Page 7

Smoke

Cutting up a second piece of pizza, I set it on Ashley’s plate.

“Tanks,” she said, digging in.

I smiled, bending down and kissing her on the head. “You’re welcome, babygirl.” “Does anyone else need more pizza?” I asked.

“Me, please,” Allyson said.

I cut hers in pieces before adding it to her plate.

“Thank you,” she said, smothering it in ranch dressing.

“Yuck, honey.” Kay laughed. I was glad she’d been able to drop by once the shop was closed. All we were missing was Leland and Rogue, but it was Rogue and her twin sister’s Taco Tuesday date and they tried very hard to make it happen each week.

“Is soooo good, Auntie Kay!” she protested.

“I’ll take your word for it, kiddo.” Kay laughed before booping her nose.

“Unka Smoke?” Ashley asked.

“Yes, babygirl?”

“Babygirl hurts.”

Sympathy filled my chest. “What hurts, baby?”

“Arm.”

“Your arm?”

She nodded.

“I’m sorry, baby. Tomorrow when they put a cast on it, I promise it will feel so much better. I’ll go get some more medicine for you, okay?”

“Hold me?” she asked.

The sympathy I was feeling bloomed into something deeper, something unimaginably tender.

“Of course, baby.” Bending down, I scooped her into my arms. Ashley wrapped her legs around me and I patted her bottom. She rested her head on my shoulder, her warm breath fanning across my neck. “Are you doing okay, babygirl?”

“Yes, Unka Smoke.”

“Are you just a snuggly girl?” I didn’t mind, not even a tiny bit, but I wanted to make sure she was all right.

She nodded exaggeratedly into my neck.

Carrying her up to her bedroom, I set her on her bed, and found the liquid Motrin. “You can have some of this now, and in,” I stopped to check my watch, “in about an hour and a half you can have more of the stuff Dr. Elliot prescribed you.”

She nodded, sucking her thumb. The small gesture brought tears to my eyes, to see her in her Little space, trusting and open, fuck, it was worth a fortune.

After giving her a dose of the medicine, I scooped her back up, rocking her in my arms.

“You’re just a tiny baby, aren’t you?”

She nodded, her eyes uncertain.

“Do you want to know a secret?”

More overexaggerated head nods.

“Tiny babies are my favorite.”

She studied me for a minute before giving me an ear-to-ear smile.

“You’re perfect for me, babygirl.”

Carrying her back downstairs, I settled onto the couch with her on my lap. Her thumb slid back in her mouth and I suddenly wished I’d grabbed her bunny from the closet.

Eloise climbed up beside us, and popped a pink flamingo pacifier in her mouth. Ashley reached over and took her hand and I swear my heart was so full I feared it might burst.

Picking up my beer, I took a big sip, reflecting on how perfect the night was, but my reflection was quickly ruined when my burner phone chirped. Blade’s and Bash’s immediately followed and we all shared a look before checking them.

Dammit, Jasper needed us.

Kay shot me a look over Ashley’s head and I nodded. We had a job.

Eloise and Allyson shared a look of worry and I hated they were all exposed to this side of us.

“Wrong?” Ashley asked, peering up at me with her big inquisitive eyes.

“Uncle Bash, Uncle Blade, and I have to leave to go do some work, but we’ll be back as soon as we can, okay?”

“Nu,” she said, her eyes already filling with tears.

Shit.

“I know, babygirl. I’m so sorry, but I promise I’ll be back soon.”

“Nu,” she said, shaking her head and fisting the hand of her uninjured arm in my shirt.

“It’s okay, Ashley. Ally and I will stay with you. We can play in your new playroom,” Eloise said. Bless her little heart for trying to help.

“Don’t go,” Ashley begged. Her pleas were like knife wounds to my soul.

“I know, babygirl. You’ve had an eventful thirty-six hours and now Uncle Smoke has to leave when you were just getting comfortable. It’s not fair, is it?” I said, standing with her in my arms. I knew I was going to leave her crying and I felt like complete shit about it.

Kay opened her arms and I knelt in front of her.

“No!” Ashley cried.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” I said, setting her into Kay’s lap.

She clung to my shirt and I gently worked her fingers free.

Allyson and Eloise sat on either side of Kay. “It’s okay, Ashley. I know it’s scary, but I promise they always come back,” Allyson tried.

Stepping away from her took every ounce of will I had.

I told Blade and Bash to give me a minute and I rushed upstairs, grabbing her bunny and then my gun from the safe.

Tucking the gun in my pants, I went back to Ashley and handed her the beloved stuffie.

She took it, buried her face, and sobbed into it.

“Uncle Smoke, can she have your shirt? Sometimes when I get nervous when Daddy leaves, he lets me hold his shirt and it makes me feel better cause it smells like him,” Eloise said.

“That is a great idea, Eloise. Thank you.”

I pulled off the Daddies Ink shirt I was wearing and draped it around Ashley’s shoulders. She pulled it to her face too. Bending, I kissed her head, and swallowed my guilt.

“We’ll be back in no time,” Bash said, patting me on the shoulder before going and giving his own Little one goodbye kisses.

“I know it’s hard, but it will get easier for her,” Blade added after giving Eloise a hug and kiss.

Sighing, I nodded. I fucking hoped it got easier, because at the moment it fucking sucked.

***

Ashley

Auntie Kay patted my back as I hiccuped into her shoulder. Dawson had been gone about half an hour and I had finally started to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling more like my adult self.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Little one. I know it was very hard when Daddy left, and you had to be so brave,” Kay said.

I shook my head. “He’s not my Daddy.”

Kay grinned. “Yet. He’s not your Daddy yet. That man is crazy about you, Little one, and as soon as you're ready, he’s going to take those next steps.”

I hoped that would be soon.

“Can I go get you some juice, sweetie? You cried so hard and I bet you’re very thirsty,” Kay said.

Nodding, I climbed off her lap.

“Is your arm feeling okay? You can have some more medicine in fifteen minutes.”

I nodded. “Is not so super bad.”

She kissed my forehead again before going to get my juice.

“Are you feeling a little bit better now?” Eloise asked, looking up from the puzzle she and Ally were working on.

I moved from the couch to sit beside them. “Yeah. I’m sorry I cried.”

“It’s okay to feel your feelings. I still cry when Daddy leaves to help his...” Allyson trailed off.

“To help Leland?” I filled in for her.

She and Eloise shared a look and my tummy felt like it dropped six stories. “He’s not helping Leland, is he?” I asked. I think I already suspected that. The shop was closed, and the phone that Dawson had answered wasn't even his.

“We aren’t supposed to lie,” Eloise said, talking to Allyson.

Ally nodded. “She’s our friend. She won’t tell.”

“Neither of our Daddies told us to keep it from her,” Eloise added.

Their words made my tummy hurt. Was Dawson doing something illegal? Bile rose in the back of my throat. “Is… is it drugs?” I asked. Did I have it all wrong? Had Dawson relapsed?

“No! No! Nothing like that,” Allyson promised, moving to sit closer to me and taking my hand.

“No! It’s not bad,” Eloise said. “Well, I mean…”

“Please just tell me. I’m so scared.” My heart felt like it was playing the beat for Thousand by Moby in my chest. It was definitely keeping par with his 1,015 beats per minute.

“Do you know what a mercenary is?” Allyson asked.

“A person who goes around the world telling people about religion?” I asked, very confused. I’d never, ever seen Smoke pray.

“No, that’s a missionary. A mercenary is someone who kills people and…”

“That is a terrible description of what your Daddies do!” Kay exclaimed, interrupting Allyson. She passed us each a sippy cup before sitting down on the floor with us.

“Is Dawson a mercenary?” I squawked. I thought maybe I was more prepared for him to be a drug dealer.

“No, honey, and you are fired from telling Ashley anything else about her Daddy, ma’am,” she told Allyson.

Kay wrapped her arm around me and pulled me close.

Her voice was gentle and patient. I knew whatever she was going to say next was going to be hard to hear.

“Your Daddy is a good man who has met some of the worst people on the earth. He, Blade, and Bash work for a man who helps make the world a bit better of a place.” She took my hand in hers.

“He does kill people. Bad people. Rapists, child abusers, men who abuse their power, scum,” Kay said.

I brought my bunny up to my face while I processed her words.

“I was going to say he was a good mercenary,” Allyson argued.

“He helped kill my ex. H-he was a cult leader who almost killed me. He would have killed me if I hadn’t escaped,” Eloise added.

Kay reached over and pulled her close too.

“So, he only kills bad people?” I asked.

“Very bad people,” Kay assured me. “People who could hurt us. People the world is better without.”

“One time I was listening to Uncle Blade and Daddy talk about a job they had a few years ago. They took out a small ring of human traffickers. I think there were eight of them, and they killed them all,” Allyson added

“They only kill really bad people,” Eloise promised again.

“I’m sure your Daddy didn’t know you were listening, did he?” Kay asked Allyson.

Her face turned a soft pink and she looked down. “No, Ma’am. They thought I was sleeping.”

“Human traffickers are bad people,” I said, processing.

“I know what they do sounds really harsh, but I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for them. It was only a matter of time before my ex and his sheep found me,” Eloise said, her eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” I told her.

“We don’t know who they work for or where they go when they leave and we’re not supposed to ask questions when they get back, but I’m really proud of them. More people are safe because of what they do,” Allyson added.

“Do you work with them too?” I asked Kay.

“No, honey. Leland neither.”

“Uncle Leland doesn't know about it, though, and we’re not supposed to tell him,” Eloise said.

“I only know because I am on Auntie Kay duty when they get called in and a few weeks ago I threatened to gut your Daddy if he didn’t tell me what the hell they were doing,” Kay added.

Frowning, I glared at her. “You better not hurt my Daddy… I mean… Dawson.”

Despite our serious conversation, Allyson and Eloise dissolved into giggles, and I found myself smiling too.

“I know your Daddy will talk to you about it soon, none of the men like to base relationships on dishonesty and they want you to know sooner rather than later.”

I nodded. That sounded very much like my Daddy... Dawson, I corrected myself

“Now that a few of Ashley’s questions are answered, what do you say we all watch a movie?” Kay asked, probably hoping to steer us toward a happier topic.

“Could we watch it in my new playroom?” I had a new TV in there begging to play a Disney movie.

“I think that’s a great idea. How about you Little girls make pallets on the floor and I’ll make some popcorn.”

Smiling, I nodded. Maybe we could still make it a good night.