Page 35 of Slumming It

But it wasn't her body that sparked my primary interest. It was her green eyes, flashing with defiance as she said with more than a little attitude, "Fake bed buddy, reporting for duty."

Fake was right.No matter how good she looked, there was no way I'd be tappingthat. I made a show of looking at my watch. "Took you long enough."

Her chin lifted. "Yeah, well…I didn't know you were gonna go anywhere."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, for all I knew, you were planning to come back." She hitched a thumb to her left. "To your other hotel room, I mean."

Oh, yeah. This was gonna be good. "That's notmyroom," I told her. "It's yours."

She blinked. "Mine?"

"You said you wanted free room and board." I shrugged. "So you're welcome."

"Wait, what?"

"You're welcome," I repeated.

Her eyes narrowed. "Now wait just a dog-gone minute —"

"Dog-gone, huh?" I gave a slow nod. "Iguessthat'll do. Try to work it in later, alright?"

She shook her head. "Later?"

"Yeah. When we're in public." I gave her another once-over. "If you've got any other hometown phrases, feel free to pull them out." When she opened her mouth to reply, I cut her off by asking, "You don't play the banjo, do you?"

"Oh, for God's sake." She was bristling now. "No. I donotplay the banjo, and even if I did, I wouldn't be playing it foryou." Shegave another jerk of her chin. "And for your information, I got the expression 'dog-gone' from my grandmother who was ten times the person you'll ever be."

Oh, yeah. She was ticked alright.But she wouldn't be storming off, not if this played out like I'd planned. It was time to set the hook. "By the way, your per diem is another hundred, payable at the end of each day."

This made her pause. "Per diem? What per diem?"

"Yesterday, you said you wanted room and board."

"No, I didn't." Her face scrunched up in confusion. "Did I?"

"You were clear enough." I gestured toward the room on the other side of the wall. "There's the room. The extra hundred is the board."

"You mean like…for meals and stuff?"

I nodded. "Except the ones we eat together. Those, I'll be picking up."

She glanced toward the neighboring hotel room before saying with thinly veiled sarcasm, "Gee, that's awful nice of you."

Ihadto say it. "Gollygee would be better."

Her eyes flashed with new annoyance. "I donotsay golly gee."

She looked so flustered that I fought a sudden urge to smile. "That's too bad."

"Why?"

With new inspiration, I tossed out another hook. "Because I'll give you an extra twenty if you do." I paused. "Per use. As long as we're in public."

She looked at me like I'd just lost my mind.Had I?I was enjoying this far too much – and not in the way I'd planned.

She held up a hand. "Hold up. We never agreed that I would be staying with you."