Page 105 of Slow Heat

Jason straightened in his seat.

“I’m tired of being in pain so often, of hurting and losing heat after heat. I’m tired of putting your father through this. He’s suffered, too. If I could give him one more child, maybe he’d forgive me for…for the rest.”

“He loves you,” Jason pleaded, hoping Pater would see reason. Though he was clueless as to how the illegal abortion procedure could be arranged, he had no doubt Father would find a way if Pater would only agree. “He’s never been angry about any of that.”

“I meant forgive me for dying,” Pater said quietly.

A knife pierced Jason’s heart. He could barely breathe but he managed to ask, “Did you do this on purpose? Did you even take the drugs this time?”

“What? Of course I took the drugs.” Pater snapped. “The chemist who makes them for me has always warned they could fail. So far, I’ve been lucky. This time, though…” he trailed off. His expression softened. “You’ll be in good hands with your omega. I can see in his eyes he’ll care for you. And your father…” Pater’s chin trembled.

“He can’t raise a baby alone!”

“You and your Vale can help him.”

“Stop calling him my Vale. He’s justVale. He’s my omega, and he’s not going to raise my little brother that you’re selfishly insisting on having.” Jason shoved his plate away, hard enough that it skidded to the other side of the table and almost toppled off.

“Jason…” Pater sounded just like he did when he’d scolded Jason when growing up.

“No. Stop.” Jason thrust back from the table and stood up, pointing down at Pater. “And what if the baby doesn’t make it and you die for nothing? For no good reason at all? What then? Please, Pater. This doesn’t have to happen. Father said he could find someone to…to… handle it.”

Pater shook his head and lit another cigarette, his fingers shaking. “That’s so risky, Jason. You’re young. You don’t understand the consequences, but your father and I do. We’ve seen what can happen. My life isn’t worth Yule going to prison. I’d rather die trying to do this for him than die in a prison cell, forced to endure heats alone, and knowing your father was miserable and frantic in a separate cell without me.” Pater jabbed his cigarette Jason’s way. “And let me tell you, prison is the best scenario if we’re caught. I lost an omega friend when I was quite young. He was unbonded and fell into heat unexpectedly. He did what he had to do and ended up getting an abortion. He was caught two days later. Executed within a week.”

Jason’s mouth went dry.

But Pater wasn’t done. “Not to mention the abortion procedure itself is risky. Doctors aren’t trained in how to do it and so few good ones are willing. Omegas have been known to die from the attempt alone. Our anatomy is delicate. The instrument meant to save us can finish us.” Pater sucked on his cigarette and then ashed in his plate. “So, again, I’d rather risk my life to give this child a chance, than to die trying to destroy it.”

“Pater, please…” Jason whispered. “I don’t want to lose you. Please don’t do this.”

“There’s no good choice here, Jason. I have to take the least bad one. Like I said, this baby wants to be born. He’s held on for seven weeks now. That’s over a quarter of the full twenty week term.”

“How long have you known?”

“A week or so. Your father smelled him for the first time yesterday. That means he’s growing larger. He’s healthy. If only I can hold onto him…”

The sound of shattering glass came from upstairs. Pater jumped up, knocking his chair over, as he rushed toward the dining room door. Jason followed, his heart aching like a horse-kick to his chest. Racing up the stairs, he passed his Pater easily and reached his parents’ bedroom first. Jerking open the door, he found the room in darkness.

Their wide bed was made neatly and the other furniture in the room loomed like giant shadows. Father stood by a broken window, staring out into the night. Cold air poured in and whooshed past Jason into the hallway.

“I’m fine,” Father said, in a dead, lifeless voice. “Go away.”

“Yule!” Pater cried from the stairs, coming up as quickly as he could, but his face had gone pale and he was trembling.

Jason moved out of his way as Pater entered the room and took in the scene.

“I’m fine, Miner,” Father repeated, leaning a bleeding hand against the window frame. He kept his eyes trained out the broken window into the front yard. The stars shone in the black sky, clearer without the glass to reflect the light from inside. They looked like pinpricks of white in a navy curtain.

Pater pushed past Jason and into the room. “What did you do?”

“I needed some fresh air and the window was stuck. So I broke it. But everything’s fine now.”

Jason’s stomach ached and tears ran down his face. “Nothing’s fine!”

Father kept his strong back straight and his face blank as he stared outside.

Pater moved toward him, saying over his shoulder, “Jason, go downstairs. I’ll deal with this.”

“But—”