curiosity right through to hostile.

“I have not endeared myself to your pack, I fear. My foolish behavior has not been well received.” I glance up at him with a weak smile, but he doesn’t smile back.

“How would you have reacted had one of my pack challenged your Alpha, I wonder? Not dissimilar to a lot of mine, I wouldn’t think. In fact, I suspect that your Alpha would not have had to step into an arena. You would have taken that option off the table, so to speak.”

“Am I that transparent? I sincerely apologize for my rude behavior in challenging you. There was no reason for it other than my own ego.” I look at the ground as I walk beside him, then realize that this must look as though I don’t mean my words.

Stopping I wait for him to turn and then I tip my head in the recognized sign of respect of our kind.

Nodding back at me to accept the courtesy, he then gives a small smile. It may be small, but it lights up his face in a way that I haven’t seen in anyone for a very long time. The only word that comes to mind is ‘genuine’.

As we walk, he points out things in the gardens and I sense his pride in everything around him. Seeing someone in the distance, he picks up the pace slightly. “This is someone you need to meet,” he states, and he calls out, “Blossom! Wait up.”

I hope this isn’t some female that has tried to corral him in the past. I don’t want to be meeting a string of ‘wannabes’ on our walk.

“Alpha Lyle, what can I do for you?” She asks him, and I sense only politeness and respect.

“Blossom, I’d like to introduce you to Fenya Stormhowl. Fenya, this is Blossom, our head gardener. She is responsible for all the fantastic things I have been boasting about.”

“Fenya Stormhowl. Wow, that’s quite a fearsome name. No wonder you believed you could best our alpha. I understand that you are fated mates? Word spreads quickly. Congratulations, I think. You will certainly test each other at times. I sense that already.”

“We have not accepted each other as yet.” My tone comes out all wrong, yet she just grins.

“As yet. But you will. You look good together and most of the pack are looking forward to fireworks from you both.” Laughing, she turns and walks back to her gardening.

“Well, that told us, didn’t it?” I grin at Alpha Lyle and see him grin back.

“She has a direct way with words that you never seem to be able to take offense at. It’s one of her many talents.” Setting off again, I notice that we are heading for the forest where we had our brief confrontation.

“You played me from the very beginning in that arena. I was beaten before Alpha Falan started the contest.” I stop at the first stand of trees and look up at him.

“You were sure of yourself, I’ll give you that.”

“I was overconfident and haven’t been beaten for so long, I forgot what it was like to be humiliated.” I feel my mouth taking on the beginnings of a pout and stop myself.

“Losing doesn’t have to be humiliating. It can be an excellent tool in training yourself for the unexpected.

You have only seen me as an alpha sitting at his desk.

You could not know how often and how hard I train, both with my warriors and alone.

Did Kynan get to tell you of the challenge I gave him against one of my warriors? ”

“No. Unfortunately, I embarrassed myself, once again, as soon as Alpha Falan returned to our packhouse.” I bite my lip before telling him of my reaction to getting his scent and how I ran off.

“I’ve never been one to encourage the females, but I don’t recall having that effect on any in the past, either.” As he speaks, he’s laughing gently, which has me bristling with annoyance.

“I don’t like being laughed at, Alpha Lyle.” How does he think to win me over if he’s going to laugh at me.

“Fenya Stormhowl. If we are to get any further in getting to know each other, you need to get over yourself. I was laughing at myself, not you. The world does not owe you anything, and I certainly don’t.

I suggest you lighten up a little or someone from my pack may just do it for you.

” Turning, he walks away and I’m left standing like a fish out of water, gasping and mouth flapping.

LYLE

Leaving Fenya to herself at the stand of trees, I walk sedately back to the packhouse.

How she can go from being pleasant to a bitch in such a short space of time amazes me.

I can only wonder what has happened in her past to cause this almost split personality she displays.

Perhaps a chat with Falan will open some avenues for me to explore.

Her wolf, Astra, tells me she has had to fight all her life for everything she has, or has ever wanted. Her battle to become Head Warrior of her pack was particularly brutal.

‘Has she had no one to fight her corner then? No one with whom she could seek help or advice?’

She has but one friend, and they have been close since they were pups. Another warrior female, called Zephyra.

‘Do all the females of the Wolfsong Pack have such fierce names? Do they not have a Blossom or Flick among them?’

Would they be more interesting than our Fenya Stormhowl, do you suppose?

‘Certainly not. It was just a thought-out-loud. And how do you know so much about our mate?’

I have spent some time talking with her wolf, Astra. She is very different in temperament than her human. We get on very well together. I look forward to the time when you have won over your side of the bond.

‘My side of the bond? What is that supposed to mean?’

As wolves, we have already seen that it is fate that we should be together. We liked each other from the start. You have the shitty job of trying to persuade your human that she is welcome, needed, and loved. Something that she has no conception of, apparently.

‘Oh great. Thanks for that tidbit of information.’

Hearing pounding feet behind me, I stop and allow Fenya to catch up. Already recognizing things about her must be part of the lead up to the mating bond. Without saying a word, I turn and begin walking back to the packhouse once more.

“I am not good around new people. I lack some of the social skills.”

“Right now Fenya, I have yet to see a single social skill from you. This behavior while we are alone is one thing, but should you continue like this in front of my pack members, you will force me to reprimand you. I would not disrespect you and I ask, no, I demand, the same courtesy from you.” The fact that I say all this in a normal conversational tone makes it hit home all the more.

I can see she is taken aback by my statement.

“I wish I was more like my wolf, Astra, at times.”

“I wish you were too. Hunter, my wolf, is quite taken with Astra and the feeling is mutual, I am told. I am more patient than he is, which could prove necessary if we are to proceed beyond these short narratives we’re currently having.

” Stopping once again, I turn and look into her eyes.

“I have waited for my fated mate, Fenya. I want no other. If, as you say, you don’t want your fated mate, then say so, and we can both move on.

Unless the Goddess granted me a second chance mate, there would never be another for me.

Make no mistake. I want you as my mate, my Luna, my partner in everything.

I will not force that on you, however. If it is your choice not to accept what the Goddess has ordained, then so be it. ”

“Astra said that she had been speaking to your wolf and that they got along very well. I wasn’t sure if she was just saying that, though.”

“I have never known a wolf to lie to their human, or vice versa. Is that what you think of Astra?”

“NO! Not lying. Stretching the truth, perhaps? Not even that. I’m so messed up right now, I don’t even know what my own mind is telling me.

Astra is not happy with my behavior either, Alpha Lyle.

Perhaps I just need time to process everything.

” For once, I sense that she is vulnerable and telling me how she truly feels.

“Well, I suggest you first make peace with Astra. She sounds like a solid wolf and friend. That would be a good place to start.” Entering the packhouse, I head directly to the dining hall. Seeing a worried Falan sitting alone at a table, I grab a plate of Flick’s fine cooking and head over to him.

“Don’t look so worried Falan. We are both still breathing and she hasn’t run for the hills…Yet!”